A/N: Alright now as explained last chapter, this chapter will go back and explain things from Sam's POV and pick up at the phone call to Freddie. There is a lot of singing in this chapter. And, alot of sweet moments between Sam and her family. (dad's side)
Also, THANK YOU FOR THE LATE BDAY WISHES, REVIEWS, AND SUPPORT. I WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT YALL! :)
Enjoy folks!
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, Jordin Sparks Battlefield, Little One I Love You, and Aerosmith I Don't Want To Miss A Thing.
Chapter 10
*Sam's POV*
Dallas, Tx
Saturday Afternoon
"So I'm putting my defenses up. Cause I don't want to fall in lo…"
I quickly hit the ignore button for the twentieth time tonight. I already knew who it was, and I didn't want to talk to him right now.
"Hello RJ," I said in a cutesy baby voice towards my baby brother, who was lying in front of me on his play mat. He smiled at me and kicked his feet. "Wow, I can't believe he's already seven months." I said to Shelia.
"How do you think I feel?" She said back with a laugh as she continued to fold clothes.
"I wish I could see him all the time." I said as I continued to play with him.
"You say that now, but as soon as he hits those terrible twos, you'll be glad not to be around all the time." She said.
"Oh, he won't be that bad." I said back kissing his hand.
Shelia looked at me like I had grown another head. "Um hello, he is a Puckett, he'll be worst than any other two year old." She laughed.
I laughed. "True, we Pucketts have a knack at being trouble, but he could turn out like Melanie. I was the bad ass growing up."
"Well, if he was a twin there would be a fifty/ fifty chance, but he isn't." She said.
"So I'm putting my defenses. Cause I don't want fall in love. If I ever…"
"Ugh," I said. I picked up my phone again and hit ignore, before throwing it on the couch behind me.
"What hurts the most, Was being so close, And having so much to say."
I rolled my eyes and checked the text message.
To: Sam
From: Freddie
So, did you make it to Texas. Babe call me please.
I scoffed as I threw my phone back behind me, and focused back on my little brother. I saw Shelia from the corner of my eye make a face.
"What," I asked.
"Is everything okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I asked.
"Because, unless you've changed it since last time you visited, Freddie's ringtone is Heart Attack." She said.
I sighed and got up and sat on the couch next to Shelia. "He's being the biggest asshole right now."
"What happened?" She asked.
I told her the whole story about the fighting over our future plans. Well, more like my future plans.
Shelia nodded as I explained. When I finished she just shrugged. "Well Sam, I have to agree it is your choice. And, if you feel like you need some time, then this is the perfect time to take it." She said.
It was my turn to just stare at her. I expected more of a lecture from her. "That's it?" I asked.
She shrugged and slightly laughed. "I think this is a decision that you need to make on your own. You see I went to college and with my parents it wasn't a choice. So, I don't know any other way. I wouldn't be much help in this area of expertise."
I nodded at her honesty. "As for the relationship issue, you have to remember Sam. Men are stupid, even when their number one in their class, with a 4.0 GPA, and likely to get accepted into every school they applied to." She finished. I laughed as I nodded my head.
"Take your time, talk to him when you're ready, but don't give up on him just yet." She said patting my knee.
I nodded my head. I looked down at RJ just in time to see him let out a big yawn before making a crying face. Shelia quickly reached down and grabbed him before he started.
"Well, if you will excuse me I need to go put him down for his afternoon nap. If he starts crying he will never stop. He may have my eyes and dark curly hair, but he has your dad's yell." She laughed. I joined her as she began to walk away.
"Hey Shelia," I said causing her to stop and look at me. "Can I put him down for his nap?"
She smiled at me. "Sure, you can." She said. I walked over to her and took him out of her arms. He made a noise and I thought he was going to cry, but he didn't.
I walked him to his nursery and sat down in Shelia's rocking chair. I rocked back and forth and smiled at my slightly irritated brother, who was clearly fighting his sleep.
"Come and sit down by my side
Just like when you were a child
I'll tell you my favorite memory
When I tuck in the bed
You wrap your arms around my neck
And I'd whisper as you drifted off to sleep.
