Disclaimer: Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.
Author's Notes:
Even I hated myself for that cliffhanger, but in my defense, that is how the episode ended…
Also, with the holidays coming up, I'm not going to be able to update for a bit so apologies in advance! I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and epic Revival binge-fest!
Fifteen and Sixteen
Sometimes, she had a feeling that someone out there was hell-bent on keeping her unhappy in her love life. First, she had Christopher who left once Rory appeared. Then she had Max, who she had to leave because of Rory, and now she had Luke, but Christopher's sudden appearance in Stars Hollow threatened that as well.
It felt uncomfortable having him at the house – and she only agreed to it because Rory asked – and it was even more uncomfortable trying to sound positive to Rory about Christopher's presence, all the while trying to set up her daughter for the possibility of her father leaving yet again. And when he made a comment about her shower, she tried hard to temper her annoyance, and worked even harder to sound normal while Rory was in the room. But as soon as Rory left, she immediately started grilling Christopher about his true intentions for showing up out of the blue, and wasn't believing anything he was telling her.
She tried to make nice through dinner and the rest of the evening, but just couldn't get past the feeling of uneasiness swirling in her stomach. Thankfully, she had work the next day, so used that as an excuse to go to bed early, ignoring the comments Christopher threw her way about getting soft in her old age.
The next morning, she was able to sneak out of the house without talking to him, and was grateful for Sookie asking about what was going on because it gave her the opportunity to verbalize her conflicting feelings. She had to admit, it was weird having Christopher in the house. It was like he was just kind of shoehorned in there, and while it was nice to have him around, it didn't feel right. Something felt off. But then he would smile, and it was…Christopher. As much as she wanted to paint him out to be the bad guy for ditching her and Rory, she did have a history with him. He had been there for everything when she was growing up, and that was hard to ignore. He was her first love, and it was always difficult to forget a first love – especially when there was continuing communication over the years.
There was also that small part of her that really wanted him back in their lives permanently – to be the family they should have been – but lately, that small part seemed to be less and less sure.
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, and after checking a final guest in, she announced her departure, and headed into town to meet Rory and Christopher at the diner. Rory had called earlier to say she had taken Christopher to the softball game, and was then going to take him around town to show off all of her favorite spots – one of which was definitely the diner.
When she entered, she noted Luke busy with a few other patrons, so instead sat herself at a table close to the window so she could watch for the rest of her group. Cesar brought her a piece of pie and some coffee, and she settled in with her book.
A few minutes after she finished eating, Luke's voice cut through her thoughts, and she looked up from her book towards him as he refilled her coffee cup, before noticing the serious look in his eyes.
"So Rory was at the game today."
"Oh yeah."
"Yeah, she was with some guy."
She knew what he was hinting at, and deep down it felt good, because it kind of seemed like he was jealous. Maybe Christopher being in town might be the push Luke needed to ask her out. However, she couldn't let him off the hook and voluntarily answer the unspoken question, so instead, she pointed out the obvious. "Dean."
"No, I know that punk. Some older guy."
Yup, he was definitely curious as to who Christopher was. "Oh, that would've been her dad." She flicked her eyes down to the plate he cleared from her table.
"Really? So that's uh…"
"The guy who impregnated me with Rory – yes."
"Oh, well, he did a good job."
"Impregnating me with Rory?"
"Now this has taken a very weird turn."
"Yeah."
As Luke scurried away from the sudden awkwardness hovering over them like a wet blanket, Rory and Chris walked in and sat down with her. However, even the prospect of having a nice meal with them at the diner was quickly thwarted when Emily called and informed her that Christopher's parents would be at Friday night dinner that week. That singular phone call managed to put a dark pall over the rest of the day and week. Nothing could be enjoyed, and she tried to spend as much time at the Inn as possible. At least there, she could interact with people who knew nothing about her past, and accepted her as who she was today.
However depressing the week was, it did fly by rather quickly, and before she knew it, she was standing in front of her parents' front door, absolutely dreading everything that was beyond it. It didn't help that Christopher was standing next to her, oozing the same dread she felt. Mercifully, they beat Straub and Francine there, which allowed her to throw back a few martinis to mellow out the anxiety freely flowing through her body, and steel herself for what was to come.
But she didn't have enough martinis in her to prepare for just how bad the evening would be. First, there were the awful introductions. Then she tried to deflect the negative attention from Rory, but that only upped the tension in the room, and placed the negative attention on her. She was used to it however, and could have painfully sat through it, but then the negativity was put back on Rory, and while she quickly pushed Rory out of the room, the unthinkable happened. Her father jumped to her defense and kicked Straub and Francine out of the house. She was left standing with Christopher, shell shocked, and unsure of what to do next.
When she realized her parents weren't coming back to the sitting room, she excused herself from Christopher, and went to find her father. Of course, he was in his study, and for the first time in her life, she finally thought he was being a real father to her – coming to her defense. But then he explained he wasn't defending her – he was defending the Gilmore name – and he really did agree with Straub, and felt Lorelai had been selfish in choosing to run away with Rory. When he essentially kicked her out of the study, she felt the hot tears begin to stream down her face.
