Once again, thanks to everyone who reviewed! I apologise for being so horrible to Sam.. but I'm not quite finished with her yet, so I also apologise for the ending of this chapter.

However, I hope you enjoy.

She stayed perfectly still hoping that, despite the presence of Lenny's arms around her - essentially holding her prisoner until he deemed her emotionally stable enough to move, she would be able to open her eyes and the entire morning would have been a bad dream - everything about it. She knew that if anything happened to Dylan, she would never forgive herself for not so much lying but perhaps being economically with the truth nor would she forgive herself for what had just happened.

While she couldn't quite bring herself to leave the warmth of Lenny's embrace, she sincerely hoped that he would understand why she was reluctant to move from the gentle, comfortable position where he had rocked her back and forth ever so slightly in a logical attempt to soothe her fears.

It was when they had entered a complete silence that she allowed herself to attempt to justify her earlier actions - ever since Zoe had forced her thoughts to Dylan and since Jeff and Dixie had frightened her further she had been unable to feel anything other than loss. She had desperately wanted to feel, when she had turned her attentions to Lenny - she didn't care what she felt, she was willing to accept any other emotion. Initially, she had felt the comfort, but when she realised just how unfamiliar everything about Lenny was and just how much he was not her husband, it was guilt that had seeped into her body and it was that guilt which had made her push him away. She reflected that she didn't think the guilt would ever go away if she never saw Dylan alive again and while she didn't believe she would ever be able to justify her actions - even to herself; she was coming to terms with why she had acted the way she had, now holding the belief that she had been completely aware of what she was doing and perhaps if she felt the guilt that would inevitably come then she would know that she was still able to feel.

Lenny's voice broke into her silent refuge a few moments later: "Are you okay?" She nodded, just once, her head still resting against his chest as she did so.

"It's him, isn't it?" She glanced up at the Scottish doctor, trying to establish what she was feeling towards him with the knowledge that he had remained with her despite what had happened between them and how awfully she'd reacted to the entire incident.

"You don't know that…" He trailed off, when he noted that she looked like she wanted to say something.

Keeping his gaze focussed on her, he waited until she felt ready to speak, not expecting what she was going to say: "I'm having his baby."

"Sam?" His tone questioning as he waited for her to expand, which she didn't. "Why have you let him think he wasn't the father?" He pushed her away from his thus forcing her to sit upright so he could look at her properly. He could see the fear that had appeared on her face from the moment that she had opened her mouth to reveal the, much speculated, identity of her child's father as she chewed at her lower lip nervously, as though trying to find the best away to explain her actions.

"Because…" She began and then stopped, hearing the doors at reception crash open again, and she rushed out of the staff room, hopeful, only to be confronted by further heartbreak as yet another unfamiliar patient was pushed by her.

He was still trying to take in Sam's words when he spotted Zoe, which brought with it a whole set of other issues, hastily he scanned the room, in search of a particularly chatty blonde nurse. He found her talking in a hushed whisper with Tom outside Resus. After much debate, he decided he had no time for formalities and quickly, pulled at Linda's arm, as she whispered into her hair: "Small problem…"

"Excuse me?" She turned to look at quizzically, so quickly, that he wasn't certain she was talking about his words or his actions, or both.

"Not here. Staff room, five minutes." With that he departed almost as quickly as he had arrived, leaving her to make her excuses to Tom and hurry after him.

"What? What's so important?" She rushed the words out the moment that she closed the door tightly behind herself, rested her back against it, staring at Lenny as her paced back and forth in front of the sink.

"I was talking to Sam earlier…" He felt himself beginning to speak, unsure of how he was going to word this, and why he had chosen Linda to help him decide what to do with the news.

Her strong accent sounded loudly, as she cut him off: "You looked like you were doing a lot more than talking to her!" She closed her eyes the moment she had said the words, having not originally being planning on revealing that she had witnessed that particular encounter - not until she had much more information on the subject.

He jumped back in alarm, rubbing a hand over his face, as he recalled his earlier intimate encounter with Sam: "You seen that? God, Linda, who have you told?" He closed his eyes tightly as he remembered the look of complete guilt on her face as she pulled away from him.

"No one. Are you the father of her baby, is that why it's all such a secret?" With her arms folded across her chest, the nurse began to speak again, throwing out more unfounded allegations as she did so.

