READERS: Again, that you for the wonderful comments. I look forward to the reviews every time I update this story. Speaking of updates, I went back to previous chapters and changed some details that were bugging me. I tried to take some of the harshness out because that was not my intention. If you are reading this story for the first time, you didn't miss anything.

This, by far, is my favorite chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are very welcomed.

To this day, Norm couldn't remember what movie he watched with his girlfriend that night. He did remember that his girlfriend was fairly persistence in her efforts to get him to make love to her. They had done it before and her parents were out of the house so there was nothing stopping him. Nothing except the constant worry about what was happening back at his own home. Norman knew, even at a young age, that he was a magnificent lover. He wasn't arrogant about it in the least, just quietly confident in his hidden natural talent. But he had feelings for this girl and he wasn't about to make love to her in order to forget about his own worries. He also felt that somehow it would have been disrespectful to his mother and her "special trips" if he engaged in that kind of activity now. He did cuddle on the sofa with his girl, ate popcorn and watched something on television. After the movie ended, he gave her a long, passionate kiss and said goodnight.

He drove home, not knowing what to expect to find when he got back to the house. He silently prayed that things would just be like normal, like his little brother hadn't just almost killed himself and had to face the consequences of his actions. He tried not to think about his big brother having to handle the outcome of those consequences all on his own. Norm knew it had to be very difficult on both of them and he wished that there would have been something more he could have done. Most importantly, he hoped that whatever happened, it wouldn't ruin their relationship with each other. Everyone in his family had lost enough already.

When he got back to the house, he parked his baby, and make the long trip up the walkway to the back porch. He noticed the ash tray next to the porch steps was full of smoked cigarette butts. Disgusting habit, he thought to himself and dumped the tray into the outside garbage can. He couldn't help but recognize the outward sign that Sig had been very nervous to smoke so much in one night. He wondered if the excessive smoking happened before or after the punishment was handed out.

Norm climbed the steps and opened the unlocked door. He turned off the porch light and locked the door behind him. He flipped on the light switch and illuminated the kitchen. No blood to be seen. Everything looked to be in order. He stood there perfectly still for a while and listened. The house was quiet, all except for the tumbling of the dryer and the metal zipper of the drying jeans clanging against the dryer drum. After listening for a few minutes, no screaming and he hung his keys up on the hook and headed directly upstairs.

The first thing he did was the first thing on his mind. He went directly to Edgar's room and stood in the doorway. The door was open but the room was dark inside except for the moonlight coming in through the window. He could see his little brother was sound asleep under a blanket and was laying on his stomach, arms curled up under his pillow.

Norm wondered why the bedroom door was left open and he had a feeling someone left it open on purpose, he just wasn't sure who that someone was. All three of them always slept with their bedroom doors shut since they became teenagers. When they were little, they often slept with their doors open in case a monster came out of the closet and one of their parents, well, just mom, would hear them crying. She was always there in an instant, providing the magic "cup of water" and a soft kiss to the forehead. Norm leaned against the doorframe for a minute and had to ask himself who would come now and chase the monsters away. If Edgar did have a nightmare or needed someone in the middle of the night for whatever reason, who would come? Duh, me, idiot. Or Sig. I guess either one of us. We wouldn't be mom but someone had to come, right? He knew for certain no one came in the last six months because no one in this house would have been there to physically or mentally do it.

The guilt hit Norman like a ton of bricks. He thought about all those times he sat in his truck, not wanting to come into the house because mom wouldn't be around. He realized now it was very possible that at some point while sitting in his truck, there was someone else already in the house waiting around for him. Selfish.

Norman walked softly into the room and took a closer look at his brother. Even in only the moonlight, he could tell the kid had been crying not long ago. His face still had tear marks that ran down his cheeks. Of course he cried. What did I expect? Oh, God, please let it not have been that bad. Norman wanted to wake his brother up and confirm that he was ok but the kid had just been through hell in the last few days and he needed to rest. He looked totally wiped out. Norman also notice how young and innocent his brother looked and it reminded him that Edgar still had a lot of growing up to do. He wasn't going to do it alone, though, Norman knew that now.

As softly as he came into the room, Norm turned and left, leaving the bedroom door open. He walked down the hallway to his own room and went in. He sat down on his bed and started to take off his shoes when he heard the sound of very muffled sobbing. He froze. He listened and could tell it was not coming from Edgar's room. It was coming from Sig's. Well, not going to hang out here and listen to that. He put his shoes back on and left his room. He checked on Edgar again, just to confirm the noise wasn't coming from him and went back downstairs.

