I own nothing.

CHAPTER TEN

More Mistakes

A month…. that she was how long she was back together with Jasper before the whole thing blew up in her face once again.

It had been a normal night. No reason to think that something was about to go wrong. Jasper was at work and Emmett was out with Rosalie. She had gone over to Jasper's house after work to spend the night. She was sitting watching TV thinking that yeah maybe she should move back in. She had only been home to get clothes since her and Jasper had gotten back together. She was already basically living there anyways and it would save a lot of money on rent and gas that was for sure. But there was still that small part of her that thought what if it doesn't work?

She knew that wasn't the way she should be feeling and how could she ever be committed to this relationship if in the back of her mind she had one foot out the door with an emergency exit plan.

It was time to either put all the chips in or fold.

It was during that thought that the doorbell rang and she went to answer it wondering who it could be.

"Is Jasper home," asked the small dark haired little pixie standing on the other side of the door.

"No," Bella announced thinking who are you and how do you know him?

"Is he at the club?" she questioned in a too high baby voice that grated on her nerves instantly.

"Who are you?" Bella demanded.

"Who are you?" she asked with an attitude as if they were standing in opposite spots right now.

"I'm his girlfriend," Bella shot back thinking 'I don't know who this chick was but I'm about to punch her in the face'.

"Oh…." she announced giving Bella the once over before saying, "I guess I should say thank-you. He wanted to be with you so bad that he paid me off very nicely. Oh yeah, I'm Alice the wife," she fucking giggled and it took all Bella had not to slap her.

"Ex…in fact he got the whole thing annulled so you really never were his wife," Bella hissed through gritted teeth. It was taking everything in her not to slap her just for what she put Jasper through. Not to mention what she had put her through.

"You can look at it any way you like but what Jasper and I shared didn't end when we signed those papers. Now did you say he was at the club? He left his watch the last time he came to see me. I know he must be missing it," she told her with a smile that showed what a bitch she really was.

She tried to stay calm. She tried not to freak out and jump to conclusions. It was not easy. All she could think was why did she have Jasper's watch? Just a few days ago he had commented that he had lost his watch and needed to get a new one. She had planned to surprise him with a new one.

Before she could let herself freak out she had to talk to Jasper. She had to hear what Jasper had to say not what some bitter ex-whatever had to say. She grabbed her keys and headed over to the club. She parked next to his car and then the shaking started as she took the stairs to his office. All she could think was even if he has to lie to me please let him tell me it isn't what I think.

Even though she had the keys to the door she knocked and waited for him to open and tell her everything was okay. It was almost like if he was doing something she wanted to give him a chance to cover it up. How wrong did that sound?

"Hi," she said with a hopeful smile but as his eyes darkened her smile faded.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and she knew. She knew that he was hiding something from her. The guilt was written all over his face.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I wish you would have called first. I'm in a meeting right now," he told her and she knew he was lying to her. It was confirmed when she heard a familiar too high baby voice call, "Get rid of who ever it is and get back in here."

Right then she should have just left but she had to know once and for all the truth. She pushed her way in pass Jasper and came face to face once again with the girl who had ruined everything.

"I should have known you would come running over here making sure that Jasper was behaving himself. Unfortunately he was. It is okay though saves me the trip back over to the house to give you these," she announced handing Bella a stack of pictures. She glanced at the top of it which was Jasper with a girl.

"When Jasper and I were going through the whole annulment thing like you like to say he was not being so nice and I decided to help out my case. I hired a PI to follow him and get as much dirt on him as he could. As you can see I got my money worth. Some of the girls were before he came here as shown by the date on the photos. But a visit here not too long ago by my PI caught him with not one but three or four different girls when I believe he was suppose to be with you," Alice informed her with a demented little smile.

"I told you that I would get you back for not giving me that money. What was a few more thousand considering what you already gave me," Alice informed him as he just stood there not believing this bitch had ruined his life once again.

"Get the fuck out…NOW," was all he could say as murder entered his mind.

"I'm going. My work here is done. You really thought that you could change him. You thought that he loved you but Jasper loves no one. Not even himself. You'll thank me for this someday," she told Bella as she left thinking Jasper might not have given her the money but she had gotten a lot more in pay back.

There must be at least twenty pictures there with just as many girls. Like Alice had said most of them were from before Bella knew him but some were from when they had broken up. One was even from the night of Jasper's accident.