She had to run. She had to get away. However, there was no way she could jump in the car and split, because she had two passengers when she arrived, and knew she needed two when she left as well. So, unable to run, she decided to hide, and went to the place she hid all those years she was forced to live in the house – on the balcony off her bedroom.
God, how had this night gone so wrong? Christopher's parents were never the greatest people in the world, but never would she have thought they were capable of being like this. And worse yet, how could her father be that cold towards her? She knew their relationship wasn't the best, but this new revelation of his opinions about her was a new low, even for them. The window slid open as quietly as it ever did, and she carefully climbed through it, crawled to the far corner of the balcony, and sat down, hanging her head in her hands as the tears began to flow. Nothing good seemed to ever happen in this house, and worst of all, tonight Rory was the brunt of the disappointment. Normally, she was the recipient of those feelings of disappointment, but never Rory. She always shielded Rory, but tonight, everything had gone horribly wrong. And it was all Christopher's fault. If he hadn't come to town, then he wouldn't have come to Friday night dinner, and his parents definitely wouldn't have been there either.
But how could anyone see Rory as a disappointment? It baffled her. And it destroyed her. She needed to get up and get Rory out of there. They needed to go home, and have some quality time together. Maybe they could go see a movie, or throw an impromptu party so that they could be surrounded by those they loved. But they couldn't, because Christopher was around. He would want to be involved in whatever they did tonight, and on one hand, he did deserve to be a part of their celebrations. It wasn't his fault his father went off like he did, and she couldn't rationally hate him for his parents. Because if she did, by that logic, she should hate herself.
And then her cone of silence was broken by Christopher. He found her in her hiding spot, but then, how could he not? Like they reminisced, they spent a lot of time together hiding out on that balcony. Most of those times in their past, there was a bottle of tequila, and that powerful elixir was a big part as to why Rory even existed. So when Christopher pulled out a bottle of tequila, she found herself falling into memories of the past – far from the disaster of the current evening.
When his lips touched hers, for a brief second she was transported back to those nights when they were teenagers, and with the tequila warming her blood, all was right with the world. But when her shirt rode up ever so slightly and the cold stone touched her bare back, reality slammed into her like a freight train. Suddenly she was stone cold sober, and remembered where she was. She wasn't a teenager with her boyfriend. She was an adult, and this most definitely wasn't the man of her current dreams on top of her. It was all wrong. There was no facial scruff rubbing against the sensitive skin of her face. There was no faint smell of burgers and coffee. There was no soft flannel brushing against her stomach. None of that was there, because Luke wasn't there, and she knew this wasn't right, so she slipped her arms between her and Chris, and pushed on his chest. "Chris, stop."
Her words didn't seem to be getting through to him however, and he pressed his lips to hers once again. So again, more forcefully, she pushed against him, and wriggled out from beneath him a little. "Christopher!"
He stopped, and looked at her quizzically. "What's wrong?"
"I just…"She pulled herself fully out from under him, and leaned her back against the stone wall, looking at him, and seeing the confusion in his eyes. "We shouldn't be doing this."
"Why not?" He sat back on his heels, resting his hands on his thighs.
"Chris, come on. This cannot happen between us. And it definitely can't happen here, now." She looked at her watch. "Besides, we should have left already." Not even waiting for his reaction, she stood up, brushed herself off, and pushed past him to climb back through the window. As soon as the warm air of her childhood bedroom hit her, she felt sick to her stomach. Nothing about this evening was going well, but at least for once in her life, she had been able to resist Christopher, and she forced herself to hold onto that one positive.
During the car ride home, not much was said, but there was a brief moment when she and Christopher had to dance around Rory's questioning of where they had disappeared to that evening. Once home, all she wanted to do was to escape to her room, bury herself under her covers and let sleep overtake her so this day could be over. However, she first needed to make sure Rory was ok, and once she was satisfied her daughter had made it through the evening relatively unscathed, she quickly escaped Rory's scrutiny of the dirt on her from the almost-mistake on the balcony. But when she noticed her reflection in the mirror, she was disgusted at herself and decided a shower was definitely needed before she went to bed.
She tossed and turned throughout the night, unable to sleep because there was a weird feeling gnawing at her stomach that kept making her blood run cold. However, she couldn't put her finger on what it was, and kept turning over, hoping sleep would eventually come.
As the early morning light started streaming through her window, she finally gave up on sleep, and started to really think about what happened the night before. She had almost slept with Christopher. Once again, he sucked her in to his aura. All he had to do was smile and she was dazzled, instantly forgetting everything bad he had ever done to her and Rory. It was just like with Max, but Max dazzled her with his wordsmithing. Both were just as bad. And both men never seemed to really enter her mind until she was in their presence. It wasn't like with Luke, where she thought about him all the time. It was thoughts of him that stopped her from making a horrible, horrible mistake the night before. It was thoughts of him that helped her through the rough parts of any day. It was…her blood ran cold once again, and she sat up and gasped as her mind finally wrapped around why she had that gnawing feeling in her stomach all night. Luke. She had stood up Luke. Oh, god. "Oh no! No, no, no."
