"Pssst…..hey…Itachi…..wanna make a bet?" Sasori whispered as Zetsu and Kisame fought over the last guests to be seated. The last guests were neither on the bride's side nor the groom's….so there was controversy about where to sit them.

"Yeah, okay….uh I guess." Itachi said to Sasori.

"I bet you 25 dollars that Audrey chick flips out over the fact that Dana is actually the hottest girl here."

"Oh you are so on! Audrey won't flip out, it's her fucking wedding! She's going to get laid tonight…did you know that girl has never gotten any!?" Itachi said. However, he got the dagger eyes from Kisame to shut up. Sasori and Olivia were the first to head down the aisle.

"Sasori?" she whispered.

"Yeah?" he said as they made their way very slowly.

"You look so hot today." Ah yes, Olivia was a wild child, she was really in to Sasori.

"No, no Olivia you do sweetheart." She smiled as they approached the front of the church. Of course everyone in the church saw him slap her ass before they parted ways. She laughed like crazy….yeah that would have gone over real well with the bride.

"Okay, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, yeah." As you can imagine poor little Camille was freaking out.

"I can't do this, I can't do this." She pleased with him.

"Yes you can, yeah! Oh! I have an excellent idea, yeah. Here….we'll tie this pillow to you in case you fall over and I can't catch you, yeah!" Deidara said tying her haphazardly to a pillow. And so Deidara and Camille headed towards the front of the church. Kisame shook his head in confusion and looked at Zetsu. Zetsu gave him that 'I don't know man…' look. Well, Camille did faint…into Deidara who fortunately caught her….everything would have been just fine had he not used the Holy Water…or his tongue to wake her up…

"Okay Dana, so far all those other dumb asses have screwed up. Now it's our turn to show these people what they came here for!" Itachi coached. Dana's face lit up.

"Oh! You mean how to get to the hotel where the reception is, yeah?" Dana asked being completely serious.

"No baby, no….Dana…we're the truly beautiful people so let's show them that!"

"Oooooh! Okay, yeah." And so Itachi and Dana took off down the aisle. Of course they walked too fast because they viewed it more as a runway than a church aisle. Yes, they indeed turned heads mainly because they paused at the front of the church and decided to pose for all the fashion photographers that weren't there….in the midst of watching all this, Kisame really wanted a shot of scotch to just forget it all…

FINALLY, Audrey came prancing down the aisle in all her bridal glory. However, she shot death daggers at Dana the moment she got in front of Hidan. She hated the way Dana was a natural blonde with a smile to melt hearts. Hidan knew this was his time. Sasori mouthed the words 'pay up' to Itachi.

"Dearly beloved!" And then the people in the church pews began to scream in horror…..Hidan had thrust his giant sythe-sword combo into the air. "Oh, sorry, sorry, seriously…okay here it is….dearly beloved!" this time he thrust the Bible into the air. Hidan read and read and read and read and read and read and read and read until practically everyone had fallen asleep and Audrey had turned as red as a fiery sunset. "Okay, now you may kiss the bride!" Hidan proclaimed. The cheers throughout the church were that of 'thank god this wedding is over' not so much congratulations. Spite all the weirdness that occurred before Audrey entered the church….she was happy. But, now came the time that everyone was really looking forward to about this wedding….the reception. Audrey was having a huge spread of food and not to mention the bar oooooh things were going to go from wild to wilder….

The reception was in the ball room of another hotel and when they entered the ballroom Sasori saw the one thing that terrified him….a dance floor…it wasn't so much that he would have to dance….it was the fact that he knew Tobi would. And no one was ready for that.

"I am so hungry; I hope that this food is worth all this trouble we've gone through." Zetsu said.

"Do you think her cake will be low fat, yeah? Dana asked.

"Oh my god Dana! I was thinking that same thing….it's like we're psychotic or something, yeah." Deidara said. Itachi shook his head in disgust.

"Deidara! The word is PSYCHIC and you two definitely AREN'T!" Itachi hissed.

