Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Gosh darn it!

A/N Just so you know, I'm going back to college next week. That doesn't mean I'll never update, just not as frequently. But I promise not to leave you hanging for long.

Ménage

Chapter 10 – Tell Your Heart I Said No

When Bella was six, she wanted to marry Cary Grant. But he was, you know, dead, and even if he wasn't, he'd still be much too old, as she was informed of by her mom.

It was normal for children to have an idealistic outlook on adulthood and marriage. That was all squashed for Bella not long after, but there had still been a point when she'd wanted to marry Cary Grant, as innocent as the wish was.

Bella had never really been attracted to anyone before, at least not in a sexual manner. James definitely had a hand in that. There had certainly been enough people attracted to her, though she had trouble seeing what they saw. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't beautiful, either, and no one knew her well enough to be taken in by her "glowing" personality. Socializing wasn't her forte. Maybe it was the challenge of getting the silent girl to open up, to crack her, that got people. One of the most popular boys at school, Josh Riggs, asked her out. He pursued her for a whole semester. He was cute, she supposed, but he did nothing for her. In the end he gave up on her and asked out some girl named Michelle who was definitely not a challenge. He knocked her up not long after. That made Bella all the more glad that she wasn't interested in boys.

Then there was Victor and Laurent. Victor was the worst. Aside from his creepy-ass way of looking at her, he wasn't bad on the eyes. Kind of lanky with wild red hair. But he was a lecherous pervert with a greedy hand in the world of crime. And he'd tried to rape her. So had the strange and smooth-talking Laurent. It was hard to believe that there were decent men out there when this was what she was presented with.

So, it wasn't surprising that Bella had never felt the stirrings of attraction before. She didn't want to, anyway.

Then Jasper had to take his shirt off. It took her by surprise, the draw she felt to him. It was unnatural for her, and she didn't like it. She didn't want to want someone, but here was Jasper Cullen sans every article of clothing except his boxers, and he was coming at her like he did want her, which, well, he did.

He crossed the short distance between them, not taking his eyes off of her once. He had this intense way about him that was both electrifying and startling. It was as if nothing existed in the world except her. That was the way it was when he looked at her like that. It was different from how her father looked at her. With him she was the prey and he the starving lion. It wasn't thrilling to be looked at like that by him, but with Jasper, he didn't create fear, but excitement.

He was in front of her now, bare-chested and just so touchable it was ridiculous. She did not want to touch him. Absolutely not. Just repeat that a few more times, Bella, and it'll stick.

Jasper hadn't meant for her to see him like this, but he couldn't honestly say he was unhappy about it. She was there, her mouth partially open in shock and (he hoped) lust. She was simply adorable, irresistible, and just perfectly there that he couldn't stop himself, couldn't think straight. His mind became hazy and he only had one focus: Bella. He knew it was too soon for her, but her lips were like magnets and he found himself lured. She was staring at him, and it excited him. How many times had he imagined her looking at him as she was now? How many times had he looked at her the same way?

Bella saw the look in his eyes, the want. Saw him standing there so close and almost touching; heard his shallow breaths and felt her own pounding heartbeat. Jasper was perfectly still.

And then he had her in his arms.

He kissed her, hard, but not demanding. He was lost at the simple act of placing his lips on hers. He wouldn't ask for more; no tongue, but his fingers were making a mess of her hair before he could stop himself, and he moaned rather loudly. Bella didn't kiss back. It wasn't that she hated it. She'd love to hate it, but she actually enjoyed it to a small degree, and that was frightening. Jasper took it the wrong way, disappointed, but he'd been expecting that. He pulled away, assessing her. Had he gone too far? Was it too much? Would she not talk to him for days?

"I'm so sorry, Bella! I shouldn't have done that!"

Bella put her hand up to stop him. "No, it's okay. I just…don't know what I'm feeling right now. It's a bit overwhelming and confusing. You have very nice lips." Might as well admit it. No shame in that.

That made Jasper pause a moment. She liked his lips. Well, there was a start past that line between friends and lovers. Perhaps he shouldn't have kissed her, but not a bone in his body regretted it. He was pretty sure it'd keep him smiling all week. As long as it didn't bother her.

"Was it too much?"

Bella cast her eyes down, sheepish. "Yeah, but I know you didn't mean any harm. It was actually kind of pleasant. I'm just not ready for any of that. We're becoming friends, right? And I like that. So no kissing, 'cause then we won't be friends."

Jasper frowned. Friends. He hated that word coming from her mouth, but it would have to do for now. And maybe, in time, she'd want more than that.

