Chapter 10

Mary Bennet pov

It was a typical English morning when she woke up. Last few days had been total chaos in Bennet household. Apparently a young man of fortune was coming to live in the neighboring estate, Nether Field Park. And surprise! He was single.

His unmarried state had got her mother aflutter, as she started to pair him off with her most deserving daughters, which of course doesn't include Mary. Mary was the plain one. So back to the original point, her mother wanted father to visit this new addition to their society. And father wouldn't agree to that. This was not a very unusual thing. Her father never agreed to anything mother said or did.

All her sisters were excited about this newcomer. Jane and Lizzy were speculating in sensible manner and Lydia and kitty in silly manner. Nothing unusual in that either.

She doesn't count; or any of her opinion for that matter. Not that she voiced her opinions. There was no point.

So this morning when her father said that Mr. Bingley might like the hat Lizzy was trimming, Mary was a bit surprised. But then he proceeded on teasing mother about it all, since he had apparently visited the new tenant of Netherfield Park. She often thought that even if her mother tried to be a bit restrained (not that it would happen) her father would instantly go about provoking her, and in the end her it will always be same. Silly mother and clever father.

That news started another round of activities in the house. Mother was praising father in her usual loud manner, Jane and Lizzy preparing for the ball sensibly and kitty and Lydia doing same thing ridiculously, Typical. As for herself, she did what she would do any other day. After all she was one colorless spot in her otherwise colorful rainbow like family.

Father said many things in his grand announcement of visiting Mr. Bingley and what he said to Mary was, "what says you Mary? For you are a young lady of deep reflection, I know, and read great books and make extracts." And then without waiting for any answer he continued with "while Mary is adjusting her ideas let us return to Mr. Bingley."

She hadn't even realized what her father had addressed her for. Of course it ended with mockery. That was no real question; it was only her father's idea of acknowledging her. There were only two types of people in this house- clever and silly. Nothing in between existed. Thus Mary was declared silly. It was nothing new, that fact had been established long since. For as far as she could remember she had always been told, your name is Mary Bennet, you are plain, you are silly. That is who she is, so she accepted that and moved on.

The following days were no less exciting as everyone pestered father in their own way, so that he may reveal more about Mr. Bingley. When father didn't reveal anything then they satisfied themselves by knowledge from Lucas Family. Mrs. Lucas and mother exchanged news, Jane and Lizzy spoke with Miss Charlotte Lucas and Kitty and Lydia gossiped with Miss Maria Lucas, about Mr. Bingley; same topic for all conversations.

Few days later Mr. Bingley returned the visit and stayed for 10 minutes. All the ladies saw him from upstairs window; he wore a fine blue coat and rode a black stallion, was the conclusion of four pair of eyes. Though Mary wanted to say he even had ginger hair poking from beneath his black hat, but she thought it sounded ridiculous, so she kept her mouth shut and head low.

When her mother's nerves again paid a visit, she found out that Mr. Bingley had declined a dinner invitation because he went to London. She hadn't even known that there ever was even a dinner invitation. Her mother's nerves were settled only after Lady Lucas assured that Mr. Bingley had only gone to bring a party of more Gentlemen and ladies. This news started another round of speculation as to how many ladies and Gentlemen might come.

The day of Meryton assembly was coming closer; everyone's excitement grew in same proportion with Mary's trepidation.

It was the day of ball. Everyone was getting ready, dresses and ribbons flying everywhere, constant calls of different requirements could be heard, often one voice crossing another. Mary was already finished with her toilette, so she thought she might help her sisters or mother. She tried and… failed, just like in everything else; in helping her pretty sisters with their preparation she was found wanting, not up to the standards of fashion. In the end she decided she should just wait in her room, which would be the best for everyone.

Her mother didn't want to be late to greet the Nether field party, so as a result they arrived at the ball rather early though you could only say that by looking at the time, not the hall. No, they were not the only family who arrived early. Everyone was excited and their anticipation was almost visible, to her at least.

The nether field party was the last to arrive, it only consisted of five people; Mr. Bingley his two sisters, the husband of one sister and a friend. She only briefly looked at them while being introduced; they looked nothing different to her so she tuned them out. No doubt they would only talk about frivolous things and she had no interest in that. Though it could be said she had no interest in the ball either yet here she was. The truth was since her coming out no ballroom had ever treated her like other ladies who were out, so she had decided she won't treat any ball like a ball either.

