I do not own JoJo's Bizarre Adventure or the Persona series.
"I have to admit, this is not how I planned to spend my School Festival." Yu Narukami muttered aloud as his eyes scanned the hallway.
It had all started with the sound of bells, and a mysterious tower appearing outside the school. Naturally, he and the rest of the Investigation Team went outside to investigate. Over there, they encountered the standard Shadows. It surprised them at first, but it was nothing that they couldn't handle.
What they did not expect however was to be confronted by a man who seemed to have stepped right out of an American Western and an (Admittedly stunning) woman with silver hair, large breasts...
...and legs that stretched for days.
Yu seriously wondered if that was something he was into.
They fought for a bit, but their Persona powers were weird. The thing that threw the team off was that these two, Hol Horse and Mariah, didn't use humanoid Personas. Rather they were a simple gun and electric socket. But they were deadly, with Hol Horse being able to control his bullets and Mariah who manipulated magnetism.
They weren't being beaten, but they were still on the defensive.
But then they came.
Three big groups.
Only one familiar.
Because it was them in a sense. The group had a Chie who was identical to his, as well as a Yosuke and the rest. The only difference being that instead of Yu, this IT team had Johnny Joestar and Gyro Zeppeli. An Italian and an American.
The second difference being that they were all incredibly stylish. And posed.
A third difference would be the fact that they were still arguing over the name of their team.
The other group was even more bizarre. Comprised of incredibly stylish and even muscular men who were more or less led by a man named Robert E.O Speedwagon (His Yosuke said something about copyright), who wanted to recruit them in a fight against a man known as DIO who had recently gained powers comparable to a god and caused all of this.
It still didn't really make sense to Yu, but he had seen a LOT of crazy things since coming to Inaba.
The other group was a bunch of teens (and a dog, as well as an android) from Tatsumi Port.
Luckily, they didn't pose.
Despite... some confusion (And a lost of screaming when every member of the team met their double) they quickly resolved to stick together and explore the dungeons in order to find and beat DIO along with his minions.
Now they were simply cooling their jets.
It was not as relaxing as one might believe.
"You've got to teach me some of your moves Lisa Lisa-Sensei!" The Chie of Johnny's group (Who distinguished herself from Yu's by wearing a yellow jacket with black stripes reminiscent to Bruce Lee's) cried out with clasped hands and stars in her eyes.
The beautiful woman wearing sunglasses and a red scarf simply sighed. "Are you sure you are prepared for this? I will not handle you with kid gloves."
"Hell yea-!" The Chie then gasped as Lisa Lisa thrust her right pinky into Chie's sternum and then drew back, causing Chie to clutch her stomach as she gasped in pain.
"There, that should adjust your breathing so that you may access Hamon."
"OH MY GOD!" Two Joseph Joestar's, one young with a green-stripped scarf and the other old wearing a hat, shouted while clutching their faces. "You mean you could've done that instead of making us go through that hell-like training!?"
"You wouldn't have learned anything." Was Lisa Lisa's simple reply.
"Bullshit!" The young Joseph shouted while pointing an accusing finger at Lisa Lisa, only to get slapped upside the head by the older one.
"Don't talk to our mother like that!"
"HOLY SHIT! Lisa Lisa is my mom!? But I... I...!"
"Hey, I wanna go next." Akihiko Sanada stated as he moved in front of Chie, who groaned as she got onto her feet. "I could always use some variety in my training regiment. And any and all new moves don't hurt."
"Give me a fuckin' break..." Shinjiro Aragaki muttered, getting a small but approving nod from Jotaro Kujo.
"Idiots. Both of them."
"Come on man, pass me some of that red thread." The alternate Kanji asked his double, deciding to differentiate himself by shaving his head and wearing sunglasses as well as several silver rings on his fingers.
To be fair, most of the group said he didn't have to go that far.
"I just wanted them to fix up my sweater..." Yukari Takeba muttered out while crossing her arms.
"I don't know. Healthy competition does usually lead to a better product." Noriaki Kakyoin replied, only for Yukari to shake her head.
"Not when they are ready to beat up one another at any second."
"Would thought you would enjoy having two guys fight over you Yuka-Tan." Junpei Iori stated cheekily only for the girl to glare at him.
"Oh shut up Stupei."
"You can't be serious." Giorno Giovanna, an actual mob boss, muttered out while Johnny's Naoto who was dressed in a white suit measured his height.
"We are." The white suit Naoto replied with a frown. "When this is all finished..."
"And if you are still with us, we'll have to bring you to the proper authorities." Yu's Naoto, dressed in the school uniform, finished for her double while searching Bruno Buccelati's pockets.
"Can't believe we have to work with a cop..." Bruno muttered out.
"Stop using your goddamn machine gun fingers!" Guido Mista shouted out in anger as he stood beside the Anti-Shadow Unit Aigis at the shooting booth. "This is supposed to be a fair fuckin' match!"
"And yet you have used your Persona every time you have fired." Aigis replied in a monotone. "Isn't that... I believe the phrase is 'the pot calling the kettle black'?"
Two creatures, small with the numbers 1 and 3 on them, peaked from under Guido's pistol. "She's onto us boss!"
"Aw shaddup!"
"Remember. To control fire, you must control the fire within you." Muhammad Avdol instructed two Yukiko's, one wearing jeans and red converse shoes while the other wore her usual attire, sat in front of him with their eyes closed and legs crossed. "Now try the exercise again..."
"Gah!" Johnny's Yosuke, wearing a short-sleeved green shirt and an orange belt across his abdomen, screamed as Yu's Yosuke tried to pry off a small black and white Boston Terrier from his face. "Get this little bastard off of me! He's chewing my hair!"
