A/N: Here the new chapter is. The only real reason I'm writing this a/n is because I have something I need to tell you that has been coming for these now nine chapters of adventure. We, Rachel & Quinn and you and I, are coming to an end. This adventure is coming to a close. There is one more planned chapter and an epilogue after that. I will most likely try to say some things in the end so you're not getting rid of me just yet. Now enjoy the chapter :) Live long and prosper!
When the door opened Rachel sighed as she walked straight into the taller blonde, taking in everything that she had missed. The smell, the feeling, the… everything. It took seconds before Quinn's shock wore off and wrapped her arms around Rachel.
"I missed you." Rachel whispered softly with a smile. A smile spread across Quinn's face.
"I missed you too." she whispered back before she tried to pull away from Rachel, although freeing herself from her proved to be a very difficult task. Not only because Rachel held onto her like a Koala, but also because Quinn held Rachel in the same manner and breaking away from that was hard. Quinn was doing the same thing Rachel was, taking her in. The smell, the feeling, the… everything.
"How've you been?" Rachel asked, taking the big step and breaking away from the hug. Quinn nodded as she backed inside to make way for Rachel to come inside.
"Good. Better now that you're here." she said, closing the door behind Rachel. Rachel smiled at Quinn as she took of her coat and hung it besides Quinn's.
"Well, my presence makes everyone's life much better." she said and winked. Quinn chuckled as she walked away from the door and sat down in the couch in the next room. Rachel followed and sat down next to Quinn, sighing as she turned to her.
"I'm Rachel Barbra Berry. I'm from Lima, Ohio. I've always wanted to be on broadway, like always. I have two fathers as you already know, and they've always spoiled me in the arts. I've also always been very competitive and I take a lot of things way too seriously, and I rarely admit that I think so too sometimes so you should feel honoured." Rachel said, watching Quinn's frown become deeper and deeper until it turned to a slight smile and chuckle at the last words.
"You?" Rachel said not breaking away her eyes from Quinn. Quinn straightened herself slightly and cleared her throat when she realized she had speak. About herself, and her background. To a woman she without a doubt had fallen deeper for than she ever would be able to fall. There was no getting out of it. Now is your perfect time to say it, Quinn. she thought. Just say it!
"I'm Qui- Lucy Quinn Fabray. And you never ever heard me say that. I chose to go by Quinn after I switched schools. I got horrible nicknames as Lucy and it's really just something I'd like to forget." Quinn said and sighed, Rachel nodded slightly.
"I'm from Cleveland, Ohi…" she started before Rachel interrupted. "Wait, you're from Ohio too? How did I not know this?" she said with a smile.
"Because I never told you? Anyway, it's not like you told me." she said "Now, can I continue?" she said and Rachel nodded.
"I actually lived in Texas until I was 6 when we moved to Ohio. I come from a very religious family. I got some history of having to "pray away the gay". My mother drinks way too much when things get crazy, and my dad is… is nice man when you're on his good side but if you do the slightest thing wrong…" she said and trailed off, looking at her hands as she was playing with her fingers.
"Are you still in contact with them?" Rachel asked. Quinn nodded and hummed.
"Or well, I talk with them from time to time but it's not what you would call contact. We're basically strangers nowadays." she said before looking up at Rachel.
"Well, you have a family here at least. Your New York family." Rachel said with a smile. Quinn felt her heart skip a beat at the smile and the truth that Rachel spoke. Her parents hadn't been her family for a long time. Not since that summer.
"So…" Quinn sighed. "How was Lima? and your dads?" she asked trying to get away from the subject of her parents.
"Good. There were a lot of questions around you, a lot I couldn't answer. That's why I did this." Rachel said.
"Well, if you want to know something you can just ask me." Quinn chuckled. Rachel nodded. Silence settled between them at that. Like Rachel was thinking about a question to ask, while Quinn was still screaming at herself to just tell her.
Rachel moved closer and tucked blonde strands of hair behind Quinn's ear. Quinn moved her head slightly to avoid it although her whole body wanted more. She wanted Rachel to touch her but the reason to not let her was still a pressing issue.
Rachel moved her hand down to Quinn's shoulder and ran it down her arm only to stop at her hand where she started to play with Quinn's fingers. Quinn didn't know how get away from Rachel's touch without seeming weird, although that was probably something that was inevitable.
Quinn stood up hastily and asked, "I'm pretty thirsty so I'm going to get some water. Do you want anything?" Rachel shook her head and the blonde quickly made her way to the kitchen. Rachel was left sitting in the couch.
In the kitchen Quinn grabbed one of her already used glassed and filled it with water and leaned against the counter, bringing the glass up to her temple just trying to calm down from nothing.