"Bella…" he said fearing the worst.

She just turned and looked at him like she didn't know him. Disgust was what he saw in her eyes. Without her saying anything he knew where he stood.

"That was all before you and when we were not together. I have never ever cheated on you or even thought about it," he told her pleading his case but it was too late she had reached her decision.

"You think that matters. Well it doesn't. This makes me sick. You make me sick," she yelled throwing the pictures at him and they fell around him as his sins rained down on him.

"Let me explain…" he asked but he honestly did not know what to say to her.

"I gave you that opportunity. I asked you when we were getting back together if there had been anyone when we were apart and you lied to me. You looked me in the face and lie to me again. How could you do that to me? After everything you had done to me I still loved you and forgave you…for what? To be used and lied to. You are a horrible human being. You never loved me and I wish I never loved you," she screamed at him running down the stairs.

She waited for the tears to come but they didn't. Only anger filled her. He was right he hadn't cheated on her in the sense of the word but to her he might was well have. The haunting images of all those nameless girls with him flooded her mind making her sick to her stomach.

It was over. She was too in love with him to stay there and die a little everyday wondering if today was the day he did cheat on her. The thing was he probably wouldn't think anything of it considering it was clear sex was not a big deal for him. Just thinking about him with other girls made her want to throw up.

What else had he lied to her about? Promises meant nothing to him. He had sworn that he would never tell her another lie as long as he lived. How long had that lasted? God she once again started questioning everything he had ever said and did. Damn him!

She didn't bother to go back to the house to pick up the few random things of hers that had made their way over there. There was no way she could walk back into that place knowing there was nothing left there for her. Her dreams, her innocence, and her heart were all laying scattered around in the house built on lies.

That night as she lay alone in her own bed once again waiting to break down yet she didn't. She was sure that when he called in the bleak hours of the night that she would for sure wipe tears from her cheeks but nothing came even when she heard his voice begging her to pick up and let him explain. She turned off the phone, closed her eyes, and thought as she drifted off that she must be in shock or something.

Five phone calls later and Bella still had not called him back and Jasper realized that she had enough. She didn't care what he had to say. She was through with his reasons and excuses. An email hours later told him that he had been right.

Jasper,

I know that I should be doing this in person but I really couldn't think about facing you right now. Looking at you right now would just be too painful so forgive me for doing this like this.

I wanted to believe that the fairy tale I was living when we started dating was going to last this time. But I guess I always knew that there was no real fairy tales anymore and the evil witch paid me a visit better known as your ex. I really wanted to hurt her but realized that she wasn't to blame and killing the messenger wasn't going to change the message. Then I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Thinking about you in the arms of those other nameless girls was too much for me to bear. How could you make love to someone other than me? I know that we were broken up but that didn't stop me loving you but maybe it did for you. Or maybe you never loved me at all. Because I believe that if you loved me the way you claimed you did you would have never been able to touch those other girls the way you touched me. Then you lied to me about it. You know how much that alone would hurt me. I have always been honest with you.

I had a simple dinner with a guy and the guilt ate at me feeling like I was betraying you but I still told you because I did not want that between us. That was how much I loved and respected you. The same can not be said for you.

That was when I knew I couldn't be with you anymore. I could never look at you again without thinking about the fact it was so easy for you to slip into the beds of those other girls. It so easy for you to look at me and lie.

How could you? How could you think so little of what we had? How could you think so little of me?

It is over. It has to be over. I can't be with you anymore and I don't want to love you anymore. I finally realized the fairy tale never existed. No happily ever after for us.'

He pushed delete on the email thinking that would make it all disappear but the reality of it was he had fucked up again and she had really left him.

How was it that he kept hurting her? How did he keep making mistake after mistake? He must be some kind of masochist. It was as if everything in his life wasn't royally fucked up he didn't know how to react. And now he had gone and done it again. She had left him and this time she would not be coming back. He couldn't blame her.

When she was with him, everything was okay. He was the person that he wanted to be. Loving her made him better. She gave him purpose and direction and the times that she wasn't with him, like the life he led before he met her and the time she had left him he just messed everything up. Now she was gone again and he knew where his life was heading again, nowhere.

He picked up the phone to call her and it went straight to voice mail. He wasn't surprised.