She flung the blankets off of her body, and ran down the stairs, shoving her feet in a pair of Uggs, and shoving her arms into a jacket, not even processing she was still in her pajamas. She ran down the street towards the diner, praying he would forgive her. Praying he would be there so she could throw herself at his feet and beg for that forgiveness. The cold air bit through the flannel pajamas, but she didn't care. All she cared about was seeing Luke.
When she arrived to the diner, she noted it was still plunged in darkness, which wasn't surprising for the early hour of the morning, but when she saw everything pulled off the walls, and tarps draped across the tables, she felt sick to her stomach, and was grateful she hadn't eaten anything yet, because if she had, it would have definitely made an unwelcome reappearance. She reached above the door for her key, but her fingers grasped only air. The key was gone. That knowledge had her retching, and she again was thankful she hadn't eaten. Instead, she dropped to the stoop, willing to sit and wait for him so she could grovel.
When he appeared in front of her, rather than the door opening behind her, it threw her a little, but she ignored the question in her mind of where he was coming from, and instead jumped to her feet, not even waiting for him to speak. "I feel horrible."
"Don't."
The disappointment in his voice made her want to cry. "I stood you up and I didn't even call."
"It's ok."
"I'm a rat. We had a date and I stood you up."
"It wasn't a date, it was just a paint."
"I'm a rat, I need cheese." God, why did she always have to say such dumb things when she was nervous? Sometimes her defense mechanism worked horribly against her.
"Forget it."
The finality in his voice rattled her. It was as if he was telling her to forget everything that had happened between them, and she started bouncing on her feet, pulling at his sleeves. "Hey, hey, let's reschedule."
"You know, I really didn't even want to do it in the first place."
Suddenly, it felt as though he was alluding that their painting together was going to be the initial shift in their relationship to something more, and now that she had screwed it up, he was shutting down that option, and it was making her frantic. She needed to save this. She couldn't lose him. "No, no come on, don't change your mind. We could do it tonight, or…or right now."
"Was it an emergency?"
"Yes. You would not believe what happened. I slipped and I busted my..." She didn't know what she was doing. She couldn't lie to him. It would only make this worse. "It wasn't an emergency. It was just me being a rat."
"Something came up?"
"Yeah."
"Something…someone."
He was assuming things of her, and she wasn't sure how to take that. "Luke."
"Am I right?"
"Nothing happened."
"Yeah, ok. Well, I'm late."
When he pushed past her into the diner, he didn't even act like he wanted her to follow, and she barely squeaked out an, "oh," as he closed the door. When it closed, she felt as though everything she and Luke had been building together for weeks had just shattered, and it was all her fault. Tears started to fall, and she rushed away, not wanting Luke to see her cry. She needed to fix this. She needed to fix what she and Luke had, but she couldn't do it here. She couldn't do it now. Now, she needed to go home, and sort out what to do.
As the front door closed behind her, she could hear movement in the kitchen, so made her way there. The scent of coffee hung heavily in the air, and made her feel sick to her stomach. Then seeing Christopher standing there offering her a cup made her feel even worse – especially when he immediately wanted to discuss the night before. She couldn't handle it, and pointed out just how bad it was, and how awful it was she had stood up a friend. How she had stood up Luke.
When Christopher said her name, stopping her mid-rant, she had a brief moment when she hoped he had come to his senses, but then he asked her to marry him, and she felt like she was going to cry. The argument about what a family was came up, the argument of what band was better came up, and the argument of their decision 16 years ago came up, and suddenly, she needed coffee. What she really needed was a stiff drink, but the sun was still coming up.
He said he was ready. He said he wanted to be a family, but she knew. Deep down, she knew, and when she grilled him about his business and he confirmed how unreliable it was, she knew. He wasn't ready, and she couldn't do this. She couldn't be that person for him. He might think she was his soulmate, and maybe at one point that might have been true, but they were very different people now, and she had a very good feeling that Christopher was not her soulmate. Someone else out there was.
However, she begged Chris to not leave them forever - Rory still needed her father. But that was all the energy she had for Chris at the moment, and thankfully, he took the hint and informed her he was leaving that day. She watched as he walked out of the kitchen to shower, and let out a huge sigh.
After she and Rory waved him away, she went back to bed. Finally, her exhaustion was overpowering, and she needed to be able to stay up all night. She needed to apologize to Luke, and knowing him, he would not accept a verbal apology, so she wanted to get the diner painted. That would be her apology.
So late that night, after the town had gone to sleep, she snuck up to the diner. She noticed his truck was gone, and made a mental note to ask him the next morning where he spent the night, but for the time being, she had a diner to paint. However, as her fingertips brushed against hard wood and nothing more once again as she reached for her key, she panicked. How was she going to get in? When headlights illuminated the diner, she froze on the spot, knowing she was fully, and completely busted, and was already working up a plausible explanation when she realized the headlights were connected to a delivery van.
Not one to pass up divine intervention when she saw it, she bribed Luke's bread guy to let her in, and as he loaded up the pantry with the shipment of bread, she set in for a long night of painting. After a few hours, she had to open the door to let the fumes disperse, until the cold air made her shiver. But still she painted, and continued until her arms started shaking from exertion, and did the final broad strokes. She dropped her roller in the tray, and stood back with her hands on her hips, taking time to admire her work. Not soon after, she noticed him walking up to the diner, and greeted him with a wild grin on her face. "Taa-daa!"
