A/N:So greatly sorry about the massive delay here... we're going to try to remain more accurately on top of this from now on, I daresay. Please bear with us, really - and enjoy the story!

Kevin Clarke (née Flynn) was doing very well and had everything under her control.

That was what she'd say if asked, as it was her standard politician's answer. (In fact, she knew she would have a hard time saying anything else by now unless she felt particularly strongly one way or another.) But in this case, it was true. Because all things considered, Kevin was actually feeling fairly content with her situation. She had been forced to sleep on the couch, yes, but it had been a fairly comfortable couch, and the blanket had been warm. Candace Seven – that was the name of the one who had been with her, the disgruntled one – might have complained a lot before, but she'd slept well throughout the night and hadn't bothered Kevin one bit.

Of course there were reasons for which she would want to be home again. Take the pool legislation, for instance, on which the final debate was going to take place in a couple of days' time. If she wasn't there she knew the opposition would use her absence to try to postpone the pool's expansion again. And she just knew Hirano would be behind it, despite the fact that Kevin had beaten her fair and square only a couple of months ago. And then there were various other minor issues on the agenda, some about money she wanted spent but which the opposition thought was a complete waste, and some about areas she wanted to cut back on but which the opposition proclaimed to be 'essential services'. She'd never catch a break, but that was okay, because she was doing this for Danville.

That meant her Danville, of course.

Because the Danville she'd slept in this night was a very different Danville from the one she was familiar with. Kevin already knew that, of course, from the way the Candaces (and although by now she'd caught on to the fact that male and female names appeared to be reversed here it was still difficult to remember because it was so weird and wrong) had all but assaulted her because one random zebra had been bothering them. Why couldn't they understand that she had nothing to do with what the zebra did? She didn't control her voters. These Candaces apparently had a very strange idea of how democracy worked.

All those thoughts and more were on her mind when she woke up that morning. It was fairly quiet in the house, but she could hear the birds chirping outside and as she pulled open the curtains, she could see that it was morning. Trying not to disturb Seven, she walked over to the kitchen. She wasn't sure whether anyone else was up yet, but she might as well wash her face using the sink – there could be better opportunities later, without disturbing people either because they were up and wanted to use the shower, or because they weren't and didn't want to hear her using it. Hmm, it might be useful to check how thick the walls were in this house.

After using a washcloth to spread the water over her face (she couldn't use any make-up, of course, but given the plain and simple image she was trying to cultivate that was a bonus in a way) Kevin headed to the refrigerator. It was fairly hard to find the salads she wanted amidst an array of fairly unfamiliar looking products – maybe Phineas and Candace from this dimension didn't store their breakfast products in the refrigerator – and when she found a salad and sat down at the kitchen table to eat it, it tasted funny. Apparently it contained something called 'cheese'. She'd never heard of that before.

While Kevin ate, the house came to life outside her, and although she didn't join in on conversation (aside from once giving Six useful advice on how to deal with her completely new environment) she kept her ears wide open. From the things Seven and Five were saying, they were still equally disgruntled about the whole incest situation. They dealt with it in different ways, though – although they'd both risen early, which they themselves ascribed to how disturbed they felt about all this, Five had taken the advantage to get a breakfast of… was that cereal? Who ate that stuff for breakfast? And what was that white goop it was in anyway - it looked almost like some kind of bodily fluid. Pus, or milk, or something thereabout. Certainly not appetizing, at the very least. Whereas Seven remained on the couch, looking utterly uninterested in and vengeful against anything that was happening around her. Interesting.

Kevin still wasn't sure how she herself felt about the whole incest thing. On the one hand, the idea of doing something like that with either Petra or Fern freaked her out. They were her little brothers, after all, and she'd already been in love with Wilma when they were still little kids.

But the way these two Candaces were approaching it was just completely counterproductive. Didn't they see that proudly proclaiming how much they hated the relationship of the local Kevin and Petra was only going to bring them closer to each other, if it had any effect at all? Certainly, as a politician she understood the strength of moral values, and she could relate to their desire to unsee all this. But even so, any attempt to end this relationship – and given that it had produced two teenaged kids, Seven and Five were running a little late for that – should be attempted through an approach of 'we understand you feel love for each other, but it is wrong to act upon those feelings for this and this reason, so for your own sake it would be best to terminate the relationship' rather than 'we see you're in love and we can't stand you for it'. Even Stanley Hirano didn't openly flout attitudes like that.

But where Five and Seven might be difficult company with incredibly one-track minds (a personality flaw which her personal advisers had always warned her about, and that warning was really being vindicated here) Two was probably worse. Kevin had not disliked the uncomfortably tall woman with the sunglasses when she first met her back in the… was that the non-dimension? (She supposed it was. No one had really bothered to explain it to her.) But she'd soon realized that Two had a very difficult, bossy and driven character. She was a lot like a military veteran. Good in emergency situations like the one in the other dimension (although even there her assessment of Three's skills had been proven wrong) but totally unsuited to civilian life.

