WARNING! This chapter contains character death, angst and violence.

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Chapter 10: The Circle of Life

"Run!"

Cloud ran as fast as his legs carried him and Lea followed soon after he had cast a fire spell to divert their unwanted followers. Tifa's voice still rang in Cloud's ears as they ran into a narrow alleyway. He knew that he would have lots to explain once things settled but there was nothing he could do about it right now. All focus was in getting into the castle without being noticed by Xemnas so that they could get to Zack without risking hurting him. They had been like dears caught in the headlights when they first had heard Tifa call out for him but what had shocked Lea the most was when Sora recognized him as Axel. Fortunately they had both reacted quickly and here they were now, hoping that they had shaken off the heroes. It wasn't raining as much as before; it was drizzling.

A bolt cracked through the dark clouds building above them and the large skyscraper in front of them made a sound of white noise as its screens reacted to the electricity.

"I see you have finally found your way home, Lea."

Lea cursed under his breath as he stepped in front of Cloud and stared straight ahead before a portal of darkness opened and out stepped no one else but Saïx. He wore a grim look on his face as he waved off the portal behind him which disappeared in an instant. He kept his distance as he saw Lea's dangerous glare and he watched Cloud's stance change.

The large skyscraper behind him looked even more ominous as the large screens on it started to blare with white noise, occasionally showing half-clear images of what seemed to be memories. At some point Cloud recognized Radiant Garden and just as he thought that the screens might be showing his memories he saw the image of a young Lea.

"You're not betraying us again, are you?" His tone was nothing less than patronizing and Saïx matched Lea's glare with his own. Saïx was difficult to read, but regardless of his state of mind he was always lethal once he had set eyes on his prey. His fury burned in his cold eyes and his fists were clenched tightly, "You're not betraying me again, are you, Lea?"

Lea flashed him a cocky grin and shrugged, "I abandoned our plans a long time ago." Saïx's cold exterior broke for a split second but he quickly composed himself and he glared at Cloud quickly before turning his attention back to Lea.

"You think that he will remember you?" Saïx asked mockingly, "He's using you, just like that traitor Roxas did and at the end of the day there will be no one to remember your existence." Saïx knew that he was playing with one of Lea's greatest fears, he knew that it would probably feed the despise Lea felt for him but as it was now that was all he could do to stop Lea from doing something monumentally stupid.

"That doesn't matter anymore," Lea said, looking Saïx right in the eye as feelings of familiarity overwhelmed him while realizing that this man had been his best friend once upon a time. "This has got to stop. Isa."

It was petrifying to actually see Saïx's wall of self-control break at the sound of his own name and his face twisted in an expression of disgust, "Don't call me that." He hissed as he summoned his weapon, a big blue Claymore. "My name is Saïx. I am second in command in Organization XIII and you are a traitor!" Lea summoned his weapons and jumped out of Saïx's way just as he came flying against him, pushing Cloud back to give the blond a boost as he too jumped away.

As Cloud watched Lea throw his chakrams at Saïx he decided that he would stay out of this fight. A blind man could see that there was much more behind this than what met the eye and if he saw that Lea was in trouble then he would not hesitate to go in between but as it was now he had just been the last straw.

They were going all out; there was nothing to hold back on now as rage that had lain dormant for so long forced its way out. "Stop being so thickheaded! You're Isa! Not Xemnas' lapdog!" Lea said, trying to reach out to someone he knew was in there, behind those many layers his friend had formed as a Nobody.

"Shut up!"

They were out to hurt each other, of that there was no doubt. Frustration built in both of them whenever they missed and they threw taunting words at each other. Lea laughed mockingly each time he jumped up in the air to avoid Saïx's berserk-attacks.

"I'm up here, babe."

Saïx's golden eyes shone brightly in the moonlight that cracked through the dark clouds up in the sky. His cool exterior had completely cracked and the mad man hiding beneath it was nothing short of terrifying. His eyes were filled with emotions he couldn't hold back anymore, "Shut up, Lea!" He yelled as he jumped up in the air, lifting his Claymore over his head almost effortlessly and he swung it at Lea without even thinking about the damage he could cause with just one strike.