"I got your email. I could make up excuses but what is the point? I messed things up again. That is what I do best. The sad thing is they really did mean nothing to me. You called them girls with no names and that is exactly what they were to me. I never made love to them. I never touched them like I touched you. It was nothing like what we shared. There was no love involved only sex. Maybe that makes it all the worse. I want to beg you to forgive me and give me yet another chance but even I know I don't have the right to do that. I love you. I will never not love you. I want you to know that when I was with you I was only with you and that when that was I was a better man. You made me so much more than I ever thought I could be. I wish you could say that. I really went and fucked this up. Damn…" was the last thing she heard as the message stopped.

Two days later when flowers showed up at her door she was sure that they were more from Jasper but as she sat down the roses she was surprised to find that another boy had sent them.

"I am and I think I did… Edward." That is what the card said.

"What the heck is that suppose to mean?" Angela asked when Bella told her later that day at lunch.

"I was hoping you would know," she said. She was yet to call him not knowing what he had meant by his flowers and card. Besides that she didn't know what to say to him. She hadn't talked to him since that night they shared a meal. That had been a lifetime ago to her.

"Well I would think it means something good considering it came with flowers."

"Flowers are sent to a funeral too you know. I mean I really don't know what to say to him. We haven't talked in weeks and he has no clue about my brief getting back together with Jasper."

"Keep it that way too. It was just a moment of temporary insanity and you shouldn't be punished for that. I'm just glad that you are finally done with that creep. I think every girl goes through that bad boy phase and he was yours. And just like you, they all find out that you can't really ever change them. Enough about him," Angela told her like talking about him left a bad taste in her mouth, "So what is the game plan with Edward?"

"Game plan?"

"Yeah, game plan. You can't just sit back and hope that things turn out like you want them to, especially when dealing with a guy. They need direction and guiding in the way you want them to act. Think of it was training a puppy," Angela informed her with a laugh.

"I don't know why guys are always compared to dogs because from my view point dogs are so much more loyal than guys and yes you can train a dog but men not so much," thinking that Jasper needed a leash and a choke collar.

"So true my friend so true…"

She thought that Edward would have called her by now considering that it was the next day and she was yet to call him to thank him for the flowers. She felt horrible for blowing him off but she still didn't know what to say to him and still didn't when she finally did call him that night.

"I was wondering if you were going to call," Edward said to her his voice light with happiness.

"I'm sorry. I just had a lot going on. Thank you very much for the flowers. It was very thoughtful of you and they were gorgeous. I have to admit that I still don't quite understand what the card meant," she told him.

"It was my cleaver way of telling you something. If you find out what purple roses mean then you will get what it meant."

"You know you could just come out and tell me," she said, walking over to her computer and goggled the meaning of purple roses.

"It is more fun this way," he told her, "How about I take you out somewhere? We haven't gotten to see each other in awhile and I'll admit that I missed you. We could go see a movie," he asked.

"Okay," she agreed even though her heart wasn't into it. Her heart was never going to be in it though. Kind of like going to get your flu shot but you still did it.

"I'll be over in about thirty minutes," he told her hanging up as she clicked on the link to see what purple roses meant.

He smiled at her as she opened her door and she melted a little. She didn't want to like him but it seemed impossible not to want to be wrapped in the warmth of his eyes. She wanted him to look at her and make her forget. But that wasn't fair to him. It wasn't even fair to her.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Do you have your heart set on a movie because I was hoping that we might stay here and talk," she asked him.

"If that is what you want."

Once he was in there sitting on her couch, she wished that they had just gone to the movies. She wasn't ready for this. She felt like she couldn't breathe.

"You look so serious."

"I looked up the meaning of the purple roses and well…"

"Well…" he said and thought that he might have made a mistake putting it all out there to her so soon.

"I don't know quite what to say. I mean…," she said getting up to pace the room.

"I meant it all. I am without a doubt enchanted by you. It is like you cast a spell over me and as hard as I try to tell myself that you are not over this guy and you are not even wanting to get to know me I find myself still captivated by your smile and so many other little things about you. As you might have noticed, I didn't call you for a few weeks. I told myself to leave you alone and if you wanted to see or talk to me, you would contact me. But you didn't and though I know I should have took the hint I could not stop thinking about you and so I thought I'll try one more time and I'll make sure I tell her what I am feeling and if she blows me off or shots me down well at least I tried and I will know. Hence the flowers and yeah I think maybe I did kind of fall in love with you that first random night at that party that you should have never been at. I'm not saying that I'm in love with you but something clearly happened to me when we met. I know that you have issues with a guy that you are still working on and I understand that. I am not asking for anything other than a chance. Let me in and get to know me. We can call it friends for now and we will see what comes from it. Do you think that you want to do that?" he asked her and thought there was a real chance that she would turn him down.

