#40 - War with myself by Lar-lar.

Author notes: Have some MORE ANGST, why don't you?! is hit Man, I only have three more written after this one, I'm gonna have start writing again This one is kinda personal to me and not very good, so don't judge me too much if Tweek seems a little OOC, I'm well aware that I get carried away when things are close to my heart. I hope I don't destroy him or the idea too much...

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of its characters.

xox

They tell me there's something wrong with me.

I could've told them that.

It shouldn't be so hard, I know that.

"What do you want for breakfast, Tweek?"

I don't know.

"Are you coming straight home after school, Tweek?"

I'm not sure.

"What are your plans for the weekend, Tweek?"

I haven't decided yet.

They never end.

The questions, the decisions.

It's hard to think straight when you can see every side of every thing and it just won't go away.

You can't sleep, you can't relax, not even for a second.

The thoughts are always there.

That was, until I met Craig.

We didn't get on too well at first, we even had this one big fight back in third grade, but after that?

Things were good.

He helped me.

For years, he was by my side,

Not telling me what to do, helping me do what I needed to.

A lot of people don't get that.

I'm not stupid, I know it bad for me to be this way.

I wouldn't say it's wrong, though.

That sounds crazy, doesn't it?

I get that a lot.

But when you think about it, as long as I'm worried I might be crazy, then I know I can't be.

It's not until you don't think you're crazy that you have to start worrying...

So I'm not, really.

We all have our habits, our ways of getting through the day.

I don't smoke, or drink or do drugs (coffee doesn't count) but I do need him.

You push through life and cope the best way you can and if you need help to do that?

You should accept it and know that in the end, anything is worth it to stay sane and survive.

Everyone's different.

All lives are lived out in different ways.

No-one's special anymore and that's a good thing.

Because when no-one's special, everyone's equal and isn't that what everyone wants?

At least, I always thought so.

Then again, I think too much so I guess I could be wrong...

It's bad because if something happened to him, I don't think I could cope anymore, not on my own.

I know that, but I can't do anything about it.

Maybe if I was stronger, but strength is something I don't have much left of anymore.

When everyday feels like a struggle, it's hard to feel anything but weak and useless.

Even if deep down, you know simply still being here makes you strong.

But it's not wrong because I think he needs me too.

He needs to look out for me like I need him to do just that for me.

It's not perfect, but we all have our ways of getting by.

And that's what life is all about, right?