"No. That…" He found himself having to stop her, purely because he'd yet to tell her what he had actually needed her for and also because he could do without people finding out. He paused briefly as he thought about what so say: "…that hasn't happened before. Anyway…" He didn't have the time to debate the ins and outs of what happened between Sam and himself with Linda, so calmly and subtly he tried to steer them back on track.

She cut him off, and approached the issue of why they were in the staff room having a hushed conversation: "Oh, yeah, you had something to say?"

Still unsure about whether or not he should be revealing Sam's secret; he wasn't even sure he would get the words out, but he managed to force out one word, he hoped that would explain the situation: "Dylan."

She blinked in confusion at his one word explanation, before she said "Sorry?"

"He's the father of the baby." He regretted it the moment he said it, as he watched take a few deep breaths, as she tried to process the information before she crossed the room and sat down on the sofa, putting her head into her hands.

She had been walking aimlessly around the department, determined to find a patient she could attend to, but whenever she got close to someone Tess or Charlie had immediately assigned a nurse to the case and waved her away.

She had wanted to refrain from sounding like she was sulking but when Tess approached her just twenty minutes later that was actually what it sounded like. "Let me help." She bit her lips nervously, as she watched the senior nurse smile, and reach out to touch her arm.

"We're fine, why don't you take a break?" She pulled her arm away, unable to take the sympathy and the pitying look Tess wore across her face as she spoke to her. While she was considering what to do next, she heard the older woman speak again: "Let's just go and have a little seat." She couldn't place why Tess speaking so cautiously, until she realised that the only reason she was still steady on her feet was because she was gripping Tess' arms so tightly her knuckles were white. She blinked, trying to remember feeling unsteady enough to reach out like that.

She felt herself being guided away, back into the staff room - as Lenny and Linda exited it, she sunk into the sofa instinctively taking a cushion and hugging it to herself. She was vaguely aware of Tess' presence but she was unaware of what the nurse was doing until she placed a plate with a slice of toast in front of her. Before she sat down at her side, brushing the strands of hair which had fallen into her face from her eyes. "Do you think you could eat that?" She vaguely heard Tess' words but was completely aware that she was already feeling nauseous by the horrific turn of events since she left her house that morning and highly suspected that eating would not help matters.

It was when she let her eyes flutter shut - not because she was particularly tired, but purely to try and block out the morning she had had - she realised that the older woman had not moved her hand from her cheek yet and was still sitting expectantly waiting on some form of response. She shook her head meekly hoping that she was providing an adequate answer. Tess was still watching her doubtfully when she opened her eyes and hugged the cushion she was cradling closer to her chest.

"Why do you try and have a little sleep?" When Tess said the words she knew that on any other day she would without a doubt refuse such an offer, but today she simply wanted to not have to think about how injured Dylan could possibly be, that was if he was even still alive. She bit her bottom lip as she nodded her head, letting Tess move and crouch down to her level as she swung her legs up onto the sofa and rested her head against the arm of the sofa. The older woman one once again, brushed her hair from her eyes and murmured something about being around if she needed her, before she was transported a much more peaceful place.

He noticed she was sitting alone, well more curled up on the sofa in the staff room, when he walked by. When he'd inquired about the blonde doctor about an hour before, Tess had informed him that she managed to get her to agree to attempt sleep some time previously and had been happy to report that the doctor was, for the time being, asleep in the staff room. His eyes flickered around the department searching for a better person than himself to send in and reassure him that the young doctor was alright. When he realised that everyone seemed tied up, he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, as though preparing himself to find her in a distressed state.

He never meant the door to make so much of a noise as he opened it - yet the blonde woman never moved from her position - he couldn't understand the connection he felt to her, it was as if she reminded him of someone; someone who, as yet, he was unable to place. When he sat down next to her, he extended an arm to rub her back soothingly, he considered it a positive sign when she didn't flinch. He gently returned her attempt to smile, he took in her papery white complexion, sad eyes and shaking frame and recalled her looking almost similar to this during the terrifying incident when he believed that he'd never see Zoe again; obviously, she had believed that she had lost her husband, in those moments as well.

She sat upright suddenly, bowing her head slightly, her body still shivering as she took unsteady, shaky breaths and he felt powerless; he may not have been able to work out how to help her, but unlike last time, he was determined to do something. He crossed the room for a moment to pour a glass of water, before returning to her and letting her fall back into the same position before handing her the glass. She sat there, her hand clutching the glass as though her life depended on, though she was lost in a world of her own staring into space.