"How'd you get in here?"
"Your bread guy let me in."
"I'm switching bread guys."
Ignoring him, she followed him around the diner as he inspected her work. "What do you think?"
"I think you shouldn't break and enter."
Exasperating. "So what do you think?" She watched as his eyes slowly swept across the diner, taking everything in.
"Well, I gotta admit…it looks pretty good."
She placed her hand on his chest in glee, but quickly removed it once she realized what she had done, and not wanting to admit how much her heart was bursting with joy. "Oh, I knew you'd like it."
"Thanks."
"Anytime. It's fun." Her voice sounded too giddy even to her, but she couldn't help it. She was high on joy and a lot of paint fumes.
"So, uh, where's the guy?"
Leave it to Luke to cut right to the point, and kill her exuberance. Thankfully, she had the answer she knew he wanted to hear. "Oh, he's gone."
"Oh, too bad."
"No, it's good." Not wanting to dwell on the heavy topic at the moment, she looked up into Luke's blue eyes. "Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Um, can I make one more suggestion?"
"Nope."
"Curtains."
"No."
"Manly curtains."
"Oxymoron."
"What did you call me?"
"No curtains."
"Aw, come on. You gotta give a little. How about a tablecloth?"
"No. We don't do table cloths here."
She danced around him as he continued pulling the chairs down off the tables for the impending breakfast rush, and breathed in deeply as the coffee he put on to brew started permeating the air around her. As she sat down at the counter, she realized through her exhilaration how tired she was, and knew she would have to grab a couple of hours of sleep before she went into work. But as she lifted her full cup of coffee to her lips, and watched Luke over the rim, she felt like once again, they were on stable ground. Somehow, thankfully, she had fixed her mistake, and was resolute about not letting anyone distract her from Luke again.
…..
She reached up behind her head and curled her fingers around her pillow, clutching desperately at the fabric, and feeling his hands cover hers. "Luke." His name tumbled from her lips.
"I've been thinking about you all day."
His voice curled around her like a warm embrace as he pulled one hand from hers, trailing a finger down her cheek, over her chest, and between the valley of her breasts, before tracing around her side, and sliding under her back, which she lifted ever so slightly off the mattress. A brief moment later, she felt the tension in her bra give way, and she felt a slight pang of loss as Luke pulled back. But when those talented fingers of his pulled the cups of her bra away, brushing against the sides of her breasts as they did, she shuddered in pleasure. She brought her arms down so he could fully pull the fabric away, and when he flung it over his shoulder, she had a feeling it was going to take a while to find. Tonight could potentially end up with her walking home braless, which, wouldn't be the first time.
However, the moment his hands molded to her breasts, kneading the sensitive flesh, all thoughts of her missing bra disappeared. "Oh yeah?"
"Yes." His response was short as his lips were much busier trailing hot, wet kisses down her throat. His tongue lapped the hollow at the base, while his thumb and forefinger began to roll her nipple before pinching it lightly. "I think about you all the time."
She wasn't sure she was even breathing anymore as he moved his hand from her breast down to the button on her jeans, which he flipped free with ease before lowering the zipper. With the material loosened from her body, he trailed his finger over the lace material of her panties which were now showing.
"I think about you here, naked, with me."
She drew in a shuddering breath, and forced her eyes open to look at him. "You have me."
He sat back on his heels, giving her the most glorious view of his erection standing at full attention just for her. Then he reached out and gripped the sides of her jeans, silently asking for her assistance, which she gladly gave, by pushing her hips off the bed so he could pull the tight denim down over her long, lean thighs. He stripped them off her completely, before throwing them in the same general direction as her bra.
With all barriers gone between the two, Luke ran his hands up her long legs, kneading her thighs gently, his gaze fixed on her dark curls. "You're beautiful." His warm breath teased the tops of her thighs, and she was positive he was going to make her come without even touching her. When his nose nuzzled against her most sensitive spot, her arms flung once again above her head, so her fingers could clutch the fabric of the pillow.
He pulled back slightly, and trailed his tongue up her inner thigh, stopping just short of where she wanted that tongue, and mirrored his actions on her other leg. When his tongue once again neared her most sensitive spot, he stopped to look up at her, his breath warm against her. He reached up, and his hand ran possessively down her waist, before dipping underneath her to squeeze her ass and then down her thigh, which he lifted and placed over his shoulder.
With better access, he parted her folds with his tongue, swirling it around her clit as her body pushed into him. He hummed in satisfaction, and the vibrations shot through her core.
She could feel her body tightening, and she knew she was close, so when he pulled away from her, she whimpered. When he chuckled, she groaned. "Luke, please." But when he rose above her, and she could feel the tip of his cock touch her entrance, her blood started to race. Then he slowly pushed into her, and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close, relishing in the long, deep groan that rumbled from deep within him.
