Never be alone again - Shelby finds out she'll never have to go through anything alone again. Originally a oneshot inspired by THAT kiss!
Rating - T
Characters - Shelby, Puck, Beth, Mrs Puckerman (Sarah), Noah's sister (Hannah) & Bruno the dog.
A/N -I'm back :D A couple of you mentioned how much you like Sarah so there's a lot of Sarah/Shelby interaction in this chapter. It's just a bit of a filler for now but I didn't want to keep you waiting for too long to find out if they decided to keep the baby or not!
Ideas are VERY welcome.
Reviews/concrit are loved.
"How are you feeling?" Sarah asked Shelby as she handed her a mug of coffee and moved to sit beside her.
Shelby thanked Sarah for the drink and leant back into the soft cushions of the sofa, "it's weird" she allowed her free hand to wander to her still flat stomach, "I don't actually feel pregnant at all. With Rachel I was throwing up constantly almost from before I knew I was late, with this one I've not even felt the slightest bout of nausea."
Sarah smiled, she was glad Shelby and Noah had decided to keep the baby, "maybe this one's a boy" she smiled jokingly.
Shelby smiled too, "I'd like a boy" she admitted, "it'd be nice to have a boy and a girl but I think Noah wants another daughter, I think he's worried about having a teenage 'Puck' to deal with."
Sarah rolled her eyes, "it'd serve him right, you and Beth could come live here for a few years and we could let Noah see what he put his poor old Momma through. Although saying that at least he never had the mood swings and tantrums that Hannah put me through for a couple of years, she seems to be through the worst of it now though touch wood." She leant forward and tapped the wooden coffee table in front of her. "Have you thought of any names yet?"
"No" Shelby shook her head, "we, erm" she bowed her head, "we're not doing anything like that until we're sure everything's going to be okay. I know we decided that we're keeping it but we're still not trying to get our hopes up too much just in case..."
"You're twelve weeks though" Sarah said optimistically, "that's a big milestone in any pregnancy."
"Yeah" Shelby sighed, "there's still a long way to go though."
"True, but this is the best part, you've not reached 'beached whale' status, like you said you've got no nausea, the doctors aren't worried about anything right now. This is the time you need to enjoy before the joys of aching boobs, a constant need to pee, stretch marks and swollen ankles."
Shelby laughed, "don't talk about aching boobs, I feel like someone crept in one night and swapped my old boobs for ones made of concrete, and I've got my next ultrasound on Monday, they might find something to worry about."
"Welcome to the joys of growing a new person, if they're not aching they'll be leaking. I'm glad my baby making days are over. And you don't know that, you've not had any worrying symptoms so the chances are everything will be fine. I know it's easy for me to say but the more you worry and get stressed about things the more stressed the baby will be. As hard as it sounds you just need to relax and not worry until you know there's something to worry about."
Shelby nodded, "I guess you're right, I think the further along I get the less I'll worry, I think every week I get past 24 weeks will be an achievement. And you don't paint a very appealing picture of pregnancy!"
"I don't need to, I'm not the one that's going through it. And if you're aiming for 24 weeks then you need to keep telling yourself now that you're over half way there, and if you're aiming for 37 weeks which is full term then you're a third of the way there give or take a few days. Instead of worrying about how long you've got left to go think about how much is already behind you."
Shelby visibly relaxed, "I,I never thought of it like that, I know 12 weeks is a big milestone but 24 weeks is a huge one and I'm already halfway there. It's going to get harder though, I mean the doctor said he didn't even know whether or not my womb would stretch for the baby to grow."
"This baby" Sarah laid her hand on Shelby's stomach is half Puckerman and half Shelby Corcoran. If anything that means it's going to be one hell of a fighter Shelby. Almost every day the survival rates for preemies gets higher, you're not big yourself so your baby might naturally be small so your womb won't have to stretch as much. Mother Nature knows what she's doing, all you've got to do is take your prenatal vitamins and look after yourself."
