Chapter Ten

I dreamt of Percy last night. I could feel him sitting next to me, his hand holding mine, but when ever I tried to look at him, a hand pushed my head away, forcing me to stare out into the bleak white world that inhabited this dream. I have no idea whether it was his hand or mine that pushed me away. Forcing me to sit there, clinging to his hand, knowing it was the only contact I had with him.

I woke up in a cold sweat, un able to go back to sleep. This was a re occurring thing now, but this time instead of staying in my cabin, I got dressed and grabbed my bow and arrow, as I walked out of the door.

Running all the way to archery field, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, threatening to break out of my rib cage and run along beside me.

I stopped at the first line of targets and started firing, not caring if they hit the bullz eye or not, I just wanted to get my anger out some how.

I had handed my heart to Percy on a platter, allowing him to make the choice between me or Annnabeth and I had no idea who he would choose. All the signs pointed to Annabeth, she was beautiful and exciting and he obviously pinned for her, desperate for her attention. I was just a mistake, he had started fancying me because he felt alone, we had a connection, but was it the right kind?

I felt so bad for what we had done, I never wanted to help someone cheat, to encourage it, but I'd done just that and now I was in the middle of a relationship, stuck until Percy let me go. How long would it take him to make a decision, a day, a week, a month, could I bear it? Knowing that he didn't like me enough to leave his girlfriend, to give himself to me completely. I don't want to own him, but I want to know that he'd chosen to be with me and no one else.

I could fell the tears start to prick my eyes, but I pushed them away furiously, trying to focus on the feel of the arrows, watching as they plunged into the target with such force, breaking the wood. I suddenly imagined myself as the target, I could see it, standing alone. Watching as Percy held up his bow and shot an arrow right into my heart, piercing the skin, tearing it open. Obviously archery wasn't helping to take my mind off him.

I let my arms drop by my side, putting the arrow away. I let out a long sigh that I had been keeping in longer then I thought. But as I finally took notice of what was around me, I noticed a flash of white out of the corner of my eye. Either a very tall rabbit had been watching me, or someone had spied on me for I don't know how long, but I was about to find out. I didn't want to be messed around by anyone else.

I hurried across the field, keeping low to the ground, my eyes searching for the white head again. I saw it, moving slower then before, giving me the chance to find out who it was. I scurried closer and then jumped in front of them, bow in front of me, although I had forgotten to put an arrow in place, meaning I would have to hit the person with it if I wanted to cause any damage.

"Seb what the fuck are you doing here?" That creepy prick had been watching me, how long had he stood there and witnessed me trying to let go of my emotions, how long had he watched me in such a fragile state. He just stared at me, not saying anything, his face paler then before, either he was scared or seriously ill. I finally pulled out an arrow and held it in the bow, but I didn't point it at him directly, just slightly off so that I could move it if he tried anything funny. "So? Are you gonna answer me, or am I gonna have to make you?"

"You think you're the only one who comes to the archery field to let go." Seb said composedly, moving a step backwards. "How do you know I came her to let go?" I didn't like the way he was talking, he didn't sound cocky like usual and it made me kinda edgy. "You were crying"

"I wasn't fucking crying!" He swayed his head forward slightly, slumping his shoulders so that he was more at my eye range. "I can see it in your eyes."

"It's just dirt, I've got dirt in my eyes." I rubbed at them furiously, trying to prove something that I knew wasn't true. "Why were you here anyway, what did you have to let go?" I sounded rough and mean, meaner then I'd ever sounded before, but he made me like this, put me on edge, made me feel like if I sound something wrong he'd ridicule and torture me for ever. "Stuff. What were you letting go?"

"Why the hell do you care!" Why did he always appear when I didn't want him to, when I felt my weakest, why couldn't Lyra or Drew suddenly turn up out of the blue and make me feel better, not twist me up even more. "I don't, just interested I guess."

"Why, so that you can finnish making your mind up about me, what kind of newbie I am, go on tell me, I'm dying to know what stupid shitty little title you wish to label me with." I was getting all my anger out, every little hurt feeling, spilling it out, taking out all the spite I had for myself and for Percy and taking it out on him. But it just made it worse. I suddenly felt bad, really had Seb been that bad, some of it had been my fault as well, I had played the bitchy role as well, he had just taken it another level, trying to play with me and make me feel insignificant. I bit my lip and dropped my bow completely, letting it fall to the floor. I didn't want to look at him anymore. I just closed my eyes and hoped he'd go away.

I heard a rustling, as Seb moved slightly. Opening one eye slightly, I peaked to see if he had gone, but he'd just got closer, his face next to mine. He place the bow back in my hand and started talking quietly in my ear. "Your strong, that's what type of newbie you are, your strong and you always will be." With that he advanced off into the woods, back towards the camp, leaving me shell shocked.

Short chapter I know, but the next one will be longer, this is just to get the story rolling a bit more.