Present

"Wooooooow." Said Veronica in shocked.

"V, you look like you're at a loss for words" I said sarcastically

"I am"

"My god..the apocalypse is coming!"

"Shut up! I just can't believe that you tried drugs...and liked it"

"Yep"

"Oh no, not billion dollar bitch, miss holyer than thou"

"Yeeep."

"Was it bad?"

"Was what bad?"

"Your problem"

"I never said I had a problem V"

"You didn't have to, because you obviously did for you to wind up in here"

I got quiet, I never really looked at myself as having a problem, that kinda hit home for me. But I shook it off and decided to continue with my story, I've come to far to stop now, and besides Veronica would kill me if I did. She's the type of person that if you start to tell her something, you better finish it...or else. And I never wanted to know what or else meant.

Flashback

"Stephanie!"

"Yes babe?"

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Paul asked closing our bedroom door.

"Noooope" I said with a smile.

"Why are you acting like this?" He said with a disgusted look on his face

"Like what?"

"Like that!, like you're not in the know"

Truth be told, with as much cocaine as I snorted, I probably wasn't in the know...nah, scratch that, I definitely was not in the know.

"Daddy, I've been a very bad girl tonight, maybe you should punish me" I said entwining my hands together and walking towards him with a naughty yet innocent look on my face, swaying my hips in the process.

"Stephanie, I am in no mood for sex"

"But I am" I said with a pout

"Well you better go find some other way to get yourself off because I won't be doing it for you"

"Why are you acting like this!?" I screamed

"Why are you acting like that!?" He shot back

"PAUL!"

"STEPHANIE!" He mocked. "And ssshhh, you're gonna wake the kids"

I walked over and placed a hand on his chest and begin to kiss his neck, I was angry and hurt when he pulled back from me. Why was he acting this way? He'd never turned me down before, even when he's mad he'd always screw me.

"You don't want me?" I asked with hurt in my voice.

"Not right now, no. I don't." He said removing my hand from his chest. "You need to get some sleep and when you come to your senses, we can talk in the morning" and with that he walked away from me and towards the bathroom.

Present

"Is he taking a shit? Is he shitting? Because he's always walking towards that damn bathroom."

"Ugh."

Flashback

The next morning I rolled over and awoke to find that Paul wasn't there, part of me already kinda knew that would happen, and the other half wished he'd still be there. I hopped up, stretched and then went to take a shower. I stayed in there for a long time, just thinking things over, one of the major things being why in the hell did I do drugs, and cocaine of all ones!. I promised myself that I wouldn't do or go near that shit ever again. I didn't want to be another Kiren.

I finished my shower and put on a pair of short shorts and one of Paul's white tank tops. He loves it when I wear his clothes, maybe I can take his mind off of things with a distraction, anything to avoid bringing up last night but I knew that was impossible. I brushed my hair and then walked into the kitchen to see Paul watching TV with the kids. Thank god because that means we wouldn't have to talk right now and if I wanted to get lovey dovey and cuddle with him or something, he wouldn't pull away. Our kids are very smart and pick up on a lot of things. I had also seen that he made breakfast, I went over and grabbed a piece of bacon and went into the living room.

"Good morning loves" I said to my Husband and children

"Mommy!" Clair cried out as she ran towards me to give me a big hug.

"Morning mommy" the twins called out in unison.

"Hi mommy" Dillon waved with a smile.

Paul said nothing as he looked straight ahead while holding Dillon.

"Dada"

"Yes?"

"Why you not say good morning to mommy?"

"Why didn't you say it?"

"I did!"

"You said 'Hi mommy' "

"Same thing" he said as he hopped off of Paul and grabbed a toy truck.

I looked at Paul strangely as I picked up Clair and carried her on my hip over to the sofa next to Paul. When I sat down, he got up and walked into the kitchen.

"Stay here for mommy ok? I'll be right back" I said as I kissed her cheek.

I walked into the kitchen to see Paul fixing himself some orange juice.

"The hell is your problem?"

"Oh, you've got some nerve don't you?" He said

"Paul, I've done nothing wrong"

"Except act like a total fool last night in front of our friends"

I had to calm myself before I slapped him for calling me a fool.

"First of all, I'm not a fool, second of all those are your friends, not mine"

"First of all, I didn't call you a fool, so you need to open up your damn ears. I said you acted like one, which you did. And second of all, does it really matter whose friends they are? You said some low down shit"

What in the hell did I say? I thought to myself.