He went out into the garage and looked at the motorbike. It was a disaster. Twisted metal and bent tires greeted him almost like there were laughing at him. Keep laughing, he thought. Norman loved a challenge and would obsess over it until he solved the riddle. He worked on the bike for about an hour, making at least a little progress and decided he was pretty tired himself. He put away his tools and left the garage. He had gotten himself covered in oil and dirt so he headed up to take a shower.

When he got upstairs, he looked in on Edgar again from the doorway and then went to his room to grab some clean clothes. Then he went into the bathroom, grabbed a quick shower, brushed his teeth and got dried off. He dressed in a t-shirt and sleep pants and took his dirty clothes down the hallway to the hamper. It was full of laundry that needed to be done. Tomorrow, he thought, I'm too tired now. He dropped his dirty clothes in and headed to his room.

As he passed Sig's room, he stopped for a minute. Sig's bedroom door was shut and Norm listened outside of his room. He didn't hear anything and prayed his oldest brother had drifted off to sleep. Sig must have been exhausted, too. Norm heard him pacing around his room the night before when he and Edgar had gotten into the argument in the kitchen. Norm thought about how all of this must have been on an 18 year old just graduated from high school. His heart went out to his oldest brother and he silently promised himself that the three of them would be in this together. He wasn't about to let Sig take all of this on himself.

Norm headed to his room but thought, one last check, and passed by his own room and went to look in on his little brother. When he entered to room and looked down at the sleeping form, he saw two dark green eyes staring back at him. Thank you, God.

"Can't sleep?" Norm asked softly.

Edgar's voice was a little hoarse when he replied, "I don't think it's me that can't sleep, Norm."

Norman gave him a crooked smile, "Sorry, I was working on the bike. Did I wake you up?"

Edgar smiled back, "It's ok, I'm glad actually" but had trouble talking. His throat felt like sandpaper. Between the crying and crying and more crying, he had dehydrated himself.

Norm noticed how hoarse his brother sounded. "Want some water?" he asked gently.

Edgar nodded gratefully. Norm turned and left the room. Edgar listened to his brother's footsteps as he went down the stairs and into the kitchen. He heard the glass getting pulled out of the cabinet and the freezer door open. He heard the ice hitting the glass and the water running.

Edgar was a little surprised Norm didn't just go into the bathroom and grab one of those little Dixie cups by the sink and fill it with water. It would have been much easier. But it wasn't about what was easier. That wouldn't have been good enough. Little Dixie cup with just slightly cool water wasn't good enough for him, at least according to Norman. Norman was going to make sure he had ice cold water in a normal size drinking glass. Norman was tired, he had worked all day, stayed up late worrying, no doubt, and almost gotten himself killed but that didn't stop him from making sure his brother had the best, was comfortable and that he had done all that he could for him.

Edgar laid there in the moonlight and wondered how the hell he could have ever convinced himself that his brothers didn't care about him or love him or want what was best for him. Little things that got purposefully ignored along the way came flooding back to him, like the plate of food, the hot tea, the worry in Sig's eyes when he came home late the night before, the fact the Norm was still waiting on the sofa when he walked by, the ring, and now an ice cold glass of water. These were just a few of the things they always did for him, even when mom was still alive. Oh yeah, they beat the shit out of him on occasion (mostly Sig), kicked over his blocks when he was little (just for the fun of it), hid his favorite stuffed animal (always in a place too high for him to reach) and would purposely try and get him in trouble by picking on him at restaurants when the family was trying to have a nice meal (that was Norm's specialty). But he would also catch them turning and looking back on the walk home from school to make sure he was still lagging behind them. They would pull him out of the street when a car was coming and he was too busy playing to notice, of course smacking him on the back of the head while doing it. Lots and lots of little things that added up to one big thing - L.O.V.E. I AM an idiot, Edgar thought. God, I've missed them.

Edgar listened to the dryer door being opened. Then a minute later, slamming shut. He listened to his brother coming up the steps and into his room holding his folded laundry (another little thing) and carrying a large glass of ice water.

"Do you want the light on?" Norm asked, dropping the folded clothes on Edgar's desk chair.

"No, I can see pretty good. Full moon tonight." Edgar said, propping himself up on his elbows.

"That explains a lot," Norm said flatly.

Norm walked over and handed his brother the glass. Edgar took it and drank the entire contents in under a few seconds. Norman thought he looked like a man that just came back from the desert. Edgar handed the glass back to his brother with an "ahhh", listening to the ice clinking at the bottom and said, "Thanks, I was really thirsty."