Her arms fell from around him as he pulled back, and when he thrust into her again, her head pushed back on the pillow, and her eyes closed in pleasure. "Oh, god, Luke." She met him thrust for thrust, and begged him to take it to the next level. "Harder, Luke. Harder." He was so deep within her, and she could feel her body starting to lose control. Out of nowhere, her climax hit her, and she tightened around him, shouting his name as the waves of pleasure rippled through her.
As she was coming down from her high, she could hear him shout her name in response, and felt him filling her. When he collapsed on her, she trailed her fingers down his back, dimly aware that their breathing was completely in sync.
When she finally felt like her heart was returning to a slightly more normal pace, she breathed out a, "wow." After a few more moments, he pulled out of her, and she winced at the loss, comforted only by the fact that he pulled her close. It was all he could do in the small confines of the single bed, but it still felt good. She curled her arms around him, and dropped her head to his chest, perfectly content.
"Lorelai?"
"Hmmm?"
"I want to take you out on a real date. No more of this sneaking around. I want us to be public."
She smiled against his skin, and pressed a kiss to his chest, reveling in the feeling of him stroking her hair. "That would be amazing."
The shrill ring of an alarm clock broke the peacefulness of the moment, and when she lifted her head from Luke's chest to see where the alarm was so she could break it, everything around her began to blur, and her head felt funny. She blinked a few times, and suddenly realized she was in her own bed, and it was her alarm for the morning going off. As she reached over to turn it off, she sighed deeply. Of course it had been a dream.
…..
It had been a few weeks since she repainted the diner, and while she and Luke had definitely seen each other – some instances a little more R rated than others – he still hadn't made any move towards a deeper relationship with her, and it was really starting to get to her - especially after her dream. Add in the fact that the Firelight Festival was in full preparation, and that the festival in the eyes of Stars Hollow citizens was a more romantic concept than Valentine's Day could ever be, her mood was downright dour. So much so, she was actually contemplating cooking so she wouldn't have to set foot in the diner. However, leave it to her daughter to fully rain on her parade, and get to the heart of why she was in the mood to cook.
"So, tell me, why the sudden need to be domestic?"
"Ah, I don't know. I'm in like a funky mood."
"Why?"
She tried to wave off the questioning. "Too many stars, too much love, it makes me cranky."
"I take it you haven't heard from Mr. Medina?"
"Hmm, no. I haven't." The sudden mention of Max seemed to come out of nowhere, and in the recesses of her mind, she figured at some point she should ask Rory about where that came from, but her daughter continued before she could say anything.
"Maybe that's why you're cranky."
"Ok, new subject please." She really didn't want to be talking about Max Medina. Max was so far from her mind, it was like he was a character in a novel she had once read. No, her thoughts were on Luke, and why he seemed to be just fine with their current situation. All day, the old saying, 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free' kept swirling in her head, and she kept thinking a male who had the current arrangement that Luke did with her was the one who came up with it.
"You know, you have a phone also."
Rory's voice cut through her musings, and since she was not at all interested in continuing wherever Rory wanted to go with this conversation, she switched back to the topic at hand. "How's it coming with that pan?"
…
The next day did nothing to lighten her mood. Of course, she slept in, which meant she had zero time to make and/or go get coffee, and frankly, as she climbed into her Jeep, she considered it a minor miracle that she had remembered to put pants on. However, when she noticed the level of the gas in her tank, the small win for the day quickly dissipated.
Thankfully, she had enough to make it to the Inn, but wasn't too sure how far she would make it beyond that. As she walked in the front door, she was trying to figure out how who she could bribe to get gas for her, but had to quickly push the thought aside as one problem after another accosted her.
It was a couple of hours later before she was finally able to slip into the kitchen for some much needed coffee, but when she walked in, she interrupted Sookie and Jackson in the middle of a make out session. What was with this town and the Firelight Festival? The last thing she needed was another couple in love thrown in her face. Irritated that there was no coffee, she retreated to the front desk. However, Michel refused to be baited by her into a verbal sparring match, so her need for coffee became overwhelming. She needed to get out, so she grabbed her coat, and walked down to her Jeep, but when she pulled the door open, she remembered the lack of fuel, and blew out a sigh as she slammed the door. Maybe a walk into town would help her clear her mind.
As she trudged into town, she finally felt the tension in her body starting to lift, but as soon as she saw the bustling setup of the festival swirling around the town square, the irritation immediately took over yet again. Almost being killed by a falling papier-mâché star was just the icing on the cake.
When she crossed the threshold of the diner, the usual feeling of calm the building gave her washed over her. Unfortunately, she needed a lot more calmness to break through her mood today, so she pushed forward to the counter, and flopped down on a stool. Thankfully, Luke was standing at the counter, so, at least there was that. "I was almost crushed by a papier-mâché star. How's your day?"
"Well, it's looking pretty good now."
Because she was so wrapped up in her hatred for the day, she totally missed his blatant flirting, and just pushed forward. "Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism."
"So, why so cheery?"
She sighed. She wanted to tell him the real reason, but now was not the time, nor place. "I don't know. I'm just in a mood. I don't know why."
"But, there's no particular reason for this mood?"
"No."
"Uh huh."
"You don't believe me?"
"No, I believe you. If you say there's no reason for the mood, then there's no reason for the mood. You're simply nuts."
