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Chapter 9: A Father's Love

"Home sweet home!" Sokka cheered as Appa landed in the courtyard. The red in the horizon was slowly fading into deep blue and everyone was eager to get off Appa. Kameko sat on Kunai's shoulders, her head nuzzled in Kunai's hair. Kunai yawned as she slid off Appa.

"I'm gonna show you your room, okay, Sweetie?" She took Kameko to the room across the hall from hers. It was smaller than the others, the walls painted a soft red and lined with tiny flames. A porcelain doll with rosy cheeks, black hair and a long red silken dress stood atop the dresser with a perpetual expression of pride and content. A deep and brilliant pink canopy hung over the bed and as the light came through the window and filtered through the thin fabric it cast a pink haze across the room.

Kameko gasped. "This is my room?"

Kunai giggled as she lifted Kameko off her shoulders and set her on the bed. "Yep. It's all yours. And Mama's room is just across the hall if you need me. Now it's time to go to sleep."

Kameko crawled up to the headboard, curling into a ball as Kunai tucked her in. Kunai leaned down and kissed Kameko's forehead.

"I love you, Sweetheart."

"I love you too, Mama."

Kunai's heart swelled. She gave her daughter one last kiss before standing up to leave. As she walked out she noticed a glass vase perched on the dresser. If Kameko was playing she could easily bump the dresser, knock over the vase, and get cut. She picked the vase up with every intention of leaving. However, she noticed a wobbly side table that was just the right size for Kameko to try to climb. She knelt down, trying to figure out how to level the table, then finally decided it was easier and safer to just remove the table all together.

On further inspection, she found three nails in the floorboards that could easily trip a young child. The bed was high off the ground, which meant Kameko would hit her head if she rolled off, and the large dresser had small legs and was top heavy.

"What are you doing?" Zuko walked in, a bit confused as to why Kunai was lying on the floor looking under the dresser and holding a vase.

Kunai looked up at him. "Child-proofing."

"Why are you on the floor?"

"Trying to see if I can get the legs off the dresser."

Zuko narrowed his eyes for a moment before shaking his head. He offered her his hand and helped her up. "She's not going to knock the dresser over, Kunai." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

"Okay, fine," she said. "But do you think you could help me move it out then because-"

"Kunai," Zuko interrupted. "Calm down. She'll be okay."

Kunai sighed and dropped her head on his shoulder, letting out a self-deprecating chuckle. "Am I pathetic?"

"Well you… I mean you can be-"

"Is that a yes?"

"I guess?"

"You suck."

Zuko looked down at her. Seeing her smirk, he laughed and kissed her. "I want to show you something."

Kunai frowned up at him. He took her hand and began to lead her down the hallway. As she realized they were going to his room, Kunai's heart began to pound. She stopped and pulled back. "Zuko I-"

"I got you a birthday present."

His spoke softly and hesitantly, and his eyes flickered to the ground. Kunai couldn't help but smile, reassured that his intentions were innocent. She continued with him to his room and he immediately went to the dresser, digging through the drawers and trying to remember where exactly he had shoved the present. Kunai sat down on the bed and lay back, letting her eyes drift clothes as a wave of fatigue fell over her. I'm not gonna fall asleep, she thought.

"Here they are! I thought you would-"Zuko stopped when he turned around to find Kunai deeply asleep. He walked over to her and shook her by the shoulder. She hummed quietly and rolled over. Zuko sighed and put the arm bands on the side table. He slipped her shoes off and placed them beside the bed. He slipped the blankets out from under her and draped them over her, tucking it around her neck how she always slept. As an afterthought, he put the armbands on her. He kicked his shoes off and pulled off his shirt, laying on top of the blankets on the other side of the bed and falling asleep.

Warm. Everything was pleasantly warm. A familiar scent wafted through Kunai's nose as she surfaced from her dreams. A fog clouded her mind as she struggled to break through into reality. She opened her eyes. This isn't my room, she thought in confusion. She tried to remember what had happened yesterday when a husky sigh resonated in her ear. Hot breath tickled her neck and an arm tightened around her waist.

She stiffened and sucked in a sharp breath. Zuko was in bed with her. She was in bed with Zuko. She closed her eyes and tried to stay calm. She had all of her clothes on, and they seemed to not have been tampered with. Everything felt normal. She remembered being pulled into his room, lying down on his bed, closing her eyes, and then nothing.