Bella began untangling herself from him; his hand was webbed into the hair at the base of her neck, and an arm was around her waist.

Bella touched his chest, lightly, on accident. It sent a jolt through him. He gasped, capturing her offending hand before she could withdraw it. He closed his eyes, trying to keep his lust in check. "Bella," he murmured, and Bella was shocked at how pained he sounded, "don't do that, darling. I'll be your friend, but it'd be a lot easier if you didn't touch me like that. It drives me crazy, and it makes me want to kiss you all over again."

Bella gulped. "Sorry." He released her hand, and she slipped out of the bathroom, hoping that the furious blush staining her cheeks would die down.

Jasper's lips tingled. He'd tasted Bella, and he wanted to exult in it, to tell his brothers and gloat like no one ever gloated before. Because he'd kissed Bella.

It was quiet the rest of the day. Bella ordered new clothes online and Emmett taught her how to play certain videogames. Jasper read and caught up on grading papers. Bella ignored him, but her face flushed every time he entered the room.

He was dumbfounded when he went into the kitchen to make dinner that night and found Edward doing it instead.

"Edward, you're cooking?"

Edward turned around. "Yeah, so?"

"You hate cooking."

"Not for Bella. I love cooking for Bella."

"Oh, I see, so that isn't for us, then. Jackass."

Edward rolled his eyes. "You can have some. I will allow you to eat, not that you deserve it."

Jasper crossed his arms over his chest. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What did you do to Bella?"

How did he know? "What do you mean?" He asked carefully. Edward might get mad about what he'd done, but Bella wasn't actually scared. He didn't hurt her, just lost himself for a few good seconds.

"She won't look at you and she's been blushing like crazy around you. What. Did. You. Do?"

Jasper sighed, sweeping a hand through his hair (a Cullen habit). "She walked in on me undressed in the bathroom…" Edward's eyes went wide. "I wasn't naked. But I, um…I may have kissed her."

Edward almost dropped the knife he was holding. "What! You kissed her? You can't do that. She isn't ready for that. She doesn't even like us in that way yet. W-what did she do? Did she freak out?"

Jasper sat down. "She didn't…hate it, but she said she wasn't ready for that and she wants to be friends, which I understand. I'm just glad I didn't send her screaming from the room. I couldn't help myself."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "As long as she's okay. I'd hate for her to be upset. She only started tolerating us a little while ago. I can't say I don't want to kiss her, too, though." He shot him a pensive glance. "How was it?"

"Fanfuckingtastic."

"I hate you."

"That's because you're jealous." Jasper smirked.

Edward threw a carrot at him.

Emmett seemed to be getting on like white on rice with Bella, but she still wouldn't look at Jasper. It wasn't that she was mad at him or anything, just embarrassed. He figured he would give her time, and if she was still acting like this in a day or two, he'd have a talk with her.

Edward told Bella she could have his room. She said that was ridiculous, and where would he sleep?

"On the couch."

"That's stupid. I'll sleep on the couch."

"No, you won't. I will. I demand it."

"Don't be a dumbass. This is your house, I'm just an intruder. I'm taking the couch." At first she had wanted to stay in there. It had a bed, after all. But she hated the fact that she'd be putting Edward out. It was his bed, his room. He needed it more, anyway. He was the one who had to get up early and go to work. He needed a comfortable bed more, and since he was the one doing her a favor by letting her stay in his house, it was only right.

"Bella, since this is my house, I make the rules, and the rules clearly state that any person bearing the name Bella Mercury are to have Edward Cullen's bedroom, and all of Edward Cullen's personal effects are at her disposal. See? You can't get around it. It's practically a law. You have to take it or you'll be arrested and thrown into Emmett's room. And he snores. You don't want that."

Bella suppressed a smile. "Edward, I'm a lady, and a lady's wish trumps any dumb made-up rules that a guy makes. The couch is mine."

"Be-"

"Don't 'Bella' me! If you don't do as I say, I won't talk to you for a week and I refuse to eat." Way to not be dramatic, Bella. Sure you're sane?

Edward relented. "Fine," he grumbled, "but I'm not happy about this. My bed is your bed. You'll wish you'd taken my offer when you realize how lumpy and smelly the couch really is."

"You're exaggerating." Bella scoffed.

"No, I'm right. You won't look at the couch the same way again."

"Edward, I slept on it on Friday, remember?"

"Yeah, but that was Friday. You were exhausted and could barely keep your eyes open. Come on, Bella. My bed is much nicer than the couch." He whined.

"Maybe it is, but my answer is still no."