"Like what?" I asked, but still in a defensive tone.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe calling sable a bitch and telling her to stay out of our business"

Yes! Score one for me! But damn I wish I would have told her that under my own control and not under the influence.

"Well it's true, she is and she should"

"But it's not like we were discussing anything important, you wanted to get freaky and were whispering dirty shit into my ear. She simply asked in a friendly and playful tone what we were talking about and you just went off on her, I think you should apologize.

-fuck that- I thought to myself

I sighed. "Fine, I'll go call the bitch and apologize"

"If you're gonna have that type of attitude about it, then you might as well not even do it."

"Damn Paul, I'll do the shit right ok. Just stop treating me like a child"

"I will when you stop acting like one" and he grabbed his juice and walked away.

Present

"For the love of god, for once can you please be the first to walk away, I'm sick of seeing his back even though I've never seen it!"

I laughed a little.

"What can I say? My man is quick to end a argument and walk away"

"Damn turbo feet"

I laughed.

Flashback

It had been a week since the whole Sable thing and I called and apologized and she forgave me. Neither one of us meant what we said to one another over the phone, but for the sake of our husbands reputations we had to keep our shit together to make them look good.

I was in my office when I got a knock at the door, guessing it was just my secretary I hollered out "come on in". Whomever walked in, I didn't glance up from my work, I just kept on doing what I was doing until I heard her voice.

"Hey buddy".

I glanced up with a look that could kill.

"The fuck are you doing here Kiren?"

"I work here now...again." She said with a smile.

How the hell does she keep getting around? She's everywhere!

"Well, I wasn't informed of getting any new assistants or anything, so if you will please leave and don't let the door hit you on the way out." I smiled and went back to work.

"Pretty tough talk from a woman who did drugs with me just a week ago"

I shot up out of my seat and ran to the door, I opened it and glanced down the hallway both left and right and then I looked straight ahead to make sure no one was walking towards me or passing by my office. After I was done I shut the door behind me and locked it.

"Shut up" I said in what seemed like barely a whisper.

"Well, its the truth"

"I don't care"

She reached into her purse to get something.

"I hope you're not reaching for what I think you're reaching for Kiren"

"Oh calm down, I'm just getting a piece of gum, but I clearly see what's on your mind... want sum?" She said holding the pack of Extra, polar ice flavored gum packet towards me.

"No thank you, I don't want anything from you"

"Funny"

"How?"

"Because I offer you gum and you look at it like it's covered in blood, but I offer you drugs, cocaine none the less, and you take it like a homeless person who just got offered a huge plate of food."

Present

"Truuuuue"

"Shut up Veronica"

Flashback

"Well, that was my first and last time doing that."

She chuckled "that's what I said and look at how I ended up"

"Well, you and I are two totally different people. And the biggest difference between you and I, is that I have self control and I know when to stop things when the going gets tough"

She laughed.

"Whatever you say Steph. I've known you for years and we both now that once you get curious about something, you're not gonna stop until your curiosity surpasses, and face it, you still wanna have that whole outta body experience. I remember my first time I..

"Excuse me, but this is not story telling time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do, unlike you"

She held up her hands as if to surrender.

"Ok, ok Steph. I'm gonna go" she walked towards me, and when she got to me she stopped and turned towards me.

"But deep down, you know I'm right" she flashed a smile and walked out.

I took a deep breath and then locked the door. I walked back towards my desk and stopped in my tracks. That's when I saw the small bag of white powder lying on my desk. When did this get here? I thought, she must have placed it here when I was checking to see if anyone was coming.

I picked up the bag with my thumb and index finger and examined it as if I was a scientist trying to figure something out about it I sighed.

"Kiren is such a bitch, she ruined her own life with this shit and now she's trying to ruin mine" I said to myself. I glanced at the bag once more and threw it down in the trash.

There was a knock. That better not be Kiren, I opened the door and it was my secretary. She informed me of a case that I was going to be doing and that it would be a long night. I called Paul and told him I'd be late, we still weren't on the best of terms but at least we were talking. After I hung up, I just laid my head in my hands. Why is life so stressful for me? First Kiren, the Tyler, now Paul and now Kiren again!? And this case is pissing me off to.

I need to blow off some steam or something, I got up and went to go to the bathroom, but I didn't go alone...I took the little clear bag with me.