"You abandoned me!"

Lea stopped one of the attacks with his chakrams, catching a glimpse of Saïx's mad eyes and he gritted his teeth.

"I followed you here, didn't I?"

What had their plan been anyway? The memories of it were painstakingly clear and right now there was nothing in his mind strong enough to keep them from echoing in his head and for each time they were given attention they raised in volume. It had all started as innocent child's play. They wanted to govern Radiant Garden, the world they once called home. As kids they believed in almost every rumor that went around town and the word on the street at that time had been about Ansem's research and world-travels. Being nothing but an ordinary kid didn't really cut it once they heard about the rumors that the only one who could do this was Ansem, King of their world, thus the plan to govern Radiant Garden. They would be forever remembered as governors of the Kingdom of Light, not only in their world but in other worlds as well.

Lea and Isa tried to get into the castle countless of times but they were always stopped by the guards. For a period of time their plan was all they could think of but then something happened that made life excruciatingly real.

One night there were meteor falls, it was a night of parades and Lea and Isa had been at the marketplace when they saw this strange occurrence and the wished upon it as it disappeared. That had been their last day as kids because when they went back home they were met by nothing but ruble and burning remains of what once used to be a small little village outside of Radiant Gardens center.

In the blink of an eye they had become orphans. Life was no longer what it had been and within days of their loss they heard of rumors again. Ansem had found new material that would facilitate his journeys right where the meteor had fallen. This rumor was verified when Lea and Isa saw men in the uniforms of the royal guards walk around the remains of their home, collecting strange materials.

Their hatred consumed them by each passing day and the plan to rule Radiant Garden faded and was replaced with a much darker plan. They were going to avenge their families and make Ansem pay for his indifference to those who had lost their home and loved ones.

They had just recently turned eighteen and were celebrating at a pub when they met one of Ansem's apprentices. The man had a strange ability to draw out secrets right out of them and before they knew it they had told the man about the events they had lived in their young lives. They talked for hours and Isa had been fascinated by the man's way of thinking and once the man was gone Isa told Lea about their new plan to avenge their families.

On the same day that Radiant Garden was destroyed and renamed to Hollow Bastion they gave into darkness and became Nobodies. The first world they got to see was Twilight Town and Lea – no, Axel – had been mesmerized by the beauty of the picturesque city only to learn that they couldn't feel such things. Everything he was now was simply an echo of his whole self. He was merely imitating Lea. Axel had no right to be, as a being shunned by Light and Darkness he had no right to exist.

When he tried to mourn the loss of himself he realized that he couldn't and he looked over at Isa thinking that he would be the reminder of the person he used to be and with Isa there Lea would never die.

They had barely been in the Organization for a day when the two friends decided to take control of it. With the power of the Organization they would avenge their families and rise above Ansem as rulers of Kingdom Hearts. But as time went by, as life as a Nobody changed, Axel gave up on those plans and he had tried to give his non-existence another meaning.

Saïx winced as he landed back on the ground and he staggered slightly as he watched Lea land on his feet as well.

"Cloud!"

Lea couldn't turn around to see who that voice belonged to but the amount of footsteps and the desperate voice of a woman was enough for him to realize that the heroes were onto them. Cloud had barely turned around to face his friends when high flames rose up from the ground, creating a large circle around Saïx, Lea and Cloud.

"You've always been weak," Saïx spat, "Your father is turning in his grave out of shame!" Lea's chakram swooshed right by Saïx's face, leaving a small cut on his cheek as the chakram returned.

"I won't miss next time."

"What did you win on siding with the brat?" Saïx asked mockingly, "We had Kingdom Hearts! Our dream was within our grasp and you threw all that away for nothing!" Saïx jumped away just in time to dodge Lea's powerful Firaga-spell. "The knowledge of the worlds all gone for nothing."

