In Chapter 9, Leena met the Sullivan family and quickly won them over with her wit and charm and they agree to adopt her, much to Leena's delight...
Sure enough it took several weeks for the "adoption" process to run it's due course. During that time, Paul and Veronica paid very frequent visits to me. I honestly welcomed those visits. I truly felt lonely in the orphanage, much as I do now. Pretending to be a child all day on a daily basis was emotionally and psychologically draining. "Esther" wasn't me, she never WAS me, I'm a fucking ADULT for Christ's sake! I felt no guilt for deceiving this American couple, I knew it was what I had to do. I could never see any other options.
January turned into February and the Russian winter continued it's unrelenting assault. It was February the 7th, 2009, a Monday. The day was dreary and overcast. A light snow fell onto the lawn as I stared out the window in the playroom. I spent most of the day in here watching the children when I wasn't in class, yearning for one of my own. Sometimes I played with them, even here at the orphanage I am in now I play with the children, maybe I'm just "practicing" at being "mommy". I always would pretend mentally that I was their mother. The loneliness was eating away at me and I could not wait to leave. My calls to Syrah were the only real thing I had to look forward to. She was needless to say deeply concerned about me finding out that I had found the Sullivans to adopt me. She warned me time and time again to practice self-control. Yeah, easier said than done!
This dreary Monday would be my day though. It was one in the afternoon and I had just finished lunch and a reading class and had finished going about the task of reapplying some of my makeup. I still had plenty left, I made sure of that! Pretty young Olishka entered the playroom and beckoned me over with her finger. She put her hands on my cheeks and smiled at me. "Well dearest, it looks like it's official today, everything is wrapped up with your new mommy and daddy and they can take you home today!" she said excited. She was genuinly glad for me. FINALLY the time had come! I smiled a huge grin and hugged the young woman. "Is this for real?" I said sweetly. She held my head to her torso. "Yes!" she replied. "Now go upstairs and pack everything because your parents will be here any minute now" she told me. "Seriously, they're coming!" I exclaimed. She nodded with a smile. Feigning childhood excitement I ran upstairs screeching in joy. Yes, sure I WAS genuinly happy but I still had to put on the act!
I shared a very large room with at least 15 other girls. We all had our own beds. I kept all my dressed, prosthetics, etc. all packed up in my suitcase so there really was no need to pack anything. I put on my gray overcoat in anticipation of being able to leave. My heart was elated with joy and excitement! Finally a chance at a man, I pleaded that this one would be the one I was searching for. A man who would be like my real father was to me! If my sister wouldn't be my lover then this would be my ticket. I took one last look out the cold window and looked out at the cloud-covered sky. America would be a new place for me and I would be even farther away from my sister who I missed beyond comprehension.
"ESTHER!" I heard Olishka shout. "Mommy and daddy are here for you, are you ready or do you need more time?" she shouted. "I'm coming!" I shouted excitedly. "Okay Leena" I told myself. "Just play the part, you know what to do and how to do it. They don't know your 32, just play the cards right." I tried to keep myself in check. I took a deep breath and with my suitcases in tow I rushed through the oak-panelled hallway and down the elegant wood staircase where Veronica and that gorgeous piece of glorious man meat Paul were waiting for me, smiling briskly. They had been in Russia all these weeks and I had last seen them two days ago. An actual tear came down my face. I was so happy that this moment had come.
"Oh mommy and daddy!" I exclaimed as I hurried down the stairs in my long overcoat. I put down my suitcases and they got on their knees to embrace me. "How's our special little girl?" Paul asked. "I couldn't be more happy" I told him with all honesty. Veronica laughed in joy. "Today's the big day" she said excited. "Are you ready to start your new life, Esther Sullivan?" she asked. I giggled when she said this, "It's Leena Klammer" I thought to myself but I just kept on smiling and nodded rapidly.
