Chapter 10:

Revelations

She didn't think she'd be able to sleep after everything she had been through, but her body disagreed. She was so exhausted that she didn't even hear Caleb and Hanna when they got in. The next morning when she got up the first thing she did was call the doctor. As luck would have it, they had an availability in the afternoon. She made the appointment, then took a shower and got dressed.

She went into the kitchen to get something to eat. Hanna was standing next to the stove eating a bowl of what looked like leftover macaroni and cheese. She was staring at a tea kettle waiting for it to start steaming.

"Morning." Emily yawned.

"Hey. You sleep okay?" Hanna asked.

"Yeah, pretty good." Emily nodded. "Caleb still in bed?"

"No. He had a tux fitting this morning."

Emily made some toast and got some water and then walked over to the table and sat down.

"Everything go okay with Pam?" Hanna asked as she pulled the steaming tea kettle off of the stove.

"You know you can never call my mom that to her face, right?" Emily asked.

Hanna shrugged and then laughed.

"Did she buy the wedding excuse?" Hanna questioned.

"Yep. I told her you were still trying to narrow down bridesmaid dresses…even though you haven't asked us yet." Emily paused and looked over at Hanna. "You are going to ask us, right?"

"You've got a lot more to worry about than that." Hanna poured them each a cup of tea.

"It's not that big of a deal." Emily downplayed it.

Hanna gave Emily her typical "I don't believe you" side-eye.

"You kinda need your heart to live." She walked back over to the stove.

"I have a heart, Hanna." Emily rolled her eyes. "It's just not entirely functional."

Hanna went to put the tea kettle back on the stove and accidentally brushed her hand up against the hot eye. She jerked back and dropped the tea kettle. It hit the floor with a loud clang. Emily dropped her toast and nearly fell out of her chair.

"Are you okay?" Emily questioned.

"I'm fine." Hanna ran her hand under some cool water. She turned around to face Emily and noticed that her hands were trembling. "Why are you the one shaking? I'm the one with the scalded flesh." Her eyes widened. "Oh, crap, I'm not like...giving you a heart attack am I?"

"What did I tell you about acting like a paranoid helicopter mom? I get enough of that from my doctors." She scoffed. "I'm not going to die if you make a little noise."

"Yeah, Caleb and I figured that out last night," Hanna said under her breath. "We really didn't wake you?"

"No. Why?" Emily asked.

"Because we nearly broke the damn bed," she said sheepishly. "Drunk sex is the best." She sighed happily.

"Well, I'm glad I'm not cramping your style." Emily laughed.

"Sorry." Hanna bent over and picked up the tea kettle.

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad at least one of us is getting some." She leaned over to pick up her toast.

"So, what gives with the nerves?" Hanna motioned to Emily's still shaking hands.

"Yesterday I had to take this new medication and it's made me all jittery. I feel like I've had a triple shot of macchiato and I'm about to jump out of my skin." Emily tossed the bread down on her plate and glanced at her phone. "And...on top of that, A is threatening to tell my mom about everything...my heart, dropping out of school...all of it." Emily ground her teeth in anger.

"What? When did this happen?" Hanna spun around.

"Yesterday after I had coffee with my mom," Emily said.

"I was wondering why you suddenly went radio silent." Hanna looked at her in disbelief. "How could A possibly know about your heart?"

"How does A know anything? Bitch probably has me wired and I don't even know it. She...he...it...whatever is probably hiring a sky-writer to tell the whole town about it." She groaned. She didn't want to think about all the heartache her lies were sure to cause. "And I thought you and Elliott knowing was hard."

"Wait, back up. Elliott knows, too?"

"He saw me at the pharmacy getting my meds." She glanced at the clock. "Speaking of…they're in my bag. Can you hand it to me?"

"Wait, if Elliott knows and you got a text from A..." She grabbed Emily's purse and walked over to her. "Don't you think that's a little suspicious?"

"I got the text before he found out about it." Emily explained.

"Oh...well...he still skeeves me out." Hanna frowned. "Spencer doesn't like him either."

"I gathered from the whole 'Doctor Doom' thing." Emily nodded. "Believe me, I'm not his biggest fan either."

"God, why does this town breed such creepy people?"

"Maybe we're just jaded." Emily shrugged.

"Years of torture will do that to a person." Hanna gave Emily her bag and then sat down across from her.

Emily paused before she opened the flap of her purse. She'd been looking over her shoulder for so long that it had become second nature for her to make sure no one was around when she took her meds.

"Relax, Em. You don't have to hide it from me anymore." Hanna noticed that she was lost in thought.

"Yeah, I know." Emily grabbed her medication. "It's just weird. I'm not used to an audience."

"I'm not an audience." Hanna shrugged indifferently, trying to make her feel better. She grabbed a magazine and started flipping through it.