Little one I love you
Farther than my arms can reach
From the tip of your nose down to your toes
And higher than the highest tree
Little one I love you
More than all the flowers that bloom
More than oceans combined
And stars in the sky
Yes, I love you to the moon, I love you to the moon, I love you to the moon …
and back"
Before I was even halfway through the song he was peacefully asleep. I kissed him on his forehead, and put him in his crib.
I sighed as I exited the room. Even if for a minute he was a release from my problems. I headed to my room and shut the door. I threw my phone on the bed and grabbed my guitar. I started tuning it, but my phone rang.
"She wants to touch me (Whoa-oh), She wants to love me (Whoa-oh),
She'll never leave me (Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh, oh), Don't trust a hoe,
Never trust a hoe, Won't trust a hoe, Don't trust me."
I rolled my eyes, and looked at me screen where the name Jack-Ass appeared.
"What do you want Jonah?" I asked as I answered the phone.
"Wow, hostile much Sweet- Lips?" He asked. "I thought you would be happy to hear from me. After all, you've disappeared off the face a planet."
"Oh please, you're the one who's been skipping school the past two weeks. Plus we talked on the phone like last week." I said putting my guitar down next to me.
"Hey, I've been handling some business. Anyways, you could've seen me outside of school." He said.
"I told you I've had girlfriend duties to tend to." I said.
"Yuck, spare me the kinky details… On the other hand, tell me everything." He said.
"Jonah you're such an ass." I said disgusted.
"You use to love that about me." He said. "Anyways, why don't you come hang with me today? There's a new stupid ass movie coming out today."
"I can't sorry." I said.
"Oh don't tell me your nerd got you on a leash again?" He stated.
"Um, first of all I'm in Texas visiting my dad's family. Next, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"It means when Freddie says jump, Sam Puckett asks how high." He said with a laugh.
"Oh um, I'm sorry, but are we talking about the same Sam Puckett?" I asked. "Because there is no way in hell you're talking about me." I said back.
"Bullshit, you've been the perfect little student this year Sam. Attending classes, with the exception of your study hall, but that doesn't count because it is study hall. You've turned in your homework, attended all of the football games. You've done everything that isn't Puckett style this year to keep your boyfriend happy." He said.
"Well, when you're in a relationship with a decent guy for a change, you have to make some sacrifices." I stated. "Besides, it wasn't all for Freddie. I'm staying out of trouble for me. I would've been doing it with or without Freddie, to stay out of jail."
"I guess," He said back. "Here's what I don't get, you claim that you have to make sacrifices, but I don't see what sacrifices he has made for you."
"He's sacrificed his freedom." I said.
"Oh please Sam," Jonah said back.
"No, I'm serious; since he has been with me he pretty much stays grounded. Everything I do he gets in trouble for." I said.
"Sam, that's not a sacrifice. I've heard you talk about some of the reasons he's been grounded. The majority of them had to do with you guys fucking." He said. "And, I can tell you from experience that's the best damn reason to be punished."
I didn't want to admit it, but he had a point. Since being in this relationship I've been the one making all the changes, but I can't really be upset about that, right. I came into this changing.
"Oh please you've fucked me, what twice, three times at the most." I said. "And, it was like three years ago."
"That should tell you that you were memorable." He said with a slight laugh.
"Are you sure you don't have me confused with Tara? After all you went and fucked her right after you finished with me." I said.
"OH LOW BLOW, SWEET LIPS." He said causing me to laugh. "Look all I'm saying is. I don't think it's fair that he get's to be the same old Freddie he's always been, but you're forced to change everything about you." He said. For once he actually sounded genuine, but this was Jonah.
"Thanks, but it's not like that. And, even if it was I can take care of myself." I said back. It got silent for a minute. To be honest I was a little uncomfortable with this conversation. "Hey Jonah, I got to go help with my little brother. I'll talk to you later okay." I said to him.
"Okay, that's fine, but can you tell me one thing before you go?" He asked.
"Sure, what?" I said
"What are you wearing underneath your clothes?" He asked. The real Jonah was back.
"Ugh you are such an asshole." I said before hanging up in his face.