There was no reasoning with her. She had a silly notion in her head. If he wasn't such a gentleman and wasn't worried about scaring her, he'd say, 'No worries Bella. We can both take the bed. Great compromise, eh?' He didn't have any nasty thoughts about her and him being in the same bed, at least not right that minute. He just wanted her to be comfortable, not reduced to a stinky couch that had seen more than its share of beer spills and massive Emmett-farts. Besides, it was proper etiquette. Females never took the couch. The men did. Everyone knew that; except her, apparently.

She put on a whole I-am-so-happy-to-be-sleeping-on-the-couch act, and Edward had to laugh. Bella was a weird girl. It was another thing he loved about her. But she still should have taken the bed.

Jasper couldn't sleep. The kiss kept replaying in his mind, and he was hyper-aware that Bella was less than thirty feet from his room. He contemplated watching her sleep, but decided against it. He had to be up early, and a tired Jasper was a cranky Jasper. And he was pretty sure Bella would yell at him if she awoke to find him watching her like a creep. He would have offered her his bedroom, of course, but that would inevitably be considered a worse offer than Edward's. His sheets weren't clean, either, which she probably knew. Kissing her had gotten him worked-up. She was a smart girl and had likely figured it out.

Actually, aside from the fact that men generally didn't bother washing their sheets more than once a month, Jasper was sure that none of the Cullens' sheets were clean. They were men, after all, and Bella was right there, the fantasy girl of their wet dreams, only real and in their home.

Maybe the couch was a good idea.

Then again, Bella was having trouble getting comfortable. There really were several rather pesky lumps, and now that Edward had mentioned it, it did kind of smell.

Like cheese curls and alcohol and dead people. Eww. They needed to get a new couch. Seriously.

After tossing and turning (and falling off of the damned thing), Bella gave up. She had her pride, but it really was ridiculous. He did say she could sleep in his room…and she trusted him, as odd as that sounded, even to her. She was afraid of waking him, and crept as quietly as she could down the hall and to his door. She braced herself; didn't know if the door would creak or not. It didn't. Edward should be fast asleep by now. He'd been in bed nearly an hour and it was almost midnight now. Tentatively, she stepped inside, closing the door without making much noise. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Edward didn't stir when she slipped under the covers next to him. Bella was tired. It had been an emotionally taxing day, mainly because she had gone over her past with her father. Had it really been over forty-eight hours since she'd last seen him? That was…astounding. She'd never gone that long without seeing him, despite the fact that he was a doctor with demanding hours. Now, if she was extraordinarily lucky, she would never have to see him again (unless she killed him). Her escape would be permanent.

"I knew you preferred the bed."

Bella started and peered over at Edward, who was wide awake and grinning from ear to ear. Even in the dark she could tell. "I thought you were sleeping." She whispered, pissed at herself for waking him and for getting caught.

"I was just dozing. Couldn't stop thinking."

"I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"Of course not. Do you…do you want me to leave? I can take the couch if you're uncomfortable." He wanted to stay, naturally, but he'd hate to make her uneasy.

Bella thought a moment. Uncomfortable? No, she wasn't. "No, you can stay. I trust you, if you can believe it. I didn't think that was possible for me, but I feel safe with you. I don't think you'd hurt me. I can trust you, right?"

"Bella," Edward propped himself up on his elbow, facing her, "you can. I won't ever do anything to give you a reason to not feel completely safe with me. But if you're not sure about me, then I respect that. I want you to trust me when you're absolutely sure that you can."

"I already do." And she was sure.

Thank god, he thought.

"May I ask…do you trust Jasper?"

Bella furrowed her brow. "Sure. Why?"

Edward hesitated. "He told me what happened earlier. I thought you might have been upset about it." He tried not to show it, but he was envious. Yet she was right next to him in his bed, willingly, and wasn't that better than a kiss that didn't go anywhere?

"Oh, well, I wouldn't say I was upset. Surprised, I guess. But I trust Jasper, he's just more standoffish, you know? You and Emmett are easier to get to know. He's so…"

"Serious?"

Bella giggled. "Definitely. Serious and intense. I bet he thinks deep all the time."

"I think he probably does. He can laugh, too. He tends to think more logically, and he's more emotionally driven than we are. He gets ticked-off more easily than we do, too; not very good at taking things in stride, and he's not one to let go of things quickly. I guess it wouldn't be wrong to say that he takes everything in life a little too seriously, and he lets things get to him more than he should. But he does have a heart."

Bella fiddled with the sheets, twisting them around her hand. "I can see that. He doesn't laugh a lot. Or smile. I wish he would. He seems pretty miserable."

"He's not."

"What would make him happy?"

