I was raised as Sohma Ai
A/N: Go back and read the end of Death Wish again, AKA chapter thirteen again before you read this. It will make a lot more sense if you've forgotten.
VERY much thanks to ShadowWinged Wolf, without whose exquisitely helpful review, this chapter would have sucked big time. (As in – new characters. That is how bad it would have been.)
I, to be blunt, am really ashamed of Death Wish, chapter three, and chapter seven. I was reading Death Wish over, and I kept noticing huge errors and really bad writing and it was completely and totally rushed. I kept thinking, "No way. People actually READ this?" Then I was looking through my chapters and stopped at three. ACK. WAY too short, way too rushed. Let's just say that I was NOT visited by the description fairy, the draw-things-out-you-idiot fairy, OR the suicide fairy.
Chapter seven was just pa-the-tic. I was glad for the length, since having long chapters is my passion, but I noticed that there were just a lot of pointless fillers to make it longer. And now I've come to really hate making up a totally useless character out of boredom. I'll be cutting Onokori Zero out. Thanks again to ShadowWinged Wolf, I wouldn't have caught how much of a pointless rip-off he was. I seriously appreciate it. I will try to make this better, even if it means starting all over. (UGH.)
As a random fact, while I was writing Death Wish I highly considered revealing that Ichigo is secretly a girl, like Akito. In the end, I sped through the ending, killed off Etsu, and had no room left over for it because I was already done. I'm glad I didn't, though. Love's Last Words would kill me…He's a guy. BELIEVE NOTHING ELSE!
Venom is beating me with a pinecone stuffed into pantyhose so I'll write. So tragic.
By the way, after the parody part, it all takes place way in the past; back when Kyoumi was a wee little lad…
I was raised as Sohma Ai. I grew up with only my 'father' after my mother died. He never was one for speaking. He just kind of moped around and slept a lot. There was one thing I had noticed—he never got any older. As I aged, I began to notice more and more that the only way in which his appearance changed was that he bore dark circles under his hollow-looking eyes. It was never a very happy home with the constant atmosphere of depression. It always just seemed like if I said anything to him without thinking, he would fall apart at the seams. So, I tried to never speak to him unless spoken to first—I never would have guessed that it would make anything worse, yet it did. Soon, I became that way with everyone, and because of it I was intimidating and antisocial. Finally, I just stopped speaking altogether, and eventually lost myself.
Sensei stood to call roll, calling off names from her clipboard in no particular order. As she got to the name she always called last, Sohma Ai, her eyes slid over the seat as though it were empty, knowing perfectly well that the flaxen-haired ten-year-old would not answer, seeing as she hadn't spoken for around six months, the year before all resulting in a severe decrescendo towards her silence. Many of the faculty and staff were worried about her, yet they never spoke to her of it for fear of breaking the small, fragile child. It first became apparent when she'd stopped eating at lunch, merely sitting there in the seat with her head down and bento untouched. Then, as others began to demand things of her—small items like food that she'd brought, crayons she was using—she would simply give them away, completely oblivious to her own possessions. If she was bullied, she let it go by as though it were a friendly conversation. She'd stopped caring about herself. Yet sadly, for a few of the boys in the school, she was their absolute favorite rag doll.
-Lunchtime-
"Hold her down!" One of the boys from the high school section hissed, peering around the side of the large tree that the group was sitting under to check for teachers and anyone who could possibly see them. He looked around quickly, and then turned back to the other boys his age, two of which were holding the arms of a thin, golden-haired, pretty-faced elementary student, who stared upward blankly from her lying position on the grassy, earthen ground beneath the large deciduous tree.
The older boys cackled evilly, reaching forward to pull off her clothes.
She was their favorite because she never resisted.
-Two years later-
Akira-san was mad.
Ai sat in a chair, still as she could possibly hold herself as she tried to keep herself from shaking in fear at the commotion that occurred before her. Akira had flown into a fury, throwing everything in reach to the floor, screaming out accusations in such a fury-shaken voice that the words became unintelligible. His furious glare landed on her, and she pursed her lips tightly to prevent from gasping. He stalked toward her, grabbing her by her hair and pulling her from the chair onto the floor.
"Why?" He demanded. "Why didn't you tell me you were possessed? Why didn't you tell anyone?"
She couldn't bring herself to speak, and instead shook her head, which infuriated Akira more.
"You're part of MY zodiac! I can do what I want with you." He announced sadistically. "Now tell me why you didn't say anything."
Her lips quivered as though she were going to speak, and she mouthed the words 'I couldn't' silently, not able to locate her vocal cords in order to speak—she'd practically forgotten how. She felt hot moisture on her cheeks and her eyes were stinging…she realized with a start that she was crying. Why? She asked herself. It was her first time seeing Akira—something had called out to her in a relieved yet at the same time sad way. She was possessed—was it good or bad?
Will Otou-san still want me? When he finds out I turn into an animal whenever someone hugs me…what will he do?
She was snapped out of her reverie of thoughts as Akira struck her sharply across the face, her lack of guard sending her tumbling onto her back pathetically as her eyes widened in surprise, mouth open in a silent scream of pain. Akira stepped forward, picking her up by her hair again and retrieving a piece of broken china from the floor. He slashed at her with it, cutting her skin and making her convulse with pain suppressed by her silence and inability to scream. With a vengeance, Akira shoved the piece of now bloody china into her left arm, throwing her aside and leaving the room swiftly. With trembling fingers, she attempted to pull out the shard, squeezing her eyes shut in pain as she touched it. Tears streamed thickly down her cheeks as she was forced to absorb the pain as slowly the areas that were not stinging with cuts became numb and wouldn't move.
"Is someone in here?" A male child's voice called, hesitant. Footsteps brought them into the room, where they saw the young girl sprawled on the ground, shaking violently and bleeding heavily from the many cuts all over her body. There was a loud gasp, and the voice screamed for help at the top of his lungs, running footsteps bringing him close to her as she felt the footsteps in the floorboards as her senses inclined from the numbness that had taken over her body. A few seconds later a young boy with shaggy chestnut hair appeared in her vision, face worried. "Are you okay?" He demanded. "What happened?" He leaned over her, inspecting the many cuts, as his expression grew more horrified as his eyes scanned over each one.
Slowly, her eyes began to close of their own accord, and the next thing she knew, there was only blackness—the rest of the world had disappeared.
It's quiet here…no one is yelling. It feels safe. Safe and quiet, quiet and safe. I like it here. Let me stay here forever. Forget about me and leave me here where it's nice and quiet and peaceful and dark. Dark? It's dark? It isn't bright, so it must be dark. Bright would be painful, and there's no pain here, so it has to be dark. I like it here. Don't take me away. Please, don't take me away from here. It's heaven, isn't it? Did I die? I wonder if they know yet? Someone, someone, I'm dead. You don't need to worry anymore. Otou-san, I've finally died—you can be happy now. Wake up, stop sleeping so much. It's finally over. I'm finally over. Is there anyone out there? Can you hear me? Did you know that I've died? Okaa-san, can I meet you now? Will you protect me? This way I'll be your little girl forever if you want me to. I'll be perfect. I'll do anything. Someone? Is anyone there? Hello?
Ai's eyes opened slowly, pupils shrinking at the intensified brightness of the room due to the white walls. The smell of medicines reached her nose, and her heard swirled with painkillers as she tried to sit up, quickly laying back down and holding her head. When the spinning stopped, she looked around the room, gaze landing on the boy from before leaning on the wall by the door, his arms crossed over his chest and eyes covered by his bangs. He looked up at her with a furious expression, and she thought she heard his teeth clamp together.
"You're awake." He acknowledged with gritted teeth. She nodded in response. He growled something under his breath and then went over to her with an angry stride, never once redirecting his scathing eyes from her surprised face. "Why did you let him do that to you?" He demanded. "Were you trying to get killed? Do you have a death wish? Are you suicidal?" He sneered.