Three came to the living room almost near the end, followed only by Four. Provided that her memory was correct, that only left One (the teenager) unaccounted for. Maybe she was sleeping in. Kevin watched Three closely, as she was continuously writing down something on a piece of paper. Given the fact that Three had been the one to help them out of the non-dimension her writings were likely to be calculations of some sorts, but they might be something else that was far more personal. Maybe she was writing a letter to her Pet-Phineas, which she could somehow send to him by inter-dimensional post.

Another remarkable thing about Three was the way she went from behaving as if she had lived here for years to looking around insecurely within seconds, only to return to the start of the cycle. Well, Three would be from a similar household, wouldn't she? Kevin supposed that this might mean the houses themselves were similar as well. That made sense – Three feeling as if she was really at home could explain her relaxed start, with her tensing up as she realized that she wasn't. Kevin couldn't quite explain the extent of Three's insecurity, though. She would have to study her further in order to be able to come to reliable conclusions about that.

It had been a couple of hours since the start of the morning before Phineas came into the room. She'd seen him around last night, but only briefly, and he acted courteous but distant. It was interesting to see him. He wasn't quite like Petra, but despite the girly name he still had a lot of Petra's mannerisms and looks. Although Five and Seven looked at him with some wary frowns, his basic message – that it was just about time to go to what Kevin presumed to be his office building – was very well received.

Seven, of course, was eager to get out of there right away, whereas Five looked like she was in that phase where you really hate the status quo you're having to put up with, but you fear the alternative. Two muttered something about the dangers of going outside without a squad of friendly snipers to protect them, but in the end her desire to go home was clearly greater than her worries about the journey to this Flynn-Fletcher Incorporated. (Maybe she could suggest that corporation name to Petra and Fern one day?) Three seemed downright eager to come along, and Kevin was just wondering whether they'd all fit in the car when Four spoke up and asked just that.

It turned out that that was indeed a bit of an issue. Apparently Phineas' car seated five people and Candace's car could fit only two, which meant that some of them would inevitably have to be left behind. Phineas informed them that he'd asked Fern Ferb whether he could drive them, but apparently his youngest daughter had a cold so it was taking him another hour or two, which left them with a dilemma which fortunately didn't last very long. Candace One was still asleep after all (which was really strange as it was already getting close to eleven in the morning, but Kevin figured the girl must have had a long day before coming here, or maybe she just didn't deal well with stress) so she'd have to stay behind in any case, and once that option was on the table more of them agreed to stay.

In the end, it was decided that Phineas, Two, Three, Five and Seven would go. Phineas for obvious reasons, Two because she insisted, Three because she wanted to help in getting them back home, and Five and Seven because they really couldn't stand being here for a minute longer. (Although it was interesting to see Seven remember that if she stayed here, she would probably end up spending more time away from Phineas in the end, and then seeing the woman be genuinely torn for a few moments until her desire to go home proved decisive.) Which just left Kevin here cooped up with Four, Six and little Candace One.

Where Six decided to spend her time exploring the house and the garden, and Four monitored them for a couple of minutes before heading upstairs to do whatever she did (judging from her mental state, it was likely that she was going to do some mundane everyday housework to take her mind off the more disturbing aspects of the things they had all lived through yesterday) Kevin chose to stay in the living room. She found a classic, old-fashioned puzzle book laying around and sat down at the kitchen table. It would be a good way to pass the time, and it was always nice to be able to keep her brains sharp.

She'd been chipping away at the puzzle for about ten minutes when Candace One finally entered the room. Although she'd clearly had a shower and tried to make herself look as presentable as possible, the wary expression in her eyes indicated a distrust of her surroundings, one that likely stemmed from a deep discomfort. The way she opened the fridge while avoiding the fridge magnet with the older kid's name on it and the snapshot of Phineas, Candace and Ferb together told Kevin that One still hadn't come to terms with the relationship of her counterpart either, and more so, that it might well have something to do with the kids – Xavier and Amanda. (Who were a boy and a girl respectively, not a girl and a boy. She would really have to watch out for slip-ups.) One had spent the night together with those two, and the fact that she'd overslept and yet still didn't look as relaxed as a well-rested person might, plus her discomforted attitude, provided enough clues to indicate that something had happened there.

"Good morning, Candace," she said, trying to strike the right tone between being too cheerful and too somber. She wanted to cheer the teenager up, but she knew that sounding over-enthusiastic would just earn her One's indifference. It was difficult, especially given the emphasis she always put on appearing especially positive in public, but she thought she'd managed it.

Candace One looked up at her for a moment, mumbled something, and then went back to rummaging through the fridge. That was… discouraging, but it wasn't a surprise. Kevin waited until One had sat down and then asked: "Did you sleep well?" Again, she tried to watch her tone carefully – not too light-hearted, in that she wasn't seeing One's obvious problems, or too pitying or confrontational. Just a casual but gentle and obviously well-meaning question.

