As Due and Chewkindy flew at top speed (5 mph), Chewkindy tried to win her point of helping the Black Ribbons fight the Faculty.

"Gwee-ahk-kree-waag-wah," she argued, as the Millenium Penguin cruised toward the Main Office.

"It's not our problem, Chewie. Just forget it 'cause it ain't gonna happen." Hanna stubbornly replied.

The wookie sat in silent thought for a moment before muttering. "Gohr-nee chee-kay."

"Chewy!" gasped Hanna. "I can't believe you just said that to me!"

"Oh, sh-grah!" exclaimed the short one, as she pointed desperately ahead of the desk.

The hallways were congested with frantic students who hadn't witnessed the chaotic scene in the Auditorium. Seniors, Juniors, and Freshmen were running out of their homerooms to get to class.

"Alright, look," sighed Hanna, turning to her co-pilot. "We'll wait 'til lunch and if things haven't calmed down by then, we'll see if we can help. Maybe we can transport some Sophomores to a hide-out..."

"NO! LISTEN TO ME!" Chewkindy, apparently forgetting her native language, exploded in a frenzy of pent-up frustration. "By then, it might be too late! We have to help them NOW!"

Hanna sat blinking for a few moments, surprised at her comrade's outburst. "Okay, Chewie. I'll make a deal with you. How 'bout we wait upstairs in the hallway until the fighters arrive?" She suggested, hoping to calm down her friend before receiving a bite.

"Gwah." Chewkindy consented after thinking this over for a few seconds. "Mah, chee-no chee-kah rog wah?" she asked hopefully.

"Yup," Due smiled dangerously, reaching into her pocket to withdraw a handful of Pixie Sticks. "I'm packin'!"

Meanwhile, Anakina, Chii-3PO, Kar-2D2, the freshman from the Cantina who had played the trumpet, Vienna Sausage, and Princess Gretchen broke into the Chemistry Lab to execute the next part of the operation.

"Alright, bring it in!" Anakina whispered, waving in the rest of the group.

Princess Gretchen dragged behind her a plank on wheels. She had "borrowed" the dolly from the school's well-paid maintenance crew.

The group loaded up the dolly with folding fighter-desks for the rebels who had not been able to make it to the Chem Lab to get a desk. Once they had all that could fit on the plank, they each took a desk for their own and (tying the dolly to the princess's desk with some of her yellow rope) flew back to Room 30.

Once the group was back at the base, Queen Lizidala gave orders to the Sophomores.

"My brave classmates," began the queen, pride visible on her face. "We have awaited this day for a long time, a little over eight months actually. Some of us may be given detention, some of us may be suspended. But if we win this battle (or at least run away before they catch us), none of that will matter anymore! Now get out there and kick some Faculty ass!"

A loud cheer went up in the tiny room as the rebels ran to their folding desks and prepared to fly off.

"Well, Gretchen," Lizidala strode over to meet the princess with an approving look on her face. "It appears that...Uh, Gretchen? What are you doing?"

The princess had pulled two computer speakers from her over-packed book bag and was attaching them to her CD player, all safely fastened to her fighter-desk. "We need some cruising music, don't you think?"

"Uh, sure. Whatever floats your boat," The queen turned away to inspect the other flyers, thinking "She's certifiable".

But the princess didn't notice this as she pressed play and took off with the other rebels, head-banging to the beat of the Hippos' "Wasting My Life".

As the rebels flew toward the Main Office and the co-pilots of the Millennium Penguin sat near their lockers, there was much activity in the Faculty Lounge.

"How many cheerleaders did we lose?" Darth Bolger was pacing the length of the room.

"Twelve, Your Excellency," Lieutenant Moran replied, trembling.

"What I don't understand, Jenny," continued Bolger, becoming angrier by the second, "Is how a bunch of rebel Sophomores can outsmart a Faculty. Bring in the captain of the Pom Squad!"

At this command, Moran opened the door to let in a skank with a fake orange tan.

"Ah, Commander," Anyone present could see that Bolger had thought of something, and was going to make sure someone paid for the small defeat of the assembly. "Please, answer me this question."

"Of course, Dean." Replied the skank.