She felt hurt flash through her eyes, and his expression flickered for a moment because of it. She looked away, knowing that there was no way to explain what had happened, even if she could speak. How could she have resisted? Akira wanted to beat her and hurt her—why should she deny him what he wanted? Who was she to try and deprive people of what they needed and wanted to do? If he could do whatever he wanted to her like he'd said, who was she to try and stand in his way?
"What would your parents think if you wound up dead because you wouldn't protect yourself?" He hissed.
That remark stung. She let her head drop to where her chin was on her collarbone, bangs covering her eyes. She took a slow breath and opened her mouth. "I…" she started in a shaky voice, cracked and small from lack of use. "…Though it would be better…for everyone…if I disappeared."
There was a moment of silence in which the boy positively shook with fury, before he forcefully banged his fist against the wall, making her jump. "BETTER?" He demanded loudly. "HOW WOULD IT BE BETTER?"
"I don't know!" She cried as she sobbed hopelessly, attempting to hide her face in her hands. "I don't know…" she repeated sadly, "…what to do anymore…"
His angry expression faltered and switched to sympathetic, and he kneeled by the hospital bed, taking her hand in his own. "Then forget." He muttered. "Just get out of that house with your parents and run somewhere and don't look back. I'll find you somehow. Be someone else and erase the old you."
She looked up at him incredulously. "I'll get caught." She argued.
He shook his head, refusing to meet her gaze. "I'll make sure you won't." He smirked. "Ami." He tilted his head to the side. "By the way, I'm Sohma Chion."
Ami. Chion. Don't ever forget it.
-X-
"Ai?" The emotionless voice of her 'father' came from the living room, where he usually was at that time of night. Ai stepped into the room to see him staring blankly at the memento of her mother, and she felt a wave of guilt as she stared at the picture. Her mother was unsmiling in it, an annoyed expression on her otherwise beautiful face. Her dark gray, brown-flecked hair was long, bangs hanging in her eyes.
Ai shook her head and headed down the hall to her bedroom, opening the door as though trying to be as silent as possible. She found a black bag at the back of her closet, and quickly threw as many clothes and supplies into it as she could. She hid it in the cabinet where she kept her futon, shutting it firmly. She stepped out of the room and into her father's bedroom, looking around for a place where money might be kept. She found a few hundred yen in the kitchen, however, and swiftly tucked it into her pocket. She went back into her room and took the bag, slinging it over her shoulder. As she exited her room and tiptoed down the hall, she felt her breathing increase to the point of near hyperventilation with nervousness. She flew out the door, slamming it behind her, running until she was at the gates of the 'inside' Sohma territory. She fell to her knees, panting hard. She coughed a few times, and then stood again, forcing herself to keep going and ignoring the stitch in her side. Finally, in a dark alleyway behind a bar, she tripped and doubled over, falling onto her back and clutching her aching side as she listened to her heart beating furiously in her chest.
She felt her eyes slowly start to close with her sudden weakness, and seconds later a young tiger cub lay unconscious in the alley.
I'm not Ai anymore.
-X-
"Ha!" Ami, now seventeen, laughed in acknowledgement of her victory. She slammed an ace card down onto the table streaked with small streams and scattered droplets of water due to the condensation taking place on the outside of the cold bottles of alcohol. "Ace—I win again." She smirked triumphantly.
"How the hell do you keep getting the good cards?" Her opponent demanded.
"Luck." Ami pronounced the word thoroughly. "And I won, so hand it over." She held out her hand in expectation. The opponent sighed in humiliation of being beaten and handed her a few bills. She clicked her tongue and sorted through them quickly, tossing out ones at random. "Fake." She muttered, dropping another onto the table. "Come on—did you think I wouldn't notice?" She cocked her head to the side with an amused smirk playing across her lips.
He sighed again and shrugged. "All I got is what you have."
Her eyes narrowed. "Really?"
"Ami-chan," A waitress who was familiar with her called. "There's someone here for you."
Ami stood slowly, depositing the remaining bills into the pocket of her jacket, throwing her opponent a peace sign. "I'll let you off," she told him, nearly laughing at his relief, "but don't tell your friends you won against me. A girl beat you and you know it. Lie and it'll be painful." She smiled cheerfully (which proved contrasting to her previous statement) and practically skipped away in a melodic, gay manner. (And I assume that you all know I intend this form of gay to mean happy.)
There was a teenage boy, tall for his age with a thin frame, leaning against the wall near the back exit, choppy chestnut hair hanging in front of his eyes. He had his arms crossed over his chest impatiently, nearly blending into the darkened atmosphere of the corner by his black-clad appearance.
Ami sighed, shifting her weight to the left foot and restlessly running a hand through her long hair. "What do you need?" She asked simply, cocking her head to the side.
The teen looked up at her, revealing equally brown eyes. "Hm." He annunciated shortly. "I think the question would more so be—do you remember who I am at all?" He tapped his fingers on his forearm, locking his jaw in annoyance at something.
Ami thought for a moment. He did look familiar, but she couldn't seem to put a name to the face. She stared at him blankly, sorting through names mentally as though using the process of elimination. "Do you come here often?" She tried.
He sighed in a hiss-like manner. "Right, so that's a no." He muttered, more to himself. He glanced over at her confused expression and hissed the word "damn" under his breath in aggravation. "Do you remember when you were a kid, and you got beat up by Akira-san?" He asked slowly, as though searching for the right words.
She frowned. "How do you know about something like…" Her voice trailed off, and she remained silent for a few seconds. Finally, her eyes widened. "You're Chion-kun, right?" She asked excitedly.
He nodded once, glaring.
Ami made a sound of disapproval and jokingly punched him on the arm. "Why didn't you say something first?"
"Didn't think you would remember."
It lurched into happier times from that point. Everything seemed to have broken out of the darkened stupor it was captured under to become illuminated in a sunlit glow, and even night could not make me retreat back into the numb darkness in which I had grown to hide myself in for so long. The world had meaning. Whether that's exactly what it means to be in love when you're possessed, I don't know, yet with us, that's just how it was. For a short time it lasted—happiness lives a momentary life.
"NO!" Akira screeched furiously, throwing anything within reach to the floor and hopefully breaking it. "NO! DID YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU'D BE ALLOWED TO DEFY ME LIKE THAT?"
Ami could feel herself trembling with fear as memories of the last time Akira had been furious at her rang out in her mind and appeared as though truly in her line of sight. Even if she closed her eyes, she could still hear the china breaking, her frenzied breathing and the sharp numbness and white-hot pain.
"Are you scared?" Akira demanded in sadistic pleasure. "You're mine. I can do whatever I want with you—even if it means killing both of you!"
"Don't…" Ami whimpered frantically. "Do what you want to me. I'll let you." She stood fearfully from the chair she sat in, holding her arms out as though crucified. "Don't do anything to Chion."
Akira's eyes narrowed in fury, pupils seeming slit-like. "I already have." He lied simply. Fine, if physical pain wasn't going to teach her, mental pain would definitely work. He nearly laughed aloud at his discovery. She would believe a lie in a situation like this. "I killed him."
Ami froze, eyes wide and horrified. She attempted speaking, mainly refusals to believe Akira's words, yet her voice faltered and cracked. She took a few fearful steps away from Akira before falling to her knees. Hanging her head, she felt around numbly for a big enough piece of broken glass. She picked one up and held it out as an open invitation to kill her.
Akira laughed darkly. "That's pathetic. Pathetic. Are you telling me you're not able to live just because he's dead?" Before she could even attempt to reply, Akira continued. "Well, I suppose you should feel that way. After all, it was your fault."
"No!" She gasped in terror.