Lea glared at him dangerously and then he made his chakrams disappear. Saïx was blinded with his own lies and fears. He claimed to want his heart back but in truth he was still too weak to deal with the feelings he had suppressed when they had lost everything they had defined themselves by, the reason they had turned into Nobodies was because they had realized that it would be easier to go forward with their plan if they felt nothing.

The Isa he knew had slowly disappeared and he had been replaced with a cold, devious man who still couldn't look back at his past in fear of having to feel again. Lea was furious and he walked up to Saïx, each step more determined than the other. Saïx stared at him, confused as to what to do. What the hell was Lea doing?

In the blink of an eye Lea disappeared and reappeared right in front of Saïx, taking him by the collar of his coat forcefully as he stared right at him. There was a different kind of anger written over Lea's face.

It was…disappointment.

"You were my brother, you idiot!" He yelled, shaking Saïx violently as he did, "What the hell is the knowledge of the worlds if you're alone, huh? You get to Kingdom Hearts and then what? I followed you here because you were all I had! I killed for you, thinking that once we had Kingdom Hearts we could go back to normal, that maybe all of this was a long and horrid nightmare but that I'd wake up – and we'd go to the marketplace…get some ice-cream and mock the guards." Lea was shaking with fury, looking Saïx dead in the eye. He let go of the coat with one hand only to punch Saïx in the face. "You abandoned me!" He yelled as Saïx looked back at him with a shocked expression, feeling the bruise bloom at the side of his mouth.

"And you know what? You're right. You are Saïx because Isa would never do what you're doing. He wouldn't be so scared of everything – he would never run away from his own feelings the way you're doing now. You killed my brother and for that I hate you."

Saïx took a swing at Lea, making him take a few steps back as he slid his hand under his nose only to see that he was bleeding. What first had started out like a fight with tools of darkness became a hand-on-hand brawl and neither of them were pulling on the punches.

As Saïx jumped back for a brief pause he spat to get the foreign coppery taste out of his mouth. It seemed like he caught himself with this inexcusable human behavior and he was frightened. He threw blocks of ice at Lea, three-four at a time and while Lea did his best to dodge them Saïx summoned his weapon again. Lea instinctively summoned his chakrams to defend himself against a strike that would have been lethal had it hit him.

The screens were blaring more violently now and they were showing fragments of thousands and thousands of memories crashing into each other as they fought. Sometimes they could hear faint voices but most of it was drowned in the insisting white noise.

They were in their own world now; they were beyond words and reason. Cloud was vaguely aware of his friends behind the flames. They were just as silent as he was, just as awestruck by the scene unfolding before them. At one point Sora had tried to interfere by casting ice-spells at Lea's surrounding flames but Cloud had countered with basic fire-spells of his own. He understood the young Keyblade-wielder's need to interfere, he wasn't one to stand on the sidelines when two people were hurting each other but as Cloud had realized earlier; this was something that stretched beyond their understanding. It was something only the two involved could solve. He was keeping a close eye on the fight. Lea was getting badly beaten and Cloud would lie if he said that he didn't feel the urge to intervene when suddenly the two touched ground again.

Saïx staggered, trying to stand on his feet. His breathing was slightly more labored than Lea's and he tried to run up to Lea when his legs folded underneath him and he fell to the ground.

"Get up!" Lea yelled, his chakrams catching fire as he readied them for another attack. Saïx moved slightly but remained on the ground, pained noises escaping him every once in a while. "GET UP!" Lea demanded. The time it took for Saïx to react gave Lea time to cool down ever so slightly and for a moment he looked horrified. He dropped his chakrams that vanished right before they hit ground as their master hurried over to Saïx and cradled him up in his arms as he made a quick estimate of Saïx's wounds.

He had taken it too far, he realized a little too late.

Lea didn't know what to do and for the first time in a long time he looked and felt helpless.

"Wipe that look off your face," Saïx said with a pained expression, each movement reminding him of exactly how badly beaten he was, "Regret doesn't suit you." Lea managed a halfhearted grin but his emerald-green eyes were all watery. Saïx raised his hand and gave Lea's face a weak push.

"Cheap shot," Lea tried to say accusingly but it only came out as pitiful and Saïx sighed away another wince as Lea looked away. This was damage beyond any Curaga-spell and Lea was at loss. All he could do was to be here and hope that Saïx's will to live was greater and stronger than the wounds that threatened to take him away.

"You'll never guess who I ran into today." He said and Saïx gave him a glare of disbelief as another breath was caught in his throat and Lea smiled weakly, "An old friend of mine. He's a real pain in the neck but I think you'd like him. Took me this long to realize how much I missed him."

Saïx suddenly began to shine and break into small orbs of light and he seemed taken aback by the light surrounding him as he looked up at Lea. Lea tried not to think of what this meant but Cloud's words earlier about the Lifestream did come to mind and he tried to find comfort in the blond man's belief that there would be a chance of redemption, even for people like himself and Saïx.

"Bet you haven't heard the rumor circulating downtown," Lea said around a sob as his grip around Saïx tightened. Saïx cracked a smile at the familiarity of that line he had heard so many times before and it was kind of funny that it would take him this long to actually understand how much he missed it. "Is it good?" He asked and Lea nodded.

"Ice-cream for your gossip." He said and they both chuckled slightly and Lea had to look away for a brief moment to be able to continue.

"We'll get another chance to make things right." Lea swallowed a strange, forming lump in his throat and continued, "I'm not done with you yet so you better wait for me. And I'm gonna hold you onto that ice-cream…Isa."

Saïx smiled tiredly, "I'm counting on it, Lea."

Light absorbed him and suddenly there were only orbs left. They lifted and disappeared into the dark sky, looking so very out of place in the grim World That Never Was. Lea sat still, holding his arms like Isa was still there and the ache he felt in his chest was something he hadn't felt since that time he watched Roxas disappear.

As the rain continued to fall he tried to convince himself that it was raindrops and not tears that fell down his bruised face.

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Cloud didn't say anything. Words were useless now. He knew from own experience that words might only make it worse. The last thing he did before running over to Lea was to give his friends an apologetic look. They couldn't understand. He had come to terms with that now. He could only hope that he would survive to tell the tale with all the details they needed to one day maybe understand. Right now, Cloud had no clue as to where the hell they were only that they still were in The World that Never Was.

After a few moments, Lea got up onto his feet and took a deep breath. Cloud followed him with his eyes before he got up as well. "You okay?"

"I'll get there." Lea said as he looked up at the sky, "He'll be reborn, right? Circle of life and all, right?" He let out a shaky sigh as he kept his eyes closed while turned to the sky. Cloud put his hand reassuringly on his shoulder as he passed him by, "Yeah."

If there had been a doubt in Lea's mind about not being a Nobody, they were all washed away by the uproar of feelings he had gone through this day and seeing Saïx's shell crumble before him and reveal his true colors had brought back so many memories he had vaguely been aware of but now he was reminded of his origins, his home, his family and it was overwhelming. Having a focus did help and he knew that there was a lot more ahead of them. He wasn't going to cave in now. Not when they had managed to get this far. They had to get to the castle before the heroes did and as he gave his surroundings a proper look, he realized that they were close.

The two walked out of the alleyway and down the main street until the pavement turned into white crystal, leading all the way to what now were ruins of a once proud and grand castle. Lea wasn't sure how long it had been since he had walked this exact road and he couldn't say that he was thrilled to be here again. The memories of this place were not pleasant but he tried to channel all those feelings into readying himself for whatever lay ahead. He was still badly messed up after the fight and as he started to feel the pain of all the bruises he also felt a sudden relief. He turned around just in time to see Cloud finish a Cura-spell and Lea managed a small smile before turning around to watch ahead.

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