UPDATE: So I went on youtube to watch the video that inspired this fiction...and I found out that the account that made it has been deleted and the video is no longer available to veiw. So sorry for the inconvieneance.
I don't own the rights to anything, by anything I mean everything, characters, places, ideas, (most) spells and potions, and basically anything else you can think of.
This is a slash story, if you don't like, don't read!
Also there is a lot of PG-13 material in this FF ( swearing, suggestive themes, self-injury, drinking, more swearing, etc)….so if you have a problem with any of the listed above then don't read it, after all this is rated T.
I'm sorry for the OOC-ness of certain characters (Hermione), but it needs to be like that. What happened last time…
"I did, but there is a certain attitude that people expect for a Malfoy and I don't want to deny them that," his old sneer is back in his voice.
Why is he being like this? I didn't do anything to him! I don't get it…
"What's the matter with you?
"Nothing's the matter with me. This is who I am, Potter, and if you have a problem with that then you might as well get out of my room."
Chapter 10: Had Enough
Draco's PoV
Did I really just say that? Damn it. I can't believe I'm doing this again. I'm such a Hufflepuff. No, I'm worse.
"Fine, if that's how you want it then I'll leave," Harry turns around and heads toward the door.
"No, wait! That's not what I meant!"
"Then what did you mean? 'Cause it sounds like you meant 'get out of my room'."
"I did but-I um, - it's just that uh- I didn't mean it exactly like that- I just got angry and I- just please don't go!" I stutter, trying to explain what I mean, but I can't put it into words. Hell, I can't even put it into thoughts.
Damn it! Why am I being like this?
"Whatever, I'm going and unless you apologize to Hermione and me. I won't be coming back."
The door slams shut and the echo rings in my ears.
"Please, come back. I need you. I love you," my voice trembles and the plead is only heard by me.
What have I done?
"ARRGH!" shouts echo throughout the room.
Where are they coming from? Who's screaming? Are they alright?
The hollering continues and there is still no sign of who is in pain. Then I realize that the one shouting is me.
"WHAT HAVE I DONE? I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" My rage spreads through my veins, like poison. I grab my wand and press it down on the pale, unblemished skin of my right arm. Shaking, I slice my skin making a jagged line. Crimson regret* drips to the floor, staining the silver carpet. Sobs wrack my body and I cut again and again. I can't stop. Hell, I don't want to stop. Physical pain is better than the pain I am feeling about the absence of Harry. Eventually the tears stop and dry on my face. The blood still steadily drips from my arm.
What happened to me? I used to be a proud, cocky, Death-Eater-in-training Malfoy. Now I'm an emotionally unstable bastard Malfoy. I can't believe this. What did I do to deserve this? I had an amazing boyfriend who loved me, I think. Then I had to go and fuck it up. Fuck my life. Fuck it…I want this over. I want my life to be over. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be my fathers son. I don't want to be anything besides dead, 'cause that's the only thing I'll be good at.
Three hours later
"Draco! Draco open up!" I can hear Pansy banging on my door in the distance. The shouting gets louder. I don't want to get up, no, I can't get up.
I'm pathetic, laying here in a pool of my own blood.
"Draco I swear to God open this door or I will blast it open!" Blaise bellows.
My door is rattling louder and louder. The pain is too much for me to bear, physically and emotionally. I just want all of this to end. It won't end until they leave.
Why don't they leave me alone? Can't they just let me die in peace?
"Draco!" another voice, one that I thought I would never hear again, joins in the chorus of shouting and banging. Something in my brain clicks.
Harry!
"Mm," it's getting harder for me to keep my eyes open, my breathing is shallow and my brain is getting fuzzy.
This is it. I'm dying and no one can stop me. No longer will I be Draco Malfoy. No longer will I be the shame of the Malfoy family. Now I will be just a floating being, watching everything from a spectator's point of view; not being able to protect my loved ones. I'm falling off the edge, ** into an endless abyss of loneliness.
Another click in my brain and I realize that now is not my time to die.
Why was I being so stupid and selfish? I can't die now. I haven't done anything besides be an asshole to everyone.
At this point I don't think I can say anything. I try to move but it hurts too much. I remember the one thing the You-Know-Who taught me that is actually useful, Legimency. I look for the presence of his mind. Finally I find it and luckily it is wide open.
Harry, help me. I'm in trouble. The door is unlocked. I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
What? Draco is that you?
Yes, now would you please open the damn door before it's too late.
What? What's going on in there? Drake are you okay?
Then everything goes black.
So this is what it's like to be dead. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. At least all the pain is gone. If I'm dead then why can I still feel my body? I thought that dead people, except for ghosts, can't think or feel their bodies. This is odd. Where am I?
My consciousness fades.
What the fuck? Why do I keep falling in and out of blackness? Am I dead or not? I really would like to know. I can defiantly feel my body now; it's not just my imagination. I'm not in pain anymore, but that doesn't mean that I'm not hurt. So what is going on? Am I in the infirmary or St. Mungos? What does Harry think of all of this? Does he think that I'm not worth his time? I bet he thinks I'm a melodramatic little sissy who is not worth the trouble.*** I really hope he doesn't leave, but if he does…I'll understand.
A Few Hours Later
"Mmm…" I blink and open my eyes. Sunshine floods the room and I have to close them again. Slowly I re-open them and take in my surroundings.
So I'm not dead. This is a good sign.
Someone is curled in a chair at the foot of the bed sound asleep. A blanket is covering their face so I can't tell who it is. Rolling over I see that Dumbledore is sitting on the other side of my bed.
"Ah! Mister Malfoy it's good to see that you are awake. You had quite the incident," he smiles good naturedly. "It's good that Mister Potter and Zabini and Miss Parkinson found you when they did. You almost died."
I don't know what to say to that, so I just blink and nod.
"Harry has been here as much as he can," the professor points to the sleeping figure at the end of my bed. "It's nice to see that you two have formed such a close bond even though the two of you are quite different."
"Yeah," I say, my voice is scratchy and it hurts to talk. "Can I have some water?"
"Here you are," he hands me a goblet and watches me while I drink greedily from it.
"How long have I been in the Hospital Wing, Professor?"
"Four days. You knew what you were doing when you…." his voice trails off and looks at my arms.
For the first time I look at my body. Everything seems to be intact, except my arms. Both of my forearms are wrapped in white bandages.
Oh shit! Whoever wrapped my arms must have seen…it.
"Who wrapped my arms?" a sense of urgency is in my voice.
"Not to worry, Draco, Harry has informed me of your situation in the utmost confidence and I made sure that no one saw your tattoo."
I let out the breath that I had apparently been holding.
"Thank you so much, sir."
"Don't thank me. Thank Mister Potter. Now if you don't mind I must go inform Madam Pomfrey that you are awake," he smiled again and then left the room.
Just as the hem of his robes disappeared from sight Harry starts to stir. My heart begins to beat faster when his eyes open and fall on me.
To be continued…for sure!
* 'crimson regret' is a line from one of my favorite songs 'Tourniquet' by Evanescence; I thought it worked well though so I used it. No copyright intended!
** 'I'm falling off the edge' is another line from a song called 'Off The Edge' by my new favorite band, Another Step Further
***Thanks to SecretlyinSlytherin for that amazing line…it fits perfectly.
Just to give you all approximately when this is happening according to Hermione's diary it's in between the 10th and 11th entry, from about February 6th to the 12th.
Please Read and Review! Constructive criticism welcome!
-CM44-