Well, at least out of all her friends, the one who had found out was the one who had a habit of saying the right thing at the right time. Spencer would be having a nervous breakdown, Aria would be looking at her with sad puppy dog eyes, and Alison would be all over her trying to mother her.

She took her meds, and that was that. They went back to having breakfast. Hanna was just about to finish her tea when her phone chirped. Emily's phone went off a few seconds later. They looked at one another and then Hanna decided to be brave and see who it was from.

"It's just Aria." Hanna breathed a sigh of relief. "She's going to talk to Ella and Byron to see if Ezra is telling the truth about seeing them together."

"Okay, did I miss a memo telling us it's okay to call our friends' parents by their first names?" Ali did it, too, and it drove her crazy.

"We're adults." Hanna shrugged.

"You're eating macaroni and cheese for breakfast."

"So?"

Emily rolled her eyes. She scrolled past Aria's message on her phone and looked at the messages from Alison and sighed.

"Hey, have you gotten any messages from Ali?" Emily asked.

"No. Why? Have you?"

"Of course," Emily said. "She's reaching out to me…alone. She thinks I'll come and hear her out."

"To be honest I'm kind of surprised you haven't." Hanna admitted.

"It's too much," Emily replied. "Keeping this secret from my mom has been hard enough. I can't handle dealing with The Ali Show right now. I'm already strung out enough as it is." Emily grumbled. "God, this is so typical. Why does she always do this? Why does she always come to me first and just expect me to…"

"Em, shut up and take a breath before you pass out." Hanna took a sip of her tea. "You got anything in there to take the edge off?" she motioned towards Emily's purse.

"My cardiologist is pretty strict about what I can take." Emily shook her head.

"I meant for me." Hanna laughed.

"Sure, I'll ask for the friend discount at my appointment today," Emily said sarcastically.

"You're going to the doctor today?" Hanna asked.

"Yeah. I've got an appointment at 1."

"Want me to go with you?"

"No. It's just a follow up. Should be pretty routine."

"You sure?" Hanna questioned. "I can play with all the equipment they have in the room and you can scold me and tell me to stop behaving like a child."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I can handle this, Han," Emily said.

"You are the most stubborn individual I have ever known."

"Pot, meet kettle," Emily replied sarcastically.

They spent the rest of the morning trading quips and talking about Hanna's wedding. She would have gone on about it all day, but she had a couple of errands to run. As she was leaving she noticed Emily staring at her phone.

"Why don't you just call her?" Hanna grabbed her purse.

"Is it that obvious?" Emily asked.

"You do this thing with your mouth where your lips curl up whenever you're thinking about her." Hanna teased her.

"Goodbye, Hanna." Emily glared at her.

Hanna walked out of the loft laughing. Emily chuckled at hearing her laughter echoing in the hall. She ate a quick lunch and then got ready to leave for her doctor's appointment. As she was getting her things together she heard someone outside the door rustling around.

"Hanna? Did you forget something?" Emily walked towards the door. She went to open it. "Did you forget to get the key from Caleb?"

But it wasn't Hanna at the door.

"Ali?"

The first thing Emily noticed was how tense she was.

"Uh…" Ali stuttered, "…you know, I know you don't want to see me. I got here and I realized…I'm sorry. I'll leave."

"Is something wrong?" Emily questioned.

Ali's eyes darted around the hallway nervously.

"Ali, what is it?"

"Sara Harvey came to see me." Ali sighed.

Emily felt her blood beginning to boil. She should have killed that peroxide Barbie knock-off in the cemetery. Emily thought for a few seconds. What if Sara had overheard her in the cemetery? She had been talking to her dad about everything…including what was going on with her heart. She had gotten the text from A threatening to tell her mother about her heart before she ran into Elliott. That just left Bimbo Barbie. If Sara Harvey wasn't A, she was most certainly helping whoever it was.

"Why would she come to see you?" Emily asked.

"I think…I think we were wrong about her." Ali's voice was laden with anxiety.

"I'll say." Emily scoffed. She clenched her fists together in anger.

"I think Sara and Charlotte were closer than we thought. I think Sara actually cared about her."

Emily loosened her fists. She hadn't been expecting that, though she should have...considering that Sara had been visiting Charlotte's grave. But that had been a ruse to follow Emily, hadn't it?

"What did Sara tell you?"

"She said that after the trial she felt guilty. She went to visit Charlotte to let her know how sorry she was. She told her that after the accident…when she was in the hospital she spent a lot of time lashing out at everyone who was trying to help her. After a while she said she realized that it wasn't them she was angry at…it was herself. She hated her life and who she was and everything she'd become. She told me that Charlotte understood, and that she forgave her."

"Don't tell me you bought her crap." Emily rolled her eyes. "Don't you think Charlotte would have told you?"