Norm put the glass on the nightstand and noticed his older brother's class ring sitting under the lamp. He didn't say anything about it but it caught his eye immediately. He wondered for a fleeting second if anyone would think to get him one this year since he would be graduating in the spring. Norman didn't think his father would remember something like that. Doesn't matter, its only a ring. Norm turned back to his little brother who was staring at him intently. I have so many questions. The kid probably doesn't want to talk about it. He's tired, let him sleep.

"I'll go and let you get some rest," Norm said softly as he turned to leave.

"Stay" was the soft reply, followed up with a toss back of the blanket. Edgar slid on his belly over to the other side of the comfy queen-size bed (how did I get the big room again) and couldn't hide the tiniest of winces when the fabric of the soft blanket brushed against a rather tender area of his person.

Norm noticed the wince in an instant. His heart clenched and he remembered what exactly it was that had him so worried for the last few hours. He couldn't help himself and just slipped out, "Oh, kid, you still hurtin'?" he asked softly.

Edgar just shrugged if off.

"There's some ice left in the glass," Norman said with a smile, trying to get his brother to do the same.

Edgar wasn't in the mood for smiling so he patted the newly opened side of the bed, a non-verbal gesture of "Get in" to his brother.

Norm stood there for a minute. This wasn't something they ever really did, not even when they were little. They never slept together. Never is a funny word, Norm. You never know when the monster is going to jump out of the closet. Better be here when it does. Norm climbed in and laid down, putting both hands under his head on the pillow. The bed was warm and soft and felt wonderful. Edgar tossed the blanket over him and settle back down on his belly, his face turned towards his brother and laid his head down on the pillow. He could make out Norm's profile perfectly in the moonlight and he could see that he was biting on his lower lip. They were both quiet for a while. Finally, Norm spoke.

"Well, you're still alive," he said with his usual sarcasm.

"So are you, big brother," Edgar went right to referencing the night's activities.

"Lucky, I guess," Norm caught Edgar's meaning.

Edgar got very serious. He wasn't in the mood for Norm's typical dry humor intended to side track difficult topics. Normally, he loved his brother for his constant ability to alleviate the tension on any subject with his joking but now wasn't one of those times. Edgar reached over and put his hand on Norman's chest, an unusual gesture between them, one that indicated this was a time to be serious.

"Norman, you couldn't have stopped me!" Edgar said in a whisper.

"You don't know that. I'm pretty strong. The gun show IS always open for business," Norm said. He really didn't want to talk about this part of the night. He was significantly more worried about other events that took place this evening. Between the tear marks, the sobbing coming from Sig's room and the obvious pain his little brother still felt, he was starting to let his imagination run wild. What the hell happened here?

Edgar ignored the playful comments and continued, "You're not that strong. No one is," and then he added slowly and with meaning, "Don't ever do that again. Don't ever risk your life for me."

Norm actually laughed out loud and continued staring at the ceiling, "Yeah, ok, you're really funny tonight. That's my job, kid. Came with your birth certificate. If you look hard enough in the corner, its reads "Has big brothers – will always risk lives to save.'"

Edgar shook his head. Sometimes this big brother was more difficult to deal with than the other big brother. At least the bigger one knew when to be serious.

"It's not your job. It's not your responsibility. I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt because of me," Edgar tried to get Norman to see his meaning.

Norm had had enough of this conversation. I guess I'm going to have to actually be….serious. He turned on his side so that he was now making eye contact with his little brother. Edgar's hand slid off his chest to rest in between them. Norm folded his arm under his head and stared at Edgar very hard.

"You're right. It's not a job. It's a privilege. Comes with the Hansen name," Norm said quietly. "I would do anything in this world to keep you safe. You don't have the right to asked me not too. So please just shut up about it." Then he added quickly, "Don't do stupid shit and then you won't have to worry about anything."

Edgar lowered his eyes in defeat. He had to wonder how he just kept losing these battles with his brothers. Edgar hated not getting his way but knew when it was time to let it go.

"I don't want to see you get hurt is all," Edgar whispered.

"Sucks, doesn't it, seeing someone you love get hurt?" Norm asked.

Edgar got it. He lowered his head shamefully. Norm thought he looked like a kid that just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I'm sorry, Norm, really sorry," Edgar whispered. He couldn't have meant it more.

"Me too. Not just for tonight and what happened…and then whatever happened afterwards…but for letting you get in that mess in the first place," Norman actually sounded pretty serious, so much that he didn't even recognize his own voice.

"It was my own fault, no one else's." Edgar said quickly, "I forgot."

