What Alcide had said was harsh, but that didn't make it any less true. And I knew he was a good man. I believed he was sincere in wanting what was best for me. But what he thought was right for me and what I wanted for myself didn't exactly mesh all the same. He was a bit like Eric in that way.
I was getting a little tired of all these well-intentioned but high-handed men planning out my life for me. Didn't I have a job, and until recently, a house of my own? Hadn't I supported myself for several years now? Granted, sometimes things were tight, and it wasn't like my salary at Merlotte's was anything to crow about, but I was doing fine. I didn't need some man to step in and take care of me.
Though it was nice that Alcide wanted to. It was patronizing, and not at all modern, but it felt good to be wanted like that. To know that someone would want to have a family with me. Would want to spend their life with me.
But then there was the flipside of Alcide. That other part of him, that was so easy to disregard when he was being as sweet as he was, or looking as good as he did. The part of him that brought me to Colonel Flood's funeral under false pretenses, that used my guilt and shame over what I'd done to his ex-girlfriend to blackmail me into doing what he wanted. The part of him that didn't have the courage to just be honest and ask me for my help, when I would have been more than happy to assist him in any way I could.
That showed he didn't think much of me, didn't it? If he thought I had to be manipulated into helping a friend, that I was too dumb or too callous to grasp how important this was to him… Well, that certainly didn't bode well for whatever future he thought we might have together. Why couldn't he just be straight with me? Even now, I doubt he would have told me he wanted me to read Furnan tomorrow if I hadn't pressed him on it.
I still hadn't decided whether I'd do it or not. I was very reluctant to involve myself any further in the dangerous world of supernatural politics. It was bad enough my ties to the vampires had made me a primo target for the Fellowship of the Sun or whoever it was who got it into their head to try to barbecue me in my own house, now Alcide wanted to involve me in his pack's power squabbles, too? Uh-uh. If I could find a way out of this that didn't feel like I was betraying a friend, I'd take it.
I hated having to doubt people, to question their motives. I got enough of that dealing with humans. Being around supes was supposed to be a break. For once, I wouldn't know just how deceitful and two-faced the person sitting across from me could be. I wouldn't know what they were thinking about me, and I could have the luxury of hoping for the best, instead of the certainty of knowing the worst.
But when Alcide used his knowledge of what I'd done against me, that little fantasy I was living in shattered. Supes, even those I considered my friends, could be just as double-dealing as regular people; they were just a little harder for me to detect, that was all.
Maybe that was why I always had assumed the worst with Eric. Between him and Alcide, it was Eric who was the master manipulator, Eric who managed to turn every circumstance to his advantage. Alcide had always been so kind and thoughtful towards me. If the knowledge of how I ended Debbie could lead him to blackmail, how much more so would someone like Eric be tempted?
But strangely, over the course of the last couple nights, it was like my whole world had rearranged itself. Eric was now one of, if not the, people I trusted the most. I couldn't explain it, really. Sure, we'd had a couple deep conversations, but it went beyond that. I had this instinctive feeling that I was safe with him, and I had to fight this weird need to just go along with whatever he wanted, even when I knew he was being an ass. I actually felt a little guilty for disobeying him last night and going with Sam, as ridiculous as that was. I attributed that to making him worry, which I was genuinely sorry for, but that wasn't quite it.
Everything was moving way too fast. I was feeling things it took me weeks to develop with Bill and I just couldn't understand it. I was happy, though. At least I knew that. Just being near him made me feel good all over, like a rush.
I looked at the clock and saw I had a couple hours left before I had to head into work. Perfect, I had a few errands to run anyway.
My first stop was at the local hardware store, to have a set of spare keys made. I definitely did not want a repeat of last night. While I was at it, I made a copy for Eric, too. It was a spur of the moment decision, and later on I did think it was a bit early to consider giving him a key (We weren't even dating yet, were we?) but I figured I could hold on to it and give it to him when the time felt right. Besides, I rationalized, it was better for him to have a key than to bust down my door. I knew if he wanted in, a little property damage wouldn't dissuade him in the slightest.
I did a little grocery shopping before heading home and making a casserole and some biscuits for Calvin. It was still only late afternoon by the time I arrived at Hotshot, and his house looked pretty quiet, a couple extra cars lining the dirt road being the only sign something unusual was going on. I scooped up the food and carried it to the door. A nice, though somewhat strange-looking woman named Maryelizabeth took it from me, and ushered me in back to Calvin's room, where he sat propped up by a lot of pillows.
