Lyrics by Jordan Pruitt & Dashboard Confessional

Martin POV

Once Ruthie returned, I looked at her and asked "So what's the verdict?"

"Dad was surprisingly calmer than I expected." she replied grinning slightly.

"Interesting" I replied as I then said "If you want to help you can make the salad."

"Okay" she replied and went to work on cutting the tomatoes and cucumbers.

We were quiet for a while as we worked side by side and then I cleared my throat. I couldn't forget what Mac had told me and I suppose he was right. I needed to make sure Ruthie understood my feelings and intentions.

"So Mac and I were talking.." I began as Ruthie looked over at me and smiled before answering "Well I'm glad that Mac has finally learned how to express his thoughts with words"

"Very funny" I replied as I rolled my eyes and Ruthie softly giggled before turning serious and asking "Is everything alright with him?"

"Yes everything is fine with him. He was actually concerned about us..I mean about our friendship"

"What's there to be concerned about?" she asked as she looked over at me.

"That's exactly what I said" glad that we were on the same level as I continued "He kept talking about my intentions and making sure you understood that even though I love you, I'm not in love with you. I told him you already knew that but he insisted"

Ruthie stopped chopping the cucumbers as she looked at me, wide eyed and said softly "Silly Mac, getting worried over nothing"

"I know. I mean we're good right?"

"The best" she replied as she brightly smiled at me and then took a step away from the counter.

"Are you okay?" I asked concerned as she shook her head and replied "I think I should probably go lay down."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No" she replied as she headed towards the stairs and then stopped asking "So which room should I take?"

"You can take the room that has the bathroom in it. I'll come and check on you later."

"Don't be silly. I'm fine. I'll see you in the morning. Night"

"Good night" I replied as I looked at her once more before she took her bag and went towards the stairs. I hoped she wasn't coming down with a cold, the last thing I needed was to get sick.

Ruthie POV

As I walked in the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, I was furious. I couldn't believe he said that. He wasn't in love with me. What sort of person gives you a key and not be in love with you? I thought I had read all the signs right this time, I suppose when it came to Martin Brewer I would never know.

I headed into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin as the tears started falling. I tried taking a deep breath and that just ending up with me hyperventilating.

I felt trapped and I didn't know what to do. I got out of bed and slipped on a sweatshirt and quietly walked down the stairs. I saw the TV on in the den, so Martin was probably still up.

I walked around to the other side of the house and saw a piano. I walked straight in and closed the door before sitting down. Maybe I would find some solace once I got my feelings out.

You don't know my name
you don't know anything about me
I try to play nice
I want to be in your game
The things that you say
You may think I never hear about them
But word travels fast
I'm telling you to your face
I'm standing here behind your back

You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

If you could read my mind
You might see more of me that meets the eye
And you've been all wrong
Not who you think I am
You've never given me a chance

You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

Well, I'm tired of staying at home
I'm bored and alone
I'm sick of wasting all my time


You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

I then stood up and sighed. That did not help at all. I trudged back upstairs to my room and got back under the covers as I sighed and thought "I won't think about it until tomorrow" and with that promptly fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up disoriented and a terrible headache. Once I was dressed I headed downstairs where Martin had his coat on and was waiting.

"Lot's of things to do today" he said as he ushered me out the door and we were on out way. The rest of the weekend was fun and Martin was great as he took me to the museums, restaurants and a matinée, we even got to see the tree lit up at night. On the plane heading home, I turned to him and said "Thanks so much for taking me to NY, you didn't have to"

"I know, I wanted to. I thought it would be fun" he replied before smiling at me and then turning his attention back to the movie that was being shown.

At the airport, Simon and Sandy were waiting for us. I heard Martin sighed as he asked irritably "Who invited her to tag along?" I shrugged before running to Simon to give him a hug.

"How was your trip?" He asked me as I shrugged and said "It was good" He raised an eyebrow at me before greeting Martin. My cell than rang and I answered it "Hello?" I said as I heard Noah's warm voice say "Welcome back love, you look beautiful by the way"

"Trust me I don't" I replied smiling slightly. Noah always was able to put me in a good mood. "Well I was wondering if I could take you to dinner?"

"Now?" I asked perplexed as Noah replied "Yes right now" and there he was standing in front of me. I shut my phone off laughing as I gave him a hug and replied "Of course I'll go to dinner to you. We have lots to talk about it"

"Wonderful" he replied as he turned to look at Martin and said "Hey man, how did you enjoy NY?"

"It was fine" Martin replied scowling as I turned to Simon and said "Noah's taking me out to dinner. I'll see you later"

"What about school tomorrow?" Martin asked me as I looked at him briefly before replying "I'll be back on time. I'll see you soon Martin" as I smiled at Sandy and walked out with Noah.

As we got into the car, I took a deep breath and said "Thanks for rescuing me back there"

"Rescuing? The trip wasn't what you hoped it to be?"

"Let's just say that Martin Brewer is not in love with me and probably never will be."

"That my dear is where you are wrong" Noah replied as I snorted and replied "Noah, he told me himself. He said he was not in love with me"

"Well he obviously doesn't realize what love is because Ruthie, Martin is in love with you. He just hasn't realized it as of yet"

"Well I'm done with waiting" I declared as we pulled into the restaurant and got out.

The two weeks went by quickly with classes and visiting my parents. I hardly had time to see Martin which was fine with me. That Friday as I was walking out the school, I saw him waiting for me. My traitorous heart starting beating as my palms became sweaty. When was I going to get over Martin Brewer?

"Hey stranger" he said as I looked at him and smiled brightly before replying "Hey yourself. How have you been?"

"Lonely" he replied and then he blushed a little as I looked at him closely. He did seem a bit off. His clothes looked a little wrinkled and he seemed to have bags underneath his eyes.

"So would you like to explain to me why you have been unavailable for the past two weeks?" Martin finally asked me before looking at the ground.

"I've been busy" I feebly answered as he laughed bitterly. I shuffled anxiously before saying "I should go. I'm meeting Noah in half an hour"

"Noah" Martin repeated making it sound hurtful and scornful at the same time. "Well take this with you and if you're not too busy tonight, we can talk about it" I looked at him curiously as he handed me a CD and then asked "Do you need a ride?"

"No I have Simon's car today. I'll see you later" I said giving him a wave and walking towards the parking lot.

Later after my meeting with Noah I got into the car and immediately slipped the CD in. Soon I was driving and heard one of my favorite songs

We watch the season
Pull up it's own stakes
And catch the last weekend
Of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

Invitation only
Grant Farewells
Crash the best one
Of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed
Too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor
We are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all
Will sleep well

Sleep Well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well

you have stolen
you have stolen my
you have stolen my heart

Watch you spin around
In your highest heels
You are the best one
Of the best ones
And we
All
Look
Like
We
Feel


you have stolen my
you have stolen my
you have stolen my heart

As I listened to the song again, I found myself at Martin's apartment. I got out the car and walked up the stairs. I opened the door to find Martin sitting there doing his homework and the tears began to fall.

I stepped forward and Martin looked up and said "Ruthie! Are you okay?" I nodded as I stepped forward and said very softly "I love you too" and threw myself in his arms. Maybe there was hope for us after all.