Candace sighed. "I… did, actually" she replied. "Or at least, I did for the last couple of hours. Those… those kids… Amanda and Xavier… they didn't shut up about their parents. Of which one was me, and the other was my brother." Kevin decided not to question her about that unintentional rhyme. "And I had to sleep with someone who looks like Phineas, but who is apparently the kid of a version of me, and we were all in the same bed, and it was beyond creepy." She shook her head. "It took me hours and at least three Ducky Momo stories to fall asleep. This morning, I just tried to avoid conversation for as long as possible – which meant that I spent half an hour just lying on the bed waiting for the others to leave the room without having them notice that I was awake, you know? But of course they just had to play a video game. In the end, I just gave up and walked out. Xavier did try to talk to me again, but I shrugged him off – I'd be happy to never talk to either of them again." She shook her head. "And you're one of the me's that slept on the couch, aren't you? So you're probably going to tell me I was spoiled for being able to sleep on an actual bed which was my size, length-wise at least… but if you're going to listen to any word I say, then know that this whole place is a mess."

Kevin shrugged. "The couch was fine. But I do think you're focusing too much on the negative here. Yes, the thought of any version of me being in a romantic relationship with our brothers is weird to me as well. But you can't focus on that. If you do, you'll never be able to live a normal life again, or at least not until we return home. I know this sounds difficult, but you should accept it and try to move on. The… relationship between Four and her brother is a weird choice that a different version of us made. We don't have to understand it in order to tolerate it."

It was one of the golden rules of politics – of debating in general, really. Never get so caught up in what your opponent is doing wrong that you forget what you're doing right.

Candace snorted. "I want to tolerate it," she muttered. "Or at least, I would if they weren't confronting me with it at every breath they take. Because Xavier looks exactly like Phineas, and he's not supposed to look like Phineas because he should look like Jeremy, and I should be with Jeremy! Not with my brother, but with the love of my life! And Amanda… Amanda is worse. She never quits yammering on about how great her Dad is."

"Then tell them that," Kevin replied. "Tell them that it's making you uncomfortable to be reminded of Phineas and Candace's relationship, and that you want them to stop referring to it. Of course you can't stop Xavier from looking like her – I mean his father, but…"

"But that's the exact problem," Candace said. "They can't stop, because they've already gone too far down this road. Xavier won't stop looking like Xavier, and those kids won't stop talking about their 'Mom' and 'Dad', because to them this is apparently normal." She shook her head. "It was just that one joke at Isabella's expense – I never meant to hurt her with it! I never meant to give her ideas! Why did this have to happen to me!"

Kevin was placed in the weird position of having to comfort a person who was essentially herself, but younger. (Even if she didn't understand much of what Candace had just said.) One was hunched over at the table, still slowly sipping the cereal and the white goo it was in, and Kevin felt herself at a loss for words. It wasn't too often that something like that happened to her, but she supposed that what with her being transported into a whole other dimension, she did have some excuse. Maybe she should get Four to come and help and tell her about One's problems? Four should be able to understand One, as they seemed to be basically the same person at different ages after all, and after a good chat maybe Four would realize that she should stop reminding everyone of her desires towards her brother. Granted, in this case it had apparently been the children who couldn't stop talking about their family, but Four could definitely pass on the message.

She stood up and, after giving One a few awkward pats on the shoulder, she headed over to the living room door. She opened it, intending to go to the stairs and find her other self – the house couldn't be that big, she should be able to find her counterpart with ease – when something strange happened.

Something – or someone – scurried by her feet, and Kevin turned around to see who it was. It was a teal platypus, probably relatively old considering some of the wrinkles in his skin. The fact that he was here caught her off-guard, because neither Candace nor Phineas had mentioned that somebody was coming over. She hadn't even heard the doorbell ring. Maybe he was hiring one of her counterpart's rooms? (That would be strange, given his age – she wondered why he couldn't just go to a retirement home, but maybe he couldn't afford that.) Or maybe he was just a friend of the family who had slept over? Then again, that was something else that Phineas and Candace most likely would have mentioned.

But the fact that the platypus was here wasn't the strangest thing – it was his mannerisms. He scurried past her at a modest pace, treating her presence there with complete indifference. Really, was it so much trouble to say 'hi'? And then there was the fact that he was crawling over the ground. As in, literally crawling. Moving around on arms and legs. She'd never seen anyone do that outside of games or crawling through vents or stuff like that.

"Um, hello?" she said, trying to call the platypus' attention – Candace One apparently hadn't noticed him yet. "Excuse me, sir? I'm Kevin. It's nice to meet you."