"Hi Sookie, it's good to see you."
I leaned over to give him a hug. "I'm glad to see you're doing well." I smiled at him. But as I pulled away, I caught the note of displeasure in his expression.
I practically predicted the next words that came out of his mouth. "You smell different. You're taking up with a vampire again?"
"Yes," I answered bluntly. He hadn't put that very nicely, so I didn't feel obliged to expand.
Not meeting my eyes, he spoke quietly. "Did I ever stand a chance with you at all?"
Oh god, I did not want to have this conversation again. "Calvin, I'm sorry, but I just don't see you that way."
He looked grim. "Well, I thank you for coming to visit with me. If you stay a while, we're having a party a little later. Crystal and your brother should be stopping by."
I was happy to hear my brother had been welcomed back into the tight-knit community. After the suspicion that surrounded him during the shifter shootings, it was a great weight off my chest to know the panthers of Hotshot didn't have it out for him anymore. At least some good had come from Sweetie's death.
"Thank you for inviting me, but I'm working tonight…" I gestured towards my outfit. I'd dressed in my work clothes so I could head straight into Merlotte's after leaving Hotshot.
He nodded. "Then I won't keep you."
On my way out, I paused and turned back to him. "I wanted to thank you for sending Dawson last night; at least, I assume you sent him?"
"Yeah, I told him to finish out his last night watching over you."
"Well, I appreciate it."
He regarded me curiously. "Did you need his protection?"
My eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "He didn't tell you?"
Calvin shook his head. Too late I remembered Eric warned him not to say anything.
"Andy Bellefleur didn't take Sweetie out by himself, did he?" Calvin looked at me knowingly.
"No. He didn't." I hoped I wouldn't have to give him any more details, and to my relief, he didn't press me further.
"Well I'm glad he was of service to you. If you ever need the protection of my pack, you know we're here for you."
"Thank you. And if there's ever anything I can do to help you out, just ask."
He gave me a firm nod, and I relaxed somewhat. Calvin was a good leader, and a valuable ally. In the back of my mind, I'd known that his interest in me wasn't purely platonic, but I was relieved that he didn't hold my lack of reciprocation against me. With my brother a newly turned werepanther, he needed someone like Calvin to keep an eye on him. Jason was enough trouble when he was fully human.
"Goodbye, Calvin. I hope you enjoy your party." I gave him a tentative smile.
"Goodbye, Sookie." There was a note of finality in his voice.
I arrived at Merlotte's less than a half hour later. I walked into Sam's office to drop off my purse as usual, but he looked so surprised to see me I stopped dead in my tracks.
"Sookie, what are you doing here?"
"What do you mean? I'm working tonight."
"Didn't you get my note?"
"What note?"
"The one I posted on your front door."
"When did you do that?"
"This afternoon. I saw your car wasn't in the driveway, but I thought you'd see it when you got back."
"We must have just missed each other. I headed here straight after going out."
"Well… I got Linda to cover for you tonight."
"Oh." This was awkward. "You didn't want me to come in…" He didn't want to see me. I didn't blame him. For the umpteenth time I asked myself if I'd made the right decision coming clean with him last night.
He must have read what I'd been thinking on my face. "No, Sookie, it's not because of that." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just figured you could use a break tonight, after all the shit you've been going through."
"Oh. Well, thanks. That was nice of you."
"Don't mention it. The least I could do after…" He gestured towards my arm. "How're you feeling? No fever or chills? How's your arm?"
"I feel perfectly fine." I held out my forearm to him. "Look, you can't even see your teeth marks." I smiled at him.
"Thank god." He leaned back against his desk.
His obvious relief confused me. It wasn't that serious an injury. It hurt like a mother, as all bites do, but it wasn't life-threatening or anything. Then it hit me. Sam bit me. In his shifted form. Did that mean I'd become—
"Oh shit, Sam! Am I going to change now?"
"No," he said firmly. "No. You're not going to change, Sookie. It was only one bite, and Eric gave you his blood right after. I'm sure that killed the virus. It's unusual for it to take after only one bite, anyway."