She too had a little anticipation about this ball, however reluctant that maybe; she thought maybe this time someone would ask her to dance but that tiny hope died soon enough. So she contented herself when heard someone mentioning her as the most accomplished lady to the Bingley sisters. Yes, that little piece satisfied her, she had earned that praise.

And that was all she got from Meryton assembly. So she returned from the ball and went to sleep that night just as she did after every ball she had ever attended.

Next morning her mother started to recount to her father all about the assembly, of how Mr. Bingley danced twice with Jane and how Lydia and kitty were never once without a partner. That too was not new; Jane was so beautiful that everyone who saw her admired her. But the most shocking thing was that Mr. Bingley's friend had refused to dance with Lizzy claiming her to be "not handsome enough", which Mary had known nothing about even though she was present in the said ball. How had she missed that?

This was something about which everyone was shocked. Her feelings on the matter were a bit conflicted. All her life everyone always dismissed her as plain in favor of her sisters. Was it too wrong of her to feel a little bit smug, that for once it was someone else in the family who had been dismissed on account of beauty?

Lizzy was her elder sister, she ought feel bad that someone slighted her sister publicly, and she did felt that; but there was that other part of her who remembered all the times she had been slighted first in favor of her elder sisters and then for younger ones.

Today her mother proclaimed that gentleman disagreeable, and conceited and "too superior who thinks very highly of himself". Maybe that is true, maybe he is like that. But didn't her family treat her in the same manner all the time? Dismissing her for her lack of beauty and fashion, and then going about their business with no thought as to how she felt?

She again felt that pang of guilt on such uncharitable thoughts. Then she focused on the root of matter- Lizzy; who was telling for all to hear that she didn't felt insulted at all and to prove her point she even laughed at the whole incident. So she thought if Lizzy doesn't feel anything then maybe it may best be forgotten.

Days following the assembly were spent comparing everyone's opinion and observations. After every ball Miss Lucases and Miss Bennets met to talk over the ball. The very next morning after assembly Miss Lucases visited the Bennet Family. Entire conversation was revolving around the Netherfield party again. Mary noticed Lizzy continued to mock Mr. Darcy and his comments, whenever she got the chance. And only thought that came to Mary's mind was lady doth protests too much.

Her mother was loudly proclaiming that Lizzy should never dance with Mr. Darcy, as it would be a misfortune to be liked by that disagreeable man. So the entire gossip shifted and now everyone one was proclaiming their dislike for him and only Jane and charlotte were saying something in defense of him.

Now Jane was such a good natured person that she saw the entire world through rose colored eyes. She always had something good to say about everything. On the other hand charlotte was the practical one; she was one of those persons who saw only the logical/ practical side of things. Mary did not know what to make of that; charlotte and Jane were saying the same thing or at least they meant same thing about one man who was proclaimed all bad by everyone else.

Everyone said that Jane was too naïve and charlotte too mature about the world in general. And even Mary agreed with that sentiment. Yet, they both firmly agreed on one point which everyone else was against now.

Charlotte pointed out to Lizzy that His pride was not as offending as it usually is that He has a right to be Proud. Though in one breath Lizzy agreed to Charlotte's sentiment, in the next breath she said, "I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine."

Mary knew Lizzy was hurt and was only trying to downplay it, Mary could recognize that much because almost always it had been her in that place. When it had been Mary, Valiantly trying to pretend that other's opinion didn't matter. But long ago Mary had stopped trying to pretend that it didn't hurt because it never helped to lie to your own mind. She had accepted it early enough and with acceptance found peace.

So she thought she should say something. "Pride is very common failing, I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed; that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary. Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us" Mary said this with the hope of both justifying Mr. Darcy's behavior and warning Elizabeth that she was hurt on account of her own vanity and not because of Mr. Darcy's pride.

Mary thought she had done rather well. She had said her piece without mentioning any one particular. She didn't need great observation skills to see that beneath all the laughter and jests, Lizzy was hurt. For Lizzy it was first ever dismissal but for Mary, it was everyday occurrence. Thus it was easy for Mary to relate with this. And Mary didn't want her sister to suffer because of vanity, like she herself had. That suffering had made her bitter about her appearance.

Now she could only hope that Lizzy would heed her hidden advice. Thus her piece said, she felt satisfied, because in her mind she had done her sisterly duty.