Akira's otherwise dark eyes gleamed with the happiness of victory. From somewhere in his robe he drew an ordinary kitchen knife, making Ami wonder momentarily how long he'd hidden it there, or whether he'd already had intentions of killing her. He stared down into her widened eyes, smiling pleasantly as he stepped forward as though to merely brush his fingers through her hair rather than to kill her possibly slowly and painfully.
In honesty, she didn't feel a thing.
-X-
Ami's eyes wouldn't open.
She felt herself weakening by the minute as bright light flooded her vision regardless of her eyes being closed. Her body ached sharply, several spots stinging from the previous night that replayed itself over and over in her mind. She'd accepted after a rather psychotic episode that resulted in bed straps that she was a murderer. That fact stung, considering that it had truly been her fault. Life was useless and cold, in her opinion. The warmth had long since been drowned by the intensifying darkness.
"How is she?" A strikingly familiar voice asked somewhere nearby. She sighed mentally in exasperation. Not only was she most likely going insane from shock of being at fault in someone's murder, she now was hearing things.
"She's fine." A nurse replied in a low tone. "But when I say that, I mean physically. Mentally she's doing horrible. She won't eat, and she won't reply if you say something to her. Her eyes are blank. The other day she went on a rampage out of shock because of something. After that, we tried putting her on medication to help whatever this is. Her body won't react to it. To put it in simple terms, she's given up."
"Let me see her." It was a simple statement, yet there was fury and demand burning behind it. Her lungs felt heavy—why wouldn't the voice go away and quit speaking? Didn't it know that his voice was gone?
"I don't think that's a good idea right now," The nurse admitted.
Ami felt a wave of relief. The voice continued arguing with the nurse, though he never made any actual progress as to winning. Finally, she heard the curtain slide across the metal pole that held it intact, and she would have groaned in annoyance if her throat weren't horribly sore. What exactly had happened that night?
"So you've done it again."
Her eyes flew open in utter astonishment, and she cast a fearful glance towards the door. Her breath hitched and she sat up quickly, ignoring the familiar whirl of painkillers in her head. She moved back across the bed, holding her aching head. She had died and gone to hell. That's what had happened. It seemed logical enough—she was a sin, a parasite, was she not? But why was Chion here?
"No!" She moaned in a cracked voice. "Get out of here!" Get out of hell! She wanted to scream it at him. Hell is for sinners like me—get out!
"Fine." He responded shortly. "You don't need someone like me, anyway."
That completely floored her. "Wait!" She attempted, holding out a hand as though to stop him. "Chion-kun!"
Chion didn't listen. He turned away from her, reaching for the door handle. Ami hurriedly threw herself out of the hospital bed, grabbing the back of his shirt. He turned, slightly astonished at the sudden action for someone who'd been on the verge of death for days. She was clutching his shirt frantically.
"Don't go!" She whispered. "Don't leave me alone in hell."
He turned to face her slowly. "If this is hell, why are you here?
The happiness returned as though it had never left.
-Present-
The moonlight sent white shades across everything in its path that was previously stained with dark blue ink caused by the darkness of the night. The dark green curtains rustled subtly as Koyuu parted them in order to have a place to sit on the windowsill. She glanced down blankly at the sleeping Saku and Shige, and then over to Etsu's futon. She sighed in utter boredom, pouting slightly.
Etsu twitched and sat up slowly, bringing herself to a standing position. Koyuu blinked rapidly in surprise, and then stepped down from the window to see what she was doing more closely. She followed Etsu as silently as she could manage, stopping when the girl reached the door. She frowned and tugged the back of Etsu's shirt as though trying to stop her. Etsu whirled around with wide eyes, staring at exactly the spot where Koyuu was standing. Koyuu stared back, bewildered. Was she able to see her?
"What do you want?" Etsu asked without moving her gaze. That confirmed it. Etsu hadn't really 'awoken', had she? Koyuu frowned again in incomprehension. The real Etsu hadn't been awakened since she jumped from the building…her false persona that Koyuu had created had taken over to protect her.
"Ano…" Koyuu muttered.
"That voice." Etsu hissed shortly. "I've heard it before."
Koyuu froze. She'd awoken. She calculated it quickly in her mind—if the real Etsu had awoken, that meant that she remembered everything from her time as herself before she'd jumped, and possibly a little after that. She would understand perfectly what had happened to everyone she used to know, for Koyuu had been telling her 'unconscious' side all of the information while the false Etsu was asleep. But now that she was back and was going to be forced to face all of it—what would happen?
Etsu smiled darkly. "You've been telling me things for years, just filling me in on everything that's happened. I appreciate it." The last addition sounded a bit like sarcasm. "But I don't exactly believe you."
Koyuu stared at her in disbelief. "It's the truth." She argued. "Why else would I mentally tell you something like that?"
"You're messing with me!" Etsu accused furiously. "Stop, damn it! I don't believe you. The curse was broken last time, I know it was. Don't tell me there's another one! I don't believe you!"
"Test it." Koyuu ordered. "Hug one of the new zodiac members that is male. They'll transform. Yours was broken, remember? By Akito."
Etsu curled her fingers into a fist and punched the wall roughly, resulting in a shallow knuckle-shaped intent. She bit her tongue roughly at the slight pain. "Tell me you're lying." She pleaded, leaning against the closed door, looking away with remorse in her expression. "No one is really possessed anymore, are they?"
Koyuu nodded sadly. "If a new god is born into the Sohma, a new zodiac will be born as well. This version is badly corrupted. For one thing, there have been literal lapses in time. Someone that was born thirteen years ago may now only be ten, for some reason. We don't know why, but we think it has to do with the uneven cycling of the Minamizawa curse that Saku and I are placed under." She hesitated. "Not only were there time lapses, but there are two of every animal this time. Not all of them are alive—some were killed so that the zodiac would seem…immaculate. Yet I wouldn't let all of them die. A few of them are alive, now."
"Are you crazy?" Etsu demanded. "Time lapses are something out of a damn science fiction movie, and why the hell would there be two? That's completely illogical!"
Koyuu flushed in embarrassment for some reason. "I know they are. But in Minamizawa, where we are now, there's a curse that possesses people by supposedly demonic spirits and drives them to kill. It happens in these separate 'worlds'. Fate lays out what is going to happen in each world, and sadly it's always been true and really happened. So as the people from a world die, the entire world repeats itself, which includes the entire Minamizawa area. If anyone stays too long, they get thrown into the repetition. That's what caused the time lapses—Minamizawa is the actual origin of the Sohma. The very first Sohma, the lonely old man with the animals from the Chinese zodiac, held his banquet here, where he lived." (It's the legend of the Sohma curse. I think it might be in the fan book under 'why the Sohma are possessed.') Koyuu explained. "Because the curse was broken in the previous generation, it slipped from my control this time and two of every animal ended up being born. Yet along with that, a trigger was created in order to break the curse when it came time for that to happen. Yet she doesn't know she's a trigger—we never told her and erased all evidence that she could find."
Etsu locked her jaw stubbornly, glaring at the wall. "Why were you calling…that thing pretending to be me…something like Hanshin? Am I a rebellious spirit?" She demanded darkly.
Koyuu sweat dropped. "I thought it represented the village curse well."
(Interruption: Yes. That is the only reason—it sounded like it had something to do with the killing curse. Don't you just want to strangle me right about now? Ha, ha. Sorry for making you guys think it was some huge crucial part of the story.)
Etsu stared at her in disgust. "Do I look like someone who wants to have a name given to my schizophrenic other self just because it sounds like a mascot?"
"It's not schizophrenic…" Koyuu muttered.
"Whatever." Etsu snapped. "Tell me what happened to Sora. Is he still alive? He didn't kill himself or anything, did he?"
Koyuu shook her head. "He's alive." She looked away and added darkly. "For now." She drew back after seeing the expression on Etsu's face—deadly. "He's going to die in a year." She squeaked fearfully.
