Disclaimer: I am not the owner, author, killer or fan club president of Harry Potter.

If I Did It, Here's How It Happened

Harry Potter has been found dead in his godfather's ancestral home, 12 Grimmauld Place. A team of investigative medi-wizards has discovered that all symptoms of murder have either been magically wiped from the body, or did not occur at all, meaning that the Avada Kedavra Curse was performed on the unfortunate Boy-Who-Lived. The Auror Investigative Discovery Supply Force, or AIDS Force as it is known among popular culture, has narrowed the suspects down to a small list of Harry's friends, family and enemies, and will be interviewing each thoroughly. Each suspect has, of course, denied the murder of Mr Potter, and has written below their excuses, and if they had killed the Chosen One, how they would have done it.

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SUSPECT FILE TEN – GINEVRA MOLLY POTTER

Birth Name: Ginevra Molly Weasley

Aliases: Gin

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Allegiance in the War: Dumbledore's Army and the Order of the Phoenix

Ginevra Molly Potter's statement is given below:

Hi, hi! Sorry I was late. Got caught up in the Floo Traffic, and…

Oh. My. God. They've actually let you back in the ministry? Laughter ensues.

OK, now seriously, Umby, what did you want me for? Oh, yeah, right. Forgot about that whole Harry Potter murder thing. Heard about it on the wireless the other week, you know the Celestina Warbeck news hour? It's right after the Celestina Warbeck singing hour, six-thirty weeknights…

You what?

Me?

Kill Harry Potter?

Not bloody likely. I mean, he's my husband! I, um, love him.

No, Professor, I would not have any motive for killing him. Unless I was having an affair and wanted him out of the picture, or he was having an affair and I wanted revenge, or I wanted the millions of galleons in his Gringotts vault, that is.

And I will furtively deny any reason you throw at me in the Wizengamot. However, seeing as the Ministry obviously sees it in its best interests to have all interviews with its AIDS force in a broom closet even Rita Skeeter would frown at, I am fairly certain that here will have to do.

First up: my affair – not that there is one! I vowed to Harry on our wedding night that I would always love him forever and ever. He told me to shut up and kiss him, so being the complying girl I am, I agreed. Of course, you will note that he never made such a vow, which leads me to believe that:

Two: he had an affair. I'll bet my house that it was with that skank Hermione Granger. She never could get enough of him. Wouldn't even come to the wedding – something about washing her hair…

Thirdly – the whole money thing. I would never, ever, need to kill Harry to get his gold. It was agreed in the prenuptials that I would be given access to his vast inheritance… not there's much left now.

But the real main topic of conversation is Hermione Granger. Have you talked to her yet? I'm sure she'd know who did it because 1) she's such a brainbox, and 2) it was probably her. I was in fact outside her flat the afternoon before you say Harry died, when I heard noises of a sexual nature coming from the top floor bedroom. I couldn't be sure it was Harry, but before I could check up I had to go to a potions convention with the youthfully handsome Draco Malfoy. He'll assure you I was with him the night Harry was tragically taken from us, not cursing the cheating traitor into oblivion.

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A/N: At current I have two or maybe three more characters from canon to interview before I get started with the reasons you, my wonderful reader/reviewers have submitted. However, I am still needy of more, so send them in via the blue/grey box at the bottom corner of your screen.

Myrtle the Tyrtle

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