"Or bipolar. That's very big nowadays." The banter between she and Luke was helping infinitely with getting her mind off of things, but of course Taylor and Patty had to start arguing about the festival, and she couldn't take it anymore. "Ugh, can nobody talk about anything else but this stupid festival?" Almost immediately, she realized there was a very good chance that her train of thought had actually been spoken out loud. With a slight glimmer of fear in her eyes, she made eye contact with Luke, as she asked for his confirmation. "That came out a lot louder than it was supposed to, didn't it?"
"Yup."
Oh boy. "Yup." Sighing, she swiveled on her stool to face Taylor, internally steeling herself for a sure lecture.
"This festival is commemorating the founding of our town, young lady."
"I know, Taylor. I'm sorry."
"She's bipolar."
Luke's voice had her smirking, and she was eternally grateful for him swooping in to save her. Seeing that she was safe from Taylor's wrath for another day, she swiveled back to face the counter, tracking Luke's movements as she spoke. "I don't know what's wrong with me. This is a beautiful festival. People should be enjoying it."
"It's a crazy festival based on a nutty myth about two lunatics, who in all probability did not even exist. And even if they did, probably dropped dead of diphtheria before age 24. The town of Stars Hollow probably got its name from the local dance hall prostitute. Two rich drunk guys who made up the story to make it look good on a poster."
While Luke ranted, she could feel the tension in her body leveling out, and the grin on her face intensifying. For some weird reason, there were few things in the world that could calm her down more than listening to one of Luke's rants. He just got so worked up about things, and it was that same passion that made him irresistible to her. When he finished, she realized how incredibly right he was for her. They were the perfect balance for each other. She lightened him up, while he anchored her. And right now, he was anchoring her in her irritation of this particular festival, and she loved it. "You are full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you, I love it!"
"Oh, it's so good to have somebody to share this hate with."
When he leaned towards her, and his voice dropped to that timbre that was usually only heard in the bedroom, she felt a shudder of desire ripple through her body, and she tossed him a saucy grin. "My pleasure."
"More coffee?"
"Yeah please. Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I'm planning on despising everyone who says, 'hey, how's it going?'"
"You're on."
"Hey, how's it going?"
The female voice that rang out behind her was foreign to her ears, and she couldn't believe how quickly someone had fallen for her plan. "Oh, now that's just too easy." However, the look of disbelief in Luke's eyes caught her attention, and for some reason, it felt like time was slowing down, and she knew deep within her soul that something was wrong.
"Rachel."
The name tumbling from Luke's lips had a small bubble of fear burst in her stomach. "Rachel? Your Rachel?" When Luke nodded to her question, she had to turn to finally put a face to the name she had heard about so much lately. The woman who had captured and broken Luke's heart. The woman who she already fully believed she would despise as per her original plan of people speaking the catch phrase. So, she swiveled on her stool and saw a woman who very easily could have been on the cover of a magazine. "You're Rachel?"
"Yup, I'm Rachel."
As Rachel and Luke quickly caught up, all she could hear was the blood rushing between her ears. If she had stayed in bed that morning, would the day have been as bad as it was now? How could this be happening? And when Rachel sat right next to her, she had to bury her nose in her coffee cup, hoping maybe she could make herself invisible right now. But when she heard Luke start to stumble, she felt compelled to jump in and help him, even if it was to help him with wonder woman. "He thinks you look good too. Right?"
"Right."
"And you do."
"Thank you."
Sensing that Luke wasn't going to jump in anytime soon, she decided she might as well introduce herself, so Rachel didn't think she was just some lump on a stool. "I'm Lorelai."
"Oh, yeah. She's Lorelai."
"I'm Luke's friend."
"Yeah. She uh, uh, works at the Independence Inn."
Feeling slightly irritated at Luke's unintended slight, she huffed out a breath. "I run it, actually."
"Sorry, she runs it."
"Wow, I love that place."
"Oh!" Wow, maybe she did have some sort of leg up on Rachel.
"That must be a pretty big job."
"It is! It's crazy. There's always something happening. Like, we just put these coffee makers in all the rooms, but only half of them work. They just like shake and gurgle, like they're having some kind of a fit." She paused as she realized just how ridiculous her story was becoming, and how quickly she was losing whatever leg up she may have had on Rachel, so she decided she needed to switch the focus of conversation away from her, and barely spit out the question, "why were you in the Mideast?"
"I was doing a photo story on how Palestinian and Israeli families have been affected by the violence."
"Uh huh, well, so you understand about the job pressure." Did she really just say that? Did she really just equate violence in the Mideast to malfunctioning coffeemakers? Why was she babbling like an idiot?
"Yeah."
Embarrassment washed over her as Rachel hesitantly agreed to her awful comparison, and she knew she needed to get out of there so she couldn't further embarrass herself. Grabbing her things, she stood up. "I'm gonna go."
"Please, don't let me drive you away."
"That's ok, you're not. I have to go sit in a closet or something. So, it was really nice to meet you." Oh god. Get out, get out. Stop talking.
"Yeah, you too."