He could see her struggling with the demons inside of her left from this other guy who claimed to love her. He had never really loved her he knew but she was only starting to figure that out. It would take time he understood for her to realize he had really done a number on her. No one you love should hurt you like that, especially your first love.

"I don't really think that it is fair to you to ask you to stick around and be my friend hoping that in time it will be more. I feel so messed up right now that I don't know if I will ever be whole enough again to give to you what you need or want," she explained to him thinking that the man who she thought was her savior was more like her destroyer.

"Let that decision be left up to me. You have been completely honest with me letting me know that you still have issues with an ex and that you are not ready for another relationship right now. I am walking into this without blinders on. The thing is I have high hopes when it comes to you, me, and us. I believe in second chances and love after lost. Neither of us comes into this pure and untouched by the past whether it is lovers or other people. I want you in my life and I honestly think that you might need me in yours," he explained to her wanting to be the man who made her smile again.

"I guess if you are okay with how things are right now than the least I could do is give you a chance. No promises though."

"Deal. You know we can still catch that movie…"

For about a month everything went as she hoped with Edward. He kept his word and was being her friend and not pushing for them to go down another path. The thing was she felt herself slowly letting go of Jasper and the pain that he caused her and letting herself think; maybe. Maybe love was giving her a second chance.

It wasn't that she had stopped loving Jasper since she doubted that was something that was ever going to happen but she had at least found a way to move forward knowing that she loved him but that being with him was not in her future. You can love someone more than life and they still are not the person you are meant to be with.

Plus she found that as hard as she tried to keep things light with Edward and be just friends it was becoming more. She found herself thinking about him in other terms. He was so sweet and nice. He was really laid back and always had a smile on his face. And he was very funny. He made her laugh all the time which like they say was the best medicine.

She was not over Jasper or in love with Edward but she thought that maybe one day both could happen. Maybe one day she would stop being consumed by this unnatural desire for Jasper and maybe then she would wake up and realize that she could and did love Edward.

Then it happened. She got what she thought was the flu but when three days later she was still throwing up she went to the doctor. They confirmed what she feared, she was pregnant. She was going to have Jasper's baby. Instead of joy it felt like a very cruel joke. It was the worst thing that could happen to her. What was she going to do? Why had this happened now?

All her hopes of a second chance with Edward were over. Her need to have Jasper out of her life for good and forget the past was gone. She had to tell the both of them that she was pregnant and she didn't know which was going to be harder.

"What is wrong?" Edward asked her a few nights later when he showed up at her place. She had blown him off when he called the past two days and he had taken it upon himself to just show up. That was kind of his way.

"Everything…" she moaned. All she wanted to do was hide. Hide from him, hide for Jasper, and hide from the life growing inside of her.

"Is this about us? I thought that things were going really well between us so if there is something that I don't know I would like to."

"This was going perfect and that is what makes this all the more horrible. You have to understand that I never wanted this to happen. I never planned for it to happen and yet it still did and there is no changing it," she told him as she tried not to cry.

"What is going on? You are talking but not saying anything," he told her and knew as his heart sunk that something was really wrong and she was about to say something to him that was going to change everything for them.

"It is about Jasper kind of," she explained.

"When are you going to get over that guy when all he did was lie to you and betray you? I can't conceive why you would give one more thought to him. Why are you even thinking about him?" he questioned and thought when is she going to see this guy for his true colors. How many times is he going to break her before she lets him go?

"I don't even know how to tell you this other than just say it. I haven't been completely honest with you. Those few weeks we didn't talk or see each other after we had dinner it was because I got back together with Jasper," she told him feeling lower than low. She was no better than Jasper, "I wasn't over him and had to give us another chance. I had to know if we could make it work this time. We couldn't. When I left I left it all behind," but that was just another lie she was telling him and herself. She was never truly going to be free of Jasper, especially now.