The door flew open and crashed loudly into the wall. Etsu stormed outside furiously, without an idea in her mind where she might be going. She ignored Koyuu's demands to know where she was going, instead raising her hand and flicking her wrist out as though it counted as a valid response.
A year? She thought in incredulity. "DAMN IT!" She screeched aloud. She stomped down the dirt road, leaving deep imprints in the trodden earth where she stepped. There came a rumble of thunder in the distance, and she glanced up hopelessly. Why hadn't she noticed the looming rain clouds before? First one drop, then another fell to the ground. She narrowed her eyes in frustration as a downpour quickly started. "Well isn't that just great?"
-X-
Practically blinded by fury, Etsu threw open the door of Shigure's home, ignoring the fact that since so much time had passed he may not live there. Yet since Koyuu's words were probably lies, anyway, what did it matter? She had never believed in fortunes or psychics, so why should she listen to some mental apparition that spoke to her? The entire idea was completely illogical—not to mention insane.
The fact that the main room was empty filled her with an insane urge to scream.
She bit down on her tongue and stalked inside, sitting down on the floor in the living room, slumped against the wall. It was a mess, where she was. Everyone she knew was probably dead, had already died, or was on the verge of death. Before she could think of a valid reason for why Sora would even think of that…suicide contract…a flood of memories burst through like beating down a dam.
He smirked, then jumped up and jabbed his thumb into his chest. "Manabe Kakeru!" He cried. "And I AM BLACK!"
What had happened to him? Sure, she never knew him very well, but they still saw each other almost daily in the Student Council room. Was he dead?
"Call me by my name, you little whore."
Her father. Was he dead? Was he alive? Had he finally gone to prison for all of the ghastly things he'd done to her?
"YAMERO!"
That stung to remember. What had she been thinking? Did she honestly want to hurt Sora that badly? Who the hell was she?
Were they dead? Was everyone dead? Yuki, Kyo, Tohru…was everyone gone? The entire world seemed to darken at that realization. That meant that she was utterly and entirely alone in wherever this was. Why had she even tried to take her life if it meant that she was going to end up stranded in a crowd of unfamiliar faces?
She hated it.
She covered her face with her hands in desperation and screamed as loudly as she could manage. The screams quickly turned into sobs, the overall weight of her current situation seeming crushing. Yet there was no escape. Whispers and memories were closing in like crushing walls, and she was forced to recap them all.
Good night. I love you.
Falling through the air was exhilarating. The harsh 'wind' blew her hair and clothes roughly as she dropped through the open air. Her mind was set only on the fact that this was the end of it all—no one would suffer any more because of her. Finally, the pretty petty wolf would be dead. Adrenaline ripped through her senses, setting her entire being ablaze with excitement. Falling felt like flying, and she closed her eyes as though to protect the illusion.
Falling feels like flying…until you hit the ground.
She could feel the impact tremor in every bone in her body, sending waves of horrible pain crashing through her every nerve. The sickening snap of her ribs as she hit the ground echoed in her ears as pain struck through her like lightning. She knew she was dying, and it was the blackness of her vision that told her all she needed to know.
It was over.
-X-
Sohma Kyo hastily descended the stairs, peering into the living room curiously. He'd heard a scream not too long ago, and it had definitely come from downstairs. He looked around the room before his sight fell on a pale young woman slumped against the wall, long bangs covering her eyes and jet black hair fanned out beside her, some locks cascading over her shoulders.
"Who the HELL are YOU?" He demanded loudly.
She flew into a standing position quickly, staring at him with shocked bright copper eyes. Before he knew what was happening, she had wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder, crying for some reason.
"What the hell are you doing?" He practically shouted. "Are you stupid?" Yet he never transformed. He stared down at the girl, thoroughly confused.
"Kyo-kun…" She whispered. "You're not dead."
"What are you talking about?" Kyo hissed in annoyance.
She pulled away and looked at him with wide, confused eyes. "So I did something really bad, right?" She began. "So then I went and jumped off this building and died but then when I thought I was dead it turned out that this weird little purple-haired girl had put some other person in my head and they were going around as me and I didn't know it but I woke up as me a few hours ago and then I learned that the guy I did something really bad to is going to die in a year and so I came here to see if Shigure-nii would know where he might be so I can find him and beat him senseless but it turned out that everybody is dead except you."
"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about." He stared at her in annoyed confusion. "Did you know my dad?"
"Dad…?" She repeated.
"Yeah, he lives at the old dojo he inherited from his dad."
"Who are you?" She asked darkly. "I never knew your father."
"ACK!" He screeched. "Look, I'm Kyo. THE SECOND."
She blinked up at him in confusion, and then turned around and ran from the house in what looked like the blink of an eye. "Thanks Kyo Jr.!" She called, almost euphorically. The sudden happiness was manic.
They're alive, someone is alive!
-X-
"Tadaima!" Etsu cried, throwing open the door to the dojo despite the fact that she did not live there. "Kyo-kun? Tohru-kun? Hello?" She didn't stop at the mat for taking off one's shoes, for she'd left the house that her 'schizophrenic other self' had been living in barefoot in a black tank top and shorts. Not that it particularly mattered to her—being half-naked in public was the least of her worries at the moment.
There was a shuffling, and a light flicked on in the main room. Etsu stared into a pair of brown eyes on an…aged…face. She was a brunette woman, small in bone structure with a face that still reflected youngness in its highlights, brunette hair falling to the middle of her back in a straight style, wavy from being tied up in braids. She was confused, scrutinizing Etsu carefully before gasping loudly.
"Etsu-san?" Honda Tohru cried in surprise. "Y-you look the same as when I saw you last!"
Etsu smiled gleefully at the reunion—Tohru still hadn't outgrown her habit of speaking politely. "I know, I know." Etsu rolled her eyes, the smile still plastered on her face. "I don't know why that is, so don't ask. I haven't seen you in so long!" She exclaimed excitedly. "Do you remember that time when I beat up Kyo-kun?"
When Tohru cocked her head to the side in confusion, Etsu felt her face flush. Those must be old memories to Tohru—they were the only ones Etsu had. Her only recent 'memories' were only things that Koyuu had been telling her unconscious presence in her other self's mind. She felt the smile slip from her face.
"It was right before Sora showed up." She murmured wistfully. "He was hurt." She managed to choke out. The words hurt and Sora in the same sentence seemed like acid or deadly poison, now.
Tohru's face lit with remembrance. "I do remember, now, Etsu-san!" She informed the youthful girl happily. "You grew your hair so long." She acknowledged rather dreamily. "When did it turn fully black like that?"
Etsu smiled back. "I don't remember growing it out. After…" she froze. Did Tohru know about the suicide attempt? "After I…ran away to live in the woods for a really long time I wound up with amnesia after I hit my head really hard on something." She assured Tohru quickly, knocking in her head with a fist. "Then last night I woke up and everything came back to me. A few months before I ran away, I'd cut my hair short. But I have really fast-growing hair so it just turned out like this." She laughed.
Tohru looked like a worried mother. "You ran away? Are you alright?" Frenzied, worrisome panic was audible in her tone, slowly taken over by admiration. "Well, I think it looks very pretty! You shouldn't cut it."
"I'm fine," Etsu assured her quickly. "You really think so? I think it's kind of…" She froze again, remembering her original intention for cutting her hair. "I felt like if I changed myself and became a different person, I wouldn't have feelings for Sora, Akito wouldn't figure that out, and hurt him." "Bothersome." She finished grudgingly, eyes narrowing slightly.
Tohru, sensing the suddenly tense atmosphere, veered away from the subject. "Well…um…would you like to sit down? Here, I'll make tea." She showed Etsu to the living room, and hurried into the kitchen in the room behind it.
Etsu sat quietly at the low table, staring blankly at the wall. She refused to let her mind wander and dredge up memories she didn't want to think about, let alone be forced to visually recap. She realized with a start how insane something like that sounded, and grit her teeth in annoyance, bringing her fist down on the carpeted floor. She counted the seconds in order to distract herself, finding herself in perfect metronome rhythm with the clock on the wall.