"Ok, bye." She backed away from Rachel and out the door, and as the door snapped closed behind her, she slapped her forehead, and hung her head in shame and embarrassment. Why, oh why did her words have to fail her when she needed to be at her wittiest? She just made a fool out of herself to the one person who had managed to capture Luke's heart. This was literally that one moment where the new girlfriend could establish her superiority over the old girlfriend, and she had failed miserably. Not that she was the new girlfriend, but she definitely did not do anything to help prove to Luke why he should choose her to be his girlfriend. She wanted to look back, to see if Rachel and Luke were still rooted to their respective spots, but she couldn't. She didn't want to know if they were currently wrapped in each other's arms. She just wanted to get back to the Inn, so the day could eventually be over, and she could sneak some booze into her room and drink herself to sleep that night.
But then the realization came that it was Friday, and tonight she had dinner at her parents'. Without Rory. "Dammit," she muttered under her breath as she trudged back towards the Inn. This was not a good day at all.
…..
"Rory!" The second she opened the front door, she shouted for her best friend. The day had been a disaster, and she needed to get the interaction with Rachel off her chest before she exploded. "Rory!" Where was that kid? She had to have been home already, because it was getting late, and she needed to leave for her date really soon.
"Mom!"
She looked up towards the top of the stairs where Rory's voice came from, and watched as Rory bounded down the stairs and enveloped her in a hug before continuing on.
"I'm so happy you're home! Can you help me with my hair? I'm running late."
Leave it to a 16 year old to bring some levity to her day. "Of course, sweets." She followed Rory into Rory's bedroom, accepted the brush that was thrust her way, and watched as Rory settled down in front of the mirror. "You will never guess who I met today."
"Who?"
"Rachel."
"Rachel?"
"Luke's Rachel."
"She's in town?"
She started brushing Rory's hair, using the tedious task to try to calm her anxiety. "Yeah. She just finished some photo assignment and decided to hop on a plane and come for a visit."
"And how did it go meeting her?"
"Oh, you know, I was my usual, delightful self."
"You stuck your foot in your mouth?"
She stopped brushing, and held Rory's head in her hands while making eye contact in the mirror. "Hey, whose side are you on?" When her daughter raised an eyebrow, she sighed, and continued brushing. "Deeper than I ever have before."
"What happened?"
"I'm not sure. I was talking about the Inn, and then all of a sudden I started talking about the coffeemakers. 'Oh, we got new coffeemakers.' Ugh! What was I thinking?"
"Well, you spent a lot of time picking out those coffeemakers."
"Oh yeah, I'm Mrs. Coffee."
"Ow! Ok, I'm still attached to the head."
When Rory reached up to hold her head, she realized how hard she had been pulling the long locks. "Ok, sorry. I'm a little worked up." Figuring it best to eliminate the possible weapon disguised as a hair brush, she put it on the dresser and grabbed some clips she could put in Rory's hair.
"Mom, it's just Luke's ex-girlfriend."
"I know. I just hate that I made myself look so stupid in front of…"
"Luke?"
"No, Rachel. She was standing there, fresh off a plane, and she had no plane hair at all might I add."
"And what exactly is plane hair?"
"You know, it's all big and all…bah."
"Got it."
With the clip in Rory's hair, she once again reached for the hairbrush, and continued brushing out the knots in Rory's locks. "And he's staring at her like she's Miss September and she's looking at him like he's Johnny Depp, and I was just babbling like a moron. What is wrong with me?"
"Ow! Ow! Ok, you are officially off hair duty."
"Aw, I'm sorry. I just…"
"No, it's ok. I just think it's a little early for Dean to see me completely bald."
"Right, that's more a six-month thing."
"So what's going on with you?"
"I don't know. It's just all this love in the air, you know. There's just been so much going on with your Dad coming home and family stuff and your constant existence…"
"Thanks for the love."
"Any time. So, I haven't had a lot of time to focus on it, and I miss being with someone."
"I know."
"I had a dream the other night."
"Really? Dirty?"
Had she really just said that to Rory? Falling back on plausible deniability, she shook her head. "No, absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer. Anyways, it's put me in a funk since then."
"I'm sorry."
"Me too. We could talk about me for years, and believe me, we will. But, let's focus on you, the lady of the evening. No hooker reference intended."
"As much as I appreciate being the lady of the evening, you can't change the subject now. Who's the guy?"
"W-what?"
"Who's the guy?"
"What guy?"
"The guy. The guy in your dream who has you looking all gooey-eyed."
"I do not look gooey-eyed."
"Uh, yeah you do."
"Uh, no I don't. New subject, please."
"Is it someone I know? Is that why you're being so evasive? Ooo! Is it Kirk? It's Kirk, isn't it."
"Ok, I'm leaving now." She stood up from where she was sitting, and threw Rory a pout before she left the room. The last thing she needed was Rory teasing her about her love life. It was embarrassing, and besides, she had a Friday night flagellation to get to.
…..
