A/N Again I thank you all so much. It seems most of us agree, we'd risk a little injury to have Daryl be our caregiver :)
This chapter we're going to have a bit of a rough time at the start, well you know how Daryl can get. But it may be just what our couple needs. We'll finish big. I hope you enjoy!
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Life had been a little crazy and a whole lot different since the incident at the river.
Now it seemed everything in Daryl's and Beth's daily lives centered around Beth's injury and dealing with all the things it brought with it, mostly her not being quite as mobile and self-sufficient.
She wasn't always the best patient either. She disliked having to use crutches and her resistance only made getting the hang of them tougher. But the doctor had insisted she keep the weight off her leg to help it heal more quickly. So she did struggle those first couple of days, but had finally become accustomed to them and was doing pretty well getting around.
Amy helped her as much as she could at school, carrying her backpack and helping with doors. Since Beth was an honors student in honors classes, the only classes they shared were homeroom and P.E. But the teachers and staff were patient with them both. Beth was a model student and everyone knew she was doing her best to get where she needed to be on time, and that Amy was doing her best to help.
When she wasn't in school and Daryl wasn't working he made it his business to be with her. He wanted to spend his time with her but it was more than that, he thought he was supposed to be there. He had these feelings for her he still didn't quite understand, but whatever they were they included the need to be near her, especially now.
The weight of the guilt he felt over the incident also contributed to his feelings of duty and obligation. Even though no one blamed him for what had happened he had plenty of self-imposed guilt. He was putting himself under a lot of pressure trying to spend all of his free time with her at the farm, doing everything he could think to do to take care of her, help her folks out and do what he thought everyone expected of him. He was spending no time on himself nor doing any of the activities he would normally enjoy.
Beth's parents, Maggie and Glenn and even her brother over in Augusta all had a new appreciation for the young man. Although the biggest part of that of course, was immense gratitude for him having saved Beth's life, but that wasn't all of it. They saw now some of the things in him Beth saw, he was thoughtful, helpful and always respectful.
Who would have guessed these things about Daryl Dixon, the biker, the young man from a locally notorious family who had his own bad reputation as a ruffian and troublemaker. The guy who now in his way was teaching them not to judge too quickly.
Hershel and Annette weren't turning a blind eye to what they saw as his shortcomings. Daryl had been raised to be rough and that was still a big part of who he was. They knew he could be high strung and volatile, but they'd also observed he never treated their daughter in any manner that wasn't gentle and thoughtful.
They also weren't happy about the fact he rode a menacing looking and loud motorcycle, with the worst part of that being he took their daughter on it with him. It was unnerving for her parents. And they knew he hung out with a rough group of guys, including his own brother. But they were trying very hard never to judge either Merle or Daryl for what had happened in the past. Still it wasn't some little thing a person just forgets happened.
In the end they felt that as far as Daryl was concerned his positive attributes outweighed the negatives. They now had faith in him to do the right thing when it came to Beth.
They were also aware it was time to show their daughter the level of trust she'd earned and deserved. She was 18 now and had always been a good person who did the right thing, she had her head screwed on straight and she made them proud.
There was no doubt in their minds about the strong bond that had been forged between their daughter and Daryl. Keeping all of these things in mind they tried not to meddle in the young couple's relationship.
Issues with family were not where Daryl and Beth hit their first snag.
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There was a growing undercurrent of restlessness on Daryl's part. He tried to mask it, thinking it was just him being an asshole and he should man up. So he never spoke of his feelings or what might be bothering him, but Beth sensed something wasn't quite right. Still in her efforts to avoid any conflict with him she never asked. She just hoped whatever was bothering him would go away.
As problems tend to do many little things began to pile on top of each other, at least in Daryl's mind.
These first weeks of healing kept the couple mostly at the farm and that proved rough on him. As much as he wanted to spend his time with Beth, he felt they were always under the watchful eye of her parents and never got that alone time he craved with her.
Their lifestyle on the farm was a far cry from what he was used to. It seemed at the end of the work day all her family did was sit, and sit. He wasn't the kind of person who sat around, drank sweet tea and just read or watched TV in the evening. If he were home at least he could be reloading shells or fletching arrows, tying flies, taking his bike out for a ride. Anything other than sitting idle. But he said nothing, he just sat right there with them.
She noticed his hands were always in constant motion, fidgeting. It was almost as if they were twitching with adrenaline. And she noticed how he was always either chewing on his bottom lip or the side of his thumb. Like he was in a continuous state of agitation.
Being forced to just sit wasn't all of it, their TV program choices weren't his cup of tea either, not even close. If he was going to be watching TV at all it would be an outdoor program, or an action adventure movie or even a western. But at the Greene farm Daryl had been introduced to a whole new world of movies, Disney movies.