"Dammit! It's Darth! Stop calling me Dean!" After this outburst, the 'Darth' quickly collected her composure. "I mean, thank you. This is what I want to know-Just what exactly is your average for this marking period?"

The cheerleader stood gaping for about five minutes trying to calculate her average. Seeing that the Darth was becoming impatient, she suddenly remembered. "Umm, it's like a D, Your Scariness."

After rolling her eyes at this new title, Bolger replied, "I find your lack of IQ disturbing." Then, she turned to Moran, "Kick her out with the rest of the cheerleaders. We can handle this on our own."

Back in the hallway, Hanna continued to sniff her Pixie Sticks while Chewkindy looked on.

"Hey, Chewie. You know what's weird?" Due was obviously in her own little world. " 'No' means one thing and 'yes' means something totally different! Doesn't that just blow your mind?"

"Guh, wah," the co-pilot rolled her eyes.

There was a commotion as classes let out for the early lunch. The bounty hunters noticed (or at least Chewkindy noticed, for Hanna's senses weren't what they should have been) that, once again, the cheerleaders were congregating outside the Faculty Lounge.

The wookie-girl growled.

"I think you're right, Chewie," whispered the red-faced Due. "Something is smelling John."

"Not 'smelling John'!" replied Chewkindy in a harsh whisper. " 'Going on'. Something is going on."

"O-o-o-o-o! I get it. Yeah," Due burst out into a fit of laughter.

Fed up with her partner's high, Chewkindy reached into the desk's storage basket and pulled out a tumbler. When Due's face lit up as the aroma of coffee met her nose, the wookie tossed the tumbler to her.

After taking a big gulp of the magical formula, Due was her old self again.

"Alright, let's go kick some skank ass!"

Just then, the rebels arrived in their fighter desks.

"Well?" Anakina had pulled up next to the Millennium Penguin. "Are you gonna fight?"

"Gur-wow!"

"Damn straight!"

Vienna Sausage caught up to the group just then. "Where's the princess?"

This was apparently a good question, as no one knew the answer.

"We can't go into battle without the princess!" Anakina began to panic.

Everyone's worries were soon calmed when Gretchen showed up.

"You're not going to believe this," she panted, scooting her desk up to the others.

"Try me!" everyone dared in unison.

"Bolger raided my locker!" continued the princess. "She took my rope and my yarn, and even asked me who I was going to hang! She took my blazer too, no doubt so that I'll get detention at the next assembly."

"We don't have to worry about the next assembly!" the queen had just arrived with the freshmen. "As long as we bring down the Faculty and their clone skank-zombies! Now, let's go, Black Ribbons!"

The Faculty Lounge was buzzing with activity. Bolger had sent out a squad for fighter desks and they hadn't returned yet. The anxious dean was now stereotypically pacing back and forth, as usual, awaiting the missing squad.

Suddenly, the captain of the cheerleaders crashed into the room. "Your Creepiness!" she groveled.

"What is it?" Bolger snapped crossly.

"There weren't any desks in the Chem Lab, but--"

"What!" the disciplinarian was furious.

"We suspect the rebels of stealing them, sir--I mean ma'am--I mean--"

"Shut up, you little flake!"

"Sorry," the skank continued her story. "We got some other desks though, maybe you should take a look.


* * *


"What the hell are those?"

The dean was now surveying the desks in the Main Lobby, each manned by a cheerleader. The desks were quite the opposite of those now held by the Rebellion. The skanks had stupidly found the largest, clumsiest desks in the entire building.

"They're the desks we'll use in the fight," answered the captain, seeing nothing wrong with the hall-craft.

"Where...did...you...get...those?" the dean asked, pronouncing each word slowly and quietly so there would be no misunderstanding.

"In the Senior Wing."

Darth Bolger's curses were not heard by her army, for at that moment they were drowned out by the sound of fighter desks approaching.

"Crush them!" ordered the dean. "The Black Ribbons must be destroyed! But, Captain," she added in a low voice, "I want Gymcutter unharmed. I have plans for her."

And with that, every skank took off at a top speed of 2 mph, charging the rebels. The rear was brought up by Bolger, who wanted only to corner Anakina, and reveal her dark plan.