That caught the platypus' attention, and he stopped to turn towards her. Kevin was instantly struck by his eyes, which stood apart in an incredibly unnatural way. She hadn't met too many platypuses – she thought only two or three had voted for her last summer – but she could tell that this wasn't what a normal platypus should look like. Maybe he was mentally disabled? Wait, was that still what she was supposed to call sentients like that these days? It was so hard to keep track of those things.

One looked up and gave the newcomer a look. "Oh there you are, Perry" she said, disgruntled. Her face then softened slightly. "Okay, you can come here."

Kevin wasn't sure what she meant with that, but whatever she had been expecting to happen next, it was not the platypus – Perry? – crawling over to Candace One and jumping into her lap. That was… an odd image. And here One was saying that Three and Four were disturbing? She supposed that if he was a friend of the family even in Candace's time – when the platypus would obviously have been a lot younger – it was all right. Probably.

It occurred to her that she could, you know, just ask. "You know him?" she asked, figuring that that wasn't the best statement per se, but given that the platypus wasn't replying (maybe he was mute) it was probably best to address One instead.

Candace One rolled her eyes. "Of course I do. He's our pet back home."

Kevin blinked, unsure what One was referring to. "Pet what?"

One frowned, clearly annoyed now but also confused by the fact that Kevin didn't understand what she was saying – they really seemed to have bumped into another one of those differences between dimensions here, apparently. "Our pet. As in, he's ours. Phineas and Ferb bought him from the pet store a long time ago."

It took a few moments before the implications of that statement sank in. "You… you enslaved a platypus?" she whispered, aghast. That… that couldn't be possible, could it? Aside from the fact that Perry (was that his real name?) was so willing to get close to Candace, there was also the more practical detail that even during the most cruel days of slavery, few people had enslaved platypuses because they weren't known for doing much and because they had venomous ankle barbs. But there was no other way to interpret teenaged Candace's words.

"What the – of course not!" Candace One exclaimed, pinning the poor, aged platypus helplessly in her arms. "I told you, he's our pet!"

Kevin had come across many disturbing things in her long political career, but seldom had she seen a fifteen-year-old girl defend her enslavement of an innocent platypus like this. Every sense of righteousness she had demanded that she acted with force, and thus she did. She had to save Perry, right now. She stepped forward and lunged for him, roughly grabbing One's arm and pinning her down to the ground. "Let him go, you…"

And then Candace One did let go – albeit inadvertently – and Perry the platypus abruptly snapped out of his mentally deficient state. The clear and focused expression on his face was the last thing she noticed before he punched her in the face and physically pushed her off Candace One. Kevin landed on the ground, suddenly feeling rather sore.

What was even happening here?

She had been trying to save that poor, mentally disabled platypus from a Candace who had turned out to be far more evil than her innocent, teenaged exterior had made her believe – and then that platypus himself had come to life and pushed her away. Perry was watching her now, his eyes firmly pinned on hers, as if warning her not to try anything. Didn't he understand that she was hardly the enemy? Kevin felt a wave of resentment against the platypus and the girl – who looked shocked, for some reason? That didn't make much sense. Sure, Kevin's accusations of slavery had thrown her off-guard, but Candace One was looking at Perry instead.

"All right, what's going on here?" Four asked, bursting into the room. "I could hear you from upstairs. I…" She frowned. "Okay, why are you two rolling over the floor?"

"She attacked me!" Candace One exclaimed, getting to her feet and quickly retreating to the very edge of the room. "Just for the fact that we have Perry in our world – and she said we were keeping him as a slave!"

"As a slave?" Four repeated. Her reaction suddenly made Kevin realize that in this dimension, Perry might well be in her custody instead – that would explain what he was doing around the house. "Why would you call… oh." She inappropriately let out a short chuckle and shook her head. "Kevin, didn't we make clear to you why we were so freaked out by that zebra from your dimension? Well, aside from the fact that he used your name and appeared out of nowhere?"

Now that was hardly a relevant topic, but for diplomacy's sake Kevin didn't object to it as she stood up. "No, you didn't" she replied, trying not to sound bitter. "Why?" She was outnumbered anyway – this subject clearly wasn't one that she could resolve with force after all.

"Because in our dimension, animals – zebras, dogs, cats, platypuses – aren't sentient, and they can't talk" Four explained, on a tone that sounded like she was talking down to her while doing her best not to talk down to her. "Yes, Perry is very much sentient, and he's a trained undercover secret agent. But that's only possible because no one else can see him for what he is. Over ninety percent of his kind consists out of dumb animals who could never participate in our society."

Kevin snorted, feeling increasingly aghast at Four's archaic language. "That sounds like a farfetched, unrealistic and discriminatory way to avoid my slavery charge."

"It's not!" Four exclaimed, shaking her head. "I mean, there's got to be some animals in your world that aren't sentient – what about birds? Or fish? Or insects? Do they participate fully in your societies in the same way that zebras and platypuses apparently do?"

"Of course not" Kevin snorted. "Why would you…" She blinked, connecting the dots. "Are you saying that… that's what it's like for all non-humans in your world? They can't talk? They… they're not considered sentient?"