Before he started hanging out with Beth he'd only seen one Disney movie. He'd been just a little guy of seven when 17 year old Merle, who always thought he was pretty damn funny, told him he was taking him to see a real good hunting movie down at the show house. It turned out the movie was Bambi and Merle ceased thinking he was pretty damn funny when he saw the tears in Daryl's eyes. That was the day Merle began referring to his little brother as the sweet one.
Now all of these years later Daryl felt like he was being forced to endure some kind of torture as he sat through what felt to him like endless Disney movies. Maybe one once in a while wouldn't be bad, but as a regular diet it was getting to him. He was sure he knew more than he ever needed or wanted to know about princesses and mermaids and Dalmatians.
He was aware the boredom was his own fault. He could have just told Beth he didn't want to watch the movies, or that he could only come by a couple of nights a week, or he even could have made suggestions about doing other things. It was his guilt that made him feel he didn't have a voice in this, he was supposed to make sure she was happy and all of these things seemed to make her happy and comfortable. He just stayed quiet and went along.
He was also getting the full picture of how much homework she did and how seriously she took her studying. While she was busy with schoolwork he tried hard to keep himself busy reading motorcycle or hot rod magazines, and he was always willing to help her Daddy with chores.
If studying was important to her then that was fine, she should do that. That was honestly how he felt, yet it made him uncomfortable. He didn't understand it at all. School had been an entirely different experience for him. It was just a kind of way station, someplace you spent your time while you waited to turn 18 and start living your real life.
He also began to feel some serious self-doubt. Those feelings were compounded by the fact that since the accident he'd been living so far out of his element. He was edgy and he knew it, but just because he was aware didn't make those feelings of self-doubt any less intense.
Or maybe it was just that all those other uncomfortable little feelings and situations had indeed piled on top of this particular uncomfortable feeling. All of these little things together were turning into something on the verge of popping.
He was focused on their differences. He felt she was so much smarter than him and that turned his mind to the thought she deserved someone much better. She deserved a guy who was smart like her and had a big future.
All these things that were worrying his mind came to a head that Thursday night, three weeks after the accident. Unless it was just to have one quick beer after work or meet a friend for one, he didn't go out drinking on work nights. But when he left her house that evening that was exactly where he went, straight to the Club. He proceeded to drink himself into a state that only served to exacerbate his feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness. With these low feelings now front and center he decided that yes, he had to back away from her.
After drinking far more than his share of beers he caught a ride home with Tara. Once home and hitting the jack he became more convinced of the value of his plan, making himself more and more miserable.
As badly as it hurt him and as deep as his feelings were for her, he decided he needed to tell her it was over and let her get on with her life.
That was his mindset when he passed out Thursday night, and it was still his mindset when he drug himself out of bed Friday morning to get to the job on time.
Tonight after work would be the night.
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They'd gotten in the habit of taking a short walk after dinner. It was good for her and Daryl really needed to just get out, move around and breathe the outside air.
As often happens the conversation started out in one direction and ended up shooting out into several other directions.
At first, while they walked slowly down to the orchard they weren't talking at all. Once there and hidden among the trees he took her in his arms like he always did, but this time he didn't kiss her. He looked in her eyes and said what was on his mind, even if it wasn't what was in his heart. "Ya need ta find ya a different guy Beth, I ain't the right one. Ya oughta be with someone more like you girl, not some know-nuthin' redneck. Ya deserve some guy who talks proper an reads real books an knows all about that stuff ya know about. I ain't that guy an I ain't ever gonna be that guy. You need ta find someone else."
His heart was aching at his own words but he meant what he said, and he thought he was being a good man, doing right by her. Beth didn't think so at all and she made that clear to him. Her hands flew up to his chest and she pushed him away hard, and for the first time ever she raised her voice to Daryl Dixon. "How can you even say that Daryl? I thought you and I being together meant something to you! I thought I meant something! So what are you telling me now? Nothing means anything to you? You're just going to dump me because I'm a good student? You think because I like school I can't like you? Or is that just an excuse for being a jackass?!"
He'd never seen her look and sound so angry and he felt so bad, but he still thought what he was trying to do was right. He just couldn't let her think he didn't care though; he wanted her to understand that this was because he did care. He tried his best to convince her of that. "Nah Beth ya know better, that ain't even it. I care for ya girl. Fuck, ya know I do. You're everythin'."
"Oh yeah? Well if I'm everything then why are you so willing to just toss me and us away? What's this really about? Did some hot chick walk in the club last night and get your attention?" She regretted the words the minute they came out of her mouth but there was no taking them back.
