Some Reviewer: You make some excellent points! The worst memories for Snape were probably those in which he was not only in excruciating pain, but also in which he was humiliated in front of a crowd.

I also love how you pointed out that Sirius hasn't shown as much remorse as James has. I didn't make it that way intentionally, but since you brought it up… it's actually somewhat consistent with canon. Even though James is the ringleader of the group, it seems like Sirius was the meanest one.

Ganymede: Those are some really good insights as well! Perhaps the Dementors were just a "phase," since emotional highs don't tend to last forever. It is indeed VERY hard for people to change the way they are. Unfortunately, once the novelty of turning a new leaf wears off, James and Sirius might relapse back to their old ways (in canon, nearly killing Snape with the werewolf prank didn't stop them from later removing his underwear—or at least attempting to—in Snape's Worst Memory).

Thank you to everyone who is reading and enjoying the story! I hope this chapter provides some fodder for good discussion as well.

Chapter 10:

The month of June finally and mercifully came to an end, signifying the completion of a torturous year that Severus had been dying to escape. There was a ubiquitous agreement among Hogwarts students that the fifth year was the worst—due to the sheer terror and trepidation of the OWL Exams. At the tender age of sixteen, students must leave the sheltered world of parents and teachers, and enter into a new arena of challenge and adversity in which a few missteps could irreversibly alter their destinies.

But from Snape's point of view, the OWLs were the only thing that had gone right for him over the past nine months. Everything else had been a disaster.

In the first two months of the term, Severus had been beaten, choked, and hexed into the Hospital Wing nearly a dozen times. He endured broken bones, bloodied noses, knocked-out teeth, and hundreds of cuts and bruises. He also missed every single Hogsmeade trip, because his pocket money was constantly being stolen. Time and time again, Severus would find himself waking up on the corridor floor with a very sympathetic (and indignant) Lily, a mysterious headache, and empty pockets.

The week after Christmas, housemate Victor Crabbe pilfered his Transfiguration Essay and submitted it as his own. Showing up to class empty-handed had earned Severus a detention and a harsh rebuke. When word got out, Snape became a perpetual target for homework thieves. But his troubles would not end there. Early in March, the hapless Slytherin came within inches of being ripped apart by a werewolf. Professor Dumbledore had promptly forced Severus into secrecy regarding Remus Lupin's condition—under the threat of expulsion.

Potter and Black had not been forced into silence. They had not been forbidden to tell their side of the story. Soon the entire school was abuzz with rumors of Potter's glorious act of heroism towards the greasy wretch that everyone hated. But Severus was not permitted to utter one word in his own defense.

Dumbledore's partiality had only armed Potter and Black with further ammunition. Emboldened by knowledge that the truth would always be distorted in their favor, that only their voice would be heard, the two bullies became bolder than ever. They wasted no time in stripping Severus naked in front of the entire Hogwarts community… proudly displaying his ugly, scrawny body and dirty undergarments to hundreds of mocking eyes. Then came the vicious caning that had left him permanently maimed. Perhaps the werewolf would have showed more mercy.

Finally, his fellow Slytherins had not failed to notice his declining interest in the Dark Arts. It was only a matter of time before they uncovered the truth and delivered him straight into the wrath of Bellatrix Black.

But summer had come, and Snape's troubles at Hogwarts were the furthest thing from his mind. For the next three months, his only connection to the Magical World would be Lily Evans. That was all Severus ever wanted. At the moment, the two friends were seated together on the soft grass in the neighborhood park, where they had first met all those years ago.

Lily broke the silence. "Remember when we used to go on the swings?"

Severus cracked a rare smile. "Those were the good times." With a grunt, he hoisted his weight onto the right side, and re-applied the Cushioning Charm to his left buttock.

"You never realize you were in the good old days, until they've passed." Lily reached into her purse to retrieve a small photo album. Together, they spent the next few minutes thumbing through page after page of their shared childhood, sharing tender memories and nostalgic comments. Soon they arrived at a particularly corny photo of two six year-olds having a pillow fight in Lily's bedroom.

The redhead quirked a mischievous eyebrow at her friend. "Little Sevvie looks so cute in his pink flannel pajamas and bunny slippers."