In all honesty, after yet another disaster of a Friday night dinner, this one including a horrible set up by Emily resulting in the need to climb out a window to escape, she had planned to go straight home, which is why she bought two cups of coffee from the shop in Hartford. By doing so, she could skip even stopping at the diner. But when she drove through the town square, the light from the fire drew her in like a moth, so she parked, and started walking through the festival. She had to admit, it was pretty, especially the giant bonfire in the middle of the square. As she made her way around, she noticed Luke sitting down on a bench, and immediately changed her direction towards him. Regardless of her embarrassing moment earlier that day in front of him, she really wanted the comfort of his company at the moment, so she sat down right next to him on the bench.
"Hey. Where the hell's the fire department when you need them?"
"Hey, aren't you supposed to be in Hartford?"
"Yeah."
"What happened?"
"Climbed out the window."
"Ok."
She looked at him as he stared at his hands, waiting for some sort of follow up retort from him, but when nothing came, she had to snort. "That's it? You're not curious why?"
"No."
"That's what I love about you." As soon as the words escaped her mouth, she realized her mistake and tensed to see what Luke's reaction would be. However, he seemed to miss her declaration, or chose to ignore it, and changed the direction of the conversation.
"Hey, how long you been here?"
Grateful for the change in topic, but a little disappointed he didn't say anything about her words, she looked at him. "A little while."
"Did you see Harry and Taylor get into a fist fight?"
She gasped. "No! Aww! How did I miss that? I'm so bummed!"
"It was good."
When it seemed like that was it for their conversation, her curiosity got the better of her, and she had to ask. "So, where's Rachel?" Admittedly, she was nervous to ask the question, and even more nervous as to the answer.
"Oh, she's a founder's party punch junkie."
Ok, so, Rachel was at the festival with Luke, but it sounded like she was off doing her own thing. That was good, right? "God, even the nice girls aren't safe."
"Yeah. She's been running around here taking all kinds of pictures."
"She's having a good time."
"I guess so. I hope so."
She took a deep breath, because she knew that beating around the bush with Luke wasn't going to get her anywhere. She needed to ask him straight up what was going on with him and Rachel. "So?"
"Yes?"
"So, what's the haps with you two?"
"The haps? Well, let's see. What is the haps?"
But of course, he had to mock her about her word choice. 'The haps' weren't the best choice, but they were what they were. "I mean, like, ya know, what's going…"
"I know what you meant by the haps."
"Ok, well, you're repeating it like a thousand times." She could feel her frustration level with Luke rising. It was like he was avoiding answering her question, which, in her mind, answered her question, and it wasn't the answer she was hoping for.
"I was pondering."
"Well, you ponder really slowly."
"If I did it fast, it wouldn't be pondering. Pondering by nature is a slow connotation."
"Ok. Fine, fine."
"It's ok."
"Is she staying?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want her to?"
"I don't know."
This conversation was going nowhere fast, but it was making her sad. Unfortunately, she had to point out the obvious, and it was killing her to do so. "She seems to really like you."
"Yeah, she does, but she doesn't have the greatest attention span."
"Yeah."
"But she is here."
"Yes, she is."
"I don't know. You spend a lot of time debating things, ya know, is it right, is it wrong, or should I do this, should I do that. I mean, sometimes you should just jump in and take a shot. What's the worst that can happen? She left before, I lived. Maybe this time."
Her heart was slowly breaking apart as Luke talked, and as he did, she knew that in order to keep him in her life, she needed to support him. He always supported her with all of her dates. "I think that's really great."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
When they looked at each other, it was like they had a silent conversation that he was thinking about trying this thing with Rachel, and she did her best to look supportive. After a few moments, he nodded to her.
"Well, I guess I'm gonna go check up on Rachel."
"That's nice."
"What?"
"That you have somebody you can go check up on. That's nice."
"Yeah, it is. Unless she's completely drunk and throwing up."
"Still nice."
"I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow." Before he got up, he tapped his knuckles on her bare knee, and her body instantly reacted to his touch, but this time it was different. She contemplated that for a few minutes before she stood up, and started to make her way back to the Jeep, keeping her eyes downcast so as not to see anything she didn't want to see.
However, during the entire short ride home, all she could think about was Luke. The way he just took her for what she was, was everything to her, and she felt like he was slipping quickly away from her to Rachel. And suddenly, she wanted him to know exactly how she felt about him. She wanted him to know she wanted to start a real relationship with him, and she no longer wanted to be the girl and wait for him to come to her. No, she was going to go to him. And even if he rejected her, and it would be awful, at least then she could move on. But right now, her emotions were so conflicted, and she was lying to her daughter about who she was constantly thinking about. She needed to set things straight, so as soon as she walked in the house, she took a deep breath to steady herself, and walked to the phone, picking it up and dialing the number she knew so, so well.
After each ring, she felt her heart tighten a little more, and then she heard that silence right before the usual greeting.
"Hello?"
The female voice extending the greeting had her heart plunging in her chest, and she couldn't even force herself to answer. Instead, after the second time the voice said hello, she slowly lowered the phone from her ear, and turned it off. She laid it carefully in its cradle, and put her head in her hands, the tears already starting to stream down her face. She had missed her chance. If only she had said something sooner, but now, she would never be able to, because the elusive ex-girlfriend she had heard so much about – the wonder woman of Stars Hollow – was back. Rachel was back, and she was answering Luke's phone.
…