Darcy pov

Netherfield Park was a reasonably good property. As Darcy took his morning ride on the outskirts of property he saw much that was pleasing to eyes. Bingley had chosen rather well, impulsive though the decision maybe.

With Bingley one would never know, what he is going to do next. He has such an easy temper that he is always satisfied with most of the things. According to his reasoning, right and wrong both exists and since they exist then it all must be right; never mind that wrong is called as such for a reason.

And of course in line with his usual cheerfulness and good humor, Bingley had already met most of the Neighborhood, dined with few families and such. Which was all good, since Bingley was going to live here it was only right that he should know his neighboring families. Bingley was sure to be liked wherever he appeared because of his easy, open and inviting manners.

When he had first arrived here, he had been in a very dark mood. His uneasiness was increasing ever since the moment he stepped into the carriage bound for Hertfordshire. It only subsided after he received a letter from his sister, which reassured him that she was well. Though the letter arrived two days after his arrival, which is the morning after the assembly.

Ugh! He thought with disgust 'the damnable assembly.' Bingley's idea of welcoming him was apparently, dragging him to an assembly which he never wanted to attend in the first place. Although to his mind that assembly had felt less like a welcome for accepting Bingley's invitation and more like a punishment for refusing him the first time. He had his suspicions about that.

In the Meryton assembly Darcy had seen a collection of people in whom there was little beauty and no fashion, for none of whom he had felt the smallest interest and from none received either attention or pleasure. Miss Bennet he acknowledged to be pretty, but she smiled too much. Bingley, on the contrary, had never met with more pleasant people or prettier girls in his life; everybody had been most kind and attentive to him; there had been no formality, no stiffness; he had soon felt acquainted with all the room; and , as to Miss Bennet, he could not conceive an angel more beautiful.

Truth is Darcy really did not remember much of the assembly, with body he was present there but his mind had not been in the event. No matter where he went, no matter how much distance he put between himself and Ramsgate the thoughts and memories stayed with him; it didn't matter that his sister was not with him now; her sorrow, her tears they still haunted him.

When everyone in family had suggested that going with Bingley was the right thing, he had thought them right; he had hoped and never before had he ever wanted anything to be true so badly. For once in his life he wanted to rid his mind of every memory of an incident. Everything he saw reminded him of one thing or other related to Ramsgate incident.

So engrossed was Darcy in his thoughts that he did not even realize how much time had passed. He had started his ride with a clear head and all these ponderings had only made his head crowded and heavy, so he took a long path back to the main building; so that he might clear his head, it would not do to stay in constant bad temper.

By the time he arrived, he was told that the ladies were out to pay calls on some families. He had no idea, who was the unfortunate…..um…fortunate, yes, fortunate family visited by Bingley sisters. Surprisingly enough, even Bingley was out, apparently Bingley waited for Darcy, but then after waiting for some time he left.

Well Damn! He really hadn't meant to be out for so long but his mind nowadays was out of hands. The absence of Bingley sisters was a welcome relief, but he sincerely felt sorry for making Bingley wait for him. In the end he decided, He might as well get some (mental) rest taking full advantage of the empty house.

He was sitting in the library, when sudden activity in the hall alerted him that the ladies had returned from their social visits. He thought he would wait until Bingley returns before joining the ladies. About half an hour later Bingley entered the library, looking for all world like cat that got the cream.

"I knew I would find you here" Bingley said, sitting down on a chair." Can you guess whom my sisters visited today?"

Oh great! The first thing Bingley says to him is about his sisters and their social activity. Bingley really had weird ideas about improving Darcy's mood. Right Now Bingley was looking expectantly at Darcy, so he raised a single eyebrow in reply to his question.

Bingley said in amused exasperation,"The Bennets. My Sisters visited Longbourn today."He paused for a moment only to stare off in space as he spoke again. "How I wish I could have gone along with them. To once again be able to look at that beautiful form would have been just the thing for me."

Darcy knew who Bingley was talking about. Bingley always managed to find an angel everywhere he went. Here, it was the eldest Bennet Daughter. She was pretty even Darcy would admit that, a classic English beauty. The few times he had seen Bingley and her in the same event, Bingley had totally seemed in awe of her.

Darcy smiled slightly and spoke, "Longbourn is that good? Please tell me what is so beautiful about it?"

"Oh Darcy!" Bingley instantly began without even thinking it all through "I hardly know how to put her beauty in words. You ask about its good…." Bingley paused mid sentence and then glared at Darcy. "It is not Longbourn that I wished to see." He said trying to and failing in, sounding offended.

He smirked openly at Bingley now. "No? "He sighed dramatically "then whose Form are you admiring now? Oh wait, you did mention a young lady at diner, and then during our rides and then again while we were working; well I was working and you were word-worshiping an angel and then again…"

"Stop it!" Bingley exclaimed laughingly. "That young lady would be Miss Bennet who is an angel."

Darcy shook his head. "Is that why you were looking for me?"

"No no. My sister would never forgive me for letting you be all alone here. So I came here to keep you company."

"I doubt your sister even knows the word forgive". He replied dryly.

Dinner that night was a very interesting affair for almost everyone. The ladies were prominent speakers, as always, but their topic was the Bennet household. Which was quite interesting for Mr. Bingley because of a certain angel residing there and it seemed both his sisters liked her, and Bingley took that approval as a signal to increase his already overflowing admiration. To Mr. Hurst, Mrs. Bennet was the lady who kept the best table in this place, and anyone capable of that was worthy in his eyes.

For Darcy however the conversation held a different kind of interest. He often heard the name of second Bennet daughter mentioned, and it seemed that the two sisters didn't like her very much. This young lady was, according to Bingley very pretty and agreeable; according to Mrs. Hurst she was sometimes very witty but often difficult to make any sense of; however Caroline held entirely different opinion about this particular Bennet daughter. By Caroline's account this lady was very sly and uncouth, no fashion, no style, no beauty and too high and mighty.

Caroline's account of this Bennet girl was what piqued Darcy's interest. Anyone of whom Caroline disapproved like this was bound to be a very interesting person. Besides everyone said that Bennet ladies were all of them beautiful, and Bingley and Mrs. Hurst both said her to be witty and intelligent. He tried to remember what she looked like but he hadn't been paying attention during introductions. He decided he would see for himself who this person was who got Miss Bingley this worked up without even saying anything.

Darcy soon got his wish as they were often invited to dine with neighboring families, and the Bennets attended as well. Darcy had ample opportunity to observe one Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She was soon becoming an object of great interest in Darcy's eyes. At first he had scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticize. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing; and in spite of asserting that her manners were not of fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness. He began to wish to know more of her, and as a step towards conversing with her himself, attended to her conversation with others.

His doing so soon drew her notice. It was at Sir William Lucas's where a large party were assembled. He was approaching Miss Elizabeth and Miss Lucas when the former turned to him and said: 'Did you not think, Mr. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teasing Colonel Forester to give us a ball at meryton?'

'With great energy; but it is a subject which makes a lady energetic.'

'You are severe on us'

After this Miss Lucas Intervened, encouraging her friend to play the Piano, to which Miss Elizabeth agreed. Though before leaving she gave Darcy a grave glance, which was almost taunting. The more he observed her the more she intrigued him. Her performance was pleasing though by no means capital. Her younger sister Mary played after her, she was more skilled yet her performance was not half as pleasurable as Miss Elizabeth's performance.

Though at the end some scotch and Irish airs were played and anyone who could find a partner was dancing. Darcy watched all this with silent indignation, this mode of passing the evening forgoing all sensible conversation was utterly absurd to him. Soon his host for the evening joined him asking typical questions all of which Darcy answered distractedly, not paying enough attention to the talk. Though soon his attention was captured when Sir William suggested him to Dance with Miss Elizabeth.

He was shocked, pleasantly so to find that lady standing in front of him. Without hesitation he offered his hand for dancing but that intriguing lady refused. Even though Darcy himself asked her, with grave Propriety she yet refused with an arch reply. Though her answers seemed perfectly demure, her expressions represented a challenge. She was a mystery to him; the more he tried to know her, the more mysterious she became. Her smile showed acceptance but her eyes were defiant.

She looked archly at him, and turned away. Her resistance had not injured her with him, he was thinking of her with some complacency, when thus accosted by Miss Bingley: 'I can guess the subject of you reverie.'

'I should imagine not.'

'You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner- in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity, and yet noise- the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all those people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!'

' Your conjecture is totally wrong I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.'

Miss Bingley immediately fixed her eyes on his face, and desired he would tell her what lady had the credit of inspiring such reflections.

Mr. Darcy replied with great intrepidity: " Miss Elizabeth Bennet."