Soo…a lot of people yelled/cried at me because of the last couple of chapters. And, well, I'm basically still expecting it for a long time to come. Since I'm now officially a Naruto killer. Hehe, I made this chapter especially sad just for you guys. Aren't I just awful? And remember that one-month time lapse back in chapter 7? I decided to include some of the stuff that happened during that month since I needed something to put in. Oh, yeah, I kinda wrote a poem while I was thinking about this story and I'm most likely going to post it on fictionpress. And once again, there's barely any talking so yeah. Please enjoy.
Disclaimer: For the last time in this story, I do not own Naruto.
Chapter 10: The Promise
Two days laterToday was it, the day of Naruto's funeral. The arrangements had been procured earlier than what would have usually been done, but Sasuke wasn't complaining in the least. He wanted this to be over as soon as possible so he could start repairing what was left of his heart.
Heartbroken didn't even begin to truly describe what he was feeling. He was never one to regret the decisions he made most of the time and even though despondency was wreaking its sorrowful havoc on his being, he wouldn't have changed the connection Naruto and he shared during the remaining part of the blonde's life. Seeing the boy smile in contentment made it worthwhile in the end, however miserable he may have been feeling. Naruto's emotional mask was almost perfect, the only noticeable flaw being his eyes.
Those sparkling blues never succeeded in hiding its host's feelings from Sasuke.
Knowing about what was going to happen to Naruto didn't help by any means. If anything, the knowledge made everything worse, if only in the background of it all. They had been happy through during the last month, but the depressing fact loomed over them, ready to fall and crush them under its oppressive weight. And it had fallen exceedingly hard.
Sasuke had been asked to deliver a eulogy, but he declined without a moment's thought. He wasn't certain if he would be able to say anything about Naruto that would give him the justice he deserved.
And now that he was standing here with only a few people around him to stand witness to the burial, Sasuke found himself to be speechless and almost completely immobile other than when he breathed. He didn't even look to see who had shown up because at that moment, he felt like the only person on the planet. And frankly, he very much wanted to be alone in the literally sense. It was better for him to cope with things when he was left to his own devices.
The setting was extremely contradictory to the event occuring. Not a single cloud interrupted the calm blue pigmenting the sky, the sun a bright beacon illuminating all its brilliant rays touched, filling everything with warmth unlike any other.
Everything except for Sasuke, who felt much too chilled to be considered alive. Not even the clothes on his back provided him with a temperature worthy of an individual who could still take a breath of air and feel as though they were thriving.
The funeral was an all around quiet affair, the only constant noise being the wind as it passed by. No one spoke to him and even if they did, he didn't care to hear them, his mind being in a different place and time, back to that first month they had spent as a couple before they were given hope over Naruto surviving from his trauma.
During that time, Naruto had told him a lot of things, mostly dealing with what he liked and what his dreams, hopes, and fears were. And Sasuke would always listen to every word, copying them into his mind because there was a reason why Naruto told him those things. He knew without even having to ask the blonde for a reason. He could just feel it radiating off him with every passing moment.
Naruto wanted someone to know him for everything that he was while alive. Sasuke was respectful enough to allow Naruto the freedom to do so without being questioned. It wasn't often that someone had to sit by whilst watching another person die slowly, nor should no one ever have to.
The others parted soon enough, leaving Sasuke alone with only Naruto's headstone to keep him company, only his name gracing the firm stone. It wasn't like nothing else could have been carved on, but more like no one knew what to put.
Sasuke felt like he had been wronged too much in his life so far. No twelve year old existing anywhere should ever have to be an eyewitness to as much death as he had seen. But he had overcome it all with a new wall around his heart as a testament to what he had been through, only for the structure to crumble down to almost nothing because of the death of someone who, while alive, was the most precious person to him.
He sat down in front of the stone, staring at it like it wasn't wanted in his life yet looking at it as though he had no choice but to accept it for what it was. Although Naruto was dead, he still felt like there were things that he needed to share, even if his words would only land on deaf ears. Saying them would make him feel at least a little better, not being able to get a reply aside.
For a few moments, Sasuke once again found himself silent. He was naturally a rather quiet person and even after the blonde was gone, he still had trouble expressing himself. Taking a deep breath, he let his resolve carry him forward, even if he felt awkward about talking in front of a grave.
Sasuke reached out, running his fingertips over the etching of Naruto's name and said, "I recall that you once told me that your greatest fear was that no one would remember you after you died. You never asked for anyone to do that, but you were still afraid that no one would choose to keep you with them when you passed on."
Tears slid down his face when he reflected on all that had taken place for what seemed like the hundredth time. Sasuke thought that he had cried all the tears that he ever needed to in the past few days, but that didn't stop them from flowing from his eyes. Something told him that it would be a long while before he completely got over this, if ever at all.