Olishka stood beside us smiling. I honestly liked this woman. "I'll miss you!" I told her. She came over and hugged me. "You can always call me dear" she said in English. "You take care of yourself child. I'm so sorry you went through so much, I really knew that this is a beautiful new beginning for you" she told me. I smiled and bowed my knees. Paul and Veronica adored this! "Olishka, we want to thank you for everything" Veronica said. "Absolutely, working with you and your staff has been such a pleasure" Paul added. They shook hands with her. "Keep in touch and let us know how everything is going" she said. "I wish you three the best in life." she added. "Ready?" Veronica asked. "Yes mommy" I said gently. "Let's get to the airport then. Got your passport and everything?" Paul asked. I pulled them out of my coat pocket. Veronica took them and placed them into her purse. We said our goodbyes one last time to Olishka who waved at us as we exited the orphanage into the cold afternoon weather. I waved back at her and smiled. "Your playing it well Leena, just keep take it easy" I told myself. A taxi was waiting out front. The very mode of transportation that brought me here would now spirit me away.
"Rebecca is going to adore you!" Veronica went on. She showed me a picture of her a few times before. She was 16 with long blonde hair. A very pretty young woman. Still, I wished they again had a younger child that I could possibly mother but I was content with my current situation, hell I was MORE than content I was elated! Paul took my luggage and placed it in the backseat and we climbed in. A warm blast of air heated the cabin. I sat in the middle between my new "parents". Everything was now set and in order. Paul took out a Russian dictionary and pieced together the phrase to ask the man to go to the airport. The older man in the front seat nodded and we were on our way. I looked out the back window as a smiling Olishka closed the door. Veronica and Paul held my hands and we shared in each other's company. They were truly bursting with happiness and elation. They seemed so proud and happy to have me in their lives. A "little girl" they could call their own. If only they knew, if only they knew!
I gazed at the architecture and people-watched as we drove through the streets of Moscow. Russia was poorer than Estonia but the country wasn't really too much different at least from what I could tell. Our journey took us about half an hour but eventually we arrived at the airport. Paul paid the man however many Rubles the ride had cost and we made our way out of the back seat. "Sorry if you were squished up back there" Paul joked carrying my luggage. "I'll carry all this for you dear" he told me. "Thank you daddy!" I told him sweetly. We walked into the terminal. Paul already had the tickets. "I just LOVE your accent" Veronica told me with an admiring grin. I closed my eyes and grinned. Hell, I thought Americans have an accent. The airport was abuzz with activity as we made our way to security. Of course with lines it probably took us a good 45 minutes before we even reached them. My mind was almost numb. I kept wondering if this was all a huge dream. It so unbelievable that I was boarding a plane to a strange land to start fresh, far away from that horrid Saarne Institute. Veronica placed her and her husband's luggage on the conveyer and Paul placed mine behind hers. "My fucking bag better not get lost" I thought to myself. I had to much shit in there! Then again as a woman I just don't travel light I suppose! The bags were scanned and handed back to us. I was glad they were not manually searched or else such incriminating evidence as my Bible and make-up kit may be exposed to Paul and Veronica. Our passports and paperwork were checked and re-checked. This made me tense as of course mine was a fake but everything went through free and clear.
A little girl of about 7 was standing right in front of Paul. She noticed me and smiled. I smiled back and tried to pretend I didn't really notice her. Her mother told her to stay close in Russian. That was the only language that filled the terminal. People were running to and fro. I admit that I was nervous. "You okay sweetie pie?" Veronica asked. "I'm a little nervous" I told her truthfully. "Once we get to Maine you'll fit right in." she assured me. We headed down the loading ramp onto our flight. Several businessmen ran past us in a hurry. One of them bumped up into me but Paul and Veronica didn't notice. The man didn't even stop to apologize. "Stupid asshole" I thought to myself. Paul and Veronica put their arms around my shoulder and we boarded the plane. It was an American Airways flight. "We'll be in America by tonight" Paul told me. "Then you can meet your new sister". I smiled and clasped my hands together, looking up into his smiling eyes. "She must be the best!" I told him. "She's really looking forward to meeting you" he told me. "She's going to fall in love with you!" Veronica said sweetly. "Huh, if only Syrah would fall in love with me" I thought to myself humorously.