"I am not cute!" Severus protested in mock indignation. "I never was, and I never will be!"

Lily turned to a picture of two children strapped in a cart, spiraling through the air along a lengthy, loopy, brightly-colored ribbon of roller coaster track. Her green eyes sparkled with delight. "Remember this? Mum took us to the county fair when we were eight. The roller coaster was so much fun! You couldn't stop screaming every time we went upside-down!"

"No I didn't!" he exclaimed. "Severus Snape does NOT scream!"

Lily poked him lightly in the cheek. "Oh yes you did!"

As they continued meandering through various realms of childhood recollections, they soon arrived at a topic that could not be avoided for much longer: Petunia Evans.

Lily suddenly became deeply melancholic. "We haven't spoken in years. Sometimes I feel like I've lost my sister."

"Have you written to her?" Snape queried.

"Yeah," Lily sighed. "But she never writes back. I think she feels that I've pushed her out of my life, because I found something better."

"But you didn't choose Hogwarts. Hogwarts chose you." Snape flicked a dandelion puff into Lily's face. The redhead retaliated by playfully wrestling him to the ground—taking great care to avoid his left hip—and sticking a bright pink flower in his hair.

Severus tucked the flower into the breast pocket of his shirt. "If Petunia knew the direction our world was headed, I think she'd be glad she wasn't allowed to join it."

"What do you mean, Sev?"

The greasy-haired boy cast a wistful glance at a group of Muggle teenagers engaged in some carefree banter on the other side of the park. "We choose our lifelong friends and political affiliation at age eleven. Then we spend the next seven years preparing to die for them. I think Muggles are the lucky ones."

Snape chewed his already unkempt and uneven nails. He spoke slowly and deliberately. "You-Know-Who is gaining power. People are more divided than ever on this so-called Blood Purity thing. I know people who've already gotten the Dark Mark. It'll be impossible to stay neutral for much longer."

"It is scary," Lily agreed. "In a few years, we'll be at war with kids we grew up with. People who went to classes together, played Quidditch together, ate meals together… will be killing each other on the battlefield."

"I don't think I'd lose any sleep if James Potter or Sirius Black got killed," Severus admitted.

At the utterance of this gloomy realization, the duo lapsed into silence. The summer sun glowed brightly in the immaculately cloudless sky, bathing them in warmth. The grassy field was a dazzling kaleidoscope of wildflowers, and the air inundated with a delicate floral fragrance. High overhead, butterflies flitted to and fro. The gentle summer day stood in sharp dissonance with the somber faces of two teenagers who were deeply concerned about the dark and twisted world that would soon become their reality.

"Sometimes I think Quidditch is bad for morale," Lily declared.

"What makes you say that?"

Lily hesitated. Wasn't the answer obvious? Wasn't it a foregone conclusion that in the current political climate, the last thing Hogwarts needed was another source of disunity? Hadn't Severus spent the past five years being relentlessly bullied by Quidditch players and their adoring fans?

Nevertheless, Lily decided to clarify her point. "Quidditch is probably responsible for eighty percent of all the fights that go on in school. And wouldn't you agree that Quidditch players—especially the guys—are some of the most arrogant and obnoxious people we have at Hogwarts?"

"Fair enough. Nobody can disagree with that." Severus dropped his head and stared at the ground, not meeting her eyes. "But maybe Quidditch is necessary. It'll toughen us for when we actually do go to war."

Now Lily was really bemused. "Sev, what are you getting at? I never thought I'd hear you defending Quidditch."

The black-haired boy grimaced slightly, "Lily, there is something I have to tell you. Please don't laugh at me. I know you'll think I'm crazy and you probably won't believe me because it's the weirdest and most ridiculous thing you'd expect me to do… but I have a good reason and if you'll just hear me out, maybe it wouldn't be such a big—"

"Come on, just spit it out! I promise I won't laugh at you."

Severus clenched his fists tightly around two bundles of grass and drew a deep breath. "I'm trying out for the Quidditch Team next year. I borrowed a school broom and have been practicing every day," he blurted.

But Lily didn't laugh. She didn't roll her eyes and berate him at length for such a ridiculous idea. She didn't make a single snide remark. In fact, she seemed genuinely interested.