If she hadn't felt so stupid, she would have laughed. She'd fallen asleep in bed and he'd lain down next to her. Slowly, she relaxed and sighed. His grip was firm, his warmth encompassing, and his heartbeat calming. She rolled over to look at him. She gently ran her finger over his parted lips, the tension absent. Smiling, she stroked her hand across his jaw and to his cheek, tracing his scar. It fascinated her. It always had. She'd seen worse scars. Ping, one of her earthbending teachers, had one eye and a dent in his head. Lily, in charge of reconnaissance, had burns all up her body up to her neck. They were badges of courage, reminders of their goal. They were stories told around campfires. His vague explanations- that it had happened during an Agni Kai, that he got it when he'd gotten banished- puzzled her, but she tried not to push. She'd never seen him so distressed except when she'd tried to push the issue.

She wrapped her arm around his ribs and leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Zuko's eyes shot open, and he let out a squeak of surprise.

Kunai pulled away. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

Zuko shook his head, blinking and trying to wake up. "N-no. That was just… a really great way to wake up."

Kunai blushed and looked away. "You kind of surprised me when I woke up."

"Sorry about that. I tend to gravitate to the warmest thing around."

Kunai shrugged and snuggled closer to him, burying her head in his chest. "It's fine. It's actually kind of nice."

Zuko smiled and kissed her on the head. "Did you notice your armbands?"

Kunai frowned up at him and looked at her arms. Her eyes lit up. "Agni! These are beautiful!"

"Happy birthday," he said with tender hesitance. Kunai looked up and him and, without warning, flung herself at him, knocking him onto his back. "Zuko, you're amazing!"

Zuko laughed in surprise and held her tight. Kunai leaned up to look at him. "I love you."

Zuko smiled and cupped her cheek. "I love you, too."

Her smiled softened as she leaned down and kissed him deeply, pressing into his chest. Zuko hummed and ran his hand up and down her side, tracing memorized curves. With his other hand he tilted her head back, trailing kisses onto her cheek and down her throat, nipping the taut skin. Kunai let out a quiet, breathy moan. "Z-Zuko…" she started, worrying her lip between her teeth.

Zuko pulled away, looking her in the eye. "Do you want me to stop?"

Her first instinct was to say yes, but her heart began to overcome her instinct, and she realized something. Crico's touch had been violent, evil, an invasion of everything she was. It had been meant to make her suffer, to break her. Zuko's touch was always gentle and loving. He kissed her to make her smile and sigh and moan. He'd never hurt her on purpose, and she was sick of treading lightly in fear that he would. Crico had already destroyed her life. She wouldn't let him destroy her relationship. "No."

He smiled and continued, kissing and sucking on the nape of her neck.

Kunai whimpered and closed her eyes. "That feels…really good."

A chuckle rumbled low in Zuko's throat. His hands continued to explore her. One hand stayed tangled in her hair while the other traced her back, drifting lower and lower.

"Mama! Mama where are you!?"Distressed cries came down the hall. Kunai sighed and dropped her head on his shoulder before rolling out of the bed and opening the door. Kameko wandered through the hall, dragging her doll along. Kunai sighed and scooped her up onto her hip. "I'm right here, Baby Girl."

Kameko poked out her lip and crossed her arms. "You weren't in your room."

"I'm sorry, Sweetie. I didn't mean to scare you."

Kameko wrapped her arms around Kunai's neck. "I'm hungry!"

"Let's go see if breakfast is ready." She turned to Zuko who was leaning against the wall. "Coming?"

He smiled and came up behind her as they walked out to the courtyard where the others sat in a circle, eating rice and discussing their plans.

"Morning," Kunai said, taking a seat.

"So what's the plan for today?" Zuko asked as he sat next to her.

"Kunai and I should train," Aang said. "When I was in the spirit world, I met a spirit named Takeo. He told me that you were my greatest ally and we need to learn to work together. He said that I should guide you in the spiritual and you should guide me in my bending."

Kunai nodded. "Guess we can't ignore that."

"Great! There's this spot out on the beach where I can teach you how to meditate," Aang said with a bright grin.

Kunai groaned. "I can't leave Kameko by herself."