Being a person who held onto the past like a lifeline would prove depressing in this situation.
Though, now that he was thinking about it, he didn't feel weak over shedding tears. He had stopped crying long ago, after his brother had destroyed his clan. And since that day, he swore to himself that he wouldn't cry anymore no matter what happened in the future that made him feel like he needed to.
Crying had yet to solve anything in his life so far and before now, he found it an unnecessary show of weakness that he could do without. But now, his expression of grief through tears almost seemed like an involuntary response to what he was experiencing, the salty liquid flowing free before he could attempt to put a stop to them.
"You know, I could just imagine what you'd do if you saw me like this," Sasuke said quietly, covering his watery eyes with his hand.
Sasuke had gotten to know Naruto enough that the reaction would have been obvious to him by now. The blonde would make some snide yet meaningless comment and then hold him like Sasuke himself had done on the night he had divulged his fears over dying. Sasuke wished Naruto could hold him once again. He wouldn't allow anyone else the privilege of doing so, not when he was still very much in love with someone whose life had been cut short.
"Anyway," Sasuke continued from his earlier topic, "I will never forget what you meant to me. And I'll always keep your memory with me, even if no one else does."
Sasuke stood up and backed away from the grave, the wind blowing by and picking up his hair with it. It seemed almost pointless and ridiculous to talk to a dead person, their ears forever closed to any sound that happened to come by. But Sasuke felt like he had to make an everlasting vow of never forgetting the blonde ninja. There was solace to be found in that sort of oath, but sadness accompanied it as well.
The Uchiha looked up towards the cloudless sky, the promise of another bright spring in the air. Only this time around, there would be one less person to bask in its green wonders born of the earth. It seemed cruelly ironic that Naruto had died just when new life was emerging.
He closed his eyes from the happiness of the nature surrounding him and asked, "Is it all right for me to keep loving you…Naruto?"
Not surprisingly, he wasn't given answer. Reopening his dark eyes, he felt the wind pick up again and caught sight of some petals from a cherry blossom tree flowing with the gentle breeze. He remembered Naruto saying that he had a particular liking for cherry blossoms when one of them grazed against his cheek for a moment, the scent of pollen reaching his nose.
Smiling lightly, he reached out to capture it in his palm, his fingers brushing against it briefly before evading his grasp to continue its journey through the air.
Hand suspended in the air, Sasuke watched the petal swirl away from him, thinking of how both the petal and Naruto were similar in a way. They were both right within his grasp for a moment, just to fly away and leave him behind in their wake of captivating him enough to reach out.
"I miss you already, Naruto," Sasuke whispered before walking away from the headstone.
He would move on for his own sake, but he would forever be unable to let go.
Author's Notes: And that's the end! By the way, I just decided to make it spring. Don't know why. Wow, I just realized that this is my first completed multi-chaptered story. I would like to thank all of you who took the time and had the patience to read this fic. I greatly appreciate it. ^^! And a special thanks goes out to:
SkywardShadow—You were quite literally with me from the very beginning and I am grateful for your every review. And you're the only other person I know besides a good friend of mine who puts "le gasp". Lol.
punkin17—Thanks for actually reading most of my Naruto fics and basically just putting up with my late updating crap. Hopefully, I'll be able to figure out a way to update more frequently before long. …Sometime before my imagination commits overly dramatic suicide with a toothbrush… Hahahahaha, sorry, too much Mountain Dew.
Ethereal-Sage—For your passionate reviews. And the cookies! But seriously, there was no way that I'd be able to change my mind about Naruto dying. I did change tactics once for a different fic… Never again, man. Never again.
meyasha—For being a raving Gackt fangirl with me and for your reviews. And you thought there was going to be a happy ending somewhere? *wags finger in your face* Shame on you and your naïve ideas of happiness. Hahahaha. *returns invisible high five* Damn straight we be Gackt fans, yo! *does weird hand gesture that means nothing* XD
And of course to everyone that reviewed, favorited, and story alerted, big sparkly anime eyes full of love for you all! And I must thank Avril Lavigne's album "Let Go", for giving me the inspiration to start working on this last chapter.
Sequel: I have NO clue when it will be published or if I'm actually gonna write it. There are still some details that need to be sorted out and it's kinda hard since my imagination likes to play the ever tedious game of 'ooo, new story idea, let's drop everything else and work on this'. The theme has pretty much been set since I first mentioned a sequel. If I do publish it, it'll be called 'Lingering Memories'. Though I am trying to publish works for other fandoms so forgive me if I stray away from Naruto for a while.
Anyways, see ya! Please Review!