Four sighed. "It's a complicated situation, but yes, that is what it comes down to. Dogs, cats, platypuses, zebras… none of them can talk, and all of them live out in the wild in the way I suppose fish do in your world. Unless they are taken in by people and raised as pets – which means that those people take care of them, and raise them with their family, just not as a member of their family. Again, it would be like taking in a fish in your world. Why do you think we were all so freaked out by the fact that the zebra from your dimension talked to us? Because he's a zebra, and zebras aren't supposed to talk. Not as far as we knew, at least."

Kevin sat down, staring at the ground. "I… this is so confusing" she replied. She knew she had to treat this rationally, and she was trying to, of course, but it was just such a hard concept to wrap her head around. She'd come across some people in her life who kept a fish and rather than eating it put it in a bowl, which she had always thought was a very odd thing to do. Apparently, though, it was normal here – since Four and Phineas were keeping a platypus around. A non-sentient platypus, even.

"But… Perry?" she protested. "He's not like a fish. Fishes wouldn't have been able to punch me like that! Fishes wouldn't stand on their feet like that!" Fishes also didn't generally live outside of the water, but that was besides the point.

"Perry is a unique case" Four replied. "Well, not technically unique, because he's not the only one… but for some reason, he and a lot of house pets around the Tri-State Area are practically sentient, almost on the level of humans. They are employed by an organization called the OWCA to fight evil scientists. Perry, for example, used to fight the Dr. Doofen-something that Two won't stop rambling about." She shook her head. "I don't really know why Perry is sentient and all those other platypuses aren't, whether it's the result of a lot of experiments or if it's a mutation, but it's a thing that is real here."

Kevin shook her head, still unable to wrap her head around this whole idea, and her silence gave Candace One the chance to speak up. "Perry is… really… a secret agent?" she whispered. "Like James Bond?"

Perry looked at her and pulled a hat out of… somewhere, which he put on his head and then tipped, making a weird bird-like gurgle with his voice rather than actually saying something in the Australian accent Kevin had been expecting. One's eyes widened further, whereas Four rolled hers. "Didn't we already tell you that back in the non-dimension?" she said.

"Yeah…" One muttered, unable to take her eyes off Perry. "Yeah, but I thought you were just joking then!" Her face soured. "Of course, given the fact that I thought the same thing about your whole i-i-incest thing, I should have known."

Four smirked, sitting down opposite Kevin. "That's part of how we keep it a secret. Who would ever suspect it?"

"Which secret?"

"Both of them."

Before this could derail into another discussion about the relationship between Phineas and Candace, Kevin spoke up, her instincts prompting her to defuse the conflict almost without realizing that was what she was doing. And besides, she did have something important to say. "You mentioned that zebras and platypuses and dogs and cats are like fish here" she said. "Or at least, that most people think they are."

"In most cases they are, yes – and when they aren't, few people know about it" Four replied. "What do you – oh." She blinked. "I suppose it's a good thing we had this discussion before dinner."

A chill ran down Kevin's spine. "You – you mean it's true?" she whispered. It had been a stray thought, a potential implication that she had wanted to clarify because surely she was overthinking this, but… "People actually eat them? Platypuses, and zebras, and…"

"Well, not them," Four corrected her. "Not most of the time, at least." She took a few steps closer to Kevin and put a hand on her shoulder. "But when it comes to pigs and cows and sheep and chickens… yes, I'm afraid so. OWCA has a tight regulatory policy now, though, so the only ones that get eaten are the ones that truly aren't sentient. So it's no different from fish."

Kevin shuddered. She knew that was true, that it made perfect sense for the people in this dimension to eat non-sentient animals… but even with that in mind, it creeped her out. She had some friends who were chickens, or pigs. The thought that they could be eaten by others if they had been born in this other dimension was enough to disgust her beyond belief.

But they aren't, her mind tried to tell her. These creatures aren't alive in the same way they are in your dimension. They are like fish, remember? It all makes sense to eat them.

It made no sense at all. She had… no immediate logical objections, and yet, she was incredibly creeped out beyond belief.

And yet, she felt that strong urge to yell at Four and One for the monstrous crimes they had no doubt committed.

A horrifying thought occurred to her that banished all other horrifying thoughts from the forefront of her mind. She hadn't given much thought to the 'cheese' salad she was eating earlier, because she had figured that she simply didn't know this cheese thing. It was probably just something exotic from another country that she'd never heard of or eaten before – that happened all the time. But with this in mind…

"I… I had this thing called 'cheese' sprayed over my salad this morning" she spoke up, shivering. "Was that…" She couldn't finish her sentence. She didn't want to discover that she'd been basically reduced to cannibalism, but… she had to know. She needed to be tough and brave it out, because if she didn't, the idea of what had been in that salad would haunt her for the rest of her days.