"No. Sara asked her not to. She said she told Charlotte she felt guilty about hurting us, too, and that she wanted to make amends in her own way."

"Of course she did." Emily grumbled. "Why would you believe a word she says? Sara Harvey lies. That's what she does."

"Not about this. It felt…real," Alison said. "I haven't met many people who genuinely cared about Charlotte. I know when someone is being insincere. I looked her in the eyes...and I saw pain in them. I saw the loss of my sister looking right back at me. I think in a weird way...they understood each other." She shifted uncomfortably. "Can I come in and talk for a bit?"

"I uh…actually can't do this now." Emily looked at her watch. "I have somewhere I have to be and…"

"Please?" She begged.

Emily looked at her and couldn't find it in her heart to say no. She had a few minutes to spare. She waved her inside. They sat down on the couch.

"How did you know I was staying here?" Emily asked.

"I stopped by your house," Ali said. "Your mom mentioned you were helping Caleb and Hanna with the wedding." She looked around the loft. "Did you get my messages?"

"Yeah." Emily nodded. "Sorry. I've just been kind of busy."

"So…you're not still mad about the way I acted at dinner?"

"Oh, no. I'm still mad." Emily admitted. "But not as mad as I was that night. How could you think Aria would hurt you like that?"

"I let my emotions cloud my judgment. I'm human. I do that sometimes." She smiled half-heartedly. "Look, I shouldn't have gone off on you for protecting Aria. You were just doing what you always do. Honestly, Em, I don't think you realize how many times you've brought things back together after they've fallen apart. Your loyalty is one of the reasons I admire you so much." She put her hand on Emily's knee. "That, and you know how to keep me in line when I go off the rails."

"It's what I do." Emily felt her heart pacing in her chest. Alison's touch did things to her that drove her wild.

"I really am sorry. I have been so caught up in trying to find out what happened to Charlotte," she sighed. "I just feel like I owe it to her to figure this out."

"Yeah, I get it." Emily nodded. "I felt that way about you once upon a time." She had not been able to let go of Alison, even after the whole world thought she'd been murdered.

"Did you have dreams about me?" Ali's face was piqued with curiosity.

"All the time." Emily put her hand on top of Ali's.

"It helps ease the pain," Ali said. "I had this amazing dream about Charlotte last night. She wanted me to know she loved me and that she was proud of me."

"I had a dream like that after my dad's funeral. I fell asleep on the couch and he woke me up. He was wearing his dress blues and he looked so handsome. He came to say goodbye."

She'd never told that to anyone before. She'd also never been able to think about that dream without crying before. Every time she was with Alison her pain disappeared.

"You think it was really him?" Ali asked.

"I like to think so," she said. "I was a mess that night though. It was all such a blur. I don't remember much of it. Toby said you came by…"

"What?" Ali's head snapped up. "What did he say?"

"Nothing." Emily stared at her in confusion. She hadn't expected that kind of reaction. "Why?"

Ali tensed up and looked away.

"Ali?" Emily questioned in confusion. "What the hell did you two talk about?"

"Look, can we just drop it? It wasn't my finest moment…"

"No. After everything we've been through I think you owe me an explanation." Emily refused to budge.

Ali started tapping her foot anxiously. Emily didn't care if she had to wait all day. She had decided she wasn't leaving the loft until she knew what was going on.

"It was you, okay?" Ali finally stopped fidgeting and turned to face Emily. "We talked about you."

"So? Why are you acting like such a spaz about it?"

"Because…when I went to your house that night it wasn't for you." Her voice cracked. "It was for me. I went there for the wrong reasons…and Toby knew it."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's complicated." Ali lowered her head to try and hide the tears forming in her eyes. "It's just…after I talked to him…I heard myself, like really heard myself, and I realized that the only reason I was there was to make myself feel better."

All Emily could do was stare at her in confusion.

"You had been gone for so long," Ali said softly. "I was lonely and lost...and you're the only person who knows how to help me find myself," she sighed. "Your dad had just died and all I was thinking about was how I was feeling. What kind of person does that?" She had a look on her face that was a mixture of regret and disgust. "You were grieving, and I showed up on your front porch because I wanted something for myself. I was selfish. And talking to Toby made me realize that I had no clue who I am when I'm not with you. I knew that until I figured that out…until I could become the person you deserved...I couldn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"That I wanted you to stay. Here. With me." Alison slowly raised her head. She had a tear rolling down her cheek. "I don't like who I am when you're not in my life."

Emily instinctively reached up and brushed the tear away with her thumb.

"I would have stayed for you." Emily gently pushed her hand against Alison's cheek. "Ali, I would do anything for you. You know that."