After what seemed like an eternity, but really had only been a few minutes, Tohru exited the kitchen with a tray adorned with two steaming cups of hot tea. She set it down on the table with a familiar clumsy air. She sat down, tucking her long skirt beneath her knees neatly. She reached for a cup with a sudden slowness that struck Etsu with a feeling of guilt. It was because Tohru was old that she was acting this way—slower reactions, slower movements…it was depressing to think that she would never find herself that way if whatever was keeping her from aging was still intact. Right now she should have been around forty-five. She felt that it was somehow her fault that she was like this—trapped in youth forever to make the same mistakes over and over again.
Suddenly, she remembered her reason for coming. "Have you seen Sora lately?"
Tohru thought for an agonizing moment. "No, I haven't. Are you looking for him?" She asked.
Etsu groaned. "Do you at least know where he's living?" Tell me it's not an asylum. She pleaded mentally. "I really, really need to talk to him."
Tohru thought again. "No, I'm sorry." She replied apologetically. "But you might try his house—I don't know if he still lives there or not. I'm sorry." She added again, looking down at her knees in slight embarrassment at not being able to provide a better answer. When she looked up, Etsu was gone, and the sliding door of the dojo was wide open.
-X-
The door flew open with a loud bang, revealing a panting Etsu standing in its wake, the fury having returned. "SORA!" She shouted to the darkened front room, finding it empty. "I know you're here." She added. "Might as well come out before I have to go find you. And that won't be pleasant, trust me." She stepped into the living room, crossing her arms across her chest.
Curiously, Etsu looked around at the few things adorning the living room. It was previously his parents' house, before they died, and all things they'd put up in the particular room had long since been taken down and shoved in a dark corner of the attic somewhere in a cardboard box. Her eyes fell on something in a corner, and her entire face flushed in utter mortification. She heard someone gasp loudly, and realized with another strike of embarrassment that it had been her.
She stared at a picture of herself, an old one, in which she wore a sour expression, as though the person taking the picture had just mortally insulted her to the point of no return. Her hair was the color it had been when she was possessed by the wolf; her skin a shade tanner than it currently was due to the fact that she hadn't been in the sunlight in…well…years.
Covering her eyes with an occasional peek to see where she was going, she reached out in front of her blindly to turn the picture over, still fighting the urge to laugh out loud at the rather stalkerish action. He'd never been one for mementos, so why did he have one? More importantly, why did he have one of her? When she'd successfully turned the picture over, she removed her hand, remembering her initial purpose for coming. Beating the hell out of him for doing something so incredibly idiotic was first—defacing this stalkerish monument would come later.
Etsu turned down a hallway, remembering clearly where his bedroom was. She threw open the door with a loud bang, stepping inside and placing her hands on her hips. The room was dark, yet her previous possession had landed her with good eyesight in the dark. She peered around the room, gaze falling on a futon lain out on the wooden floor. He was asleep. She hadn't even considered that.
She slowly and quietly exited the room—though it wasn't necessary anyway, if he could sleep through noise like she'd been making—and decided to look around in his house some more. She opened another door in the hallway, finding it filled with children's things. At first she thought it was Sora's room from when he'd been a child. She picked up a piece of white drawing paper marked with brightly colored crayons. It was a stick figure drawing of a girl with yellow hair, and there was a tear on her face with an X where her mouth should have been. Written in clumsy katakana at the bottom was "Sohma Ai".
She gasped, throwing it to the floor. That child was still alive? How did it end up in this house?
She exited the room as quickly as possible, giving up the idea to see what was in the other rooms. She went back into the living room, thinking fast. After she'd jumped…she expected an orphanage to take Ai. How had Sora wound up with her? How had he raised a kid when he never spoke? Did he keep speaking? Where was she, now? She felt a strong urge to wake Sora up and take him into persistent questioning.
Suddenly finding herself exhausted, Etsu slumped against the wall in the living room and let herself fall into a deep, dreamless sleep, untouched by lingering memories that continued to haunt her. She awoke to darkened, rainy skies, rain and hail pounding on the roof as the wind drove the pouring rain in different directions like waves. She sat up straight from her slumped position that she hadn't moved from in the night. The clock on the wall read 9 AM.
"Ha," a voice came from where the hallway connected to the living room. "I think I've really lost it, now."
Etsu's eyes widened at the voice, and she quickly turned to where it came from, knowing whom it was. "Sora?" She asked incredulously. He stood with his thin arms crossed over his chest in disapproval or amusement, expression unreadable. He still dressed the same, typical black, tight clothes. There was something different about him—though he looked the same as he did before Etsu 'died'—his eyes were darker, with purple rings around them as though he hadn't slept in days. He was thinner, almost malnourished-looking. Etsu stood quickly, despite the aching protest in her bones, and rushed over to him.
"You're speaking?" She asked happily.
His eyes narrowed. "It would appear so. But clearly I've lost it if I'm seeing dead people." He shook his head.
"I'm not dead." She told him defiantly.
He nodded—though the disbelief was still apparent—and cocked his head to the side in an owlish manner all too common for him.
"Really, I'm not!" Etsu insisted, pitch of her voice growing higher in desperation.
"Explain to me how that's even possible."
Etsu's eyes narrowed. "Fine." She agreed. "So I jumped off a building and supposedly died. I thought I had died, too, but then I woke up last night to find myself exactly the same, well, except for that I got paler and my hair grew way long. And as I was leaving to go hell knows where, some little purple haired girl who'd been speaking to me stopped me. She apparently put some other me in my head and so I wasn't really me but it was the other person who was a huge airhead. So I didn't die."
He blinked twice. "So…you're saying…you're schizophrenic?"
"NO!" Etsu shrieked. "It's not my fault if people are putting other people in my head when I'm trying to go to hell!"
There was a silence. "Are you still cursed?"
"No." Etsu replied shortly. "Mine was broken by Akito-san."
"Obviously you are if you still look like that."
"What?" Etsu asked, confused.
Sora sighed. "All of the original Outsiders still look exactly the same. We haven't aged or anything since the turn of the new zodiac. We can't die, either, which is probably why you didn't."
"We can't die, either…"
Etsu suddenly remembered what she planned to do before she fell asleep. She clenched a fist and pulled her arm back, landing a swift punch to Sora's face. His lack of guard sent him nearly falling to the ground, yet he caught himself. He stared at her in stunned confusion.
"What the hell was that?" He asked.
"THAT'S FOR YOUR DAMN 'I WANT TO DIE' CONTRACT!" Etsu shrieked furiously. "Did you think that if I found out I wouldn't do anything? What the hell were you thinking when you told that damn Akira you wanted to die in a year?"
"I thought you were dead." He replied bitterly.
This only infuriated her more. She grabbed his shoulders, shaking him roughly. "So what? What would it even matter if I died? I don't want you to go and make suicide contracts just because I'm dead! Come on! I'm not anywhere near important enough for you to go and kill yourself over me."
"Really." It was more of a statement.
Etsu froze, staring at him in angered confusion that quickly turned to remorse. How could she stay angry knowing that she'd caused the darkness in his eyes? She dropped her gaze to the floor. "I'm such an idiot." She muttered. She finally looked up at Sora. "Tell me you'll get better." She requested.
"I don't understand what you mean."
She bit her tongue. "I want you to be happy. I hate seeing you miserable." He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. "I can see it all over your face. Plus, I can tell you haven't been eating." For proof she poked a protruding rib.
"What do you want me to do about it?" He asked darkly.
Etsu smirked lightly, pulling his face closer with her fingertips on his jaw. She leaned in and gently pressed her lips to his. His eyes widened considerably and his face flushed, remaining frozen with surprise for a few seconds before leaning into the kiss. She pulled away, cracking a grin at his embarrassed expression, cheeks stained with red.