Four smiled reassuringly at her. "No, cheese isn't meat – that's what we call the edible parts of animals," she replied. "It's made out of milk, actually."

Kevin was relieved for all of one second before something new grossed her out. "What, like a mother's milk?"

Four frowned. "No, like cow's milk… oh. I get what you mean." She smiled vaguely. "If it makes you feel any better, it's soy cheese – that's artificial cheese created from plants. I have to eat it that way because I'm lactose intolerant – that basically means I'm mildly allergic to all products made out of milk."

Kevin supposed that that thought made her feel a little better. So it wasn't real mother's milk or something derived from it, but it was something specifically designed to emulate it. Not to mention the creepy idea of being allergic to something derived from cows. It was almost – not quite, of course, but almost – the same as being allergic to humans. Maybe there were some people out there who couldn't eat humans because they were allergic to them? It all sounded like very bizarre science-fiction.

And speaking of science-fiction…

"Your neighborhood looks really cool!" Candace Six gushed, walking into the room. "I've never seen such large grassy fields in a residential area – outside of Naboo, of course, and there you can't go for more than a few steps without running into a forest or a waterfall. Waterfalls are such wastes, by the way. It's water falling down over and over again, without anyone using it. Sure, it was a beautiful sight when Phineas and I went there on our honeymoon, but after some time we just got freaked out by the fact that it was all flowing away without being used. Oh, and I spoke to Five this morning – is it true that your planet has it all? Deserts, and waterfalls, and snow, and forests?" She grinned. "That's pretty cool, really."

"Well, somebody is in a good mood," Four remarked as Six joined their table – even One had returned to sitting down and eating her soggy cereal now, albeit at a long distance from Kevin.

Six shrugged. "It's something Phineas taught me. I know we're in a bad situation, and we're not out of the woods by a long shot, but there is hope, and in the meantime we have to keep our spirits up. I… I'm not always good at it, and I always try to stay alert because bad things do happen, but I do try to relax."

"You're… the one from outer space, aren't you?" Kevin spoke up. "Do you have sentients up there? I mean, you obviously do, but do you have othersentient species, species that aren't human like us?"

"We do" Six affirmed, frowning briefly. "Like Twi'leks, or Wookiees, or Togruta's… why, what's your point? Are you saying that… they don't exist here?"

"That's one part of it, yes" Kevin replied. "Or at least, I think so?" She glanced up at Four for a split second. "But I was mainly wondering whether that means you guys still eat… something called 'meat' up there. We'd been having this… discussion about it, and I was wondering whether that worked for you as well, considering you have this entirely different background compared to us."

Six thoughtfully put a hand to her chin. "I guess that's true? Well, we still eat meat in our galaxy. Not of any of the species I just mentioned, of course, but there are plenty of other ones that aren't sentient. Take bantha's, for instance. My brother-in-law makes the best bantha stew you've ever tasted. It's a recipe from his mother. I'd go crazy if I could never eat that again."

Kevin nodded, feeling rather uncertain about this whole thing. On one hand, Six did eat meat, of quite a few species apparently, but there were plenty of other non-human sentient species around in her world(s) which she didn't eat. That was… that was vaguely relatable. Kevin could work with that. It was no weirder than eating fish, and she'd done that once on a cultural exchange program. Which had been a strange experience in itself, but nowhere near as gross as eating cheese or meat would be.

Before she could spent too much time mulling over this subject (and realizing what must have been in the refrigerator or the fridge that morning) One spoke up. "You… you said you were married to Phineas, right?" she said, still unable to keep the revulsion out of her voice. "Because you guys didn't know at first that… well, that you were siblings?" Six nodded. "So how… how did that work?"

Six blinked, seeing Four and One looking at her with interest. "Well, that's a long story" she replied. "I left Tatooine when I was just a little girl – in retrospect, I suppose I could have been captured by the Empire or at least brainwashed or influenced to some extent, but at the time I was convinced that I was doing the right thing. I'd always hated it when people complained for no reason, and the Empire offered me a chance to dosomething about it. I became one of the most zealous soldiers the galaxy had… but that all ended on the Death Star. I suppose… have you guys heard of the Death Star? You know, the big super weapon the Empire built to wipe out opposition to its reign?"

"I know there was something called a 'Peace Moon' in Space Adventure IV," Candace Four mused. "It was a pretty creative idea, or at least, it was until they had to top it with that Armistice Asteroid in Part V. That was… kind of silly, if you ask me." She shook her head. "Still, as far as I know no such thing ever existed in real life, and I think I've been to outer space often enough to be able to tell. I suppose there is that giant omnicidal tower still out there… but I don't think that's quite the same thing."