"You're missing the point." Alison shook her head. "It wasn't right. I wasn't right. Not for you. Not then. The Ali that came to your house that night was not the girl you see when you look at me. You deserved better than that person. You deserved better than me."

"How could you possibly think that?" Emily wanted to call her an idiot, but she was too shocked at this revelation.

"Because even though you have always been sure of who I am, I haven't." Alison peered into Emily's eyes. "I would have hurt you, Em. I would have brought you in like I always do and then pulled away the second it got too real. I was still trying to figure out who I was."

She turned and moved in closer to Emily. She took Emily's hands and smiled softly. Emily looked at her and saw something she'd never seen before. There was a vulnerability in her eyes. Emily felt Alison's hands tighten around hers. Emily's hands were trembling, but she wasn't sure if it was Alison shaking or her. Ali was holding on like she was afraid to let go.

"I wasn't sure of anything then." She loosened her grip on one of Emily's hands. "But I'm sure now." After a second she let go and placed her free hand on Emily's face.

"Ali..." Her head felt like it was spinning.

"I love you, Emily." She interrupted her. "I'm in love with you."

Emily had waited so long to hear the words that this felt like a dream. She opened her mouth to reply, but was too stunned to speak. Then she realized that actions were louder than words. They leaned in at the same time and their lips crashed together with a passion Emily hadn't felt in years. Alison brushed her fingers against Emily's cheek and traced her jawline until her hand came to rest upon her neck. Emily felt Alison's other hand slowly moving up her thigh and along her hip. She leaned closer to Alison and trailed a line of kisses along her neck. Alison put her hand on the nape of Emily's neck and pulled her closer. The heat from Alison's skin made her shudder.

Her head was screaming at her to stop...to pull away before something happened to her and Alison got hurt. But her heart ignored all logic and reason. It was too late. Alison was already in love with her. Even if she could pull away, she didn't want to. Being here…with Alison made everything else disappear. Emily let her mind wander…away from California, away from Rosewood, away from all the drama in her life. She let go of everything…everything but Alison. All sense of time ceased to exist. She let herself melt under Alison's touch. She stayed in her own head…miles away from the reality of life…until her phone interrupted their throes of passion. It was the reminder she'd set for her appointment. Emily sat up.

"Are you not into this?" Ali asked.

"No…no, I'm totally into it." Emily smiled. She glanced at the clock above the stove. "I just…I really do have to be somewhere." She looked at Ali. She stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles in her clothes. She grabbed her purse.

"I didn't figure you for a hit it and quit it kind of girl." Ali smirked at her seductively.

She was leaning against her elbow with a mischievous look on her face. It was nearly impossible for Emily to not jump right back into where they'd left off. She pulled Alison off the couch.

"Ohhh, are we going back to the bedroom?" Ali lifted her eyebrows with a grin.

Emily laughed.

"No." Emily walked with her towards the door. "I am going to run some errands, and you are going to go home…before you get me into any more trouble." She pulled her in for a hug.

When Alison pulled away she pushed a strand of hair out of Emily's face and smiled.

"You have such beautiful eyes."

"You are making it very difficult for me to leave." Emily reached for the door.

"I know." Ali laughed. "That was kind of my plan."

She slipped her hand over Emily's and they walked out of the loft. When they got outside Emily gently squeezed Alison's hand.

"I'll call you later, okay?"

"One more for the road." Ali leaned forward and planted her lips on Emily's. Their lips fought for dominance.

Emily felt a strange sensation move through her body when they pulled away from one another. The tips of her fingers started to tingle. At first she thought it was her body reacting to Alison's touch, but after a few seconds she realized it was something more. She could hear her pulse pounding in her head and she realized what was happening.

Please, no. She can't see this happen.

Her vision started to blur. Alison noticed the peculiar look on her face. Emily saw her mouth moving, asking if she was okay, but all she heard was a buzzing sound. She tried to take a breath, but it felt like her chest was frozen. Everything around her started to fade to black. She fought to keep her eyes open. She tried to focus on Alison. She was trying to stay conscious for her sake.

Then she saw the look she'd been dreading. Ali's expression slowly changed to one of panic. Ali reached out to her, but Emily's sight faded completely. Her legs went numb and she collapsed on to the ground.

"Emily!" Ali cried.

She fell to the ground next to her and put her hand against Emily's cheek.

"Em?" She choked out. Emily looked like she was barely breathing. Her lips were starting to turn a weird shade of whitish blue. "Oh, my God."

Ali's eyes widened in terror. She fumbled around and reached for her cell phone, but she was so panicked that she couldn't find it. She looked around frantically, but didn't see anyone. When she opened up her mouth to cry out for help she felt like she was yelling into a dark abyss. She looked back at Emily and started to sob. She put one hand on Emily's arm and the other against her face. She pressed her palm against Emily's cheek, begging for her to wake up. But Emily was completely still.