/ / / Clarification \ \ \

Nick woke with a start – Elly had only just captured him. He wasn't sure what had woken him; he normally always slept through until Elly spilt his blood.

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Nick stood up suddenly – looking at the front door; someone was knocking on it incessantly. He walked slowly towards the door and looked through the glass before throwing the door open.

"Elly?"

Elly stepped forward, pushing past him, and then turning on him. "You said you love me."

Nick froze – he felt his stomach twist with the nerves he'd been ignoring since he was at Elly's house. "Yes."

"What did you mean?"

Nick knew he had options, he knew he could lie or avoid or he could lay himself bare and risk everything. The last time he hadn't really meant to do it but this time he was making a choice and it was a choice that could end so very badly for him. But he couldn't lie to her – he had never been able to lie to her.

"That I love you."

"Love me how."

Nick frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean when you say you love me?" Elly asked, her eyes fierce.

Nick paused for a moment and collected the shreds of his courage together and told her. "I love you like you're the woman who has become the person I talk to every day, like the person who has affected what I eat, who has changed the way I see the world, who has helped keep me alive by putting themselves in danger. I love you like the person who has become completely intertwined in my life. You're my best friend and I love you."

"But…" Elly started and then stopped – staring at him. "What does that actually mean?"

Nick thought vaguely that in a movie this was the part when he would step forward and kiss her but he didn't want to do something she hadn't asked for – especially not when she was so confused. "It means, Elly, that I am in love with you. And even if I didn't know it, I've been in love with you for a long time."

Elly stared at him silently, the quiet stretching between them until Nick felt the desire to take the words back – he didn't want to though, now that he'd told her, no matter what, he could comfort himself that he had been honest and brave.

"And when did you realise this?" Elly finally asked, voice quiet and distant.

"I didn't," Nick admitted. "I was told by Hank and Wu that I was in love with you."

"When?"

"The night you had that date with whatshisname."

"So this isn't even about me it's just-"

"They told me and I told them they were full of shit," Nick interrupted, a sinking feeling in his stomach telling him what she was going to think. "I also drank too much whiskey and continued to think they were wrong. Then I came home and ordered Chinese – which was mostly vegetarian dishes."

"Except for Szechuan beef," Elly muttered.

"Exactly," Nick agreed. "Then Holly and Roddy tried to take care of me because you were dating someone else. And Holly tried to tell me that we should be together. And Barry looked at me like it was an idiot…as did his dad, when they spoke to me. And the people at the vegan bakery thought we were together but I was still convinced I would have known if I was in love with you."

Elly nodded, staring at Nick intently.

Nick made an awkward little move and grimaced before he continued. "Then I read the books about Blutbad in the trailer."

"You read them?"

"I used an internet translation tool," Nick finally admitted. "It took forever." Elly smirked at him. "Yes, I know, must learn German. Why couldn't Aunt Marie have forced me to take lessons when I was a kid…honestly. And the thing is, El, when I was reading it I liked the way it sounded, I like the idea of having a relationship like the ones described with you. And then I realised that I am an idiot."

Elly's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Because I've been in love with you for a long time, and I'm an idiot who didn't work it out until people literally sat me down and told me, and even then I didn't get it."

"And now?"

"And now I can see what everyone was talking about."

"Because they told you."

"Because I was terrified of seeing it before," Nick said, his shoulders almost shrugging. "I have put you in so much danger, Elly, just being my friend would put you in danger but neither of us has any sense of…of…preservation when it comes to us…this…Grimm and Blutbad thing. And you might not have feelings for me but if you did and we did…I'm already having terrible nightmares about something I've done robbing you of your hard won control."

"How utterly self-absorbed," Elly said. "I will admit that it is not an easy thing to do; becoming Wieder, but do not for a second think that I would allow anyone to put my lifestyle at risk."

"Angelo…" Nick stopped and grimaced.

"Yes, Angelo did make me have a relapse because of how I used to feel about him and that proved me to that I am stronger than I had realised because I did break my promise to myself but I did not keep doing it. I stopped and I am never going to let another person have that kind over influence of me or my decisions."

"Good."

Elly growled at him and Nick took a step back – surprised that he wasn't scared, only that he was…affected by it. Elly took a step back herself and held her hands up. "Sorry, sorry."

"It's not a problem," Nick said completely honestly – he would think about his reaction later – now was not the right time to be thinking about it.

"You are very frustrating."

Nick smiled. "Yes."

"I need to think about this, Nick."

Nick nodded. Elly stepped around him to the door and opened it but she stopped before she was completely outside.

"Nick, what do you want out of this?" she asked, not turning around.

"You," Nick said honestly.

Elly didn't say anything else – just walked out of the door.

/ / /