Six stared at her for a long time before shaking her head. "Okay, so like I said, the Death Star was where it all happened. I was… I don't think I was much older than you are now, One. My squad and I were assigned to guard duty… or actually we had a mission to get socks for Darth Vader, but that's another long story that I don't want to bore you with. We managed to run across some rebels who had stolen the plans for the Death Star, and in my attempts to pursue the rebel I ended up falling off a ledge. I would have plummeted into a deep chasm if I hadn't been able to hold on, but I knew I couldn't do that for much longer… and then the rebel came, and helped me back up." She shook her head, a slight smile appearing on her face. "That rebel was Phineas, and even after all those years I've known him since then I can't imagine why he saved me. He just did. And it… it turned my life around. I realized that the Empire I'd been serving all these years was wrong, and that I wanted to be with the Rebellion… or at least, I wanted to be where Phineas was. I saved him from his brother – that's another long story – and we just managed to catch the last bus pod off the Death Star. That night, at the party at the Rebel Base, I realized with some help from my squad that I was in love with him. It took some time to win him over because he'd gotten a crush on a smuggler named Isabella – I guess that could be the same Isabella that's married to your galaxy's Ferb here? – but in the end, he returned my feelings. It was only after that that I found out that we were related, and, well, it seemed so irrelevant. Maybe if I'd known right away it would have stopped me, but not at that point. We chose to stay together, and it's the best decision I've ever made in my life. Which isn't saying much, but like Phineas always says, it doesn't matter how many wrong decisions you make before you make the right one as long as you make that right one count for something."

Four smiled. "That's a really sweet story, Six. In our world, Phineas was the one who had to convince me – but, well, I suppose the entire dynamic would have been different there."

One's expression was something between insecure and just plain disturbed. "But… Phineas is still a few years younger than you, isn't he?" she asked. "So if you were about my age when you guys met, he… he would still have been a little kid, like my brother is. And Jeremy… don't tell me you don't even have him in your world!" She frowned. "Although I suppose that might make it worse, if Jeremy Johnson was around but you… you still decided to go for your brother."

Kevin could see that Six was disturbed by One's reaction, but equally so that she was determined not to let it get to her. "I told you, I didn't know he was my brother, and I don't know anybody named Jeremy Johnson" she replied. "And even if I had met him then, he wouldn't have been the guy who had saved my life, the infinitely kind guy who had gotten me to rethink everything I knew about who I was. And yes, Phineas is a couple of years my junior. So what? It's not like I was so much of an adult at the time, given how I still thought that oppressing rebels was the right thing to do. I just wanted to be cool, and mature, but in reality that was the most immature thing I could have wanted. Whereas Phineas was entirely focused on saving people like me, people who could have been his enemies but whom he was determined to make his friends." She looked up at the ceiling, a far-away look in her eyes. "He was older and wiser than I was in many ways – and he still is to this day. The best partner I could ever have asked for."

Candace One stared at her. "I… I…" She shook her head and slumped back down. "That's not true" she murmured softly. "That's not true."

Kevin herself wasn't sure what to make of Six's claims. Yes, Petra was a great guy, and she loved her brother dearly, but he did have his moments of naivety which Six was glossing over (well, unless her Phineas was fundamentally different to Petra, but somehow Kevin doubted that). And then there was Six's obvious connection of that praise for their brother to the idea that she should be in a romantic relationship with him, and that… well, that certainly wasn't something Kevin was prepared to do. Her little brother was great, but she was in love with someone else, and from the expressions on her face Six almost seemed to be implying that she believed that Kevin and One and all the others should be with him in a romantic way as well. Which was not something Kevin was at all prepared to contemplate.

The doorbell rang, suddenly disturbing Kevin's reverie. Four pairs of eyes shot to the living room door, but it was Candace Four who stood up. "It's probably Ferb" she said. "He did say that he would be coming over as soon as he could."

Kevin nodded, wondering whether the guy she was about to meet was as similar to the Fern Fletcher she knew as the near-identical names seemed to indicate. From looking around the table, Six had the same question on her mind, while One was still too broken up over the recent conversation to really think about anything.

'Ferb' entered a few moments later, and at first glance he did look almost exactly like Fern – tall, green haired, and a relatively stoic expression. Candace Six looked up at him and grinned. "Hey Ferb!" she said. "So, you're married to Isabella here, huh? That's definitely… different." She shook her head, and when she next looked at him it was a strange look of unfamiliarity and unease, as if she was looking at a stranger after initially assuming he was a friend. "I mean, if it's what you want? It can't be easy for you, or for the kids, but I… well, I guess it's none of my business."

There seemed to be a twinkle of amusement in Ferb's eyes before he gave her a brief nod. Candace One, by contrast, just stared at him. "You… you're so tall," she blurted out.

"Well, obviously" Four said with a grin. "It has been more than twenty years, you know. I guess that it technically hasn't, since you're from 2038 in your world… but that's a long story" she finished, looking at Ferb, who was giving her an inquisitive look. "Hey, I told you that this was a strange situation."

Ferb chuckled. "I can deal with a little strangeness, Candace," he replied in a familiar British-accented baritone. "Are you coming with us?"