He was wrong. Freddie wasn't trying to change me. The only problem we were really having right now was the fact that we didn't agree on college. And, Freddie sacrifices everyday for me. There are all the times he has gotten into it with his mother over me, and his mother really doesn't trust him anymore because of me.
"What hurts the most, Was being so close, And having so much to say."
To: Sam
From: Freddie
You know you're being really immature about this. I get that you're mad, but you could at least call me and tell me you made it safe. Txt me or call me or something please.
"Dick," I said to my phone that I was holding in my head, after reading his newest text message. I hope his condescending ass didn't think I was going to respond to that bullshit.
Like, he really doesn't believe he did anything wrong, and that's a problem. I put my phone back on my night stand, and leaned back on mybed.
"Yeah, I think he needs another day to think about all of this." I said before closing my eyes for an afternoon nap. This isn't going to be one of the times I cave first.
*Next day*
Since my dad married Shelia he now attends church. That means when I'm home I must go to. It actually isn't that bad. I might enjoy it if I didn't have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to go.
After church we went out to eat with Carter's parents. It was weird not to see him with them. From the sounds of it, he's doing well and will be back in May to attend college in the fall. They gave me his contact information and say if I call let them know and they'll pay for the international charges.
Freddie called so much during our lunch I had to cut my phone off. He was really being ridiculous. My dad kept touching my shoulder and asking if I was okay, which I simply nodded every time.
When we got home I played with RJ for an hour or two, but Shelia and Dad we're taking him to see Shelia's great Aunt for the first time. I opted out and decided to stay at home. They didn't fight me on it.
I went up to my room and tuned my guitar. My schedule was thrown off, so I didn't get my me time yesterday.
I turned my phone back on to see I had over forty text messages from Freddie from yesterday until today. He called again but I put my phone on silent, so I could focus. I still wasn't ready to talk to him.
"Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love and suddenly
It's like a battle-field
One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you're gone
I'm out here without a shield
Can't go back now"
Why are relationships so hard? Yeah they start off pleasant, but when that stage is over it's like all hell breaks loose. I mean is it really meant to be this hard.
"Both hands tied behind my back for nothing "I never meant to start a war "Why does love always feel like ... "Can't swallow our pride,
Oh no
These times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now"
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for"
a battlefield
a battlefield
a battlefield
[repeat]
Why does love always feel like"
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender
then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no"
I'm not breaking first. Not this time, it always ends up being me and it's not fair. This time it is all him. He was the one who decided to embarrass me in front of his grandparents. Although it happens very rarely, I did nothing wrong this time.
"Both hands tied behind my back with nothing "I never meant to start a war
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now"
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for"
"Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield
a battlefield
a battlefield
[repeat]"
I have to admit this fight was indeed stupid, but what did he expect from me? I specifically told him to let it go and he keeps pressing the matter.
"I guess you better go and get your armor "We could pretend that we are friends tonight "A battlefield (oh), a battlefield (oh), a battlefield, "I guess you better go and get your armor "Why does love always feel like ...
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your"
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
Cause baby we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like"
Why does love always feel like a battlefield (oh),
A battlefield (oh), a battlefield"
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
(fighting, fighting for)"
a battlefield
a battlefield
a battlefield
[repeat]"
'Here goes nothing,' I thought as I was approaching the part of the song I always struggle with. The notes were higher than I could handle. Sometimes I can hit it when it's a single note, but in this song you hold it and then it turns into a decrescendo, before holding it again.
"I guess you better go and get your armor
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
Get your armor"
Damn it, still missed that high note. I had been trying widen my range, which was proving harder than I thought.
"Why does love always feel like
(whooaa ooow)
Why does love always feel like
(whooaa ooow)
A battlefield, a battlefield.."
I saw my phone light up next to me. I already knew who it was.
"(whooaa ooow)
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for
(whooaa ooow)"
I finished out the song and picked up my phone to check my text.
To: Sam
From: Freddie
Hey Sam,
I'm sorry. I was wrong. I never should have let my mother talk to the way I did. It was spineless of me. Call me whenever you're ready. I think we need to talk about this for real.
Love you always.
