Love Changing Blues – Chapter X

"She asked you out." Dr Habib's tempered voice broke the quiet of the dark room.

Will didn't respond. His mind was still haunted with memories, with promises and hopes that now lay shattered in his hands. He was so happy then. That night of the broadcast, he felt that he was invincible, that everything in life had finally aligned itself and made sense – but now that ghost of bliss had rotted, hanging painfully in his chest. Why couldn't he just let it go? Why couldn't he just forgive her?

"There was a linguist…" Jacob spoke up, snapping Will out from his thoughts.

He looked back at the doctor as he sat securely in his large leather chair, his gaze focused intently on Will.

"What?" Will grumbled, rubbing his forehead in frustration, wishing this session would just end.

"Why is the sky blue? One of the first things a child asks, right?" Habib carried on despite Will's look of ambivalence. "There was a linguist who decided to do an experiment on the color of the sky. So, when he had a young daughter, he taught her all the colors, told her what was red, what was yellow, what was blue. Everything, expect for the sky. No one ever told her the sky was blue. After few years, whenever it was a clear sunny day, he would take her for a walk, and ask what color the flowers were, what color the cars were, and she would answer them all correctly. But then he would point to the sky.

And she would say… nothing. She didn't even think it was a proper question. The sky wasn't a color; it was just a void.

Sometimes the things we think we know can be wrong. Sometimes our beliefs are revealed to be completely unfounded."

"Don't I know it." Will grumbled darkly as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Yes." The doctor answered directly. "You do. But not in the way you think."

Will looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"You call her Dulcinea." Habib said, matter-of-factly.

"That's… that's from Don Quixote." He explained with disinterest. "And The Man From La Mancha. She's – "

"I know where she's from." The doctor cut him off. "Which is why I find it interesting that you call MacKenzie that."

"It's that stupid metaphor she used when she came back, and Dulcinea's the just main woman in the book." Will finished the sentence for him.

"She's also the woman that Don Quixote proclaims as his 'Lady Love'." Habib added. "The one who he fights for, the one who he does 'righteous' deeds in the name of. Except in reality, she has no idea about this. Don Quixote thinks she's the love of his life but she just thinks he's some crazy old man."

An unexpected pain stabbed through his chest, like a wound he had tried so hard to forget. He glared darkly at the psychiatrist.

"What are you trying to get at?" He snapped.

"You brought Brian in as punishment because she didn't respond your admission of love over the voicemail. You waited two years before you decided to finally ask her to marry you, even though you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her from the moment you met. And when you met, she was already dating one in a very long line of men, so when she swung over to you, you thought maybe you were just another name on the list.

This whole time you've believed you're the one who's the most in love. The one who fell head over heels from first sight, the one who's chasing, the one who went all in, while MacKenzie was just the one who went along for the ride.

But this whole time you've been wrong. Because you've missed something so clear and so obvious, because no-one has pointed it out to you - you've seen it, but you just haven't noticed it."

"Noticed what?" Will barked, tired of the doctor's games.

"That MacKenzie is in love with you. That MacKenzie has been in love with you pretty much since you first met. Sure, she only realised her love later on in the relationship, but it is clear from her actions that she was in love with you from the beginning. And that she still is. You think your love for her is deeper but the reality is she's right there with you. She just has a different way of showing it.

You've spent these past few months - this past year even – trying to hurt her in order to equalize out the pain from when she cheated on you, except you haven't noticed that she felt as much pain from her infidelity as you did.

You can't forgive MacKenzie because she betrayed you. But the thing is, you weren't the only one she betrayed when she slept with Brian. She betrayed herself."

Will was frozen in his seat, his heart pumping at a frenetic pace as Habib's words flooded his mind. He couldn't be right. Could he? A rush of something he had not felt for years rose up in his chest. Hope.

No. He mustn't let himself hope. It would be his downfall again.

"She can't love me." He muttered in doubt. "She's… everything. But me?"

"Why did she kiss you? Why did she trust you from the beginning? Why did she cover the Casey Anthony trial? Why did she come back to News Night at all?"

"Then why did she cheat?" He forced out the question, each word more painful and confusing then the next.

"Because she was confused, because was scared of how deep your relationship was, because she could make up for her being rejected – why does anyone make mistakes?" Habib leaned towards him in his chair. "But that's what she did. She made a mistake. And you've been making her pay for it for a very long time."

Will fell back into the dark leather couch, bringing his hand over his eyes as the guilt suddenly burned in his chest.

"How could I have been so blind?" He growled with regret, his memories now clearing with realisation.

"We are all blind in love. Even more so when we are hurt." Jacob said sympathetically. "But now – now you can see the truth of it. Now you can see the color blue." Will slowly dropped the hand from his face as the doctor leaned in closer and stared at him directly in the eyes. "So what are you going to do about it?"

N/B

Exactly! What IS he going to do about it?

So, this is a small chapter, but it's sort of the rounding out of the whole story, and the next chapter (also possibly smallish) is more of an epilogue. So sorry about the lack of words, but wouldn't you prefer it this way then just getting both thrown at you at the same time and the story just suddenly ending? I'm going to take that 'no' of yours as a 'yes!'.

But yes, Dr Habib has finally smacked some sense into the poor man – now let's just hope he acts on it!

So, to see what does or doesn't happen next, please be an amazingly awesome human being and press the review button. I love you all. I really do.

Your reviews are like Rosetta stone to my incomprehensible muddle of a brain – So thanks!