"I can watch her for you," Zuko said.

All eyes shot to Zuko. "Really?" Kunai asked.

"Sure. You two train for the rest of the day. I'll take care of it."

Kunai gave a small, private smile and leaned against him. "Kameko, you get to stay and play with Zuko all day. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Kameko nodded and mumbled around a mouthful of jerky. Kunai chuckled and wiped Kameko's face with her sleeve. "And are you going to be bad, or are you going to behave?"

"Have!"

Kunai laughed and kissed Kameko on the head. "I'll see you later, Baby Girl." She looked up at Zuko and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

"Bye, Mama!" Kameko called as Aang led Kunai off to the beach.

"The monks used to say that meditation is the key to success. Plus, going into the Spirit World can be really cool."

"I don't know if I could actually get to the spirit world," Kunai said. Agni knows I've tried.

Aang waved his hand. "Don't worry about it. You're like a second Avatar!"

Aang continued talking about the basics of meditation, deep breathing, and spiritual and inner peace for the rest of their walk which ended in a small cavern carved into the cliff-side. The water rushed over the rocks, creating a constant white noise and spreading salt into the breeze. Nothing could be seen from the crevice but ocean. The two sat next to each other, cross-legged.

"Now. Just clear your mind and breathe evenly."

"So…" Zuko started awkwardly, standing in Kameko's room.

Kameko ran to her toy bag and retrieved a tattered rag doll in old-fashioned Earth Kingdom robes. "This is Lee. He is a king. You play with Lee," Kameko instructed, thrusting it at him. Once he took it she scrambled onto the bed and grabbed Lala. "Lala loves Lee, but Lee doesn't love Lala."

Zuko sat next to the little girl, turning the doll over in his hands. "Why is that?"

Kameko sat the doll in her lap and began twisting its hair into knots. "Because Lala is a firebender," she said simply. Zuko's eyes widened but he didn't say anything, letting the little girl continue. "Lee doesn't like firebenders. But I like Lala."

Zuko sighed sadly. It didn't take much thought to figure out where her mindset had come from. Growing up as a firebender amongst people who hated her couldn't have done her any good.

"Have you ever seen firebending?"

Kameko nodded. "Yep. I saw a mean man burn a lady once. And sometimes I make sparks."

Zuko sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. His heart sank in his chest. His people had taken over this village, forced it into their own creation. They had twisted this little girl's mind. He had to make up for it. "Do you want to see some firebending?"

Kameko shied away, shaking her head. Zuko leaned down to her, offering a small smile. "I promise I won't burn you, okay?"

Kameko thought for a moment before nodding. "Okay."

Zuko smiled and held his hand out, creating a small flame. His fingers twitched as he manipulated the flame into the shape of a heart, dancing and jumping in his palm. Kameko beamed at him, an awestruck smile splitting her face. He couldn't help but smile back at her. He molded the fire into stars, bouncing them around his fingers before squelching the flame in her fist. Kameko squealed and clapped her hands, bouncing up and down.

"Can I do that? Can I try?"

"Not yet. You'll have to practice a lot before you can do this. If you'd like, though, I can teach you some firebending."

"I wanna learn how to firebend!"

Zuko smiled and ruffled her hair. "All right. We'll ask your Mom when she gets back."

Zuko couldn't remember any time he'd laughed so much. Maybe it was because he'd gotten stuck under the bed during hide-and-seek or maybe it was because Kameko gave him a lecture about the proper voice to use for Lee, but he'd been laughing for two hours straight. He had clips and ribbons stuck in his hair. Kameko had said it was too messy. The task of watching a rambunctious toddler had been daunting but he'd never had so much fun in his life.

Even with all that in mind, he was exhausted.

He sat on the bed, Kameko nestled in his lap, watching her rock her doll in her arms and hum a lullaby. When she was satisfied Lala was asleep, she set her on the pillow. She looked at Zuko, narrowed her eyes and then smacked her hand onto the left side of his face.

"Ow! Kameko, why-"

"Mr. Zuko, what's this?"

Zuko froze. He'd never told the complete story of his scar, only lies and dismissive explanations. His shipmates never asked, and anyone who ever dared to ask had been attacked. The only people who truly knew had been there or had been brainwashed by propaganda. He couldn't even come up with the words to explain it to his girlfriend- how could he explain it to her child?