We headed to our seats. Most of the passengers seemed to be people on business dressed smartly in their suits and dresses. Some seemed to be tourists and most were American, after all that was where we were heading. Paul loaded our luggage into the overhead compartment. I had a window seat and Veronica sat next to me. "Fuck, I want PAUL next to me" I thought. "All passengers please buckle your seat belts. We will be departing in five minutes." a soft female voice announced over the intercom in both English and then in Russian. Veronica fastened me in which kind of offended me. I shook it off. I couldn't allow any negative feeling to get in my way. Veronica leaned over and gave me a kiss on the head. I returned the kiss to my new "mother" and stared out the window as the plane began to taxi down the runway. We slowly lifted off the ground. I looked out the window as the land below became smaller and smaller. Within a few minutes, everything was covered in clouds. My heart sank for Syrah. The thought crept into my head if I would ever even see her again. Before meeting the Sullivans I never had even heard of the State of Maine. A very small part of me wished I had stayed with her but I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing for me. I knew I could always call her once I arrived in America.
"Mommy and daddy? If you don't mind I'm going to go to sleep." I told them. "That's fine dear" Paul said. "We'll wake you up when we arrive" Veronica told me. "I know this is a big step for you and a huge adjustment" she went on. "We love you" she added. "That's right" Paul nodded. "I love you too mommy and daddy" I said warmly. With a smile I placed my head on Veronica's arm and took her hand in mine. I pretended she was Syrah as I closed my eyes. Veronica was still a somewhat strange woman to me. I had to adjust to them both as well as Rebecca. I heard the soft sounds of the aircraft's engines as Paul and Veronica talked very softly amongst themselves so as to let me sleep. Just like I did on the train to Russia I fell asleep on board the plane. This plane that was flying me to my destiny, flying me farther and farther away from the awful mental hospital, flying me ever so hopefully to the very fulfillment of all my dreams and wishes. I drifted off to dream land secure in the hope that life would get better and better for me. Sleep quickly overcame me...
"Wake up, honeybun, wake up" Veronica said gently, shaking me awake. "Syrah!" I said very softly aloud. I must have been dreaming of her. I missed my flesh and blood so much but need I say that again? Veronica didn't notice what I said as she was saying something to Paul. She turned back to me. "We're in Maine" she said. "We're on the ground now." I realized what was going on and yawned. "What time is it mommy?" I asked. "About 11 at night" she said. I looked out the window to the bright lights of the aircraft terminal. Here I was in America now. "Where in Maine are we?" I asked childishly. "Portland, dear" Paul said. "But we live in Cape Elizabeth, about 5 or 6 miles from Portland. It's a little seaside town, kind of rural. We have our farmhouse there" Veronica told me. "Do you farm?" I asked. Last thing I wanted was to be scooping up horse shit at five in the morning then I would murder them by default! "Um, no, we have alot of land but no crops or anything like that" she explained. That was much to my relief. The captain's voice sounded over the intercom and instructed us that we could now disembark from our flight. "Well, let's hit the trail." Paul said slapping his hands against his knees. He stood up and unloaded our luggage from the overhead. Veronica stood up and I followed suite. The voices of the passengers filled the cabin as everybody hurried to disembark and go about their own business. I'm sure many of these people wanted to get home to their own families.
Veronica took me by the hand as we exited the corridor leading to the terminal. Once again we had to go through the process of baggage checks and passport/paperwork examination but once again my cover wasn't blown in anyway that could be incriminating and within hour an hour or so we were able to make our way out of the terminal. It was nowhere near the size of the one in Moscow and certainly was nowhere near as busy. "Leena Klammer is in America" I thought to myself. Yes I may have been far, far removed from my dearest Syrah but better this than sitting in an orphanage (oh wait, I'm writing in one right now, FUCK!) Well, I know I'll find yet another family yet again but I'll stick to what I was saying.
Veronica and Paul never lost their smiles as we entered the cold Maine night. It was just as cold as Russia or Estonia during the Winter months. I walked between them out into the parking lot. We walked over to a red Hummer. "My goodness, this is your vehicle. WOW!" I exclaimed in false surprise. "Yes, but I wish Paul would have bought something that actually saved gas" Veronica joked. He laughed it off as he unlocked the doors and loaded up our luggage. I climbed into the backseat and buckled in. Paul and Veronica entered. "I just hope the battery isn't dead" he said. "It's been parked here for how many weeks" he went on to say. He put the key in the ignition and sure enough it started up. "BOO YAH!" he exclaimed laughing. Veronica looked back at me as I giggled. The roar of the heater filled the vehicle. Paul looked behind him as he backed out.