"Forgot what?" Norm asked

"That my family loves me. All of them. Believe me, it won't happen again," Edgar said, almost to himself.

Norm raised his hand and with his left index finger, ran it along the bridge of Edgar's nose. "We all do…all of us…Sig, too, no matter what he had to do."

Edgar smiled at his brother. He could see that Norm still looked worried about things and he knew what he was worried about. Edgar didn't mind talking about what happened.

"You want to ask me, I can tell," Edgar nudged his brother's foot under the covers.

Norman let out a big sigh. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it."

"I think you are not going to go to sleep until you know so…" Edgar nudged him again.

"I was worried…I don't even know why…I trust Sig…and I know you are a tough kid, but…I think what I am imagining must be a lot worse that what it was…at least I hope it is." Norm was rambling and he knew it. He just didn't know how to ask the questions he wanted too.

Edgar sensed Norman was rambling because he was nervous and scared to know what happened. He immediately thought of a solution. "Ok, here's what we'll do. You ask me questions, any questions you want, I don't care, anything and I promise I will be totally honest with you. Then I'm going to ask you anything I want. It's up to you if you want to be honest or not. Sound like a plan?" Edgar asked and smiled to himself in the darkness. Already he was following his oldest brother's example.

Norm didn't know where to start, he had so many questions. Start with what is worrying you the most, dummy.

Norm waited, trying to get the question to come out right. Finally he asked, "Was Sig mean?"

"No, not at all. He never lost his temper once, although he could have easily and I won't have blamed him. He never yelled at me or scared me in anyway. He was really patient." Edgar answered proudly.

"You are talking about our brother, right?" Norm asked, a little shocked.

Edgar finally laughed a little. "Yes, our brother, Mr. Impatience himself. I don't know where all the patience came from but he was."

"How?" Norm was quite curious now.

"He talked to me a lot before he punished me. I think he told me things he never told anyone, actually I'm sure he told me things he never told anyone. He explained a lot of things, let me know exactly what was going to happen and he gave me a lot of time to understand why he was doing what he was doing," Edgar answered.

Norm was suspicious. What was there to explain? It wasn't like it was the kid's first trip over the kitchen table. The kid knew the routine by now, Sig had to know that, right? Something different happened tonight, Norm could sense it. Something very different.

"Any new designs on the kitchen table?" Norm knew it was a leading question.

Edgar saw this question coming from a mile away. "I won't know. Didn't have to look at it."

"How's the old strap these days?" Norm could play this game, too.

"Won't know. He didn't use it." Edgar knew he was being sneaky but this was way too much fun. He could actually see the wheels turning in Norm's mind.

Norm stared at his brother and could tell the kid was playing with him. After a few minutes of trying to figure this all out, he shrugged and said disgustedly, "Alright, I give up. It was Professor Plum with the candlestick in the library."

Edgar let out a giggle. His brother really was too much sometimes.

Norm was done playing. "OK, spit it out. You're killing me."

Edgar took a deep sigh. Come to think of it, some of this was hard to say but he would try to be honest. "He came to my room and sat with me. We talked for a long time about a lot of stuff. He made sure I knew what I was in for. He told me in his own way that he loved me and that it was hurting him to do this but that he loved me enough to do it. Then…." Edgar stopped and took a deep breath "I took off my jeans… and he put me over his lap…well, I guess I put myself over his lap because he didn't force me or be rough with me…and then he…spanked me pretty hard with just his hand….then he paddled me and it was over."

Norm remained expressionless. He absorbed this information. Finally, he managed to find his voice, "That's all very interesting to me. How does one get paddled when we don't have a paddle in the house?"

"Oh, we do…trust me…we do!" Edgar said with such certainty that Norman knew he was not kidding.

Edgar could see Norm was really stumped on this one but he wasn't about to share his oldest brother's secret so he added, "Ask Sig about it someday. He'll tell ya."

Norm was definitely going to ask how big brother knew of the existence of the mysterious paddle so he filed in the back of his mind for another day. His only concern right now was for his younger brother and how all of this played out.

"Ok, stupid question but I'll ask it…how bad?" Norm hoped Edgar wasn't going to make him explain what he was asking.

"Pretty bad, I guess. Sig's got a hard hand and he didn't go easy on me. The worst is having to trust the person doing it to eventually stop because it didn't seem like there was an end in sight at one point. But I did trust him and he stopped when he felt like I had gotten enough. He wasn't mean and he didn't go too far but he didn't let up when I was sobbing either." Edgar whispered in the darkness.

"It must have been bad for you to cry. I don't remember you ever crying a lot when dad strapped you," Norm was genuinely concerned.