"I don't think I'll be forgetting to take my prenatal vitamins any time soon. If Noah's home in the morning he makes breakfast and puts them by my plate or my bowl, if he's working he leaves them with a note and a glass of water by my bed. You'd think I wasn't capable of getting them from the bathroom myself."
"He's doing it because he cares about you, but if you feel like he's suffocating you or going over the top or something I can have a word with him for you."
Shelby shook her head, "it's okay. Thanks for the offer but you're right, he's excited but at the same time he's terrified. I just have to remember that I'm not the only one having this baby."
Sarah nodded, "and you have to remember you're not on your own, if you're worried, or scared about anything, hell, even if you're crazy excited about something, whatever you're feeling you don't have to feel it alone."
"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "I know."
"Have you decided when you're going to tell Beth yet?"
"No" Shelby shook her head, "not yet. Noah and I have talked about what we're going to tell her and we've decided to be honest and tell her the baby might be born too soon and it might be sick for a while but we think Beth might start asking questions about where she came from and we're still trying to figure out how to explain it to her without confusing her. We want to be honest with her though, we don't want her to be one of those children that doesn't find out they're adopted until they're 18 and then hates their parents for keeping it a secret."
Sarah nodded, "just make sure she knows that she might have grown inside someone else but you're her mommy and Noah's her daddy and you'll both love her just as much as you'll love the baby."
Shelby felt her eyes fill with tears, she might not be having morning sickness but she had noticed she was more emotional than usual, she'd even cried at a story about a cat on the evening news a few nights ago. "I don't want her ever thinking I don't love her" she whispered as tears began to roll down her cheeks, "I messed up so much with Rachel, I don't want to screw Beth up too."
"Hey" Sarah took Shelby in her arms, "you did what you thought was best with Rachel, you learnt from your mistakes and you made things better Shelby, there's nothing you can do about that so don't dwell on the past because there's nothing you can do about it, you're building a relationship with Rachel and it's going well, that's what you should be focusing on. And as for Beth, she knows you love her, she's happy and she's turning out to be a beautiful, kind, friendly young girl. She's only able to become the girl she's becoming because she feels safe, loved and supported, she's not insecure, she's not clingy, if she goes away she trusts you enough to know you'll be there when she gets back. She's open with you right? She doesn't keep things from you? She tells you when things are upsetting her?" Shelby nodded, "then she's obviously feels like you love her enough to comfort her and not judge her. Being a parent is tough Shelby and I'll be honest, when he was young, parenting Noah was a million times easier than Hannah, but I think you're right on track and I'm not saying that because Beth is my granddaughter, I honestly think you're a great mom to that girl and I know you'll be a great mom to the little one you're carrying too."
By now Shelby's tears had turned into full blown sobs, "I'm sorry" she sobbed into Sarah's shoulder, "I'm sorry."
Sarah held Shelby tighter and began to rub her back, "you've got nothing to be sorry for Shelby." She rocked and held Shelby until she finally calmed down, "are you okay?"
Shelby nodded and wiped at her eyes, "Yeah" she sniffed slightly, "I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from."
"You don't need to apologise Shelby, when I was pregnant with Hannah I cried about everything. I broke down in Walmart once because I couldn't find the shampoo I wanted. It turned out I was looking on the wrong shelf" she laughed at the memory, "and I remember Noah bringing home a spelling test or something from school and he'd got like 95% or something, he'd done really well and I cried when he showed it me, poor guy thought I was upset that he hadn't got full marks. You don't have to go through this alone, if you need to call me or come over just so you can cry for an hour or you want to moan about how sore your boobs are, or there's anything else you don't feel comfortable speaking to Noah about you can come to me. It's been a while since I've been pregnant and you know me, I won't sugar coat anything but I'll be here if you want to talk to someone that's been there."