"Really? That's interesting. Sev, I never knew you liked Quidditch."

"I don't," Snape admitted. "Ever since our first flying lesson, I've hated Quidditch. Do you remember what happened?"

Lily nodded grimly. "Of course I do."

October 14, 1971…

It was the first flying lesson. Row after row of nervous but excited Gryffindor and Slytherin first-years stood lined up by their brooms. At Madam Hooch's command, they attempted to summon them.

"Up!" In an instant, James Potter's broomstick leapt into his outstretched hand. Mere moments later, Sirius Black's followed suit.

One by one, brooms leapt into the air when called. Before long, only one broom remained stationary in the grass.

Eleven year-old Severus Snape's gaunt, sallow little face was stricken with desperation as his broom refused to move an inch. "Up! Up! Up!"

James giggled derisively behind his back. "Look at Snivelly. Even the broom hates him."

"Maybe they put a Grease-Repelling Charm on the broom." Sirius whispered back. A group of Gryffindor boys burst into laughter as they continued to enjoy Snape's humiliating incompetence.

Soon it was time to fly. Madam Hooch ordered the first-years to line up single-file, and do three laps around the Quidditch pitch. Snape's knees were trembling. What if he was the only one who failed to get off the ground?

At the whistle, Snape kicked off the ground and joined his classmates in circling the stadium. He was by far the slowest flyer and he had a hard time keeping his broom straight, but at least he was staying in the air…

WHAM!

James crashed into him from the right, forcing him to spiral off course and miss a goal post by inches. Severus had barely managed to get his broom under control again, when Sirius charged at him head-on. Snape quickly swerved to avoid getting hit. But the onslaught continued. James and Sirius repeatedly rammed into Severus from all directions, knocking him against the walls and goal posts. Each time, the little Slytherin only barely managed to avoid a devastating injury. But he was getting increasingly flustered, and his stamina and coordination were waning.

Finally, Severus completely lost control of his broom when Sirius dive-bombed him from above. In wild attempt at dodging aside, Severus lost his grip on the handle and tumbled off the broom. He dropped thirty feet onto the earth below, landing with a sickening crunch on one wrist. The greasy-haired boy lay in a heap, paralyzed by the agony of a compound fracture that had splintered the carpal bones into no fewer than a dozen fragments.

"Broken wrist," Madam Hooch mumbled. She half-dragged, half-carried Severus to the Hospital Wing, before exchanging a quick word with the Headmaster.

Soon Professor Dumbledore dropped by the Hospital Wing. Severus bolted upright in bed. "Professor Dumbledore, it was James Potter and Sirius Black again! They made me—"

The Headmaster lifted a hand to silence him. "That will do, Severus."

"But sir, you have to believe me this time! Madam Hooch—"

Dumbledore knelt down to the boy's eye level. "Severus dear, I understand that you feel embarrassed and humiliated by your performance in the Flying Lesson. I understand you are upset that you weren't able to keep up with your classmates today. But do you think it's fair that you take your frustration out on James and Sirius? Does it make sense to blame them for your own embarrassment, instead of simply practicing to get better?"

That was the last time Severus Snape ever petitioned the Headmaster.

Severus reached for his wand and applied a fresh Cushioning Charm to the patch of grass he was sitting on. "When Potter sees me in the air while he's stuck in the stands, that'll send him a message: That he can't get away with this rubbish. He can chop off my arse and stab it with a basilisk fang, but I'm not letting him ruin Quidditch for me."

He fiddled absently with a blade of grass and chewed his nails. Lily was the only person he would ever express tenderness and vulnerability in front of. She was the only person who'd ever earned the right to see his defenses stripped away and his soul laid bare. For five long years, James Potter and Sirius Black had made his life hell—always relying on their popularity and charisma to insulate them from punishment. Quidditch stars got away with murder.

The way forward was clear. Severus Snape would reclaim his dignity and patch up the broken pieces of his life, by conquering the one thing that had empowered others to bully him for five years.

Lily smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I'm behind you one hundred percent. I really hope you make the team. But Sev, I hope you're doing this for the right reasons."

Chapter 11 is next! We will be back at Hogwarts, and watching Snape try his hand at Quidditch.