Just tell her and this will be over. she thought and gulped the water in the glass. "Tell her and it will be over." she whispered to herself before making her way back to Rachel with a smile. The smile she got back from Rachel was heartbreaking. It was so genuine and heartfelt and… warm. Knowing that, Quinn had to do it. The thing she had tried to put in the back of her mind from the time of the party.
"I wonder…" Rachel started, tilting her head slightly with the same smile. "What made you want to become a writer?" she asked, pulling her feet up to her chest. Quinn raised her eyebrows at the question and sat down next to Rachel in the same spot as before.
"I don't know. I mean I wrote journals and diaries as a kid and it was like… an outlet. I had- have a best friend, but it's not the same thing." she said, leaning back. "I mean I can write all the things I have to say in it and it's just for me. I can tear the page out and burn it if I want the words out of the word, I can't do that when I tell someone something." she continued, looking at Rachel.
"Like what?" Rachel tried, just wanting to know what was behind the secretive woman in front of her. Surely there was more than met the eye, like she proved earlier. Quinn looked at her hands with a frown.
This is it. Come on.
"Not- nothing special." Quinn could hear herself say although her whole body scream the truth, not only at and to her, but to the outside world too. Something that Rachel picked up. She reached out to trail her fingers around Quinn's hands and wrists.
Quinn looked back up at Rachel as she sighed and crossed her arms on her chest. Rachel retracted her hand to nervously play with her hands. They once again sat in silence.
"Who are you Quinn?" Rachel finally broke. Quinn looked at Rachel whose face didn't say anything about what she felt. Who am I?
"What do you mean?" she wondered with a frown. Rachel leaned her head against the wall at her side.
"You write because you can't talk about it. You're parents seem very unpleasant to say the least. You've only mentioned Puck when talking about friends, yet you refer to this best friend of yours. Like said best friend and you have a troubled history or that you just want to keep her, or him, for yourself." Rachel pried. "So, I ask again, Miss. Fabray. Who are you?"
"Well, Miss. Berry." Quinn started bringing a smile to both herself and Rachel's lips. "I'm just me. Quinn Fabray. I write, because if I start talking about it, about my parents, not even my best friend would understand the pain of having your father drag you by the arm upstairs to your room. Or having him making you spend hours in a church every day to "pray away the gay". So, yeah they're not that nice but I see where they're coming from." she rambled, trying to look at anything but Rachel who sat with her jaw dropped. "And I don't mention Puck only when I talk about friends because he's my only friend, because he's not, but because he's the only one I've ever told this about before. My best friend, Santana, is the reason why I got dragged upstairs. She was my first love, or so I've told myself. She came out one summer and I was kind of… dragged into it, for a lack of a better word. That's why I don't talk about her as more than my best friend." Quinn continued and breathed. Rachel was still sitting with her jaw dropped, and Quinn still tried to look at anything but Rachel.
Rachel didn't know what to do. The woman before her had just poured her heart out, and it left a bitter aftertaste. After all the kisses they'd shared she never thought Quinn could leave any sort of aftertaste other than complete happiness with life. She looked down at her hands again just to do something other than sit and stare at Quinn with her mouth open.
She jumped when Quinn took a sharp intake of breath and wave of sobs and tears came out of her. Rachel once again didn't know what to do, and her head reacted before her body did, moving closer to hug the crying Quinn. She rubbed her back, instinctively rocking back and forth easily trying to comfort her.
Quinn didn't know where the tears and sobs came from. Maybe it was some sort of relief or maybe it was all the hurt that flooded back into her whole system. Whatever it was, she was sobbing.
When she looked up at Rachel's concerned face her whole body calmed and the sobs turned to quiet tears rolling down her cheeks. She locked up at Rachel before squeezing her eyes shut and leaning her forehead against Rachel's. She took a deep breath before licking her lips, tasting the salty tears in her whole mouth.
Rachel leaned back from Quinn, one of her hands finding it's place at the end of Quinn's back tracing patterns. The other one at Quinn's hands, playing with her fingers.
When Quinn took Rachel's hand something changed within her. It was once again a feeling she couldn't explain, but it made her feel calm as she too played with Rachel's fingers.
It's time, Quinn. she thought and sighed.
"There's something else you need to know." Quinn said softly, looking up at Rachel and swallowed. Rachel too seemed calmer than ever.
"I'm not… I couldn't pray away the gay." she continued, biting her lip. Rachel frowned a little.
"But I had to tell them it worked." she swallowed again. Rachel's frown deepened.
"I'm not… out. I've never had the courage after that." she said and sighed, looking away from Rachel. Rachel closed her eyes and smiled softly.
