Chapter Ten

Aphrodite, then Ares

The next few days had everyone walking on eggshells around Xena. No one wanted to make her mad enough to leave again, but it was hard to keep her busy. They all went to the office, they still had paying clients that needed to be satisfied. Annie decided it would be better if she took Xena with her, rather than Gabrielle or Mattie. Xena balked each time, mentioning how boring talking to clients, and doing background investigating in the field was. But since there was no real alternative except to leave Xena at home to her own devices, they all insisted.

On the fourth evening just after supper there was a pinkish flash of light that was gone almost before it was seen, and Aphrodite and Hercules were standing there, arguing – good naturedly.

"Oh, I'm gonna get you back, you can count on that, mister," Aphrodite was saying.

"Now you know it wasn't that bad. It was a joke. How else was I supposed to find you?"

"But with..." Then Aphrodite realized they were in Annie and Mattie's dining room with all four women, and Harry, watching and listening to her and Hercules.

"Well, hi, girls!" Aphrodite said happily, her "argument" with Hercules momentarily forgotten. "Gosh, you all look so good! I really need to come by more often to visit!"

"Yes, you do," Gabrielle said as she stepped up for the first hug, then it was Mattie's turn, then Annie's, and lastly Xena, who barely put her arms around her. Harry just nodded and smiled.

"Do you know what this big oaf did to me?" she asked, remembering. "Do you have any idea of how he – insulted me?"

"I was only trying to get you to show up. How else was I supposed to find you, or have you find me?"

"But fish?"

"What about fish?" Gabrielle asked, as intrigued as the others.

"Tell her," Aphrodite insisted. "Tell all of them what you did!"

Trying to keep from laughing, Hercules explained. "When you want to find a god, or have one come to you, what is the one thing that will work?"

He looked around at them but only got blank looks.

"You build a shrine. You decorate so there will be no misunderstanding who it is dedicated to. And then you place offerings on the altar. What could be simpler than that? Of course, you may have to wait a while – hours, days, maybe weeks. Unless you offer something that you know just cannot be ignored."

"FISH!" Aphrodite exclaimed. "He put FISH on my altar! Lots and lots of nasty, slimy, ugly, smelly, rotten fish! On MY altar!"

"Well, it worked. I paid a half dozen people to bring fish, and to chant and sing praises to you, and you were there in less than fifteen minutes. And here we are."

"Yeah. You said they needed me, but..." Aphrodite looked at all of them. "Why do you need me?"

"Before we get into that," Annie said. "What is it about fish that you hate so much? Almost everyone I know loves fish."

"Well, fish, being fish, aren't so bad, not really I guess. But have you ever left fish out for days, or weeks, or months? Do you have any idea how bad they smell? And do you have any idea how hard it is to get that smell out of my temples? Next to impossible, let me tell you, even for a god."

"So you really don't hate fish so much. You just hate offerings of fish," Mattie concluded.

"Correct-a-mundo!" Aphrodite said. "You guessed it! I guess."

"Well, the next time we make an offering to you – no fish," Annie said.

"Thank you. Now – why am I here?"

"Because I"m dying," Xena said quietly.

"Will you STOP saying that!" Gabrielle said, the fear very evident in her voice.

Aphrodite gave a small laugh. "Of course you're dying; you're a mortal. You all are dying."

"No," Xena contradicted, "There is something wrong with me."

"Oh?"

Gabrielle took Aphrodite's right hand and placed it on the left side of her neck, with Aphrodite's finger tips on the back of her neck and her thumb just behind her ear.

"Is there anything wrong with me, that you can tell?"

For a few seconds the Goddess of Love said nothing, then, "Not that I can tell. You're just an ordinary mortal. Well, a little bit different considering the way you got here. But other than that, you are just as normal as anyone."

"Now me," Xena said as she placed Aphrodite's left hand in the same place on the right side of her neck.

It took Aphrodite longer to react, but then her eyes began to widen, and then she quickly took her hand back as if she had touched a Hind's Blood Dagger.