"When dad strapped me, I never felt like I could cry. I know you know what I mean. But the spanking did hurt, stung a lot. Don't get me wrong, but it could have been worse," Edgar finished his own explanation.

"But it did get worse…Edgar…I'm…" Norm started.

"Yes, it did get a little worse but it's ok, really. The paddle stung but it wasn't was bad as the strap. Sig did send the message though." Edgar could tell Norm was getting upset by the way he was biting at his fingernail.

Norm looked scared. He asked quietly, "How many licks?"

"Fourteen," Edgar didn't feel like he needed to explain anymore than that. The manner and strength of the licks were between him and Sig and it was going to stay that way.

Norm didn't know how he felt about that number but he knew the paddle must have hurt his little brother and he felt awful. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be, Norman," Edgar whispered back. "I screwed up and someone loved me enough to let me know it. Now, it's over."

"But you're still hurting," Norm whispered.

"It'll go away."

Norm was getting uncomfortable with the emotions he was starting to feeling. As usual, he got sarcastic, "So, did Sig finish with the old 'Let's not have this conversation again' statement. I did always love that part."

Edgar got quiet so his brother would know exactly how he felt. "No, Norm, he didn't. He finished by holding me while I cried my eyes out and he told me everything was forgiven and that we were starting a new life because mom was gone and we couldn't keep living like she is somehow going to come back."

Norm rolled onto his back again and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't say anything but Edgar could see his bottom lip start to quiver. Edgar waited for Norm to say something but gave up after awhile. He slid over to his brother and put his head on his chest, his arm around him, leaving his hand over his heart. Norman wrapped both arms around his little brother and squeezed him tightly.

Norm was choking back the tears. Finally, he cleared his throat and managed to get out in a broken voice, "Big brother did pretty good, huh?" Norman glanced over to the ring laying on the nightstand and a tear slid down his temple, on to the pillow. You won, big bro. I don't know how the hell you did it and what the hell I was worried about. I'll never doubt you again. You are more than welcomed to set the tone in this house, only usurped by our father, who is eventually going to come home and how are we going to go back to that? I will follow your example, though, while he is away. I am going to be there for you and this kid and I am going to try and be more open, as hard as that is for me. Mom, well, I'm not ready for that. Can't. Still hurts too much

"Sig's the best…not as good as you, though. Don't tell him I said that." Edgar yawned and closed his eyes. Norm knew Edgar was totally kidding but it puffed his pride to hear it. He yawned too. Now that he felt secure in the knowledge that his little brother was ok, that they were all ok, he started to fall asleep. "I'm beat, kid. I'm gonna go to bed."

Edgar opened his eyes like a little kid that wanted to fight bedtime. He remembered something "Hey, I didn't get to ask you anything."

"Like what?"

"What's it like to be with a girl…I mean, like, be with, be with?" Edgar was very, very curious about this subject and he felt like he had just been very honest with Norm so Norm might feel like he owed him one.

Norm laughed and Edgar felt the rumble from his chest. It was a wonderful, safe feeling and he cuddled slightly against his brother. Norm replied with all honesty,"It's awesome, especially when you really like her. I love showing Amanda how much I love her."

"That's not an answer!" Edgar was annoyed.

"Well, that's all you get for now. Just be a kid for awhile and don't worry about that stuff. When the time comes, come talk to me first. I'll tell you everything you need to know, promise. I might even share a few secrets with you," Norm smiled at some special private thoughts in his head.

"Like what?" Edgar was being persistent with this.

"In time, kid, all in good time. Come on, I'm tired. Ask me more questions tomorrow." Norm was getting very sleepy.

"Ok," Edgar didn't release his hold. He did think for a second, hey, I didn't get punched in the stomach so I'm not letting go now.

"You're not gonna let me up, are you?" Norm was giving in to the sleep that was quickly overtaking him.

"No," was the simple reply, followed up softly with, "I love you."

Norm lifted his hand and started stroking his brother's hair. It was soft and soothing and he remembered how much he missed the way his mother would do the same thing to him. After the magic "cup of water" had been consumed, of course. The cup of water she would make the effort to get from the kitchen, filled with ice, no matter how tired she was and how long her day had been. The ice shifted in the glass next to them, melting into the summer night and he heard the clinking noise break the silence of the room. Signs are funny things, they just creep up on you when you least expect them.

Be open. "I love you, Ed," Norm whispered as he drifted off to sleep, Edgar only minutes behind him.

Side bar conversation between little brothers complete. Assurance. One very difficult conversation to go. Dad.