"Oooooh." Deidara said with a hint of sadness.

Once inside the ballroom they found the 'Akatsuki' table. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you view the situation the bridesmaids had places at the Akatsuki table.

"Itachi? How does my ass look in this dress, yeah? I was really self-conscious about it during the wedding, yeah." Dana said.

"Dana, your ass looks hot." Itachi assured her.

"Like do me hot, or like she works out hot, yeah?" Dana asked.

"Do me hot." Itachi told her.

"Okay, yeah." Dana felt much better.

"Whoa, check out the buffet. God! I can't wait until the bride and groom get here so we can eat!" Kisame said. Zetsu sat at the table but he couldn't see anyone on the other side because of the giant center piece in the table.

"You know I would CALL OROCHIMARU if some BLONDE DUMBASS hadn't destroyed my phone!" Sasori said rolling his eyes.

"Oh, Sasori. Let's you and I hit the martini bar. If you're lucky you'll forget about the phone and start thinking about my underwear." Olivia said.

"You are the coolest bridesmaid in the world!" Sasori proclaimed sweeping her off to the bar.

"So, do you like feel better now, yeah?" Deidara asked Camille readjusting her hair around her face.

"Yes, thanks for tying the pillow to me and catching me." Camille said. So far this wedding was low key…..Zetsu and Hidan reeeeeallly wanted it to stay that way. However, that lasted for about 4.7 seconds because Dana and Deidara screamed like the girls they were when the DJ played 'Promiscuous Girl'. They had been doing a duet to that ever since that song hit the radio and right now was no exception. Zetsu and Hidan were not pleased.

"Why does he have to do that? Why? Why can't he be like every other brother and hate his sister?" Sasori asked disgruntled. He had to admit that he was partially jealous because Deidara looked so incredibly good in his Armani tux and Dana was the most beautiful sister anyone could ever ask for….damn why did Sasori turn his sisters into puppets! They were so nice! The bride and the groom came into the reception hall and it was time to conquer the buffet. Akatsuki took the term buffet quite literally because Kisame, Tobi, Hidan, Zetsu and Sasori each had 3 plates a piece….however Deidara and Itachi being the weight conscious girls that they were, had half of one plate.

"What are you putting in my mouth, yeah?" Dana asked.

"It's not what I put in your mouth last night, here just lick it." Itachi told her. At this point Sasori and Hidan were staring pretty hard at these two.

"Oh you are a sick fuck! You know that! I know what you're thinking! You damn perverts! Last night I made Dana try a dried low sugar apricot….she didn't like it!" Itachi laughed to himself. "Of course you did like what I shoved in your mouth next." He said that low enough for only her to hear.

"Oh my god! Speaking of sucking on stuff, listen…to…this, yeah." That's all we needed was of Deidara's stupid dinner stories. "This one time when I was 16 I got my tongue stuck to a Popsicle, yeah. And the weird part was that it was the tongue in my right hand and I so couldn't write anything for like…..20 minutes, yeah…... I didn't know that Popsicle would be cold." The blank stares at Deidara said everything.

Three hours, and 15 drinks later it was time to return to the hotel. Of course, Sasori had to get one last bet in because they would be returning home the next day.

"Zetsu my man, let's make a bet."

"Okay." Zetsu said.

"I bet you 37 dollars that Itachi gets to the hotel room and underneath Dana before Deidara gets back there with Camille."

"Man, I can't bet on that, you know that Itachi will throw Deidara's blonde ass out of that room if he gets remotely close to the door."

"I'll bet you. I bet you 40 dollars that Deidara gets there first. Itachi will screw Dana in the elevator."

"You are so on." Sasori said.

Well, it had been an eventful wedding weekend and just as Sasori had predicted Itachi had gotten into the hotel room before Deidara….he knew this because Deidara ended up in Sasori room. However, the next morning it would be time to sleep the hangovers away on the flight back home….

Well, I hope you enjoyed the wedding. My next story is Akatsuki Holiday. Look forward to it!