The suspense was killing Esme from the inside out, she had never experienced this kind of thing before and the situation was causing her breathing to increase. Her eyes darted to Carlisle's hand as he reached for the phone, his fingers shaking violently as he moved the device slowly up to his ear.
"Hello, Cullen residence". Esme could barely breathe.
Esme's mind fell blank from that moment on, her eyes fixated on her husbands as he um'd and ah'd down the telephone. His voice was cracking a little and Esme began to assume the worst, her eyes filling and her heart beginning to shatter into a million pieces. The thought of this ending badly was starting to stir within her stomach, making her feel the slightest bit nauseas. Minutes felt like hours to her as she awaited Carlisle's response, her eyes full of hope and need as she stared intently at him.
"O-okay. Thank you for your time, and we look forward to meeting with you again.." he stated in almost a whisper, his voice trailing off as he put the phone back down slowly.
His eyes made their way up from the floor to meet hers, his expression was completely unreadable to her. Her face became hot and her tears began to fall, despite her vampire traits. Carlisle moved elegantly towards her, his porcelain hand reaching out to touch hers, taking it in his firm hold before pulling her into a reassuring hug.
"Esme, do not cry. Please, my love.. you don't understand," he began, kissing her hair gently, "That was the mother, she wants to meet with us, she's picked us out of hundreds, and we're in a list of two other families." he explained, his grip tightening on her as he felt her body begin to shake. She was sobbing uncontrollably in his arms, just as she had that second night in the fall.
"A-are you being serious, Carlisle. Please, please tell me the truth.." she begged for an answer, her eyes capturing his in a hopeful gaze.
He didn't even have to answer, his eyes said it all, and who was he to lie about such things, it simply wasn't something Carlisle would do, especially not to her. He placed his hands on her waist and lifted her a few inches off the ground, spinning her in a perfect circle before placing her steadily back on her feet. Her tears soon faded and that beautiful smile that longed so come out shone brightly, this was the first big step towards getting their baby, and it was finally happening. Esme closed her eyes for a brief moment just to take in everything that had just happened and for a split second she thought she might have been dreaming, despite the fact that vampires don't sleep.
"This actually happening for you, my love. Everything you ever wanted is coming, and I am going to make damn sure that you enjoy every second," Carlisle whispered, brushing his lips against her ear gently, reaching her lips and pressing them to her soft, icy skin.
"Everything is coming to us, dear. Not just me, so lets just enjoy this together." Esme beamed, cupping her husbands handsome face in her hands. "Gosh, I love you!" She added with the brightest of smiles.
"and I love you, Esme.". Those were the last words spoken for the evening, the pair just settled into their silence and continued on with other things.
Days had passed and Esme had realised that knitting had never been one of her specialities, but she was determined to learn how to do it, not for her benefit, but for that of her child's. Vampires were usually very coordinated and very fast, yet Esme didn't seem to have picked up this talent during her change. She was very clumsy and found Carlisle rescuing her from the ground most of the time. Cross, hook, pull, repeat; How hard could it be?
Esme huffed quietly as she made another failed attempt at a baby blanket, crossing the wool over one too many times, causing the entire thing to look like a mass of yarn. She was never going to get the hang of it, and nobody was going to help her, so she decided to take up an old hobby; painting. She pranced into her old design room, grabbing an easel and some colours, a pallet and some water. Once she was set, she headed for the library, she always got the best view there, and she was determined to paint something glorious that she could hang in her child's nursery. After an hour of flicks and dips of her brush, the painting was complete. She'd painted the willow tree hanging over their lilly pond, the sight alone was beautiful, but Esme's version was simply breathtaking. Once she was satisfied with her work and she was sure that it was dry, she carried it under her arm and bounded towards the room where her husband was sure to be; his study.
Esme pranced around the last corner of the hallway and began to tiptoe towards the door to Carlisle's study, little did she know that she was about to intrude on a conversation that had the potential to wreck her. She reached the door and was ready to leap in through it, when she heard whispering and sighing. These were two sounds that worried her, Carlisle was never a secretive man, but he was hiding something from her now, and she was anxious to know exactly what it was.
"No, no. We completely understand, thank you for your time." these were words that she didn't want to hear, they sounded important, and he used the word 'we', implying that she was involved. She heard some low mumbling before some of her most dreaded words, "We just hope this won't be our only chance at having a baby, I mean, they'll be other babies, right?" he asked, his voice was low and raspy. There was some more mumbling and then the room went deadly quiet, anyone could have heard a pin drop.
Pounding sounds began to rack through Esme's body and she suddenly felt suffocated, like she was being strangled on the spot. Her heart raced and her head spun, causing her to drop the painting she was holding under her arm. She slapped her hand over her mouth to cover up the choking sobs that were threatening to arise and she ran at vampire speed into the garden, throwing herself against the roots of the willow tree. Once she was clear from anyone's view she removed her hand and released the sobs that she'd been holding back, failing to hide them as they echoed around the garden and probably back to the house.
Elsewhere, a confused Carlisle exited his office, only to find a beautiful disaster on the carpet. He picked up her painting in it's now broken frame and released a long sigh, piecing everything together in his head.
"She's going to hit rock bottom, you know. You better prepare her for the Fall" a beautiful low voice whispered from across the hall. Alice sat on the windowsill, staring mournfully out the window at what he assumed was Esme. Realisation hit him then; she was tumbling towards rock bottom faster then he could comprehend, and he was going to be almost powerless to stop her, she was going to fall.