"Thanks" Shelby smiled, "I know this isn't the first time I've been pregnant but before, with Rachel, I felt like I could only share the good things with Hiram and Leroy, they wanted to know how well their baby was doing, how many times she'd kicked, they didn't want to know that I'd been awake since 4am with heartburn. This is the first time that I've been pregnant and had to make any decisions at all. Hiram and Leroy decided when I needed to see the doctor, they picked the brand of prenatal vitamins, they told me which tests they wanted me to have, they even chose the hospital they wanted me to deliver at and which pain relief they were comfortable with me having. I'm sure they'd have chosen when I gave birth too if they could have."
Sarah smiled sadly, she knew Shelby regretted signing Rachel over to the Berry men, she knew that Rachel had been brought up well but she regretted signing over all rights to seeing her daughter grow up. "If Noah tries to force you into anything you let me know, I'll sort him out."
Shelby laughed, "thanks but I don't think he'll force me into anything, I'm not the only one that's done a good job bringing up her children."
"Thanks" Sarah smiled and squeezed Shelby's hand, "Noah's not working tonight is he?"
Shelby shook her head, "No, he finishes at three and he's off for a whole 51 hours" she smiled, "he's not on call either so we get him for almost the whole weekend."
"I'm not at work until lunch time, how about I fetch Beth from school and have her tonight, you and Noah can have some time together and I'll either bring her over in the morning or Hannah can bring her over after lunch. I bet it's been a while since you and Noah spent some time together without Beth."
"Yeah it is." Shelby nodded, "but we make the most of the time we do get together. I think Beth wants to spend some time with him too though."
"She'll have him tomorrow and Sunday, don't feel bad about wanting some alone time Shelby."
Shelby nodded and smiled, "it would be nice to be able to sleep in a little bit in the morning." She paused for a moment, "if she says she wants to come home will you call me?"
"Straight away" Sarah promised, "you know I will."
Shelby smiled, "thank you. Do you need me to bring anything over?"
Sarah shook her head, "No I think we're good, I've got pyjamas and clothes for her."
"I'll bring her bear over."
"Sure" Sarah nodded, "we'll have a great time."
It had become unusual for Noah and Shelby to both fall asleep together and wake up together, especially when they were allowed to wake up in their own time without Beth waking them up. Noah's shift work meant he was either out at work when Shelby went to before he'd left for his shift by the time she woke up. But Noah had finished work at 3pm the previous day and he wasn't working until 7pm the next. Beth had slept at Sarah's without a problem and the couple were enjoying being able to snuggle under the duvet without worrying about what chaos Beth and Bruno were causing downstairs. "I had a dream about the baby last night" Shelby admitted sleepily as she laid with her head on Noah's chest.
"Oh Shelby" Noah sighed, beginning to play with her hair, "you should have woken me." It had been just two weeks since they had decided to keep the child she was carrying but there had been several times she'd woken in tears because she'd dreamt that she'd lost the baby, a dream so vivid she wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality for a few minutes after she'd woken.
"No, no, not like that" she tried to reassure him, "I was in the hospital, we'd had a little girl and we called her Annie. She was so beautiful Noah and I knew she was a girl but the doctors kept telling me she was a boy and then your mom came in and yelled at us for calling her grandson Annie."
"Maybe it's a sign" Noah chuckled, "maybe the doctors will tell us we're having one but we'll end up with the other."
"I don't think I want to find out" Shelby said quietly, "if I get that far, I mean I don't mind if you want to find out but I think I'd rather wait."
Noah kissed her forehead, "I don't think I'd be able to keep something like that a secret so if you don't want to know it's probably best if I don't find out either." Shelby opened her mouth to protest but Noah continued, "I mean it's not like I'll never get to find out." They sat in silence for a minute before Noah spoke again, "I like Annie" he said cautiously. He and Shelby had agreed they weren't going to prepare for the baby until they knew it had a decent chance of survival, "Annie Corcoran's got a ring to it."
Shelby shook her head, "I don't know what we'll call the baby, I don't even know for sure that we'll have a baby at the end of all this, but I do know I want any children we have in the future to have your surname. I, I'd like to change Beth's surname too. When the baby's born I mean, if you don't mind."
"Mind?" Noah couldn't help but smile, "of course I wouldn't mind."