Edward went silent. This conversation had gone off-track. They were heading into dangerous territory. Now was not the time to resume his pledge of undying love for her and that of both his brothers. She didn't want to hear that. Didn't believe it. She was starting to see them as relatively sane, and he didn't want to blow that by saying the wrong thing.

"Edward?"

He looked at her. "He's not unhappy."

"He is. I'm making it worse, aren't I?"

Edward sat up. "Of course not! If anything, you're the one person who can make him happy." Shit, he said it. Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Bella turned away. "He doesn't love me Edward. Neither do you. Don't say things about me making anyone happy, because it's not true. I can't make jasper or anyone else happy."

Edward sighed, defeated, and laid his head on his pillow. "What can we do to convince you?" He asked, his voice hushed.

"Nothing. Just drop it."

"But you don't mind being friends? Friends can make each other happy."

"Friends are fine. I was even thinking that I might be a pseudo-sister type. I always kind of wanted a brother. Three would be nice. We could get along like that, don't you think?"

No. How can you say that? Edward had the terrible feeling that he was going to cry; felt the sting behind his eyes, sensed his chin trembling. She can't say things like that. Sister? She had no idea what she was talking about. It was a preposterous idea. Then again, maybe she was well aware of that. Maybe that's why she said it. Trying to dash his hope and all that. Trying to turn him off. As if that would make him stop loving her. A few words won't kill you, but they will cut.

Bella knew it hurt him, because he still had the notion planted in his head that they were soul mates, but she needed to help him and his brothers push that idea away. She said it knowing that it was a low blow. A sister was the furthest thing from their minds, and that was not how they thought of her in the least. She couldn't fathom just what feelings she had caused in Edward. Had no idea what he was at that instant.

Desolate

Hopeless

Fearful

Desperate

Small. He felt so small, like he was a child and had no say, no opinion that mattered, and she was the Queen of England. If she said no, then that meant no. No, Edward, you can't. Ever. Don't want that, don't want me. I'm telling you no.

And he felt alone laying next to her. If she never loved him, then he would be alone. Right now she had no feelings for him, and she was letting him know that she never would. He could never tell her that he loved her without getting rebuffed, never kiss her, never touch her, never make love to her, never have children with her, never have her be his. But he would always be hers.

Jasper woke up too early. The sun hadn't made its appearance yet, and he was the first one up. Already his mood was foul and he had a headache. He was not looking forward to school, and it wouldn't bode well for his students since he hardly slept. All night he thought about Bella. He shouldn't have kissed her. She was ignoring him, and he couldn't stand it. The scene replayed a dozen or so times and drove him crazy. He was torn between regret and happiness.

But he was not happy this morning. It was almost five. Edward and Emmett would be in bed until six. He had some time to kill. He'd make breakfast like he usually did, quietly, since Bella was still asleep on the couch. And then it struck him.

It wouldn't hurt to watch her for a few minutes. He'd wanted nothing more than to see her for hours, but he'd stopped himself. Now, though, he wouldn't. He needed to see her.

After a quick shower he got dressed, anticipation flooding him. The sun was barely peeking out, and the house was still dark. He walked up to the back of the couch and looked down. Bella wasn't there.

Wait, Bella wasn't there?

Where had she gone?

Fuck, did she leave? Jasper started to panic. Bella was gone! She could have left at any time. They would never be able to find her. Shit. It was because he kissed her, wasn't it? He did scare her away.

Jasper didn't know what to do. Go out and look for her? Wake his brothers?

Was she really gone?

He decided to check the house. The bathroom, no. Kitchen, no. Porch, no. Hallway closet, no. Dining room, nope. Basement, no, and it was locked, so she couldn't get down there even if she tried. There wasn't much point on checking the bedrooms, but he figured he might as well. His room, of course, was empty. No surprise. Emmett's was occupied by one lightly snoring giant and nobody else. Edward's was the only one left. If she wasn't there, she wasn't anywhere.

He opened the door. There was just enough light to see. And he did see.

Edward and Bella all curled into each other. Edward had his arm around Bella's waist; a leg thrown over hers; his face in her hair; chest pressed against her back. So cozy.

He hadn't expected that.

Jasper's heart dropped. She went to Edward? He couldn't help it, seeing them like that…he was jealous. She had sought out Edward instead of him; preferred him; wanted to sleep in the same bed with him; didn't mind touching him. Jasper felt crushed.

He had never thought of it before, that possibility. It just didn't occur to him that she might fall for only one of them and not all of them. It was meant to be the four of them, but what if she wanted just the one?

He knew he shouldn't have, but he didn't care. He stormed out, slamming the door behind him and startling Bella and Edward awake. Too bad.