"I don't care. I mean, the day I marry you I'd want them to be there but if they can't accept who you are then they aren't welcome." Rachel said.
"Marry me?" Quinn chuckled, looking back at Rachel.
"One day." Rachel smiled wider.
"Which day?" Quinn asked.
"A Saturday." Rachel answered.
"Which Saturday?" Quinn asked.
"My favourite Saturday, in my favourite summer, of my favourite year." Rachel said and kissed Quinn's cheek lightly.
"Which Saturday, in which summer, of which year?" Quinn chuckled again.
"The Saturday in the summer of the year I marry you." Rachel smiled and moved in to kiss Quinn again, although this time Quinn caught her to kiss her lightly on the mouth. Just like that every muscle in their bodies calmed more than what was thought possible.
Quinn brought her hand up to Rachel's cheek as she deepened the kiss, moving it to Rachel's neck, brushing her jaw on the way. Rachel broke away with a happy sigh, smiling and licking her lips.
"I hate you." Rachel said softly.
"I hate you too." Quinn replied.
Like that they sat. As the minutes ticked by they got more and more entangled in each others bodies and more and more kisses were shared. And as an hour, two hours, three hours, passed on the couch it got more and more clear that Rachel wasn't leaving that night.
Rachel had dozed off but as the woman next to her started to snore lightly in her ear she reached for her phone in her jeans and saw just how many hours they'd been laying there.
"Quinn?" she almost whispered still debating if waking Quinn up was the best idea.
"Quinn, wake up." she tried again a little louder as she came to the conclusion that it seemed like the better option.
"Quinn." she tried once again, rocking Quinn lightly to try and get some life into her.
"Quinn." she tried once more, and this time Quinn hummed almost still asleep.
"We should move or one of us will wake up with an aching back tomorrow." Rachel said trying to get out of Quinn's arms and failing as Quinn pulled her in again.
"No, warm." Quinn said softly. Rachel smiled, once again trying and failing at getting away.
"It's warm in your bed too, and it's bigger. More room to cuddle on." Rachel tried. Quinn hummed again.
"Warm bed. Okay." Quinn whispered, finally releasing Rachel out of her arms. Rachel slowly stood up and looked at Quinn. As Quinn let out a heavy breath it was clearly she was still not awake enough to understand the situation. Rachel debated over whether or not to try and carry the girl. She did work out every day and Quinn couldn't be that heavy.
"Come with me, Quinn." Rachel whispered and pulled at her lightly. Quinn drowsily moved out of the couch and hung on Rachel for a second before slowly making her way into the bedroom. She crashed in the bed, moved up slowly and sighed. Rachel followed and laid down on the other side.
A sudden wave of energy seemed to fill Quinn as she pulled of her socks, and jeans, and shirt, and crawled under the comforter in just her underwear. Rachel followed, pulling of her socks and jeans only leaving her shirt on.
Quinn and turned out with her back against Rachel so she moved closer and cuddled up to her. As Quinn let out another heavy breath Rachel felt at home for the first time in a very long time. Sure, she did still feel at home when at home in Lima or at the loft with Kurt, but this, right next to Quinn, was another kind of home. The kind of home that you marry on a Saturday in the summer of a year. She smiled, and she could feel herself falling deeper and deeper until she was asleep next to Quinn.
Quinn woke up the morning after with half her body mostly on Rachel whose arm was under her head. The warmth was perfect and welcoming. The skin to skin contact filled her with so many emotions she could barely comprehend them all at once. Rachel was so warm, so… so, she couldn't explain. Just so… all she ever wanted.
She laid there awake and more comfortable than she'd ever been for an hour or so until Rachel started to move and wake up. Quinn moved to give Rachel the space to turn to her.
"Morning." Quinn said softly with a smile. Rachel, still with her eyes closed, hummed with a smile, stretching a little before she opened them to look at the ever so stunningly beautiful woman in front of her.
"Morning." Rachel finally said, putting an arm around her and moving closer. The skin to skin contact took her by surprise as she very distinctly remembered not taking off her shirt, but as it set her whole body on fire she didn't complain. It was perfect. Quinn was perfect. They were perfect.
"Coffee?" Quinn wondered simply, resulting in Rachel pulling her, almost impossibly, closer and closing the distance in a kiss.
"You, Miss. Fabray, just won my heart in all the ways I thought you'd already won it in." she whispered still so close as their lips were touching and breathing same air. Quinn definitely didn't want to get out of bed now. She dragged herself out and put on her oversized nightshirt, leaned to Rachel and kissed her on the nose. She walked away only to stop in the doorway and snapping her fingers.