"I can't wait to meet Rebecca" I said excited. "I'm going to call her right now" Veronica told me. She pulled out her iPhone. "Rebecca, honey, yeah, we're home, yep, yes, Esther's right here with us." Veronica covered the phone and turned back to me. "She just can't wait to meet you!" she whispered. I smiled. I tightened the little ribbons in my hair and made sure I looked my best. "We'll be home in like 20 or 25 minutes okay? I love you too Rebecca. Bye bye!" Veronica hung up. "Is she excited?" Paul asked. "She's ecstatic" Veronica went on. "Your big sister is waiting for you!" Veronica told me. I grinned ear to ear. I was looking forward to meeting her, maybe she would be like my sister and didn't know. I was still playing them all for fools. My cute dresses and my little girl demeanor, all of it, all of it just a sham. I was so proud of myself at how well I was playing my cards. We drove out of the parking lot and through the relatively small city of Portland, Maine and were soon out in the rural and rustic scenery of coastal Maine which even at nighttime I found to be quite beautiful. "It's very pretty here in Maine" I said innocently. Veronica looked back and me and nodded. "Your going to love your new home" Paul added. "I can only bet" I said.
My heart was pounding. I bit my lower lip in nervous anticipation. After the fairly short drive we pulled up a long pavel driveway, maybe 40 meters in length. It was lined on either side by a wooden picket fence. There were large, open fields in every direction. I could even see the ocean out in the distance. We pulled up to a large stone house. It looked like it was built maybe 200 years ago and was very charming. I was glad I was being adopted by a family of means. We pulled up and Paul stopped the engine. "Your home honey!" Veronica said excited holding closed her fists to her chin in excitement. I climbed out of the back seat as Paul and Veronica carried all of our luggage to the front door. This house looked like it had at least 10 rooms or more. "Do you like your new home?" Paul asked sweetly. "It's perfect! It's so pretty!" I told him. I jumped up and down in child-like excitement. They laughed at my display and we made our way to the front door. Paul unlocked it and we entered into a large living room. Despite the house being an old stone home it was very modern. Very tastefully furnished and very charming. Family photos lines the walls, a large entertainment system stood on one side and a wrap-around couch sat in the center. On it sat their daughter who turned around startled by our rather quiet entrance. She was surprised as she hadn't seen them in weeks. She was dressed in pyjamas as if getting ready for bed
"MOM! DAD!" she shouted running over and warmly embracing the two of them, her long blonde hair rustling behind her. They were obviously a very tight knit family. "Oh, we missed you so much baby!" Paul told them. "Thanks for taking care of the house!" he added. Veronica hugged her tightly. "Ohhhhh, sweetheart. It's so nice to see you." she told her longingly. It reminded me a bit of my reunion between Syrah and I, although that if course was MUCH more emotionally charged. I braced myself. "Look who we brought home" Paul told her. The young girl's face beamed with absolute joy and excitement as I bowed my knees and presented myself to her. "Hello Rebecca, my name is Esther!". She became teary eyed! "You didn't tell me she was so CUTE!" she screeched bending over and hugging me to the point I felt she would crush my ribcage. "It's SO SO SO SO SO nice to meet you!" she told me. "I can't believe it, I have a SISTER NOW!" she exclaimed looking over in joy at her parents. "It's very, very nice to meet you" I told her, "I am nine years old and from Estonia" I told her in my sweetest of voices. "You and I, I can tell right now, are like going to be the best of friends" Rebecca told me. She righted herself back up. She hugged both of her parents once more. "Thank you guys SO much for bringing her home!" she said virtually crying now.
