You find yourself in a room. It looks something like an old ballroom but for some reason there's only one door. You open the door to hear the wailing of a woman being dragged down the corridor. A ginger cat weaves between your legs, begging for strokes. You scratch the cat behind the ears before - against your better judgement - you follow the fainter sounds of screaming. You come across the now familiar sight of the author, wild hair and crazed eyes with twitching fingers born of endless typing, chaining the wailing woman to the wall of the more familiar dungeon room the author writes in. You back away quietly, before the author sees you and writes you into her story, hearing the quiet mutterings of 'She'll never escape again, will she? Nooo, hahahaha...'
X-X-X-X-This-Is-A-Line-Break-That-Refuses-To-Stick-X-X-X-X
The typing of this was somewhat slower than it could be due to a fussy ginger cat demanding scratchies. Yes, it's another cat, I have five, call me the Crazy Cat Lady if you want but I'm not that old yet and I don't live alone.
Month later added delay note - Yeahhh, the muse escaped - I blame the ginger cat for distracting me long enough to allow her to escape. Anyways, really sorry about the time this took. Cookies to my followers for being patient ^^
Warnings: swearing, 'Kuko, Uber-babble Torture, this fanfic, blood, ninja, necromancers, fighting a boss, If anyone actually reads these warnings anymore, don't bother 'cos I'm sure anything in this fanfic that will scar you for life has already occurred, zombies, I'm just writing a list of things that happen to pop up anyway.
Enjoy.
Chapter 9 - Saboteurs and Change
"Err... Guys, I have bad news." Tweedle Dum shifted nervously from foot to foot, wishing he didn't have to be the bearer of bad tidings. He stopped stalling when a glare from an ice mage was levelled at him. "Our next opponents are Odd Squad, that ridiculously powerful team with the Blood Elf in it."
"Crap." One word from Juuri was all it took to summarise everyone's feelings. The next hour was spent panicking a little over that fact or, in Skye and 'Kuko case, having a secret discussion where the others couldn't hear.
"What are we going to do, we can't beat them, 'cos they have to win the tournament and create Infinite City and if we win that won't happen and it'll mess up the timeline, oooo, we should sabotage the team, secretly of course, but if we somehow disable our members then Prince'll win and the timeline'll be fine, but-" 'Kuko ran around in little circles on the ground half-panicking over the thought of having to sabotage the team without them realising.
"It's alright 'Kuko. Remember Mr and Mrs Feng are Prince's parents and he'll obliterate them anyway. If I just cut myself a little and let Juuri see the blood, he'll faint so he'll be out for the count. Then it'll be six plus two against three plus one, there's no way we could win with those odds, especially if I'm going to be holding back." Venven gently soothed the nearing hysteria demon cat, letting the feline's babble-praise fade into background noise.
The team met up again, a couple of hours before their match to discuss battle plans. 'Kuko's excuse for her still crying state was the fact they were about to fight a pair of bishies and she didn't want to damage them. The team looked strangely between the cat and her owner.
"What? Haven't I told you before? The cat has a bishie complex. Ignore her, she'll get over it... With copious amounts of fish..." Tweedle Dum and the Fengs looked around in horror for the signs of the apocalypse as Skye uncharacteristically trailed off, looking uncertain. The conversation was swiftly turned back to safer topics of battle plans, none of the others realising that all the plans in the world would be useless against the power of Prince's rage and Skye's sabotage.
The Rising Dragons entered the stadium at the same time as Odd Squad, though Mr and Mrs Feng seemed content to just continue their conversation, not seeming to realise they had entered a battleground at all.
**"Kiss me." The pair stood close together Mr Feng looking down at his wife as he made his request, though her attention seemed to be more on the leader of Odd Squad.
"Do you think we have seem that handsome guy over there some place before?" Mr Feng followed her gaze and quickly scrutinized Prince, who was getting ever more irritated.
"Handsome guy? Eh? He does look familiar, could he be our neighbour?" Tweedle Dee shifted subtly closer to Skye.
"Shouldn't we stop them, we kind of need to concentrate on the battle now." Venven looked at the couple - "I have no idea" Mrs Feng answered. Mr Feng shook his head, putting it out of his mind, "Who cares, it's not important." - and had to agree with Dee but there was no conceivable way t stop them, they were too engrossed in each other to notice anything else. Even making Dumu do a monkey dance didn't distract them, though it was a great entertainment factor for the crowd when nothing was happening even when the match had officially started.
- "We should quickly finish this battle and take a flight back home."
"But Hubby," Mrs Feng was unashamedly whining by now, "Once we go home it is no longer just the two of us. You still need to cook and do the housework and you can't be with me. How annoying."
