He got into work earlier than needed but he had to do something and making a start on the new specials for the following week was a good use of his time. He did his set, Tony would do his and they'd agree on what made it onto the board.

He loved creating new dishes or twisting old ones. Not too much though he didn't want to alienate the regulars but he liked the idea of broadening people's palates of daring them to try something different. Just as Tony had for him.

"Ste." He looked up. It was in-between breakfast and lunch and the only customers were the 'ladies what brunch' as Barney had dubbed them. Pity he could have done with a rush.

"Hi." He looked down and tried to concentrate on mixing the sauce to try and get the balance just right.

"Look I just wanted to apologise for the other night."

"No need." Ste replied shortly. There was no need whatsoever for Jamie to explain anything to him. He had been crystal clear. He fancied him but he didn't like what was under his skin.

"There is. Will you please just look at me?" He couldn't help that he put the spoon down a little harder than necessary. He didn't want to be reminded that Jamie had rejected him and all that had come after that. He just didn't need it. He was enjoying his work. He just wanted to do what he was good at.

"Look I just need to you to know it wasn't about you."

"Oh it's not you it's me. Classic."

"Alright." Jamie sighed harshly. "My head was a mess. I didn't want to…"

"It's fine." He cut him off. He didn't need a long list of reasons why Jamie no longer wanted to be friends or anything with him but was too much of a decent bloke to just cut him to the quick.

"No it's not Ste will you please just let me speak."

"Fine." He gestured for him to continue.

"Thank you." He paused.

"Well?" He just wanted Jamie to spit it out so he could get on with the rest of his day.

"Jesus you're impossible."

"Yeah I am." He knew. Plenty of people had told him.

"I didn't want to use you alright. My head was a mess and I was thinking about Luke and I didn't want to take you to bed just because…"

"It was a kiss! You think I'm a slut?" He was but that wasn't the point. "You think that after one kiss I would go back to your and shag you?" He would've but Jamie didn't want him.

The ladies 'what brunch' were silent and their gaze was honed in on them but Ste didn't care.

"No, that's not… Ste… This is coming out all wrong."

"Well why don't you go home, write a letter and send it to me when you work out just what you want to say eh."

"I didn't want to ruin this."

"Ruin what?" There was nothing to ruin.

"You know what I'll come back later when you're being more reasonable."

"Reasonable." He barked a false laugh. "Face it Jamie you saw me kick off and decided that you didn't want to deal with any of that."

"That's not it at all." Of course that was it. Jamie just couldn't admit it.

"You know what I'm glad you did saved us both a lot of time."

"Do you ever stop? Honestly do you ever stop and listen before you run your mouth? I didn't want to use you. I stopped myself."

"Oh and I'm meant to be grateful?"

"Yes actually. Because I like you and I didn't want to hurt you."

"By rejecting me."

"I didn't." He took a breath. "I didn't mean… I didn't think you'd take it that way. I tried to explain but you ran off."

"So this is my fault?"

"No. I'm not saying that."

"Sounds like it." Jamie turned away and he thought that he might leave but he turned back.

"Ste look I like you. I like you okay and I was all over the place. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I didn't mean to. Please. Just please give me a chance. And don't say anything right now because I don't want an angry reaction. I will come back later." He didn't give him a chance to reply he just walked out.

"Another satisfied customer." He sighed. He wondered how much she had heard. Properly most of it.

"Morning Laura." He really should have called her.

"You promised me a phone call."

"Yeah, sorry. I went to see my kids, I forgot."

"Don't lie Ste. I think we're past that."

"I went to see my kids." It was worth a try.

"That wasn't the lie. You didn't forget."

"Fine I didn't forget but look I'm not dead in a gutter."

"Ste." She sighed and shook her head. She raised her chin at Barney to bring him over. "Can you make me a strong black coffee and Ste a tea please."

"I'm working."

"Did I say you had to stop?"

"I can't work while you're standing there giving me the third degree."

"Alright fine then you will have to stop working then won't you."

"It's this harassment?" He had already given in, he was only arguing for the sake of it and Laura knew that.

"No this is me making sure of my clients welfare. Come on let's grab a table."

He sulked into a seat. Laura sat opposite. She didn't talk. She didn't start giving him a hard time. She just sat and drank her coffee. She was waiting for him to calm down. He sighed heavily.

"You're right I didn't forget." He gave in. "I just don't want to have to do a session in your office again." She frowned at him. "It's like a step back isn't it."

"And the other night wasn't? Come on Ste you told me yourself you went on a bender, I knew from looking at you that you'd been high. That was a step back."

"I know that." He stated firmly.

"Do you know why you did it?"

He shrugged. That would never been enough for her.

"I just did. And don't look at me like that." Pity, disappointment. He didn't need that.

"You know why you did it." She stated firmly.

"If that's what you think then fine."

"You know why you did it. You know why it doesn't solve anything and you know the consequences. I'm not here to give you a lecture, I'm not even here to tell you not to do it again because that's not my place. How you live your life is up to you."

Barney interrupted. There were orders and he had to get back to work.

"This is why we need a session. It doesn't have to be at the office but it has to be somewhere that you can really work this through." She downed the last of her coffee. "Whenever you're ready."

"Can we go to yours?" He didn't want to be in the office and he didn't want to be at home. "I just… Can we please? It's… I need somewhere new."

"If that's what you need then yes." He was surprised, he didn't think she would go for it. "How were the kids?" She asked as she picked up her bag.

"Good." He smiled. His kids were great.

"Good. Give me a ring when you're ready." He nodded as Barney flapped over to him.

Lunch service was manic but he managed to keep his head in the game and it went like clock work even if Barney had managed to mix up four tables.

"Have you got time to talk?" Jamie. Ste frowned. He hadn't expected him to come back. He shrugged.

"I was wondering if we could start again." Ste looked at him expectantly. "I didn't mean for you to think that I was rejecting you. That's the furthest from what I would want. Look like I said I like you and I didn't want to hurt you but as usual when I try not to do something it happens anyway. So… Is it outside the realms of possibility that you would ever agree to go out with me again? If you don't want to see me again I'd understand but I'd just like to know if you'd go for out with me again sometime."

He found himself speechless. He didn't know what he wanted, he wasn't sure about anything. He needed to get himself sorted out before he started anything else that could mess with his head. He frowned at himself. Laura was defiantly rubbing off on him. That was far too sensible but it was what he needed.

"I'm not saying no, but I just need some space. I've got a lot on."

"So don't call me I'll call you is basically what you're saying."

"Yeah but I will call you just not right now. I'll let you know though since I see you just about every day anyway."

"Good enough for me." Jamie smiled and he found himself smiling back.