"I still love you, you know." She whispered.
-X-
"PATHETIC!" Malicious screeched, throwing a dark green notebook across the room. Kotone quickly dodged it and laughed out loud when it ended up hitting Sono in the face. Malicious glared mercilessly at them.
"Why didn't you stop them when they were kissing?" Venom demanded.
"You didn't tell us to!" Sono argued.
"SO?" Malicious demanded of Sono. "You're ME! You should know to pop up at the most obnoxious moments!"
"But how am I supposed to know if Etsucow is going and slutting around?" Sono asked darkly.
Malicious pulled a black, bulging backpack out of the abyss and zipped it open, letting the contents fall to the floor. There were multiple video cameras and screens, most of the screens displaying what Etsu was doing at the moment. Also included were various spy gears, even grenades.
"What the hell is that?" Kotone and Sono asked in unison.
"It's our stalking equipment." Venom explained proudly. "We use this stuff all the time as we drive around in our hard core stalker van."
"But you're not even old enough to—!"
"SHUT UP!" Malicious interrupted. "Now, you two FAILURES go back and interrupt the hell out of this scene before I end up with her getting another kid!" She turned around defiantly. "Damn characters always buttsecksing without my knowledge…with their fancy birth control…sluts…even the guys…FAILURES!" Malicious suddenly turned around frantically. "Be sure to remind them to use a condom!"
"Kay." Kotone and Sono promised.
"Take three-hundred and forty-four…" Venom muttered, snapping the fancy Hollywood clapper.
Etsu smirked lightly, pulling his face closer with her fingertips on his jaw. She leaned in and—
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Sono ordered, standing in the doorway with Kotone by her side. They both wore Suzumiya Haruhi cosplay outfits. "PDA is illegal! What the hell do you think you're about to do?"
"But we're not in—!"
"ONLY A FOOL TRIES TO FOOL MR. T!" Sono interrupted a dumbfounded Etsu.
"What?" Etsu asked, confused and freaked out by the sudden interruption.
"You dare bring light to my lair? YOU MUST DIE!" Kotone shrieked suddenly.
"Now, Etsucow," Sono cooed parentally.
"What did you just call me?" Etsu demanded.
Sono ignored her. "I'm sure that there are many things about growing up that you just don't understand, and all of these changes are going to take place very suddenly, and before you know it, you'll be a woman."
"I've already heard—!"
"USE A CONDOM, YOUNG JEDI!" Sono shouted. "DON'T…" She stopped and suddenly burst into a fit of manic laughter. "Oh…oh my god…" She guffawed. "You…. you…you're a forty-five year old virgin!"
Kotone laughed along with her. "That's almost as bad as Edward Cullen!" She managed to say.
"From Twilight?" Sora piped up.
"SHUT UP AND GO BACK TO YOUR EMO CORNER!" Kotone shouted. "I BANISH YOU!"
"Shuuuuuuuunnn!" Sono added. "Shun the non-believer! SHUN!"
"I'll break your neck!" Etsu threatened.
"Damn freshmen…" Sono muttered.
"We already graduated high school!" Etsu argued.
Sono clamped her hands over her ears as though trying to drown out the sound and began to scream 'I'm a Little Teapot.'
-THE MADNESS BE OVER-
(Interruption: Takaya-sensei doesn't specify what Hatori's father's name is, so I just chose one. I made a big-o typo. Kazashi is the older one, and Azami is the younger. Kazashi is the one who killed the people in chapter seven; I just now realized that I'd accidentally switched them.)
"Are you close to finishing your research?" Azami asked hopefully from her position on the floor next to her sister who nodded in agreement.
Their mother smiled, brunette hair pulled into a loose ponytail. Her eyes were a dark green color, kind. She leaned forward toward the two children. "Let me tell you something," she began. "Your father and I are working very hard, and you needn't worry about us. You two have fun."
"Is there any way we can help?" Kazashi proposed.
Their mother laughed. "Well, since you're so exuberant about it, I'll let you two in on a very big secret, okay?"
They nodded in eager unison.
She pointed to a metal case resting on the desk, latched tightly with a small padlock on it. "That is very important," she explained. "If something ever happens to us and we aren't able to continue our studies, you have to give that to a man named Sohma Hisao. He's a doctor, and a close associate of ours. If you're ever in trouble, call him or his son, Hatori. Hatori is around ten years older than you two, but he'll help you if you need it." She assured them. Her lips moved soundlessly after that.
I would have never imagined the importance of that conversation.
"Niyuri-chan!" A man stood by his cart of vegetables called out to the two ten-year-old white-haired twins as they walked down the road of trodden earth to the school building, quiet as usual yet radiating a sense of childish innocence. They were conversing softly to each other every now and then, and at the greeting they both blinked and looked up in unison, smiling happily and waving in a cheerful manner.
(Niyuri 'ni' means two, and 'yuri' means lily, so two lilies. It's a nickname.)
The vender waved back and they turned away, skipping down the lane to the tiny school building.
We though that we had all we could ever ask for in life—a happy home, the kindness and love from many of our neighbors, a nice income that supported the family perfectly…we though that life would always be happy.
It wasn't.
"Sohma-kun?" Sensei called, reentering the classroom after having left a few minutes before with a police officer. "You…are leaving early today." There was an odd hint of something dark and remorseful in her tone, as though knowing that something horrible was about to happen or be discovered, and she'd known it all along. She didn't dare lay eyes on the twins as they stood in unison, leaving the room silently.
They followed the officer down the hall and outside, stopping at his car.
"Why are we leaving?" The slightly younger (though only by minutes) of the two, Azami asked curiously.
"There's been an incident." The officer explained hurriedly. "It was your father."
Shocked, the older of the two, Kazashi, clambered into the back seat of the car hurriedly, Azami following suit. The officer sped down the road, emitting puffs of tan-colored dust as the wheels thrust the dirt from the road into the air.
As they stopped at the hospital, the officer quickly explained to the receptionist what their purpose for coming was, and a look of sadness crossed over the receptionist's face, and she slowly and mechanically gave them the room number. The slowness of the elevator was nearly agonizing, the twins shifting their weight uneasily as the steep climb continued to delay itself.
"Here we are," the officer presented as though trying to lighten the mood. He pushed open a heavy wooden door.
There was a man lying in the bed, sheets spotted with blood and bandages wrapped tightly around his skull and throat. The twins gasped loudly and hurried over to their father, uncannily similar looks of worry distorting their young features. Azami studied the wounds and began to cry silently, Kazashi allowing her sister to take refuge in her arms.
"What…happened?" Kazashi managed to ask.
The officer sighed sadly. "Not too long ago we got a call saying there was someone in the house. While we don't know exactly what happened, we can infer…"
"Okaa-san!" Azami wailed, pointing to a woman on a nearby bed, sheets stained with blood and bandaged with an eerie resemblance to a mummy.
It started there.
"So," a legal worker began, tapping a stack of papers on the table to straighten them. "It appears that you have no living close relatives. Who are you going to be living with?"
"Sohma…Hisao." Kazashi answered slowly and quietly after a moment of hesitation. "My parents' associate."
He sighed. "I'm afraid there's no legal availability for us to do that. Are you sure that you can't live with a more distant relative?"
"We don't know any." Azami replied.
The man sighed again, adjusting his glasses. "I guess it can't be helped."
-X-
The twins stood beside a toweringly tall man, his features large and fleshy yet appearing quite strong. He held a strongly visible authority and dressed in plain dark gray. Behind him towered a large run-down house, a rusty old sign reading 'Children's Home' nailed to it in a crude manner looming in the distance.
"I apologize for any trouble." The legal worker concluded in a rushed manner, opening the door of the car. As he drove away, the man smiled serenely, waving. As soon as he was out of sight, the man's face contorted in anger.