"It's my scar. I got hurt," he said, closing his eyes. He stiffened as she poked and prodded the scarred flesh. He wondered what kind of monster he was in the eyes of a three-year-old.

"How'd you get hurt?"

"I got burned by a very bad man." He kept his eyes shut, waiting for her response when he felt lips press against his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Zuko."

He looked at her face, full of innocent sympathy. He covered her hand with his. He tried to conjure a smile to cheer her up, but his heavy heart would not allow it. "It's okay, Kameko."

Kameko relaxed back into him, resting her head back on his chest. "I'm sleepy."

Zuko hooked his arms under her armpits to put her on bed. She squealed in response and lifted her arms up, sliding out of his grip. "No. I want you to stay with me."

Zuko sighed and laid back, holding her firmly on his chest. "Okay, Kameko. I'll stay here until you fall asleep."

"Zuko? Zuko."

Zuko groaned as he began to awake, bright purple eyes awaiting him.

Kunai smiled. "Hello, sleepy head."

Zuko began to sit up when she waved her hands for him to stop. "Wait, wait, wait. You'll wake her."

He looked down at the girl curled up on his chest, secure in his grip. He was almost reluctant to let Kunai take her from his arms. Kameko mumbled incoherently, still asleep. Kunai held her on her chest for a moment, whispering in Kameko's ear and patting her back until she relaxed once more. Kunai gingerly laid the girl down on the bed.

Zuko scrubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. "She, uh, wanted me to stay with her while she went to sleep."

Kunai put her hands on his knees and leaned forward, just inches from his face. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Zuko narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"That you watched a toddler all day for me and did a pretty great job." She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. "She should be out for the rest of the night. Come on. Dinner's ready." She took him by the hand and led him outside to the courtyard.

The group began to snicker when they saw the pair.

"I like your new hairstyle, Zuko." Katara chuckled. Zuko flushed, suddenly remembering the clips and bows stuck in his head. He frantically ripped them out, trying to ignore the laughter. Kunai nudged him with her hip, giving a smile that promised their laughter was well-intentioned. He sighed and sat down in the circle, taking the bowl of rice from the center of the table.

He looked over at Aang. "How was training?"

Kunai and Aang shared a glance before Aang sighed. "Well, we did make a lot of progress on our bending," he said with false optimism.

"But as far as spiritually, we're not going anywhere," Kunai said. "I don't think we ever will. You two should start back your training tomorrow."

"It could just be we're both spiritually blocked. I don't know what chakras you're having problems with, but I'm pretty sure mine have to do with killing Azula." Aang dropped his head and sighed.

"What are you talking about? You didn't kill her," Zuko said with a scowl.

Aang looked up and shook his head. " I hit her with a fireball from the ship."

"But I saw her get hit. I thought…" He dropped his head into his hand, shaking his head in disbelief.

"So I guess we both killed her. So it's almost like neither of us did?" Aang said to himself, thoughtfully scratching his head.

"How is it like that at all?" Zuko snapped.

Aang shrugged. "There's no way we could possibly know. We both hit her, so I guess it doesn't matter whose fireball killed her."

Zuko sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, turning the idea over in his head. "Yeah… yeah I guess you're right," he mumbled, not wanting to argue.

The rest of the meal continued quietly, a few conversations sprinkled throughout. When they were done, Kunai took Zuko's hand. "Can we talk after I check on Kameko?"

Zuko nodded and followed her to Kameko's room. Kunai smiled at the sleeping child and readjusted the blankets, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She turned back to Zuko and motioned him to follow her and went to her room. They sat next to each other on the bed. Kunai wrapped and arm around his shoulders. "How are you feeling?"

Zuko sighed and dropped his head into the crook of her neck. "Confused."

"Can I tell you what I think?"

Zuko gave a quiet grunt of agreement.

"You did nothing wrong and this proves it. Aang had the exact same instinct you did."

"I know. I feel a little better, but at the same time, I just don't know."

Kunai grazed her fingertips across the base of his neck and kissed his forehead. "It's okay to be confused."

They stayed in comfortable silence for some time, wrapped in each other's embrace. After a few minutes Kunai sighed. "Zuko, I wanna show you."