Yet Mr Feng had an answer for everything it seemed, "Don't worry, I've already taught Lanlan very well, I'll ask her to do the housework and I'll accompany you. Wouldn't that be okay? Taking care of a daughter for a thousand days has benefits lasting a lifetime." The pair laughed at their ingenious plan, blind to the rising rage of the opposing team's leader. The two Dragons that seemed to have any sense backed away from the impending disaster. Tweedle Dum was still valiantly trying to attract the couple's attention, 'Kuko effectively distracting him from the oncoming danger, and found himself in the way of Prince's rage.
As per the secret plan, Skye 'mysteriously' cut herself somewhere, so when Juuri turned to followed the logical pair, he didn't get very far, fainting at the sight of the blood. By this point Tweedle Dum was twitching on the floor, soon to be finished off by whoever got to their senses first, 'Kuko running back to her owner, Mrs Feng had been one hit K.O-ed and sent to the rebirth point with Mr Feng being pounded on a few more times before he would follow.
But then came an unexpected help to the plan of sabotage. A crab. Yep, a crab. That was soon pinned under a glare of Doom by Venven, who had had enough of the damned crabs that were everywhere. She chased the unfortunate crustacean around the arena, whacking it with her staff, ignoring 'Kuko's pleas to 'leave Mr Crabby alone'. Finally the crab was caught and squashed into the dirt until no trace remained. Gui took a shot at the ice mage's unprotected back, ending her reign of insanity.
Mr Feng joined his wife at the same time Skye vanished, taking 'Kuko with her. Tweedle Dum and Juuri soon followed, easily taken out from their unconscious/unable-to-move-apart-from-twitching states. Tweedle Dee, once he realised he was alone against six players plus two pets on his own, took the honourable retreat option and surrendered, letting Odd Squad move on to their next opponents whoever they may be and whenever that match would be.
Qiuyue blinked slowly, even though it was semi-intentional, loosing was not something she enjoyed. Saeng-Gang mewled pitifully, begging for food before the teacher dashed off for the first day of the new school year.
Large coffee cup in hand, Qiuyue strolled onto the campus, waving at Gui as she passed his classroom on the way to her own.
Two hours of over-preparation later she stood before her class of graduate students, all of whom were older than her and her false age even if only by a year or two.
"Good morning, my name is Liu Qiuyue and I am your new Chemistry teacher. While I may be younger than you I am well qualified for this position so don't think you can get away with anything in my classes. And with that out of the way I hope we'll get along. The first topic is on Nitro compounds..."
The chemistry teacher stared at the half dead form of Gui in the Health Clinic, wondering what could have possibly happened on the first day to cause such a reaction.
"What happened to him?" Qiuyue directed her question to Wolf-nii, uncertain as to whether Gui was in a fit enough state to answer if she asked him.
"Apparently, he met someone on our team in Second Life but they don't recognise him, so now he's depressed over it." The woman shook her head over the foolishness of men.
"I think he must be mistaking the other person then, he looks far too similar to Guileastos to not recognise him." Tian Lang looked over at Qiuyue in surprise.
"Have we met in Second Life?"
"You may recall an unfortunate incident with a crab yesterday." The pyromaniac looked at her feet embarrassedly, not happy to be bringing up a defeat in casual conversation, especially when speaking to those who beat her. This lasted until Gui snapped out of his funk and started laughing at the memory of the crab chase. He quieted with the help of a fist on the top of his head.
The three settled down for a quiet chat about how the first day went and Second Life. After Wolf-nii gave Gui the idea to ask Prince to clarify the matter, he was much happier and actually able to participate, he ended up giving a rather exuberant description of his day with large arm movements to demonstrate.
Back in Second Life, Mr and Mrs Feng decided to leave the team, babbling about a lot of romantic nonsense which no one actually listened to. This left the others once again with an incomplete team, and a desire to become stronger so as not to suffer such a humiliating defeat again.
Step one of the plan to get stronger came from a rumour Tweedle Dum heard about a really powerful mage's staff, which could be found in the wilderness of the North of the Central continent.
'Why is it always zombies, I hate zombies, they eat brains, I like my brains, I don't want anything to find them tasty, can you kill the zombies for me Tweedle Dum, pleeeeease? I promise not to steal your fish next time, and I'll try not to talk so much for a while, just keep them away, keep them away, keep them awaaaaay...' 'Kuko shot into the nearest tree, scrambling to the top and sitting there shivering, cursing the unholy being that first thought up the concept of zombies.
(In 1929, William Seabrook sneezed as he wrote The Magic Island. The ignored the random act and continued writing *)
The team of four - discounting Ye Terrified Kitty - rapidly cut through the weak hordes of zombies, their number soon reduced to three as Juuri fainted. As they cleared away the last few, they found themselves facing a figure covered in a black cloak, a large hood concealing his face, and a black staff with a spiked ring surrounding a spherical red gem a the top. Tweedle Dum, being the impulsive type that doesn't really think things through enough, saw the figure as another lich, or similar enemy boss, and refused to be cursed again, therefore charged at the figure alone. The other two found suitable trees to bash their heads against at his foolishness.