"Oh. Oh! What is going on with you? Something is wrong, very wrong. And you are right – you ARE dying. And it won't be long either – months maybe. And they won't be very happy ones."

"I don't suppose you can do anything, is there?" Gabrielle asked, but not expecting anything.

"You know, things like this really aren't what I do," she said, trying to explain without sounding like she was brushing them off. "Trying to figure out stuff like this could really give me a headache, if I got headaches."

"That's all right," Annie told her. "We actually didn't expect you to be able to do anything. What we really need you to do is to try to find Ares, and then to convince him to come here.''

"We think he might be able to do something," Hercules continued.

"Oh, Bro, that takes SUCH a load off my mind!"

The relief on her face was obvious.

"But locating Ares – that is going to be a chore. This world is SO much bigger than Greece, and he could be anywhere."

"But you'll try, won't you?" Gabrielle asked, pleading in her eyes.

Aphrodite touched her cheek, then said, " Of course I will, sweetie. Of course I will. What are friends for?"

She shook herself a bit, as if getting ready for a monumental challenge, which it was for her. She looked around at everyone, then closed her eyes, concentrating.

Almost ten minutes went by; no one moved and no one said anything. Finally her eyes opened and she smiled.

"I found that rascal. So now all I have to do is convince him to come and help, right?'

"That's all," Annie agreed. "You know, if you have to, you can tell him it's about Xena. Or that Hercules is here, if that will make a difference."

"Okay. I will see you all later."

And with another slightly pink flash of light, she was gone.

"Coffee anyone?" Harry asked.

"Couldn't hurt," Mattie answered.

After they settled in the living room, Gabrielle said, "There's something I don't understand. I know Alti wants Xena dead, but she also wants to hurt her. So why didn't she make me the one to get sick and … and die? Wouldn't that hurt her more – knowing I was dying and she couldn't do anything to save me?"

"Because Alti is more diabolical than that," Annie answered. "She wanted Xena's mental state to get so bad that in a fit of rage she would kill you, and then after realizing what she had done, would suffer even more, possibly even go insane."

Annie looked over at Hercules, who nodded. "She's right. As much as Xena loves you, that is exactly what could happen. If anyone would know about that, I do. Then there is no telling what kind of havoc she would cause – wantonly killing anything or anyone she comes across, all kinds of property damage, anything."

"I am right here," Xena said to them flatly. "And I can hear everything you all are saying about me."

"Sorry," Annie apologized. "It's hard to talk about this and be objective about it as well."

Gabrielle moved closer on the sofa to Xena and took one of her hands, squeezed it gently and Xena squeezed back.

After a while, Annie turned on the TV, nothing was on anyone wanted to watch, so she put it on a PBS station about sharks, but kept the volume down to barely hearing level. Both Gabrielle and Xena dozed off on the sofa. Hercules and Annie and Mattie were in overstuffed chairs close enough to talk without having to speak loud enough to wake Xena and Gabrielle. Harry was in his bedroom talking to Maggie on the phone. It was almost an hour before there were simultaneous flashes of light that announced the arrival of Aphrodite and Ares. Everyone was instantly on their feet.

"This better be good," Ares said. "And it better be important."

Ares looked around at everyone, particularly at Xena, Gabrielle, Annie and Mattie.

"Well, I see the gang is all here, plus one," he commented, looking at Hercules last.

"Hey, Brother, want to go another ten rounds?" Ares asked, smiling, as he put up his fists and feinted with a couple of short jabs. But then he struck with a fast left jab, which would have knocked Hercules across the room, if he hadn't caught the fist and held it tight.

"Okay!" Aphrodite said loudly. "None of that. You promised!"

"Anything you say," he responded cheerfully. "Maybe next time," he said to Hercules. "So what is the big emergency?"

"It's me," Xena said. "There is something seriously wrong with me, and I am dying."

"Too bad," he answered with little sympathy. "But it happens to all you mortals."

"So you would just let her die, just like that?" Gabrielle said, angry. "So the history you two had means nothing to you?"