Candace Four nodded. "I am. Let me just check upon the kids first." She shook her head. "Phineas and I agreed that we shouldn't let them get involved on the first day – he didn't want any of my counterparts to run into them, and I… well, these issues can get sensitive, and I don't want Xavier and Mandy running around that. I know they think they can help, and to some extent I'm sure they can, but not just yet." She frowned. "By the way, how are Isabella and the kids holding out? Itching with nervousness and frustrated that they can't come over yet?" Ferb gave her a look. "I know, I know. An army of me's isn't that exciting. But it is something new, you know."

Ferb gave a barely perceptible nod and Four walked off into the hallway, leaving the three of them all alone. "So, you're Ferb?" Kevin asked. "You… your name is Fern in my world. I know that must make you think you're probably a girl there, but you're not. Apparently between our dimensions, the names belonging to each gender got switched."

Ferb didn't answer. Given what she knew of her stepbrother, Kevin hadn't really expected him to do so. She wasn't even sure why she had spoken up in the first place, besides a growing desire to get away from the disturbing things that still plagued her thoughts. Ugh, she should be better than this. She should be able to maintain control. Kevin was sure that the Hirano woman would laugh if she saw her losing her cool like this.

"You're still Phineas' stepbrother where I come from" Six spoke up. "And you can use the Force. But you're not a Jedi, aren't you? I mean, the prohibition on attachment has been relaxed, but I doubt you'd be able to get away with straight-up being married and having kids if you were a full-fledged member of the Order."

"In my world, you're just Ferb," Candace One said, apparently feeling the desire to speak up as well – maybe it was just because she wanted to feel included. "You're my little brother, and you and Phineas build impossible things in the backyard." She frowned. "I don't want to accuse you of anything… and, well, I know this isn't true, I've seen them disappear without you doing anything for so many times, but… you didn't really have anything to do with the Mysterious Force, did you?"

"Of course he does!" Six exclaimed. "He may not be a particularly strong Force sensitive, but he can use it. Ferb, can you lift that apple?"

"The Force hasn't got anything to do with apples!" Candace One snapped. "I mean, I suppose it would if they were hyper-advanced apples… somehow… and that's why Mom wouldn't be allowed to see them, but that doesn't make any sense."

Ferb smiled. "What does, in our lives?"

"Xavier and Amanda are okay," Candace Four said, walking back in and taking immediate advantage of the silence that had fallen over the room. "I was definitely right, though – Xavier was already messaging Fred about trying to sneak behind our backs for a visit to Flynn-Fletcher Incorporated. I just disabled the teleportation app on their phones again. Did you do the same thing for your kids?" Ferb blinked. "Good. Then as far as I'm concerned, we can go. I'll text Phineas to tell him we're coming."

They walked off into the hallway, past the kids' door (which One deliberately avoided by walking on the other side of the corridor) but Four didn't stay quiet. "I know I'm being a little harsh on them" she said. "I mean, they're teenagers. They want to prove themselves, and they want to get involved. I've been there – heck, I suppose you could say that I'm still there."

"Hey!" One exclaimed, protesting not so much against the words but against the pointed look Four was shooting her.

"But I just want to keep all this under control as well as I can, for now" Four continued. "A lot of the things we're inevitably going to discuss… they're private. Xavier, Amanda, Angie, Fred and Milly shouldn't get involved – they shouldn't even want to get involved. But you know how kids are. You ask them to stay inside, and that's only going to result in them putting up holographic images of themselves and teleporting to places where they can't be detected."

Kevin wasn't sure what disturbed her so much about that sentence. Maybe it was the casual way in which Candace Four had said it, and how Ferb Four had nodded along. Sure, it could be one of those jokes in which you made a point of the weirdness around you and at one point stopped laughing about it because it had become a running gag… but it didn't feel like that. It had been a serious comment coming from Candace, and Ferb had treated it as such.

This dimension… was different to her own. The relationship between Candace and Phineas proved that. The names proved that, of course. The way they ate this 'meat' proved it. And the personal lives in which kids regularly put up holographic images of themselves in order to escape detection proved it.

It shouldn't disturb her, really. She was in a different place, a different world, and she should know to take the things around her in stride. Like she had mentioned to Candace Six, when in Rome, you should do as the Romans do. Except that Kevin knew that if she were to travel to the Ancient Rome of this world, she wouldn't be travelling to the Empire that had first allowed equids a say in a national government. And if even the past was different like that, the present would be likely to be even more different.

She'd try, Kevin resolved as she joined the others in Ferb's car. She would attempt to keep the peace. It was her duty to ensure that the democratic will of those around her was followed when possible and that tough decisions were taken when necessary. For neither of those tasks could she use a judgment that was clouded by her own background. Therefore, she needed to try to cope.

But unlike when she had woken up this morning, Kevin wasn't so sure whether she would always be able to succeed.