"But Sweetie said…"
"That was different. She'd been in a car accident and had already lost a lot of blood when she was attacked. She wasn't able to clean the bite wound or get any kind of medical attention either. And I'm a true shifter—you're much more likely to change after being bitten by a Were. True bitten shifters are extremely rare. I've never heard of one actually." He patted me on the shoulder reassuringly. "No, you'll be fine, Sookie."
I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "Thank goodness. I wasn't looking forward to turning into… Well, what would I have turned into? A bitten werebloodhound? Half woman, half dog? Oh god, that sounds hideous!"
Sam laughed. "I don't know. You might look cute with a little tail, some droopy ears…" I smacked him lightly on the arm.
We smiled at each other. I was so happy that despite the drama of last night, we could still joke around. That meant I hadn't ruined things, right?
"Listen Sookie, I'm sorry I bit you. I got carried away and—"
I waved aside his apology. "It was my fault. It was stupid of me to grab you from behind. You never approach an angry dog that way, I should have known better."
"Still, I should have kept my cool. I was upset after what you told me in the car, but that's no excuse."
"Don't worry about it, Sam. I understand. I just hope that what I said… that I didn't damage our—"
"Shh, chère. We're good."
"Friends?"
"You don't have to ask me that, Sookie. You know I will always be your friend. I am here for you, no matter what."
I hugged him as hard as I dared to, not wanting to throw him off balance and get his leg hurt all over again. "Thank you, Sam. I couldn't stand it if anything was broken between us."
He smiled at me as I pulled away. "That's never going to happen. I could never stay mad at you for long, even if you'd done something for me to be angry about, which you didn't. Last night was on me."
"Let's not talk about it anymore."
"Okay."
I noticed he was a lot steadier on his feet than he'd been lately, and he wasn't favoring his left leg as much. He wasn't even carrying the wooden cane he'd replaced his crutches with a couple days ago. "Hey, where's your cane?"
He shrugged. "Don't need it. My leg's pretty much back to normal. Shifters heal quick."
"Well, that's good to hear. You're pretty crotchety as an invalid, you know." He smiled at me.
"I know I've been a shit lately. Thanks for putting up with me."
"So I guess we won't need Charles for much longer, huh?"
"Yeah, I think I'll tell him tomorrow that it'll be his last night. To be honest, he couldn't leave too soon."
"You don't like him? The customers seem to."
"They like him a little too much," Sam grumbled jealously. I could see he was miffed by all the attention the flamboyant pirate was getting.
"Aww, Sam, everyone loves you. It wouldn't be Merlotte's without Sam Merlotte, right?"
He cheered up at my words. "So what do you want to do? You and Linda could work your shift together. Or I could call her and tell her not to come in; she might not have left her house yet."
"No, it's alright. She's got kids, she needs the tips more than I do. I'll just head back home."
"Alright then, Sookie. You have a nice night."
I waved goodbye to him and left the office. On my way out, I caught the tail-end of Andy Bellefleur's heroic tale of how he'd single-handedly taken out the serial sniper of Bon Temps. Danielle and the new girl, Jada, stood around his table, enthralled. His girlfriend Halleigh just looked bored. I caught from her mind this wasn't the first time she'd heard the story. More like the seventeenth. I smiled to myself and exited the bar.
I was relaxing on my living room couch just after dark when Eric called.
"So I take it you made it home okay?"
"It was a near thing, but I did beat the sun, yes."
"I don't like how close you cut it."
"I'm fine, Sookie."
"I know, but you could've just as easily been caught mid-air and burnt to a crisp! I don't want you leaving here so late anymore. It's too dangerous."
"My, how the tables have turned."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Eric chuckled. "Nothing. A little joke. But please, continue to worry about me. I like this new concern you have over me."
"I'm serious, Eric. Don't do that again."
"But you're so enticing. How can I tear myself away?"
"Well, then stay the day."
"I'd be delighted," he said immediately.
I snorted. "I bet you would. What do I have to do to make this place light-tight for you?"
"Don't trouble yourself. I'll send Pam over tonight to take care of it."
"Oh, good! I haven't seen her in a while. We'll get a chance to catch up."
He grumbled. "I can only imagine what the two of you will get up to."
"Now, now. Don't begrudge us our girl talk."
Eric grunted his displeasure. "My father always warned me never to leave the women alone together. I didn't think it would take me this long to appreciate his advice."
I had to laugh at that.