Her words set him on fire and now his voice was raised at her, "Ya think that's the guy I am? Ya really believe some chick's gonna walk by an I'ma decide I just gotta have her? The fuck Beth? Shit I thought ya thought better a me than that. Here I am tryin' ta do the right thing an you're cuttin' me down. I guess the truth is out, ya think the same thing most folks do, I'm just some redneck asshole, a real loser." He was already regretting raising his voice and being so harsh with her.
"You stop saying that! That's your excuse for everything. I've been telling you ever since we met how good you are and how special you are and how much I care. Now because I'm hurt and I can't get out and do the things that you want to do, you're just going to make up some stupid excuse to leave. If it's so easy for you to walk away from us and what we have then maybe you really are stupid."
Then she sat herself down in the dirt folding her arms in front of her and she gave him a scornful look. He didn't care, he was full of anger at her for accusing him of being so easily interested in someone else. But he was most angry with himself for being an idiot. She was right he didn't even want to think about having to live his life without her in it.
He felt the tears in his eyes, they were tears of hurt mixed with anger and even fear, and he saw those same kind tears in her eyes.
Then it happened. Right in the midst of him having all of these heavy thoughts one on top of the other, and practically short circuiting from his emotional overload, she did it. Beth made a nasty little face and stuck her tongue out at him.
He just stared for a moment and then he fell to his knees in front of her. Now he was laughing and crying and hating on himself and wishing he could take this whole conversation back. "The fuck is wrong with me Beth? Dammit girl I know I don't ever wanna be anywhere but with you. I really am stupid. Shit."
His arms went around her and hers around him and they just held on. Each silently reminding themselves what they had, what they wanted, what they needed, and what they didn't want to lose.
"The things you said just aren't true Daryl and you know it, you're plenty smart enough. You know about a lot of things I don't know anything about. What about your job? You work so hard and you went to all that schooling and training, and what you do is really important. They're trusting you with the drinking water for the whole county. When you talk about your work I'm amazed, I could never do that stuff."
Then she got honest with herself and with him. She rested her open palms on his cheeks, looked in his eyes and softly spoke, "I've been very selfish with you Daryl. I've taken all your willing to give and I haven't been giving back. I knew you weren't enjoying all the movies and sitting around while I studied. I should have told you that you didn't have to be here all the time; that you should go do things you'd enjoy. But I wanted you here with me and I knew you'd keep trying to make me happy. I've been a terrible self-centered little witch and I'm lucky you didn't try to dump me sooner."
"Nah now girl don't ya be talkin' like that. That ain't at all what I think. I'm just trying to do this right, be a good boyfriend to ya an do the things I'm s'posed ta do." He couldn't wait another minute, he had to kiss her.
Again they just held on until she pulled away enough to look in his eyes. "Daryl being a good boyfriend doesn't mean you have to give up everything in your life to make me happy. I care about you because you're you. I don't want you to change and I don't think you want me to change. The truth, and we both know it, is we are so different but maybe that's part of the attraction we feel. How about neither one of us changes? How about we just accept and appreciate our differences?"
He was fiddling with loose strands of her hair, biting on his bottom lip and nodding in agreement.
She put her hand in his hair, combing her fingers through it as she told him, "What I think is this situation has been hard on both of us, and there's been a little too much family time. These walks are nice but we need to get out and do something Mister Dixon, we need to have time to ourselves and have some fun. Let's go out tomorrow night. I'm getting around good for gosh sake. If I don't start doing something soon we're both going to go crazy."
He could feel his face break into a grin, "A'ight let's have some dinner an take a ride on the bike. I been missin' havin' ya hangin' onto with me."
"Yes! Please!"
"I'll come by at five in the pickup, that'll make your folks happy. After dinner we'll get the bike an go ridin'."
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She put on the tightest and skimpiest clothes she could get out the door in. And maybe just a little more makeup than usual. She wasn't going to go so far as to try and look like the women at the Club, she just wanted to look good for him.
He was right on time at five. She opened the door and was thrilled to see he was wearing exactly what she'd hoped he'd be wearing, his black jeans, a plaid flannel and his leather vest. He took her hand in his while he looked at her with that crooked little grin and said, "Damn girl you're looking so fine."
That's when he noticed her Mama standing behind her. "Sorry for the language Ma'am."
Mama just sighed and smiled at him, "I know you are Daryl. You two be careful and have a nice time."
Beth had refused to even think about taking a crutch so he wrapped an arm tightly around her waist and half carried her to the pickup. "I can walk Daryl." She had a smile on her face when she said it because she knew him so well. There was no way he was letting her walk on her own.