She watched as his eyes widened and she knew it was the last thing he ever expected to hear. It was breaking her heart to see his disappointment in her. He got up and moved away from her pacing the room. She could almost see him withdrawing away from her. It was already over before it ever begun. She couldn't blame him.

"Listen I know that this changes everything and I don't expect anything from you. I just have to face it that sometime there is no happy ending. Some time evil wins and the good guys don't ride off into the sunset with the girl," she said and started building another wall around her heart.

"I have to go," he told her and she was surprised when he sailed out the door before she could even tell him about the baby. She guessed it didn't matter now anyways. She knew he had just walked out of her life.

Four days later Edward hadn't called her and she hadn't talked to Jasper. She understood now that the first wasn't going to happen and the second needed to.

She had to be a big girl now and face what she had let happen and what needed to be done. This wasn't something that was going to just go away. Time wasn't going to fix this.

It was early evening when she drove over to the club. She was going to wait until he was home but that also meant waiting until Emmett wasn't around and she couldn't wait anymore. She might chicken completely out if she did and relocate to the North Pole.

Her knock was soft but he somehow heard it and went to the back door to his office. He knew that it was going to be her before he even opened the door. The question was why was she there?

"I need to talk to you," she told him when his eyes met hers.

"Come in."

She walked in and she saw clips of her past all around. This place held a lot of memories and it was sad to relive the happiness since now there was only sadness.

"How have you been?" she asked not knowing how to tell him. She could not even look at him. The pain from before was still right there on the surface. It had never went away. It never was.

"How do you think? You will never know how my life has been without you and how much I've missed you. Do you know how hard it was for me to finally admit to myself that you were not coming back? Once I did though there has been no real reason to wake up in the morning."

"I look in your eyes and I see the storm that rages and I understand now that you are a man full of demons. Too many demons for one man. I can't believe I never saw it before. You are not the person that I thought you were. You're not the answer to my dreams and my price charming. You have somehow became a villain who stole my life," she told him as if she was seeing him for the first time. She had wanted him so bad to be her happy ending that she never looked inside the book too closely. If she had she would have seen all these things.

"I'm no saint but I'm no villain either. I'm just a man that has made mistakes and yes have demons that were only ever vanquished when I was with you," he explained to her as he longed to reach out and touch her. The sweet alluring smell of her perfume drifted through the air crushing his lungs but he still breath deeply.

"I can't make things better for you. You have to deal with whatever is raging inside of you making you the person that you are. The alcohol and the women are just ways of you covering up what is really going on. You have to do it for yourself and you need to do it for your child," she let slip out and her tears once again. It all felt so wrong. She knew it sounded horrible but she didn't want to be here telling Jasper that he was going to be a father. Not like this, not now. Once she thought it would have been a dream come true but now like everything else that involved him it was a nightmare.

"What are you saying?" he asked grabbing her arm and forcing her to look at him.

"I said that you are going to be a father. I'm pregnant. I finally realized that the way I was feeling wasn't the flu," she said and saw him staring at her, "I'm about nine weeks or so."

"You got to be kidding me? There is no way…," he half yelled and she could smell the booze on his breath. He was pretty close to being drunk.

"I honestly wish I was but I'm not. Here are the results," she said handing him the paper from the doctor.

He looked it over and she could see that he realized that she really was pregnant. Then he said the most horrible, hateful thing anyone had ever said to her.

"Are you sure that it's mine?"

Without thinking she reached back and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. The imprint of her hand was visual on his cheek which gave her a moment of satisfaction.

"What was that for?" he dared asked holding his face.

"How dare you even imply that there was even a chance that this wasn't your baby?" she screamed at him.

"Hey I'm not the one who has been hanging out with some other guy. Rosalie told Emmett that some guy has been coming around to see you at the store. How do I know that he isn't the father? How do I know that he isn't the reason that you left me?" he demanded.

"I can't talk to you. I can't even look at you," Bella hissed as she ran towards the door. She was on the second step when Jasper caught up to her grabbing her by the arm.

"Take your hands off of me. You make me sick. God only knows that I wish you were not the father of this child. You are going to make a horrible father," she let him know trying to pull her arm away from him.

"Bella, for the love of God stop. I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said. Just come back inside so we can talk," he pleaded with her.

"I hate you," she said tugging hard on her arm until she pulled it free. In doing so, she lost her footing and felt herself tumbling down the stairs. The last thing she heard was Jasper screaming her name.