"Right. There's another one of these in the drawer." she said with a smile and made her way to the kitchen to make coffee.
While Quinn made coffee, Rachel could feel the butterflies invading her stomach with all the joy she could ever feel. She moved the comforter as she got out of bed and looked around the drawer for another oversized shirt. When she put it on, it was almost ridiculous just over oversized it looked.
She walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where Quinn was already leaning against the counter with a cup in her hand. She picked up the other cup by her side and handed it to Rachel who leaned against the counter next to Quinn.
"I was thinking. There's a new little bookshop opening today, thought we might go look around there today. If you're up for it." Quinn asked, looking at Rachel as she sipped her coffee.
"Yeah, sure. Just as long as you promise to make me coffee for the rest of the week." Rachel said and smiled while she too sipped her coffee.
"Deal." Quinn chuckled. She took another sip at her coffee.
"Really? Now?" Quinn sighed and looked at Rachel when someone knocked on the front door. "I'll be right back when I've dealed with this moron who think it's okay to ruin a great morning." she smiled before walking away to open the door, leaving Rachel alone again to sip her coffee in the kitchen.
Quinn felt suckerpunched when she opened the door to the two smiling people who attacked her with hugs. Even when the woman exclaimed "Quinnie!" she had a hard time actually believing her eyes.
"Mo- mom. Dad. Wh-what… here?" she tried, failing to form any full functioning sentences.
"To see you of course. We thought we'd take a weekend off to come here and see you while also having some relaxing time." Russell said with a huge grin on his face as he made his way through the door. Judy followed. When Quinn closed the door and turned around, still in utter shock, she realised just who was in her kitchen, and what exactly she was wearing.
"This isn't… it's a really bad time. Puck's- he's really sick." Quinn muttered, still failing at forming complete sentences.
"Nonsense." Judy laughed, making her way into the place, while Russell was looking around her bedroom across the hall.
"No, really. He's really sick. I've even tried and not leave the place to not accidentally spread whatever he has." she said forcing her father out of her room and closing the door, while the thought hit her that that was the place to be since it was not the kitchen.
"Well, then let me see the boy so…" Judy started making her way to Puck's door before Quinn stepped in front of her.
"No, no, trust me you don't want to go in there. It's horrible. Anyway, he's a grown man, he can't take care of himself." she said as Puck hadn't been home for days.
"What the hell?" Quinn could hear her father snarl. She sighed and closed her eyes, her mother walking over to Russell. "Oh, hello." she greeted.
"Uhm- h- hello." Rachel replied. Quinn could feel her knees weaken beneath her, and she had to steady herself at the wall while walking so she wouldn't fall into a big ball of Quinn. She made her way past Judy and Russell over to a chair and sat down. Rachel moved closer, hovering around her.
"Who is this?" Russell barked, pointing at Rachel. Both Rachel and Judy flinching. But not Quinn, after the years with him raising his voice with her she had learned when he would shout at her, or when he would clench his jaw so he wouldn't hit something.
"Rachel." Quinn said.
"Out!" He shouted at Rachel, moving over angrily.
"No!" Quinn shouted back at him, standing up so quickly the chair fell backwards. "You do not have the right to throw people out of my home!" she barked at him, and just as she imagined he clenched his jaw.
"I do if that person is corrupting my little girl!" he argued, once again pointing at Rachel. Quinn could see his eyes turn darker and darker, and for the first in a long time, she was scared of him. If there was something she learned after moving away, it was that the man in front of her seemed like a nice man but he fed of fear from the people he saw as less. She learned to not fear the man, but still she found herself scared of him.
"There's no corrupting." she said calmly.
"This girl-" he started. "There's no corrupting!" she barked before he could finish.
"There's no corrupting. No matter what you think of me, you can't judge me like I've judged myself up until that I met Rachel. I've learned that not loving myself amounts to nothing and that you aren't right, and you don't have the right to say who I can love and not." she stated, brushing some stray strands of hair out of her eyes.
He looked right into her eyes and she could feel the goosebumps all over her body. Judy sheepishly touched his arm and said, "we should leave". He turned around hastily and walked out the front door, smashing it behind him. Judy stood in the same place resting her head in her hand. She opened her mouth to say something but sighed and turned around, calmly walking out and closing the door behind her.
Quinn turned to look at Rachel whose eyes had watered. She was surprised that hers hadn't done the same. As the realisation of the situation finally creeped up on her she quickly moved to hug Rachel who once again started to trace patterns on her back, and running her fingers along her spine.
"I'm free." Quinn said simply. "I'm free." she said again and backed away from the hug. "I'm free." she said once more, a smile spreading across her face.
"You're free." Rachel echoed, she too smiling.