She came back over to me and laughed in joy. She picked me up and swung me around in her arms. I laughed in excitement. She seemed like a really nice young woman, even though at the time I was twice her age, imagine that! "Well you two are going to get along just fine" Veronica said. Rebecca put me down. I couldn't get over how attractive she was. I thought Syrah was still more beautiful than Rebecca or her mother but they were close seconds! I thought all three of them were a nice catch! "Big sister, I've heard SO much about you" I told her. "You sound SO CUTE! I LOVE your voice!" Rebecca beamed. "Mommy said the same thing!" I explained to her. "Welcome to your new home Esther!" Paul and Veronica put their arms around each other as Rebecca and I got acquainted. All three of them were in tears. I just continued playing the part of knew how to play so well...that of sweet, innocent little Esther. The little orphan abandoned by her mother. Rebecca took me by the hand and virtually dragged me over to the leather sofa to talk with me.
"Rebecca, your mother and I are going to go to bed. We've had a long flight and everything. I'll let you two talk. We'll see you girls in the morning." Paul said softly. "Have a nice night girls. I'll give you a grand tour of the property and everything tomorrow. Do you want to see your room now Esther or would you girls like to maybe sleep down here?" I was about to answer when Rebecca interrupted. "We'll sleep down here!" she said excitedly. She ran over to her parents again and hugged them goodnight and gave them a kiss. I admired how close this family was to each other and how I wanted the same all to myself. Right now I could see myself killing Veronica and completely taking her pride and perch as matriarch of the Sullivan household. Now was not the time for such thoughts, though. Now was the time to remain calm and try my very best to get acquainted to my new, yet happy environment. I looked around the room and absorbed the atmosphere of my new home. I turned to my left only to be met nose to nose by Rebecca which gave me a slight start only to be met by the tightest of embraces. "Good night Esther, welcome home" said Paul. "Goodnight mommy and daddy" I said softly hoping their daughter didn't crush my ribcage!
"I NEVER had a sibling!" she said bursting with enthusiasm. I could only return the hug to a girl I just wish was ten or twelve years younger. "I heard that you've been through so much, why on Earth would your mommy abandon you?" she asked. I shurgged. "She just had her own problems, I do have another sister though in Estonia and I get to talk to her but I'm so very pleased to have a big sister like you Rebecca, I just met you but I feel we'll get really close." I told her innocently. She was beyond ecstatic about my arrival and I guess I couldn't blame her but just like her parents she was a pawn to me, if I may be so bold as to use that term. It's not that I hated this young girl or anything but that was simply the way I felt. I hope she wouldn't stand in my way as to the very reason i was in that home in the first place - her father! HE was the one whose heart I hoped to win over and all I could do now was to keep pretending. I was an actress on the grand stage of life, charming and deceiving and even killing when I had to.
"I know we're going to be best friends." She took a little wrapped gift box that was sitting next to her and handed it to me with the broadest of smiles. "Here - I bought this JUST for you!" she quipped. I smiled and pretended to become giddy with excitement. "OOHH! FOR ME!" I shouted. I took off the wrapping paper to reveal a small wooden box. I gently opened it at it's hinges to reveal a small golden heart shaped locket on a gold chain. "It's real gold" Rebecca said. "I love it!" I told her. Once again I embraced her. "I wish I had a gift for you" I lied to her. "You ARE the gift" she told me smiling. "How was your trip from Russia?" she asked. "Okay, I'm kinda glad to be out of the orphanage now and to have you and mommy and daddy with me" I replied. "You can bet it was so lonely there." I added shyly. "Didn't you play with the other kids?" Rebecca asked. "Sometimes but I don't know, I just felt lonely because mommy left me there." Oh, what a beautiful liar I was! "Do you want to see a picture of my sister and me?" I asked. Rebecca nodded, "I'd love to". I walked over to where Paul and Veronica had left my suitcases and got on my knees. I opened one of them up and pulled out my Bible, being ever careful she didn't notice the pictures of the men I kept inside as she sat there watching me, a grin of unbrideled joy and contentment running from ear to ear.