"Hate to break it to you, little girl, but that was way too many years ago. I've moved on, as I'm sure she has."

"Can't you at least – look at her, see what's wrong with her?" Gabrielle pleaded, the anger replaced with concern.

Ares sighed. "Sure. Why not? Since you dragged me here," looking at Aphrodite.

"Me first," Gabrielle said.

Ares put one hand on the top of her head, and waited for a few seconds.

"So what am I doing?" he asked.

"Am I normal?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied impatiently. "You are a normal, mortal human being."

"Now Xena," Gabrielle instructed.

Ares put his hand on Xena's shoulder. And like Aphrodite, discovered that there was something, several somethings, wrong with her.

"Whoa. You are seriously in need of some help. Supernatural help."

"Can you fix her?" Annie asked. "Make her as healthy as the rest of us?"

"Well, I don't know. What's in it for me?"

"I told you," Hercules said. "He's only out for himself."

"First I want to know if you can cure her," Annie said. "Then we'll talk payment."

"I suppose I could, if the price was right."

"I don't think he can," Mattie stated. "I think it's beyond his capabilities. But I bet Evander could do it. I hear he can do anything just by thinking about it."

"That's a good idea," Annie said. "Maybe we should get Evander here and let Ares get back to whatever evil war stuff he was doing."

"EVANDER?" Ares exclaimed, "That mama's boy? The one who can't cut those apron strings long enough to think for himself? You have to be joking!"

"Well," Gabrielle added, "If it's too much for you, then what choice do we have? Aphrodite, do you think you could find him?"

"Well, sure."

"Now wait just a minute!" Ares demanded. "I can do this. You don't need to get HIM."

"I'll tell you what," Annie said quietly. "How about if I sweeten the pot?"

"How?"

"If you will cure, fix, whatever, Xena so that she is just as healthy – physically and mentally as she is supposed to be, I will give you a son."

Suddenly everyone started talking at once, but Annie talked over them.

"Just think, your very own offspring that you can raise to be the son you want him to be, however you want him to be."

To make sure he was hearing right, Ares waved his hand and all but Aphrodite and Hercules were frozen in place.

"Are you serious about this? Because Xena offered me the very same thing two years ago, and even then I was suspicious of the way this so-called magical witch brought her here."

"But I was born and raised by two normal parents. Not cloned by some 'so-called magical witch'."

Ares was still skeptical. "How do I know I can trust you?"

"Look around. There are three mortals, a demigod, and a goddess, all who are witnesses to my promise. Plus, my word is good, now and forever."

Ares wave his hand again and unfroze the mortals.

"Annie, you can't be serious," Mattie said, not believing what she had said. "I know I did not just hear you offer to give Ares an heir. I cannot believe I heard you say that!"

"If it will save Xena's life. If he can save her, then you heard right." Annie was adamant about her decision.

"Somebody say something! Aphrodite?" Mattie implored her. "Tell her not to do this!"

"If this is her decision … then who am I to tell her different? And since I have my work cut out for me – getting rid of all those fish, I'm out of here."

The last words she said as she teleported away was, "I wonder where I can get a few dozen cats."

Mattie turned to Hercules. "Hercules? Say something!"

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Aphrodite. If this is the bargain Annie is willing to make, then it's not my place to tell her no."

"Gabrielle?" Mattie tried as last resort. "Surely you don't agree with this!"

"If he can save Xena's life, and Annie is willing to let him impregnate her as a condition, then I can't go against it. I'm sorry, Mattie, but I just can't."

Ignoring Xena, who had been silent the entire time, Mattie turned back to Ares. "Then why not Gabrielle? Or me? Either one of us could just as easily give you a son."

"Because I don't want a son from either one of you. I want one from Xena, or Annie in this case. So yes, I will fix whatever this Alti did to Xena, and then I will expect a 'honeymoon' night from Annie just as soon as I do."

"Then done is done," Annie said. "Xena is fixed, and you will have one night with me."