"Follow me." He hissed.
Terrified, they followed him throughout the corridors of the building, hearing the horrified screams of children and sounds of crashing, threats being uttered and apologies being screamed at the top of someone's lungs. There were guards, similar in appearance to the man in charge, stationed in the hallways. They passed a small birdcage on a wrought iron stand, a small golden key lying inside.
"You will call me Master, not anything else." The man explained roughly. "If you cause a disturbance or are ill-behaved, you will be punished. Those are the rules. If you are caught sneaking out, we will kill you with no hesitation." He threw open the door to a mid-sized room, many futons lain out on the floor. "NOW SLEEP!" He roared, pushing them inside violently and slamming the door.
-X-
"Ah!" A boy exclaimed as he accidentally sent his bowl of soup falling to the floor where it splashed on the carpet. Everyone at the long dining table held his or her breath as a guard stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry!" The boy quickly apologized in sheer terror.
"It's okay," the guard smiled maliciously. "Eat it."
The boy smiled hopefully. "Right!" And he picked up the bowl from the floor, spooning out what was left. The guard's grip on his shoulder increased and he pulled the boy from his chair onto the floor, smashing his face where the wet area from the soup was on the floor.
"EAT IT!" The guard ordered. "All of it!"
-That night-
"Did you know?" A girl with two brunette braids that hung just below her shoulders whispered, the bright light of the moon making the inhabitants of the room visible as they lay propped up on their elbows in their futons, leaning towards each other. "There's a children's center over the hill where the woman in charge is kind and caring—I've heard that everyone calls her mother." She began to cry. "I want to get out of here! I want to go somewhere kind and warm and motherly!"
"The key in the bird cage," another girl, one with jaw-length black hair took a deep breath. "The key in the birdcage in the hallway is the one that unlocks those big back doors." She smiled a dark yet excited smile. "We can get out and go where it's kind and warm and motherly!"
"We'll get caught!" The girl with braids whimpered. "Don't you know what they do if you get caught?"
"We won't get caught." The girl's tone was sly. "Once there was a group of kids who escaped." Her tone went serious. "And only one of them got caught. Want to know why?" She didn't bother letting them answer. "Because all of the kids ran in different directions. They're probably really happy now."
"But…one of us will…" The girl with braids squeaked.
"Would you rather stay in this hell or have a chance of getting out? Even if you're the one that gets caught, wouldn't you rather die than stay here?" The black-haired girl snapped. "I'd rather risk it."
"But—!" The braided girl collapsed into tears again. "I'm scared!"
The black-haired girl sighed and looked away from her. "I, personally, would risk it all just to get out of here. But I'll need help. Azami, Kazashi—what about you?" She asked demandingly.
"We'll do it." Kazashi replied surely. Azami nodded in a dazed manner.
The black-haired girl smirked. "Good. Once you get out, run for the top of the hill and never, ever look back. If you make even the slightest hesitation, you'll slow down and increase your risk of getting caught. Once you get to the top of the hill, call out the English word 'light' and wait for the rest of us." Her eyes darkened. "I do really need all of you to make this work."
A blonde-haired girl, who'd been silent the entire time, finally spoke up. "Ginka-san, I'll make sure that no one catches us. I'll be the lookout."
The black-haired girl, Ginka, nodded and continued, "If you happen to get caught, don't give up without a fight. Do whatever it takes to get free."
They all nodded.
"Let's go." Ginka ordered, standing up.
-X-
"It's not working, it's not working!" The girl with braids whimpered as Ginka struggled to fit the key into the lock, scowling.
"It's worked before, I know it has!" Ginka hissed, continuing to struggle with the lock. The blonde suddenly gasped loudly as a light flicked on down the corridor and the sound of distant footsteps approaching became audible.
"Someone's coming!" She announced in a frantic whisper. Ginka gritted her teeth and increased her speed in trying to open the door.
"What are you doing there?" One of the two guards demanded, appearing behind them. The girl with braids clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. It was at that instant that the lock gave a loud click and the door flew open, the five children running out and scrambling.
"Sohma Hisao!" Kazashi yelled to Azami before she was out of her sight. "Call Sohma Hisao!"
Azami disappeared into a large gathering of trees and Kazashi ran as fast as she possibly could, frantic as she sensed a presence behind her. As she ran she turned to see two beams of light from a flashlight following her, and she let out a bloodcurdling scream as she continued to run, trying to mentally control the horrified shaking of her knees that threatened to give out at any moment. She felt her face collide with something hard and slippery as thunder crashed overhead, and she felt obligated to scream again as she realized that she'd ran into a wall of dampened earth—a dead end.
Flashlights beamed behind her, and she frantically tried to climb up the earthen mound, only to fall back to the ground painfully. Squinting her eyes shut, when she finally opened them, she stared into the furious faces of two of the guards—one of them being Master. He stalked forward and grabbed her face, trying to pull her away.
"If you happen to get caught, don't give up without a fight. Do whatever it takes to get free."
Desperately, Kazashi turned her head enough to have her lips near his thumb. She bit down on it roughly, refusing to let go as he howled. As she remembered her promise to her mother to carry on the information to Hisao, she bit down even harder—and broke through the skin. The metallic taste of blood erupted in her mouth and she pulled away, spitting his blood onto the ground. As he wrung his hand in pain she ran around the perimeter of the dead end, searching for an escape.
Finally, one showed itself, a woodsy cut-through leading into a muddy clearing. Rain had begun to pour down, lightning illuminating the sky and thunder crashing loudly like heavenly cymbals. Finally allowing herself to slow down behind an immense oak tree, Kazashi slumped down, allowing the tears to pour freely down her cheeks.
"What did I do, Kami-sama?" She demanded in a whisper. "What did Azami do?" The thunder brought no answer. "My dad once said, 'the world is full of bad times and good times, and neither lasts very long'! If that's the case, take back all this misery and give me my fortune!" She cried, standing up and spreading her arms. "If you hate me so much, why won't you kill me? Sohma Kazashi right here!" She shouted to the thunder and lightning. "KILL ME! KILL ME! HURRY UP AND KILL ME!" She screamed manically. "KILL ME LIKE YOU KILLED MY MOM AND DAD!" The lightning flashed and thunder crashed louder than usual, undoubtedly striking down in the clearing. Kazashi fell to her knees, covering her head.
Slowly, she looked around, surprised that she hadn't been hit. Where the large oak had been, there was now a blackened, smoldering stump that smelled strongly of smoke. Kazashi stood and laughed loudly, insanely. "I won, Kami-sama!" She shrieked. "I won! I won! Now you have to take back this misery!" The laugher stopped, and tears began to trickle down her paled face. "Kami-sama…" she whispered. "…Doesn't exist."
The light from the guard's flashlights appeared behind her again, followed by voices. "Where'd she go?" One asked.
"She's around here somewhere." Another growled.
Kazashi ran for her life out of the clearing and back into the woods, eventually ending up at a small lake. She ran to the other side of the river, through a small gazebo and up the rock-lined path. She nearly cried of happiness when she saw the most glorious and out of place standing before her: a phone booth. She ran inside, shutting the door quickly.
She sat down on the floor of the booth, wrapping her arms around her knees. "It's warm…" she whispered. Her eyelids felt heavy, and she allowed them to slide shut, dozing off. She awoke a few hours later, in the very dead of the night. She jolted up, eyes wide as raindrops pounded against the glass as she remembered the pursuit, wondering stupidly if she'd been caught before realizing that she was alone in the booth. Her hands fell to the floor limply and brushed against something cold and metal. She glanced over; gasping as she realized it was a coin. She hurriedly picked it up and stood, picking up the receiver of the phone.
"Sohma Hisao," she murmured, trying to think of his number, realizing with a depressing sinking feeling that she didn't know it. She remembered with a start her mother's silent mouth movements, and memorized them in her mind, trying to mimic them.