I breathed a sigh of relief. It only took him two days to do what I've been waiting on. All this time all I wanted was an apology, but he was too stubborn to give it to me. At least, until now, wonder what changed his mind.
I took a deep breath to collect my thoughts before calling his phone. My heart stopped when the phone stopped ringing.
"Hey Sam," He said after letting out a deep sigh.
"Hey," I said back.
"Glad to know you're alive."
"Yep, I'm still kicking." I said.
Silence took over the conversation as I played with the strings on my guitar.
"Sam, I'm sorry. You were right. I let my mom say everything she said because I agreed." He said. I don't understand why you are so against college. You're smart and talented."
"Freddie, I've told you like 20 damn times. Yes, that may be true, but up to this point that was never me. I mean to be honest it's probably still not me. I have other things to consider before applying to college, including deciding if I even want to go to college."
"I understand that. I just wish you would consider it." He said.
"Who said I wasn't?" I said.
"But, you said…" He started, but I cut him off.
"I said, I need to decide what I want to do. College is my decision to make Freddie. I need you to understand whether I decide to apply or not. I don't want to be pushed towards it. That's a major turn off."
"I understand." He said. "I just want what's best for you Sam. I love you." He said.
"But, who determined that that's what is best for me? I need you to understand that that's for me to decide. Freddie. I don't want to fight over this anymore. No, I refuse to fight over this anymore." I said.
"Okay Sam, I get it." He said, "And I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have stormed out the way I did." I said back.
"So, let's say we make up the right way when you get back tomorrow. I'll take you to dinner at Pini's and then we can go to the movie of your choosing." He said.
"Sounds nice," I said glad to be back on good terms with him. Plus, I get to make him sit through any movie I want.
"Yeah, and then if memory serves correct. I owe you a little gift for you being willing to sit with my mother at Paradise." He said.
I laughed as I remembered our conversation that night. "Now that's the perfect ending to a date." I said back causing him to laugh. "What are you doing right now?" I asked.
"Laying down now, before you called I was doing homework and talking to my grandfather." I said.
"They're still there?" I asked.
"Yeah they're leaving early tomorrow morning." He said. "Speaking of which what time are you getting in tomorrow?"
"Um, my plane lands at 3:30, and mom is picking me up at the airport so I won't be home til about 4:15ish." I said back to him.
"Perfect, that means I'll be done by time you get here." He said back.
"Done with what?" I asked.
"Oh, didn't I tell you? Emma asked if I will come record the local cheer competition. They're trying to prep for Nationals in December." He said. I cringed at the mention of Emma's name and the fact Freddie was going to be hanging out with her all day tomorrow.
"Oh that's cool babe, are you being paid for it?" I asked.
"Hell yeah, 250 bucks just to record two dances." He said.
"Wow, that is great babe." I said back.
Freddie didn't have a job, he had a business. He did a lot of video and editing work as a hustle for money. He also gets a monthly stipend from his mom, but once that money runs out it's out. So, he needed a way to make money, but his mom didn't want him working while he was in school because she thought it would take him away from his studies. This was the best way he could make a quick buck.
I swallowed down my feelings about him and Emma. Freddie might be a guy, but he's not dumb. I knew he wouldn't do anything stupid and that's all that matters.
Me and Freddie stayed on the phone for hours. It felt nice. Even though it had only been a day and a half since I've talked to him. I still missed him.
"SAM IT'S TIME FOR DINNER!" Shelia yelled from downstairs.
"OKAY, I'M COMING!" I yelled back. "Hey babe, I have to go last dinner with the fam tonight. If I don't head down now, Shelia is going to come and get me."
"Ugh, fine I guess you can go eat with your family." He said with a sigh.
"Aw, I'll be back tomorrow babe. I love you." I said.
"Tomorrow seems so far away, but yeah I'll see you tomorrow." He said. "Love you too, text me when you're heading to the airport."
"Alright bye," I said back before hanging up the phone and running down the stairs.
*After dinner*
After dinner I went out to the covered porch. My parents added a covering to it earlier this year, so Shelia could sit out here with R.J. It was insulated so even when it was cold you wouldn't freeze to death.
I was trying to hit the note in Battlefield again.
"Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield
a battlefield
a battlefield"
"I guess you better go and get your armor"
"Damn it," I yelled out as I missed the note for the fourteenth time. I set up to try it again.
"Having trouble?" My dad asked.
I turned to see him standing there. "How long have you've been there?" I asked.
"Long enough," He said reaching for my guitar. "May I?"
I shrugged and handed it to him. He strung slightly and tuned it up a little.
"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Very moment spent with you is a moment I treasure"
"Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing"
"Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing"
I was shocked. I had never heard my dad play before. Hell, I never knew he played or sung for that matter. My mom had mentioned that singing was something I got from my dad a long time ago, but because we were on the outs I never really questioned it.
"Dad, I didn't know you played." He said.
"Well, I used to play. In high school me and few of my friends had a cover band." He said with a laugh. "That's how I met your mother. Sophomore year she was into musicians, and I thought she was the hottest girl I had ever seen."
"Um, yeah please spare me the details." I said causing him to laugh. "So, why don't you play anymore?" I asked.
"Eh, it was fun back then, but the only reason why I got into it was because I needed an arts credit to graduate, so jazz band it was. As for the band, that's what was in at the time, but I never had a passion for it. Now you in the other hand, you're very talented with such a great passion." He said to me handing me back my guitar.
"I'm okay," I said back.
"No Sammy, you're better than okay." He said.
"Thanks," I said with a smile. He nodded as if to say you're welcome.
"Now, I talked to Shelia and she mentioned that the college talks have finally started." He said.
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, unfortunately they have started to kick in." I said back.
"And," he asked as if that wasn't enough.
"And, I'm not going." I said, it really should have been obvious.
"Hm, so why not?" My dad asked.
"Oh come on dad, you know why not." I said.
"No, I don't." He said.
"Dad, I'm a C average student with a record. There is no way a college would accept me." I said.
"And, that's stopping you why?" He asked. I opened my mouth to answer, but I closed it. What does he mean why is that stopping me? Isn't it obvious?
"Sam, you're probably not going to remember this, but when you were three you were obsessed with flying." He started.
"I was?" I asked.
"Oh yes, you were always looking at the sky and day dreaming. You used to say that one day you were going to be the first human to fly without wings." He laughed.
"Wow," I said.
"Yeah, this one time, I took you and your sister to the park, and you were telling this little boy that one day you were going to fly without an airplane. He tried so hard to convince you that it wouldn't happen." He said wrapping an arm around me. "He kept screaming in your face, 'You can't do it.' Next thing I know you had pushed him down and sat on top of him banging his head into the sand." He said with a laugh.
"Yeah, that sounds like something I would do." I laughed.
He nodded. "Well, it was the first kid you ever beat up."
"Aw, the start of the end, dad that is all great and all, but what's your point?" I asked.
"My point is you have never been the type to accept limitations over yourself. When people say that you can't do something, you work ten times as hard to prove them wrong." He said.
"Okay," I asked.
"So, why let the fears of rejection stop you now?' He finally dropped his point.
My heart fell when he said it. I had never let myself think about it to that extinct. I didn't know what to say to my dad. Apparently he seemed to get the message because he continued to talk through the silence.
"Sam, don't let that fear to stop you from trying. You are smart, any school would be lucky to have you. Yes, you have a record, but you've also turned over a new leaf." He said taking his arm from around me and grabbing my hands. "More importantly, if you enjoy what you are studying you are completely dedicated to it, so always remember that." He said.
I looked down for a second, but my dad forced me to look at him. "You are worth it. And, if you feel that that's not enough, you don't want to regret it either." He said. He kissed me on top of my head and stood up. "Don't stay up too late you have an early flight in the morning."
I nodded my head. "Hey dad," I said causing him to look down at me. "Thanks for the talk." I said. He nodded his head and bent down and patted my shoulder before going into the house.
I sighed deeply. Fear, wow who would have thought that my dad would've nailed it on the head; I had a lot to think about on the flight home. Until then, I think I should grab a couple of fat cakes and get some sleep.
A/N: So, the next chapter will pick up at school that Tuesday! Prepare for ish to hit the fan! lol