"What are you-" He cut himself off as he look at her face, downturned, her lips pressed into a thin line and eyes squeezed shut.

"Are you sure?"

Kunai nodded and began to roll her pant leg up. Her hands quaked, but she'd already made her choice. She pushed the fabric to her upper thigh and dropped her head, unconsciously tracing every scar with her finger.

Zuko stared in shock. He'd assumed there would be a few light scratches, not gashes fitting of a war story. He tried to imagine how anyone could harm themselves to this magnitude. He couldn't.

In front of over a hundred warriors, a thirteen year old girl stood, her puffed out chest and strong jaw opposed by the tears dripping down her cheeks. "Tonight, we honor a great warrior. He wasn't just the Great Dragon," she said. "He wasn't just a warrior. He was our friend. He was my brother."

She slid up her sleeve, pointing to a bright red dragon on her shoulder. "I got this without knowing he would die in two weeks. But I'm glad I did. I will remember his strength, his passion, his inner fire, his power, and his grace."

She closed her stinging eyes. "That's how he would want to be remembered. Tonight, we celebrate my brother." She raised her glass and her head, looking up to the sky. She'd be there with her brother soon. When she could slip away from the memorial and into her tent, she would go there with him.

"To Gorou!"

"I started cutting when I was thirteen, after my brother died," she explained. Still not making eye contact, she held her wrists out to him.

"I attempted suicide four times. Slit my wrists twice. The tattoos cover up the scars but you can still feel them." She glanced up.

Taking the invitation, he grasped her hand and ran his thumb over her wrist. He could feel the scar tissue, stiff and irregular. Deep, violent cuts. He drew away and she dropped her arms, a ragged and shaky sigh tearing through her throat.

"I tried the first time the week after he died. I cut one of my wrists and my friends found me before I bled out. Everything got worse after-"

"You don't have to say it," he whispered.

Kunai nodded. "I cut a lot while I was pregnant, but I didn't try to end it again until after she was born. It was a week after she left and I was still really weak and sick. My friends had left all the medicine in my tent, and I'd gotten drunk and taken them all. I passed out and threw up in my sleep so I didn't overdose. The second time was on the anniversary of my brother's death. I slit both my wrists like this." She ran her fingers from the base of her palm up to her forearm. "You bleed out faster that way. I barely got through that. They found me without a heartbeat. One of my friends was a waterbender and somehow, they got me through. The next time was actually a few months before we met. I drank myself numb and took a bunch of random medications and cut my wrists. I really don't know how I made it that time, but I did. After that attempt failed, I realized I had to change. I stopped drinking and doing drugs, and I stopped cutting. For a while."

She pointed to the newest scabs. "These are from when we first got here, and these are from the South Pole."

"That recent?" Zuko whispered.

Kunai shrugged. "I felt so guilty." She forced herself to sit up straight and rolled her pant leg down. "I need to stop," she declared, mostly to herself. "I have to take care of my daughter and stop punishing myself."

"But?" Zuko asked, hearing the distant and rehearsed tone.

She was silent for a moment, not trusting her voice. When she'd managed to compose herself, she said, "It's hard. And scary."

Zuko put a finger on her chin and turned her head to look at him. The moment she met his eyes, she fell over the edge and collapsed into his chest. Zuko held her tight, cradling her quivering body.

"Y-you don't know how much I need you now," she choked through her sobs, gripping his shirt. Zuko looked down at her in surprise, but didn't question her words. He buried his face in her hair and let her cry until her sobs subsided and turned to hiccups.

"I've never told anyone this," she whispered hoarsely.

"I haven't told you enough," he replied.

Kunai sniffed and looked up at him, the tiniest smile on her tear-striped face. She stroked his cheek with her knuckle. "It's not a contest, stupid." She lay back on his chest and sighed deeply, holding him around the stomach. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Do you want me to?" he asked.

"Yeah. I do."

Hey guys! A little info and it's really important.

1. We're 3 or 4 chapters until the end of this installment and we'll be starting the next and last part of this trilogy!

2. I need help for a name for the last installment. Something fun and nice and light hearted...

did you actually fall for that?

Nothing i make is lighthearted. MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA

3. I'm so happy for all your suports guys and i cant wait for some more reviews and fanart and drabbles and adds. Love you guys!