They went to a small Italian restaurant and before they even walked in the door she knew what he'd order. Daryl loved spaghetti, any spaghetti. The spaghetti he made, the spaghetti her Mama made, heck he'd even eat the kind in a can. But he did surprise her when he ordered a glass of red wine.
When the waiter left their table she had to ask, "So when did you start drinking wine Daryl Dixon?"
"It's you Beth Greene. Since I started hangin' out with ya I'm tryin' ta get all civilized, high class an whatnot." His smile was snarky as he very dramatically took a sip from the glass.
It struck her again; she needed to start doing things a new way if they were going to stay solid. And there was something, a place she knew he loved and she didn't want him to think he had to give that up because of her. That's why Beth did what she did when she told him, "Next Saturday I want you to take me back to the river Daryl."
He was stunned, "Girl ya don't mean it. Ya really wanna go back ta that place?"
"Yes. What happened was an accident and I know now that I'll never ever set foot in that water again. But Daryl, it's our spot and I want us to go there, just the two of us. I want to have our picnic we didn't get to have that day." Then she teasingly poked him in the ribs, "Mostly I want you to quit feeling guilty so we can have some fun again."
He finally smiled as he poked her back, "Oh yeah? Okay, I'll tell ya what. We'll go an this time I'll pack the picnic an stuff. We ain't goin' fishin' an all that though, we're just gonna chill an see how ya do, deal?"
"Deal!"
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He was there for her first thing the next Saturday morning. It was late fall and the weather had turned quite cool. He'd thrown his sleeping bag and another big blanket in the bed of the pickup, along with a full water jug and the cooler full of food and drinks.
When they got to their spot he told her to wait in the pickup while he opened the sleeping bag and laid it out on the ground. He got the the cooler from the truck, and then set the big folded blanket down at the end of the sleeping bag.
He went back to her and made to lift her from the truck. She ran a hand through his hair as she softly laughed, teasing him, "Are you ever going to let me walk on my own again? I can you know."
"Yeah I do know, but I'm bein' careful with ya Beth. And besides, I like the feel of ya in my arms."
She didn't argue with him even though she was almost completely healed now. It was the accident that was still fresh in both their minds and they needed to move on. She knew how scared he'd been, it had been every bit as hard on him as it was on her. Maybe harder. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed him, whispering, "There is no one in this world as good as you Daryl Dixon. You should believe that because I know it's the truth. You didn't cause the accident; you saved my life when the accident happened."
The way he looked at her she knew he was thinking hard about what she'd said, "Maybe ya need ta keep reminding me."
"No, I think you need to put it in the past and we need to move on and start living our lives again."
He didn't respond until he'd set her down on the sleeping bag. He sat across from her gently playing with her hair. His look was so sincere and she could see the emotion in his face. His eyes looked into hers and he softly whispered, "Ain't no one in this life ever treated me so good like you do Beth."
He kissed her then and he was feeling that feeling for her and she was feeling it for him, but neither was quite brave enough to take that step yet, to say those words.
They sat quietly for a few minutes both just looking down, lost in their thoughts and their feelings. His hand was resting softly over hers when she started to sing. Her voice was beautiful and gentle just like her, and he couldn't take his eyes from her. She felt those eyes and she looked at him then, embarrassed and smiling shyly. Her singing stopped.
His look got more intense, "Keep singin'."
"It doesn't annoy you?"
"Nah, never."
When the song was over she shivered and he asked, "Ya cold girl?"
"A little. The weather sure has changed."
He'd thought about it and that was the little push he'd needed. He coaxed her back until she was lying on the sleeping bag, then he lay down next to her and pulled the big cover over them. He held her tightly against him as he looked in her eyes and gently brushed the stray strands of hair from her face. "You're the prettiest girl I ever seen Beth. Pretty inside too. I never wanna be without ya girl. I need you."
"You don't have to be away from me Daryl. Haven't I told you so many times that I'm always going to want you?"
He kissed her and it was deep and passionate but it was also so tender. When he drew his lips from hers he asked her, "Is this it Beth?"
"Is this what?"
"Is this love? Are we gonna have that forever thing?"
"Are you telling me you love me Daryl?"
Her eyes were big and round and staring right into his and there was no longer any doubt in his mind what he was feeling. "I do, I love ya girl. Loved ya right from the start."
"I love you too Daryl. I fell in love with you that very first night."
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A/N Daryl almost blew it but Beth didn't let him and I'd say it all paid off in the end. Next chapter we're going to be right back here at the river, just Daryl and Beth :) To see the chapter photo please visit my tumblr blogs gneebee or bethylmethbrick. I'd appreciate you leaving a review / comment for this chapter and hope you'll be back next Wednesday for what I believe is a very special chapter. If you get a chance please check out my other Bethyl WIP Long Gone. In the meantime remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee