Author's Note: Hi to all my readers! Thanks again to everyone who took a moment to read this; I'm glad you're all enjoying it so far and hope you all continue to do so. Thanks also to my followers and those who've favourited this story. I'm glad you're all enjoying it so far.
A very big thank you especially to my reviewers. I really do appreciate the time you guys take to let me know what you think.
PikaWings: Oh, I agree. I'm not saying Blaine did the right thing. He's definitely not handling this like he should. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. :)
Julia3132: Thanks, I'm glad you think so. I didn't want them to do a complete one eighty in behaviour. I wanted to get them to change gradually. I hope I don't disappoint.
RHatch89: Yeah... there was always something there between the two of them; an attraction, even if Blaine never acted on it. It was kinda obvious in Blaine's reaction to Sebastian's invite for coffee after that brief chat in the commons after they first met. Kurt had a real complex about him though... even in season six when Blaine admits he's seeing someone, Kurt's mind jumps straight to Sebastian. :P
GilGalen: Thanks very much :D I'm sorry the drama made you a bit sad, but I'm glad you're still enjoying it despite that.
AJ27: Happy to hear you're enjoying story so much. :) And no, it's not wrong that you enjoyed it. I mean... we all know that Blaine is not a perfect human being. He's flawed and makes mistakes like anyone else, and sometimes he just gets overwhelmed and does something he'll regret. It happens and it's honest. As for Sam... I figure the guy spends most of his time with the New Directions, and they'd definitely be on the Kurt side of this one. Sebastian is a pretty sore spot for most of them.
Anyways, thanks again to everyone taking the time to read this. I hope you all enjoy the latest chapter.
Sebastian had just finished taking off his shoes, tossing them carelessly into one corner of his room when he heard the knock at the door.
Surprised, glancing briefly at his watch and wondering who it could be at this time of the day, he padded barefoot to the door, opening it to see a harassed looking Blaine, those big hazel eyes lifting to meet his own before glancing almost anxiously down the hall.
Following his gaze, Sebastian saw nothing at all out of the ordinary, his eyes flicking back to Blaine's face; studying it carefully for any sign of what was bothering his friend.
"Can I come in?"
The words were rushed, nervous almost, and Sebastian found himself frowning even as he nodded.
"Of course."
Opening the door wider to allow his friend into the room, Sebastian was surprised again when Blaine rushed past him, the boy's stride carrying him halfway across the room. By the time he'd closed the door and turned back his friend had become what he might have described as a nervous wreck, standing in the middle of the floor, his hands twisting nervously together.
"Jesus, Blaine. Are you okay?"
"I..." and then Blaine was nodding, swallowing heavily at the same time and Sebastian shook his head in dismay.
"Blaine, don't lie to me. You are not okay."
Blaine looked over, startled at the profession, his hazel eyes wide. "I just..." but then he was just shaking his head and when Sebastian approached, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to guide him to the chair, his friend flinched violently.
Stepping back, hands up in the well-known gesture of surrender, Sebastian just watched Blaine with growing concern. "Blaine, what's wrong?"
"I couldn't... I can't..." and then the boy was shaking his head again, and again Sebastian stepped forward, this time taking his friend by the shoulders – ignoring his flinch – and shaking him gently.
"Focus, Anderson. Breathe," and when Blaine's lids lowered to hide those big hazel eyes as the boy took a deep breath, Sebastian found himself nodding with a smile. "Good. Now... Tell me." And when Blaine's eyes opened again, he offered a supportive smile. "What's wrong?"
He felt the tug on his tie before he fully comprehended the situation, and next second he was being very thoroughly kissed by Blaine Anderson.
Inhaling sharply in surprise, for a moment he was too stunned to respond; frozen whilst that mouth he'd dreamed of since that first kiss moved so fiercely against his own. Then he came back to himself, shaking his head, pulling back and breaking the kiss. "Blaine, no. What's–" but Blaine tugged again on his tie, moving up on his toes to secure his mouth more firmly over Sebastian's own and... well... he'd never claimed he was a saint.
He kissed him back, lips twisting against Blaine's as he angled his head and deepened the kiss, winning a faint, breathy moan from his friend. Fingers digging into the arms of his blazer, Blaine moved further up on his toes to meet the kiss, his breath gusting warm against his cheek, obviously encouraged by Sebastian's response.
Seconds later those hands were sliding up his arms, one arm curling around the back of his neck – an anchor – whilst the other hand slid further, tugging at the hair at the back of head and causing his stomach to flip excitedly.
"Blaine..." He spoke the name on a breath, not resistance this time but surrender, Blaine stealing the opportunity to slide his tongue – hot and heavy – into his mouth; tasting, exploring...
Groaning at the sudden assault, Sebastian returned the kiss with renewed vigour. Hands on Blaine's hips guided the other boy closer, his body pressed up against his own and Blaine murmured his approval, hand tightening in his hair.
"I want you." Blaine's voice was a desperate murmur and there was only the briefest of hesitations before his friend added, "All of you," and even as he felt that familiar hot flash-burn of anticipation wash through his body, he was shaking his head, hands lifting to Blaine's shoulders, pushing his friend gently away.
"Blaine, no," and when Blaine's mouth moved to catch his again, he turned his head away, Blaine's lips landing on his cheek before he managed to grip his friend's arms, pushing him away again. "Blaine." Once again he shook the boy gently; Blaine appearing to snap out of whatever it was that had taken hold of him, and the other boy shuddered as thoughts of whatever had brought him to this moment rushed back into his mind.
"Now..." and when those big hazel eyes – misplaced passion dwindling, tormented once more – looked up into his, Sebastian felt his stomach flip flop again when he realised that only moments ago he'd been kissing that mouth; that perfect mouth that was now twisted into a frown. "Tell me. What's wrong? What's happened?"
Blaine was trembling he realised then, and the hands he'd rested on his friend's arms began rubbing gently up and down in an attempt to soothe the other boy.
Didn't seem to be working.
"It's Kurt."
Well of course this was about Kurt. He shouldn't be surprised – wasn't really – but found himself dismayed despite that. Once, just once could any kiss the two of them shared not have something to do with Kurt?
Honestly? Probably not.
"What happened? What'd he do?"
Blaine shook his head, his expression shifting to embarrassed now and when it seemed his friend wasn't inclined to reply, Sebastian shook him gently once again, drawing those big hazel eyes back to his own. "Blaine?"
"He..." and Blaine took a deep breath, his expression heavy, as if his words might bring about the apocalypse. "He's seeing someone."
Shit. Ms Hummel found himself another boy toy to twist and mould into his own personal lap dog? Good for him. That he felt this other boy might be able to replace Blaine was ludicrous. No one could possibly compare to Blaine Anderson. He had no doubt stubborn Ms Hummel knew that too, even if he wasn't consciously aware of the fact at present; sooner or later he would want his ex back.
His job... get Blaine to the point where he didn't need that selfish drama queen anymore before that happened.
"I'm sorry," and when Blaine waited patiently, as if expecting him to offer something more, Sebastian shrugged. "I don't know what to say, Blaine. You know I'm shit at this sort of thing, but I guess maybe..." and his voice trailed off into a shrug.
When it didn't look like he was going to continue, Blaine prompted, "Maybe?"
"Maybe this is a good thing." When he saw Blaine recoil a little at the words he knew the other boy didn't want to hear, he sighed. "I'm sorry, but it's the truth. You said Kurt ended it. It's over and the sooner you realise that the sooner you can move on with your own life." He offered his friend a sad smile. "Kurt's moving on and has found someone new. Now you can too."
But Blaine was already shaking his head. "Sebastian, it's not that easy. Kurt was..." and his friend paused a moment as he searched for the word he was looking for. "Kurt was everything. Kurt was everything that I'd ever wanted, and now that he's gone I just..." he sighed, shaking his head. "I'm never going to find that again."
Sebastian wanted to laugh at the sweet naïveté in that sentence, wondering at the same time how Blaine could utter it and still take himself seriously. "Of course you'll find it again, Killer. Kurt was your first boyfriend, your first kiss... hell your first time, and yeah, the guy meant a lot to you. And I know you don't think so now; you can't even fathom how it could even be possible, but eventually... that does end." He smiled faintly as he reminisced about his own experience with 'never getting over' a guy. Honestly... it had been a whole lot easier than he'd thought, but then again he and Blaine had never exactly seen the world the same way. He definitely couldn't see his friend embarking on a spree of romantic entanglements to get a boy out of his head.
"How can you be sure?"
He fixed his friend with a look of disbelief, brows lifting to his forehead. "How can I be sure?" he asked in amusement. "I've lived it."
But Blaine was shaking his head. "No, I mean for me. You found a way to move on, but..." and again he shook his head, his voice trailing off into nothing.
"But?"
"But I'm not as strong as you are."
The words were blurted out in a rush and his friend wouldn't look at him, almost as though he were ashamed of the admission.
"Bull shit."
Stunned at the harsh reaction, Blaine's eyes snapped back to his and for a moment the boy just stared at him in surprise. "I'm sorry?"
"You heard me."
"I... I don't know..."
"Blaine, you're stronger than you realise," and when Blaine scoffed at the trite assurance, Sebastian started shaking his head. "No, you are. You might not think so but I've seen you do a whole lot that takes real strength. Like standing up to Hunter the way you did, even when the rest of your friends didn't stand with you. Or how about your cancelling a potentially reconciliatory holiday with your ex because a friend needed you more. Neither was something anyone could call easy, Blaine. I couldn't have – wouldn't have done either, but you did. Without a second thought."
There was a long pause then as Blaine considered his words before a faint smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "Well I'm not gonna lie... there were a couple of second thoughts about New York. Flights at Christmas are pretty pricey, you know," Blaine offered, the teasing joke tugging a half-smile onto Sebastian's mouth.
"Oh I know." Nodding seriously, Sebastian released his friend, taking a step back and immediately regretting the separation. His fingers itched to reach out and touch the other boy; he'd enjoyed the proximity, even though it had been only for a moment. It was hard to forget after all... Blaine's mouth so desperate on his own; those quiet words, muttered in that breathy voice.
I want you. All of you.
Lord save him he was going to regret being this 'better man' later, he was sure of it.
"You gonna be okay?"
Blaine took a deep breath, considering the question honestly for a long moment before nodding his head. "Yeah, I think I..." and he nodded again. "I'll be fine."
Sebastian just nodded with a smile, watching as the other chewed absentmindedly at his lower lip and feeling what was quickly becoming a more than familiar ache in his stomach at the sight.
God damn it, years back – back before he'd ever met this boy – he wouldn't have thought twice about Blaine's earlier proposition. If it could really be called that. Seduction, sure a little clumsily done, but essentially that was what Blaine had been attempting and he certainly wouldn't have been pushing the boy away and trying to get him to talk.
Old Sebastian Smythe would have taken everything he could and right now the two of them would be...
But he pushed the thought from his head, annoyed with himself. Because truth of the matter was that old Sebastian would never have been put in this position; would never have been given this opportunity to begin with. Old Sebastian Smythe wouldn't have had Blaine as a friend; certainly Blaine wouldn't have trusted that version of himself with the kind of information he shared so freely now. Old Sebastian definitely wouldn't...
He was distracted from his thoughts by the sight of one of those hands reaching out to pick up his tie again, and startled, he realised that Blaine had stepped in once more whilst he'd been distracted. Caught completely off-guard he froze, watching silently as Blaine idly fingered the material of his tie.
"You've changed, you know."
It was as if Blaine could see directly into his thoughts and surprised – a little distracted by the fingers on his tie – he looked up and directly into those hazel eyes, once again so near his own. "Sorry?"
"You've changed, Sebastian," Blaine repeated, those big hazel eyes studying him quietly, wandering carefully over his face, as if searching for something. "A whole lot more than you realise."
"I don't think..."
He didn't think what? With zero idea where he'd been going with that, his voice trailed off into nothing and he simply shook his head. Holy shit, his mind had been completely wiped; utterly blank as he fought for anything at all to say to Blaine's quiet observation. Honestly... Blaine really needed to let go of his tie.
"You don't think what?"
Attempting to tug his tie from Blaine's surprisingly strong grip, Sebastian shook his head. "This isn't a good idea, Blaine." But his voice trailed off when Blaine started shaking his head, and he found himself wondering exactly where it was his friend had found all this confidence. And just where the hell his had all gone.
"What's not a good idea?" Blaine asked, even as he pulled a little on his tie, tugging Sebastian closer still and Sebastian found himself swallowing heavily, shaking his head. He might have told him exactly what wasn't a good idea had he had any control over his vocal chords. As it was, Blaine had leaned in further, pressing slow, feather-light kisses along his jaw and his head was feeling remarkably fuzzy; certainly far too fuzzy to reply in any coherent manner.
"I... This is..." and his breath expelled as Blaine's kisses deepened, and he swallowed heavily, shaking his head and knowing this was quickly getting out of hand.
Summoning all the self-control he had left, he gripped Blaine's arms, pushing him away and shaking his head fiercely. "Blaine, no," and Lord did he want to curse when he saw the calm and curious manner in which Blaine watched him now, the subtle pressure he was putting on the restraints Sebastian's hands had become driving him crazy. All he'd have to do is let go... let this happen. "We can't."
And the boy still didn't let go of his tie; the article an anchor holding the two together.
"Why not?"
Why not indeed, his head argued. Why was he fighting this? Why was he fighting something he had wanted for such a long time?
Simple.
Because Blaine saw in him someone he knew he couldn't be for his friend. Best lay it all out on the table now, before things went too far and he ended up as another regret on Blaine's ever-growing list. "Blaine, I can't be that guy."
Clearly surprised by the words, Blaine hesitated, leaning back a little now as if to get a better look at him, those big dark eyes wandering over his face as if trying to understand exactly what it was that he'd meant. "What?"
"Your 'someone new'. I'm not that guy, Blaine; you know I don't..."
But Blaine was already shaking his head, leaning in, making Sebastian's head fuzzy again as those lips found their way back to his jaw; his restraining hands became mutineers. "I don't want anything serious. I don't need it," and it was automatic when Sebastian lifted his chin as that mouth, those lips explored the underside of his jaw, his breath exhaling sharply as they wandered further back, finding the hollow behind his ear. He could smell him, feel the soft warmth of his skin so close to his own, the heat of his breath on his skin. "I just need you; all of you. Right now." And Sebastian didn't fight him as the boy twisted open the button of his blazer, pushing it off his shoulders where it crumpled to the ground in a forgotten heap.
He was being used, that had been made perfectly clear; but fact of the matter was that he didn't really care anymore. Whichever way you looked at it he was getting exactly what he'd wanted. The one thing he'd really wanted for... well it felt like forever. Since that first day he'd seen Blaine Anderson leaning against the doorjamb of the senior commons at school, with those big dark eyes; that soft smile as he'd watched the Warblers perform.
He'd been toast the moment he'd laid eyes on him.
And now... Now Blaine was offering him something that he'd wanted forever, something he'd felt would never be his because of the differences between them; the main one, of course, being the fact that he simply didn't do relationships or feelings and Blaine... well Blaine did.
But Blaine wasn't asking for relationships or feelings. Had made it very clear that he didn't want either, he just wanted...
He felt a swell of anticipation rise in his chest and he was nodding before he realised he'd officially made the decision, giving up any and all resistance as Blaine began pushing him backwards towards the bed.