"Talk to me Sam?" He tried tentatively, as he sat down next to her, again, when he seen that the medic was making no effort to leave her own little world, let alone speak, he began to speak again: "I know you're frightened and worried, but we just need to know you're going to be okay?" He stopped speaking when he seen her nod her head slightly, her hands still trembling as she tried to put the glass to her lips. He raised his own hand to support the glass more as she sipped at the water, grateful she hadn't attempted to prevent his actions when she let her own hands fall from the glass leaving it firmly in his hands.

"I feel sick." Her voice was shaky and timid when she spoke, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to curl up as he shifted to make himself more comfortable, sensing he was here for the long haul.

She'd been watching the staff room, on and off all afternoon - she had seen Nick enter and had noted that he had spent a while in there; she closed her briefly and wondered when they'd know if Dylan was involved and if they hadn't brought him in yet was that because he was dead or because he was uninjured. While her mind was focusing on the internal debate, she did not miss Sam suddenly standing up - her face looking pale and stunned even through the glass - and beginning to pace the room. She noted on her way to cubicle three, now the x-rays were back, that Nick was standing himself determined to get her to sit down.

She passed the job onto Lenny with only the words "cubicle three" for explanation, before striding towards the staff room purposefully and opening the door stepping inside; as she did so, Nick, himself, got up and leave - squeezing Sam's shoulder was the only indication that he gave to either of them that he was planning on leaving.

"Can I sit down?" She walked towards the worried looking younger woman, who seemed incapable of words and she had nodded in reply. As she took her seat next to her, she could see her watching from the corner of her eye, and sensed that she could be in for a long wait before she got any kind of conversation from her.

She watched as the blonde curled herself up, taking a pillow from behind her to hug tightly, as she did so. It was then in relative silence, which was only broken by the blonde's occasional sniffles, that Sam uttered the first words she had heard from her since she particularly ran away from CDU and essentially her - much earlier in the day, "Were you with him last night?" She hadn't expected the question to be so direct, and she considered lying - half wondering if it would spare the younger woman's feelings - instead she found herself nodding. In usual circumstances she felt she'd be confused by Sam's lack of remark, but she did appreciate that these weren't normal circumstances. However, she was pulled from her considerations by a very small voice, she would never believed Sam could've had: "Was it going on when I was in Afghanistan?" She blinked, once then twice and then again.

As she sat trying to process the question, she realised that her reluctance to answer, could be portrayed as avoiding the question. "No." She shook her head and watched as Sam's only reaction was to hug the pillow closer to her, suddenly looking much younger than her twenty-six years. She closed her eyes, mind roaming to the fact that she had no idea when the couple had separated, and as she opened her eyes again and allowed them to flicker over the distressed medic she considered the possibility that the couple hadn't even been in the same country when their separation had occurred. Deciding that this was a conversation for another day, she allowed herself to lean back into the sofa and remain with Dylan's wife- his estranged wife, in silence as they waited on news.

When Dixie knocked the staff room door, Jeff by her side, she'd seen Sam tense and pull herself into an upright position. Her eyes were red and puffy and her face looked raw from the combination of tears which had poured down her cheeks and the frantic rubbing of her cheeks she'd been doing, it had seemed in a vain attempt to prevent the same tears from being noticed. Though when she went to the door, she followed her, and watched as the younger woman tried to escape the department.

As she surveyed the department she noted that everyone looked exhausted, herself, no exception though her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Jeff trying to grab hold of a frantic looking Sam to keep in the one place until he spoke her. "Princess, princess, come here." Eventually, she relented and she could see that Jeff was talking quietly. Despite being unable to hear his words, she noted all the same the way the fight seemed to flow from Sam's body, as her legs seemed to give away and Jeff pulled her against him. She watched as the blonde doctor, remained there, letting herself be comforted as her body shook with tears, and grief, and Jeff continued to murmur words into her ear. She felt her own eyes fill with tears when she caught sight of Dixie looking on, sadly, before she moved to rub Sam's back gently.

"Zoe…" Hastily, she wiped a hand over her face, though upon realising it was Linda who was trying to gain her attention, she waved to her indicating Sam and Jeff, who had yet to move.

"Is he…?" The nurse trailed off, seemingly unsure how to word her question.

"I don't know. Did you want something?" She returned her attention to Linda, who now appeared a little less sure of herself.

"Erm, yeah, I think I need to tell you something." She indicated the empty staff room as she stopped talking, before walking there leaving Zoe to follow her.

It just seemed like quite a good place to leave it..

so yeah, same time and place next Tuesday.

Anny x