One concussed - by way of staff-to-the-head - ninja later, 'Kuko was finally convinced it was safe to descend and curled herself around Skye's neck while her other perches were unconscious. The conscious players introduced themselves, including a short but well-endowed girl who had previously been hiding behind a tree. The short girl, a priest with short brown hair and golden eyes, wearing a short, white kimono with red butterflies climbing the side, was called Zhiliao Shi, she instantly bonded with 'Kuko over their fear of zombies, though the girl was nowhere near as bad as the cat.
Skye got on well with the tall man, their lack of tolerance for fools almost equal. He had lowered his hood, revealing long white hair and red eyes, introducing himself as 'Dracomortis, necromancer'.
"So, what brings you two out here? Especially considering her aversion to a certain creature that is rather common out here." Tweedle Dee gestured to Zhiliao Shi, who was too busy playing with 'Kuko to care what was being said.
"I could ask you the same thing," Dracomortis just looked at the demon cat before continuing, "However, we heard talk of a powerful staff belonging to a boss in the cave over there, although the was no mention of what type of staff, or the class of the boss holding it."
"My brother said a mage's staff, though his information is not always the most reliable..." The archer trailed off as he looked at his unconscious brother.
"Why don't we team up, at least for now, as we have a common purpose and five bodies are better than two or three when against a boss." Skye suggested, discounting the unconscious ones as dead weight.
"True enough, Skye. Well, we had best get started then. I've only got a couple of hours until I have to logout." Skye grabbed Juuri by his hair, while Tweedle Dee did the same with his brother but by the arm, and the group shifted into the nearby cave, dumping the bodies in the entance, 'Kuko curled around Zhiliao Shi's neck as the girl gave her very good scratchies.
The joint teams made short work of the low level bat demons swarming in the cave. Juuri woke briefly during the slaughter only to faint moments later from all the blood coating the walls. They eventually made their way into a carved hall with two lines of pillars extending through it, one on each side of the entryway. The boss, a necromancer surrounded by fifteen higher level skeletons, sat on a throne opposite them. A waterfall cascaded down one of the walls into a small lake with a river leading under the far wall, providing a perfect source of ammunition for Skye. Dracomortis summoned his own skeletons to keep the enemy's busy while Tweedle Dee fired shot after shot at the boss, Skye sheathing the arrows in ice to double the combined damage their attacks would do seperately. 'Kuko added her ghostly flames to the mix, while raising an anti-magic barrier across all the rock surfaces to prevent any more summonings while still leaving the water available to Skye.
After ten minutes of intense icy arrows and ghostly fire raining down, the boss finally lost the last of his health. 'Kuko dropped her barrier and let the others quickly finish off the skeletons. They gratefully sat down to recover, the unconscious ones finally deciding to rejoin the land of the living.
"I think you'd best have this, Dracomortis." Skye tossed the staff she had gotten from the boss over to the necromancer, after all a necromancer's staff was little use to a mage. Dracomortis nodded his thanks, equipping the blood red staff with an onyx at the top.
"Dracooo..." Zhiliao Shi sidled up to her teammate, wide eyes pleading before she even said any more, "Can we stay and join their team, please?" While nowhere near the level of the Technique of Doom - The Cute Pleading Kitty Eyes - the little priest's pleading eyes were more than enough to cause Dracomortis to cave in and agree to her request. Before the eyes were even turned on Skye, she agreed to let them join, pleased with the teamwork shown in the recent fight and already feeling the Technique of Doom - CPKE - pointed at her back by 'Kuko.
'Yay, Tweedle Dum, isn't it great, Momo and Chii have joined us, yay! I wonder if they'll give me fish, wait, I know Chii will, she's so nice and gives the most wonderful scratchies but I don't know about Momo, he looks a bit like the type of guy that would leave me starving in the street with a smirk even if I use my Cute Kitty Eyes, I hope he's not like that but I've seen guys like that and he's got the same sort of eyes but he caved to Chii's eyes so maybe he will cave to mine as well 'cos I think my eyes are more powerful but it might just be her he caves to, maybe outside the game they're related and that's why 'cos they look nothing like each other here but they could be very different outside and...'
The team headed back to town before logging out, Tweedle Dum cursing the lich who caused him to be the only one suffering the UberBabble Torture.
**The speech here was taken direct from OddSquadScanlators translation of the manga
*According to my in-depth study on Wikipedia, this is apparently the first book that really introduces zombies, earlier references being more parts of religions
It's finished, yay. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it, hope you have a good day, if not just keep reading, maybe re-read the Halloween Special. Then you'll be, if not happier then at least laughing.
Reviews get cookies. As it's Christmas, all my followers get 'Kuko cookies - any flavour in the shape of a big, winged 'Kuko. But remember reviews get you another XD
Your exhausted-from-that-last-babble-and-really-sorry-for-taking-so-long author
Kouseki
P.s. I've been forgetting this for a while but, this chapter was sponsored by the PlotSeagull - he ate the crab.