Ten
Spencer never felt so vulnerable. Laying next to Morgan, gazing into his eyes, Spencer felt like he was seeing his entire world for the first time. The sheets of his bed never felt softer, the cool breeze that came through the window never felt more refreshing, and Morgan's presence had never made him feel so alive. These new feelings rushed through Spencer with intensity and laying next to the man who had awakened them felt like paradise. Though he didn't know what would happen from here or what he should do, Spencer knew exactly what he wanted to happen. He wanted Morgan to lie there with him all night. He wanted Morgan to hold him and to kiss him again. But this time, when Morgan kissed him, he wanted it to be because Morgan cared about him and because Morgan wanted to be with Spencer as badly as Spencer wanted to be with Morgan. As he wondered what most people did after a night of intimacy, a realization hit Spencer that shook his nerves. Morgan wasn't most people. Morgan wasn't someone he'd just met and he didn't need time to predict his actions. Spencer's heart began to race as he remembered asking Morgan, during Lila Archer's case years ago, if he'd ever wanted to spend more than just one night with the same woman. Saddened, he realized that he's known Morgan for 10 years but can only think of one, maybe two, actual girlfriends. He knew Morgan, and Morgan wasn't the type of guy who spent more than one night with the same person, and he wasn't the type of guy to commit. Even if he'd suddenly become that kind of guy, history suggests that he'd settle down with a woman.
As Spencer's mind raced, Morgan got out of the bed and put his boxers on. When he left the room, Spencer's worry completely encompassed him. Somehow, during the kisses, tastes, and touches, Spencer hadn't once considered what would happen when Morgan left his apartment and went home. Truthfully, he never imagined he'd actually have the opportunity to be intimate with Morgan, so naturally he never thought about how he'd feel when Morgan left him afterward. Staring at the empty doorway, Spencer wondered if Morgan would say anything before he left or if he'd just grab his keys and leave. He started wondering if Morgan would call him the next day or if he'd just see him at work on Monday, and became even more nervous considering what work may be like now. Would Morgan be more affectionate with him? Would they talk about it? Would Morgan set clear definition to what their relationship would be? Or would he simply pretend that nothing ever happend? The amount of unknowns sent his mind into a dangerous tailspin, and just as Spencer's emotions were starting to get the better of him, convinced that the older agent had simply used him and left, Morgan reappeared in the bedroom doorway, holding a dampened cloth as he walked toward the bed.
"I caught a glimpse of where the bathroom was when I walked in earlier." he said as he sat back down on the bed next to Spencer. Morgan brought the cloth to Spencer's stomach and used it to wipe away the physical manifestation of his climax.
"I figured you'd be too tired for a shower, but I can't just let you sit here a mess, pretty boy." As Morgan spoke, he looked down at Spencer devotedly. Even though he had a rough exterior, Morgan's smile was always so warm and inviting. Though he had the typical air of an alpha male- confident, assertive, dominant, sometimes even a bit aggressive- anyone who met Morgan could tell right away that he was a genuinely good man, and Spencer never realized until now that maybe that was why he always felt so at ease around Morgan.
As Spencer looked up at him nervously, a sense of euphoria washed over Morgan. As he tried to search his memory for the same post-coital bliss, Morgan realized how his experienced past contrasted the innocence of Spencer's. Morgan was a ladies' man. He always had been. No matter who he wanted, his charisma and stunning features guarenteed that he'd get them. When Morgan began experimenting with men in college, he found that those traits created the same desire in men as they had in women. At this point in his life, Morgan could have anyone he wanted, male or female, so when he decided that he wanted Dr. Spencer Reid for the evening, expecting anything less than getting him was unheard of.
While he'd anticipated quite a bit- touching Spencer, tasting Spencer, finding release in his body- Morgan ended up getting a lot more out of tonight's events than he'd expected. In all of these years, all of these people, countless nights of unimaginable pleasure, Morgan had never looked at someone the way he was looking at Spencer right now. Typically, Morgan didn't look at someone he'd just satisfied. Typically, Morgan just put his clothes on and left. But for some reason, he felt compelled to stay with Spencer. He wanted to remain close to him. Even though he'd already gotten Spencer, Morgan's desire for him burned with great intensity. No one ever seemed as appealing to Morgan after he had them and Morgan just had Spencer no more than five minutes ago. He didn't understand how, but Spencer seemed even more appealing after he'd attained his body
"I, um, I never realized it was so messy," Spencer spoke nervously, wanting to break the silence as Morgan cleaned him. Tonight, when Spencer spoke, no matter what he said, Morgan heard a symphony. When he touched him, he felt bliss. Morgan desperately wanted to lie back down with Spencer and hold him. He wanted to fall asleep with Spencer tonight and wake up next to Spencer in the morning. He wanted to be what Spencer needed and he knew that Spencer needed someone loyal, someone faithful, someone he would never have to worry about. Spencer needed someone loving, someone sensitive, someone who could bring their guard down. Morgan felt that he could be everything Spencer needed him to be. Morgan felt like he could committ, he thought for sure that he could be faithful, he told himself that he'd let his walls down. But looking into Spencer's deep, vulnerable eyes, Morgan was afraid that he'd try to be that guy and fail. He thought back to the promise he made himself just as he was entering Spencer's body- Morgan swore that he'd never do anything to hurt him. Morgan swore that he'd always be Spencer's protector, and he knew exactly how he'd have to protect him now.
"Pretty boy," unable to look in Spencer's eyes, he turned his head slightly as he spoke. "You know, when I get with someone, I usually just leave..."