I pulled out the photo of my sister and I, hugging and smiling at the camera. I longed for Syrah again and I'd knew I would have to give her a call tomorrow so she wouldn't be anxious. I walked over and handed her the photo. Syrah looks very young for her age, even though she is 38 she literally looks to be about 24 or 25 as she takes very good care of herself. Rebecca smiled and laughed slightly. "She kind of looks like you - what's her name?" she asked. "Syrah" I went on. "She's 25 and lives in Estonia" I said weaving yet another lie into this tapestry of dialogue. "She looks like a really wonderul person" Rebecca complimented. "Oh, she is but she's is way too poor to take care of me" I told her, yet again adding another lie to the pile. As I've already written, thanks to our father's inheritance, she was very well off. Did it matter though? Rebecca was no mind reader. She nodded understandably. "Like I said I still talk to her" I told her. I changed the subject as talking about Syrah at this time made me depressed. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked sheepishly. She smiled. "Yes, his name is Derick, we go to school together and plays football on our school team." she explained. As usual, a charming smile was my response to hers. How my smile and my charm ALWAYS won people over - young and old alike. It didn't bother me for a split second that I was deceiving this 16 year old teeny bopper. "Who knows?" I thought to myself. "Maybe I can strike up some sort of friendship with this Barbie doll" I told myself mentally. Was I trying to substitute her for my sister? NO! Nobody was a substitute for Syrah, no matter how stern and overprotective my sister seemed at times.
"Wait here" Rebecca said quietly. She went off to the back to where the kitchen was and within a few moments returned with some soda and cookies. "Finally, something to fucking eat" I thought. "Thank you kindly" I told her. "Oh...my...gosh, again I LOVE your voice" she complimented in excitement. "God, who the fuck cares what I sound like?" I thought but I guess I could appreciate the compliment. I giggled. "I think YOU have an accent" I told her. I did think Americans sounded weird, just the cultural divide I suppose. I'm going to have to get some more paper soon if I'm to keep writing! I noticed Rebecca's breasts. Nice and firm. "Wouldn't mind using those as a pillow" I thought. I almost laughed out loud but averted my gaze. "Um, if I can ask this" Rebecca went on. "Um, in your photo of you and your sister, um, do you dress like that all the time?" she asked cautiously. I was used to people staring and commenting on my ridiculously outdated outfits. "Well, yes, that's just the way we dress in my country" I told her. "Hahaha" she laughed. "Guess it's no skinny jeans for you then?". I smiled and shared another laugh with her while sipping my soda. "Nope and not a straight jacet, either" I thought to myself. I wondered what Dr. Varava was doing at that very instant. I'm sure he was having his share of sleepless nights knowing I was on the lose. I knew there was no fucking way in hell I would ever be found here and thinking about that at that moment brought a sense of profound peace to my heart and soul.
"What kind of stuff do you do around here?" I asked quizzically. "Just your typical high schooler stuff I suppose, I play piano, violin, read alot, study, make out with my boyfriend" she said comically. I laughed. "I play piano too" I told her. Father taught me how to play and I was a natural. "Oh, is that right sweetie? Well then I'll have to challenge you to a play-off tomorrow" she joked, hugging me tightly once again. "Now how the fuck can I play mommy to a 16 year old girl?" I thought to myself. I felt like half of my plan had already been pissed away. I wanted a younger little girl whom I could play that role to because after all I had always wanted a child of my own. Still, if I could just win over Paul, SOMEHOW and SOME WAY, which I still didn't know how I was going to do, then I would feel that all the trouble I had gone through would be well worth the effort. "Big sister" I said softly and sweetly. She gushed and blushed slighly when I said this. She was swooning almost. "I'm tired and want to go to sleep, can we talk lots and lots in the morning?" I asked quietly. "I'll bet your beat sis" she said. "My gosh I can't believe I have somebody I can call sister now" she said. Her comments were almost flattering to me. "I'm glad to have a new big sister" I replied. "It's so nice to be here in America now and to start over again" I added. Rebecca fetched a blanket from a cabinet and she turned off all of the lights. "Your not afraid of the dark, are you? Do you want me to keep a light on?" she asked. I shook me head, "Nope, I'm fine" I responded. "Sounds like you've been through a terrible lot for being just nine years old but you know what Esther, you will be happy here." she said in a reassuring and soothing tone. By this time I had already taken off my overcoat. "I'd love that" I said. "I'm going to change into my nightgown" I told her.
"The bathroom is upstairs and to the right, first door" she answered. I smiled and retrieved my long white nightgown from my suitcase. I also discreetly took my makeup kit and hid it underneath the gown. She grabbed the back of the couch and turned to watch me as I frolicked up the open staircase. I was sure Paul and Veronica were lying joyfully content with their new "daughter". Alas, it was only an escaped mental patient living under their roof now. A killer with a violent tempter and equally violent past. I just hopes that violence didn't have to extend and further. I entered the large bathroom and was stunned. Marble inlays, a jacuzzi! I smiled and took off the cotton disaster I was wearing, kicked off my shoes and pulled down my tights. Now I was standing in the mirror in only my underwear and my chest wrapped in guaze. I took off the guaze and carefully re-wrapped my torso, making sure my A-cups stayed as compressed as possible. I took the ribbons out of my hair and let my long hair fall past my shoulders. I took the next few minutes applying some powder and make-up to my face. The make-up ritual went on several times a day. I slid on the comfortable nightgown and bundled my clothing and shoes,etc. into a ball and with a sign of contentment I headed back downstairs where my new "sister" was already cuddled up on the sofa bed.
I placed those childish clothes into my suitcase. "It's a sofa bed Esther. Sleep next to me tonight!" she pleaded.
The only light was from the cold winter Full Moon pouring through the curtains and from the fireplace in front of the sofa, which Rebecca must have lit while I was upstairs. The house was very silent now and the cracking of the fireplace was a sooting sound in it's own right. Rebecca opened the blanket and I slid in next to her. I felt like I was spending a night with my sister (Syrah that is) all over again. We always cuddled even though we were adult siblings and I welcomed this. Rebecca smelled slightly sweet much like my sister. I discreetly inhaled her essence and we embraced each other. She really was hitting it off with me. She rubbed her nose against mine and cooed. She put her finger to my nose and touched it gently. "Boop, boop" she said under her breath. I gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Good night Rebecca, I love you already" I told her. Whether I would ever love this girl either platonically or romantically was yet to be seen. Yes, she was half my age but I still found her attractive. "That means alot to me Esther, I loved you the second you walked through that door, good night darling" she said planting a kiss on my forehead. With the gentle flames of the fireplace safely contained behind their metal grate I listened to the crackling of the flame and felt the warmth of the heat against my small frame as I laid in the arms of a girl I just met that very night.
She did feel like a stranger to me but obviously she didn't feel that way about me. I had to avoid burying my face into her breasts either accidentally or otherwise! I know, I'm a fucking pervert, so shoot me!
In any case, I had some trouble falling asleep that night. Being in this strange home in the arms of a strange yet pleasant and attractive girl made me a little uneasy but I knew I would be safe and loves and welcomed by these people. There was always that subconcious fear that my secret would somehow be revealed. I tried to shake these thoughts and fall asleep. I couldn't let myself become carried away by the anxiety of all of the "what if's" that might occur. I knew I had to take things one day at a time. This wasn't the first family I had been "adopted" by and I knew better than to let my fears get the better of me. My thoughts kept drifting back to Syrah and how she was holding up. She begged and begged me not to leave and even in that very moment I kind of felt hurt for having done that to her. What was done couldn't be undone and Rebecca was now playing the role of "big sister". If only Rebecca knew she was caressing and holding one of the most dangerous women in Europe whom many still consider a violent psychopath. An arsonist, a liar, and a murderer. How would she react then? Surely she would run screaming for the hills! She had no knowledge of "Leena Klammer" and barely knew anything about Estonia. Ignorance would remain bliss to this entire family. Slowly...ever so slowly...I became drowsy. I continued to listen to the flames dance and crackle in the fireplace which soothed me off to dreamland. Tomorrow would bring a whole new day and with it it's own anxieties and worries. That was nothing to wonder about right now for the time being. I drifted off into sleep as did Rebecca and smiled in contented accomplishment in the task and mission that was now underway. A mission of love, passionate love, romantic love, something I would hopefully find as Esther...Esther Sullivan...
In Chapter 11, Esther becomes more acquainted with her new family but when Paul and Veronica enroll her in school, Esther soon finds that trouble arises and this doesn't sit well with her new parents...Thank you again to everybody for your warm feedback and please keep reading!