"I'm trying, but he's farting on my face! Gah this is sick!" Yu's Yosuke responded with a sickened grin before Iggy let out another puff of gas.
"Oi, can't you help them out? It's sad seeing this from the outside..." Jean Pierre Polnareff asked Koromaru, who simply let out a sad whine.
"I thank you again madam for this training!" Jonathan Joestar told Mitsuru Kirijo as their swords clashed against one another.
"It's my pleasure" Mitsuru replied, sporting a small smile. "However, you have much to learn!"
"Oh my! Jonathan has only fought with his fists since his youth!" Speedwagon shouted, his right hand raised in a fist as he stood in the sidelines. "So..."
"So compared to Mit-chan's skill which has been honed by years of training, he doesn't stand a bear of a chance!" Johnny's Teddie, who was in his human form, mimicked Speedwagon's stance. The man gave the bear a small glare for being interrupted.
"Oh my god, this is so good!" Yu's Chie shouted out as she sat at the table, slurping up a bowl of pasta as liquid pored out of her eyes like an open faucet. "It's like I'm crying!"
"You are, but I'm told that's normal for humans." Foo Fighters replied with a smile while slurping from her bottle of water.
"It's even making my fur fall out!" Yu's Teddie shouted out as he scratched his head, clumps of blue hair falling out before regrowing.
"T-Thank you for the lessons Trussardi-sensei!" Fuuka Yamagishi shouted with a bow behind the counter, while the Italian simply smiled.
"No trouble at all. You simply needed some lessons."
"Have to say, this is one weird family reunion!" Gyro Zeppeli shouted, while sitting in front of William Zeppeli and Caesar Zeppeli, who simply nodded.
"Indeed. It is interesting how the river of fate flows." William replied while sprinkling pepper on his sandwich, causing Gyro to grin.
"Ya know, you better make sure your hat never comes off." Will and Caesar looked at him with confused expressions. "Otherwise your stem might show!"
"Get it? Because of all the pepper you put on the stuff you eat. It's an original gag!" Gyro grinned, showing off his grills "Nyohoho~!"
Caesar sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose. "For the Zeppeli family to be reduced to this..."
"The hell is that supposed to mean!?"
"Man, Rohan's manga got better over time!" Josuke Higashikata said in awe as he sat on the floor flipping through an issue of Shonen Jump with Koichi Hirose and Okuyasu Nijimura sitting next to him.
"It's kinda hard to follow though..." Okuyasu complained while scratching his head. "Kinda makes my head ache."
"Then take a break."
"Yeah right!"
"You guys still read manga?" Ken Amada asked with a raised eyebrow. "Aren't you a bit too old for that?"
"Oh, Ken-Kun." Koichi held up his issue. "You want one?"
Ken looked away, cheeks flushed as he said "N-No!".
"Damn, this chick is unbelievable." Jolyne Cujoh said in awe as she elbowed Hermes Costello and held out her hand. Grumbling, the foreign girl put a wad of money in Jolyne's hand.
"Ya got lucky..."
In front of them, the leader of the Tatsumi Port teens, the SEES, Hamuko Arisato, lifted two dumbells which weighed 125 pounds each.
She had been doing this for Saborit twenty minutes straight.
"Man, this is fun. But maybe we can play a more interesting game!" Hamuko tossed away the weights. "How about poker? Maybe you'll win your money back..."
"So, you never watched Phantom of the Paradise? And your favorite band isn't Daft Punk?" Johnny's Rise, who now wore a pink blouse and a black skirt with golden pins of microphones and music notes, asked with a frown to her double. "That's so weird..."
"Well we're talking to ourselves. That's weirder than having different favorite movies and bands." Yu's Rise then frowned as she said, "Still can't believe you don't have Yu-Senpai on your world."
"Eh, with Gyro-Senpai I'll manage."
"Honestly, I'd prefer if we didn't have to go through all this crap. I'd rather be doing that stupid Crossdressing Competition than fighting gods and meeting alternates." Johnny Joestar replied as he pushed himself next to Yu with his wheelchair.
Yu was kinda weirded out by the fact that this American, who looked, acted, and treated people in ways Yu never allowed himself to was him. But after hearing his life story... It made things a bit more understandable.
"I suppose I would also rather be living a normal life right now." Yu agreed with a small nod. "But this strangeness does have its own fun in it."
Johnny simply shrugged, but then fidgeted. "Say..."
"Yes?"
"Your me in a sense right?"
"That's what Margaret-san, Theadore-san, and Elizabeth-san said."
"So..." Johnny fidgeted a bit. "Do you also... Well... Have it?"
"It?"
"You know! With the bugs and... The biting..."
... Was he... Asking about his fetish?
"No."
Johnny's face flushed, and he seemed to stammer a bit.
"Yu knew he had to say something to calm Johnny down. He needed to use that sixth sense that seemed to always let Yu know what to say. "Hey, don't worry. Yosuke has a thing for nurses..."
"S-shut up! Forget it! Forget I said anything!" Johnny rolled himself away. "T-tell anyone and I'll fuckin' kill you!"
"It would be basically suicide though..." Yu muttered before looking around the room again. Kanji and his double were now fighting, Chie's teeth were flying out as she ate some gelato, Pannacotta Fugo smashed Narancia Ghirga's face on a table for getting a question wrong, and Rohan Kishibe was sketching the Velvet Room residents as they posed.
And on top of that, Yu and his alternate's relationship has become more awkward than before.
It was going to be a long investigation...
To Never Be Continued
Note: So yeah, this was a thing I made up for April Fools on Spacebattles. It was long enough and legible, so I'm posting it here too.