"San…ichi…ku…ni…" She gasped. "Sohma Hisao-san's phone number!" She announced to herself in discovery. She pushed the coin into the slot, dialing the number as she struggled to remember. A pang of hope shot through her as the phone rang, and she began breathing heavily as her heart rate sped up.
"Moshimoshi?" ("Hello?") A male voice asked on the other line.
"Sohma-san?" Kazashi asked, surprised at the darkness in and low volume of her voice.
"Yes, this is Sohma Hatori."
Ice shot through her veins before remembering that he was Hisao's son. She relaxed. "This is Sohma Kazashi."
"What do you need, Kazashi-san?" Hatori asked. He sounded to be around nineteen, maybe twenty.
"I'm…Sohma Haruka and Sohma Jiro's daughter." She explained slowly.
"I think my father might have mentioned them before," Hatori replied. "Did something happen to them?"
Kazashi bit her lip. "My parents…were killed." She willed herself to say.
"How very unfortunate…they were probably good people."
"They told me…to call you…if something happened to them." She whispered.
"In that case, what business do you have?"
"HELP—!" She started. The line suddenly went dead with another particularly loud crash of thunder and flash of lightning and she realized in horror that the phone lines had probably been corrupted. She was helpless.
Kazashi left the booth cautiously, knowing that she was in more danger staying in one place than getting to the hill. She ran again, though not as quickly as before due to the fact that she wasn't being followed closely. Suddenly, footsteps sounded behind her. Kazashi gasped and ran as fast as her worn legs could carry her.
"Kazashi-oneechan!" A familiar voice called.
Kazashi turned quickly to see Azami sprinting toward her, fancy blue dress that she'd been wearing, the one she'd packed when she'd heard they were going to a children's center, ripped and muddy. Her hair was unkempt, face ashen and tears streaming down her dirty cheeks. Kazashi caught her twin in an embrace.
"Baka Azami." She muttered. "Why did you follow me? It's dangerous."
Azami frowned. "Because I love you, Kazashi-oneechan."
The wind rustled the trees, but Kazashi took it as a warning nevertheless. She clutched Azami's hand, running at full speed in the direction of the hill.
"They're behind us!" Azami whispered frantically, and sure enough seconds later flashlights came into view.
"Run as fast as you can!" Kazashi hissed, continuing to run through the path in the forest, preparing to run up the stairs to the top of the cliff-like hill. A rough hand caught she and Azami by the shoulder, tucking under their arms. Kazashi thrashed wildly, trying to get free. Finally, she gave up, realizing that the struggle was of no use against them.
She was going to die. She knew it.
-X-
"Etsu-san," Hatori glanced over at the girl sitting in his office, complaining of a bad headache. The young girl was slumped over, hair covering her eyes; face expressionless as she rubbed her temples in a circular motion, wincing every now and then.
"There's…something…" Etsu muttered, not looking up. "It's like something in me is hurting…really badly…"
Hatori was taken aback at the valid proof of the close connection between the Outsiders and their god. But which one was it that was in danger? Suddenly he remembered the odd phone call he'd received a few hours before. Kazashi, she'd called herself. "Can you hear a name? Echoing phrases?"
Etsu was silent a moment. "Yeah. It says 'help me'."
Hatori quickly began to trace the area in which the call had been made, glancing over at Etsu occasionally. After what seemed like eternities but had only been a few minutes, he stared at a map of the area code the call had been made in. He turned to Etsu. "I think there's something happening to a member of your Outsiders."
"Get your car." Etsu hopped down from the couch.
-X-
"Gomen nasai!" Kazashi repeated the phrase, as she was drug by her hair down the hallway by a furious Master. "Gomen nasai! GOMEN NASAI!"
Master kicked the door open to a small, dark room with a single bench in it. Azami was seated on it, staring at her twin with an expression of utter horror, her arms and legs bound with thick rope. Master smiled sadistically at Kazashi and held up his thumb for her to see. There was a white bandage wrapped around it. Kazashi gasped loudly as he slammed her against the wall, his hands around her throat.
As he began to tighten his grip, the door opened, light from the hallway flooding in. Two guards stood in its wake. They pointed to the twins and nodded. Master growled under his breath and dropped Kazashi to the floor. Azami managed to stand after Kazashi quickly untied the rope. They followed the guards to the front gate, where two people were waiting.
One was a young girl, around their age, with long, dark gray, brown-flecked hair and furious copper eyes. The second was a man, around twenty, with grown-out dark brown hair that covered his left eye. The young girl stepped forward, pointing a thin finger at one of the guards.
"You want to explain to me exactly what you were trying to do to them? She demanded angrily. They didn't respond, which irritated her more. "You sick freaks!" She cried accusatorily. "Do you take pleasure in seeing young children in pain? Do you? What is wrong with you?"
"Etsu-san," the man warned.
"Shut up, Hatori-niisan!" She hissed. "They were trying to kill them!"
"Go to the car." Hatori explained to the twins, ignoring the girl who he'd called Etsu. The twins nodded in a slow unison, clambering into the car silently. The driver was stoic at the steering wheel. Finally, after some particularly loud arguing with the guards, Etsu and Hatori got into the car.
"Hey," Etsu acknowledged. "Can I call you two Kyoumi? As a nickname?" She asked curiously. Azami nodded. Kazashi's expression was utterly blank.
"Don't pester them," Hatori scolded. "They've been through a lot."
"You're going to live with Hatori-niisan." Etsu explained.
-X-
"No, not like that." Hatori corrected a thirteen-year-old Kazashi's hand position over the mannequin's eyes. "With that kind of motion, all you'll do is edit their memories, not erase them."
"Isn't that kind of the same thing?" Kazashi asked.
"To erase them is to dispose of them permanently. Editing only changes them. It's not the same at all." Hatori sighed.
"I'm no good at this memory erasing stuff." Kazashi admitted. "Can I just stick with the editing?" She asked hopefully.
"I doubt you'll find a use for it." Hatori replied pessimistically.
Kazashi shrugged. "Maybe I will."
Hatori sighed again. "The first fox, Sohma Ichigo, didn't get as close as you, though. He ended up being able to revive memories instead of erase them."
"You've had all three foxes living here!" Kazashi gaped.
"And they all have that same determination to never give it up until they're positive they can't do it." Hatori scolded. Kazashi laughed sheepishly.
"Tadaima!" Azami called out from the front door nearby.
"Speak of the devil," Kazashi laughed, noticing a scowling Ichigo by her side. "Hi, orange-head."
"I TOLD YOU THAT'S NOT MY NAME!"
Kazashi only laughed.
I thought that my troubles had finally left me behind. Yet…I was horribly wrong.
"What happened to her?" A fifteen-year-old Kazashi asked incredulously, feeling a strong wave of déjà vu as she stood by the hospital bed, staring at her twin's unconscious form instead of her parents'.
"She's not going to live." A doctor informed Hatori, who was unfortunately overheard by a suddenly hysteric Kazashi.
"NO!" She cried. "Azami can't die! She can't!"
"Kazashi, let's go." Hatori murmured.
"NO!" Kazashi shrieked. "DO SOMETHING!" She pointed at the doctor. "SAVE HER! I KNOW YOU CAN!"
I realized something. I had to become her. I had to be her. I began living with Hatori full time rather than going to a different children's center (one I had previously attended with Azami) during the weekdays. I had never found comfort there, considering the constant teasing of the boys who know of our possession.
We did horrible things during those times.
Though I knew that Azami never would have wanted me to pose as her, I couldn't help but feel as though I'd found a loophole in that reasoning.
I edited memories of all who knew her, fixing it to where I had been the only one, that thee had never been twins—only me. There would be no Kazashi, no Azami, either. Instead, in our place, was the personality I'd adopted as impersonation as my sister while I could not bring myself to use her name.
I wouldn't be Azami.
I would become Kyoumi.