Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I just enjoy playing with the characters.

November 4th, 1977; Library, Hogwarts; 7 PM.

As Severus Snape read the text in front of him, he felt rather uncertain. Uncertain of his feelings; uncertain of his emotions; uncertain of his own physical response. He looked over to the young woman sat beside him, and considered her for a moment. She sat there with her dark hair, long and curly pulled to the top of her head with a blue ribbon, her lips moving unconsciously fast as she worked through her arithmancy extra credit problems. With her hair messy, and her mouth moving in a frenzy, she was certainly a fearsome sight to behold. Nobody could deny her beauty or intelligence, even with her in such a crazed state. Yet, it was for those very reasons he was feeling so very uncertain. His uncertainty did not come from him attempting to deny his feelings for her, or his natural desires to her. No, he knew he would be a fool to even think to do such a thing. His uncertainty came from his feelings for another; his feelings for Lily.

His feelings for Lily were incomparable to his feelings for Helena. The major reason being that with Helena, his heart simply wasn't in it. His mind, his body, his magic, and perhaps if he ever been a religious person he would even go as far as saying – his soul, was in it without a doubt. But no, never his heart. Try as he may, he could not convince his heart to feel for her as he felt for Lily. Certainly he cared for Helena. Certainly he never wanted to hurt her, and wanted to keep her from everybody and anything that could ever do such a thing to her. But certainly, he did not love her. Not because he didn't want to, or because she was not worthy of it, but because he simply could not. At least, not like he loved Lily. Never like Lily.

He knew all this, but selfishly, he let the relationship progress. Selfishly, he did not want to give up the way she made him feel. She made him feel important; she made him feel whole. Really, it was the strangest thing to Severus. Touching her, kissing her, being with her, it all seemed so natural with her. What he tried to force with Lily, was so normal with Helena. So how could he give that up? How could he send her away, hurting her, breaking her trust? He couldn't, and so he wouldn't. Many of the relationships around him were built on trust and respect. It was considered luck if love ever came to be involved. No, he would keep her, and offer to her only the things that he could give. It would just have to be enough.

At least, that's what Narcissa tried to convince him of Halloween night after dropping Helena off at her common room. After what happened with Lucius that day, and the way she reacted so kindly to it, Severus had been somehow convinced himself throughout the rest of the day that perhaps he should break it off with her. When Narcissa heard what he was thinking, she nearly pummeled him. She made him promise to just give it time. He wasn't certain how much time would help, but perhaps Narcissa was right. Perhaps all he needed was a bit of time.

December 1st, 1977; Great Hall, Slytherin Table, Hogwarts; 12 PM.

"Will you be at the classroom tonight, Helena?" Warren Avery questioned, sitting across from her and Severus.

"Today's Thursday, remember?" she replied.

"Ah, yes, Thursday evening tea with your dear uncle Albus," he sneered.

"He's really not so bad, Warren, once you get to know him," Helena defended, knowing that her defenses would fall on deaf ears.

"If you say so, Helena," he said, before turning to converse with William Mulciber about quidditch.

"So who do you think you'll get for a partner for the end of year project? I know it doesn't start till after the new year, but I heard Professor McGonagall was going to be announcing partners by the end of next week," Narcissa asked Helena.

"I don't know. Pandora and I have transfiguration with the Gryffindors, and I heard she was going to pair up people from different houses to promote unity," Helena responded. "Hopefully none of the marauders."

Severus sneered. "It would be just like them, too. I bet you'll get paired with one of them, anything to make sure her little lions pass."

"Well, if either one of them think they could get partnered with me and give me all their work to do, they should think again. I won't do their homework. I won't," she said passionately. Seeing as there were six Gryffindors and only four Ravenclaws, the chances of getting one of them were very high.

Severus stabbed at the piece of fish on his plate, causing a loud clank. Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Oh don't worry, Helena. If they try to get you to do all the work, Severus here will just beat them up for you," she said sarcastically.

Helena chuckled, "Hopefully he won't have to."

"As long as you don't get Black, I'll be fine," Severus grumbled.

"I hardly think I can control that, Severus."

"If you say so, Helena," Severus replied dryly.

Helena rolled her eyes. "So, Cissa, have you picked out a dress for the New Year's ball?" she questioned, deciding it best to change the topic.

Narcissa's eyes lit up, and she clapped her hands with enthusiasm. "Yes! I found the PERFECT dress last night. My mother sent me a catalogue yesterday morning after I told her that I hadn't found one yet. I'll have to show you a picture of it sometime, when Severus," she stared at him pointedly, "isn't there to see it."

"I am sorry to disappoint you ladies with my presence. As you well know, Cissa, it is at the behest of your betrothed I do not leave you unaccompanied. Say the word and I will allow you girls some time to do whatever it is girls enjoy to do in their free time," he sneered.

"Oh stop it, Severus. She meant no offense to you," Helena admonished. "Cissa, I would love to spend some girl time with you! Just tell me when, and I'll be there."

"Oh, I so wish you were able to spend some time with me during Yule break! You know, Lucius told me I could invite you to stay at the Manor with me. Won't you consider it, Helena?" Narcissa pleaded.

Helena let out a huff. "I'm sorry, Cissa. I already told you, my mother is due sometime during break. I promised I would attend to her during her birth."

Narcissa grimaced. "I still don't understand why you would want to do that. Childbirth really is a nasty thing."

"Narcissa, we've already been over this," Severus said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Childbirth and rearing is an honor to Helena and her family."

"Well of course childbirth is an honor. Don't act like I won't fulfill what is required of me. Lucius will get his heir, and I will get my baby. It doesn't mean I want fourteen children and will insist for my own child to watch." Narcissa said offensively.

Helena's eyes widened. It wasn't like that's what she wanted to do, not at all. She couldn't imagine having so many children, but she wasn't against other people doing it if that is what they wanted to do, neither did she really appreciate the implied insult to her new family, not when they had done so much for her.

Severus slammed his hand down on the table. "Narcissa, you will be quiet!" he said impatiently.

Narcissa rolled her eyes, unbothered by his outburst. "What? You want fourteen sons, Severus?"

"Of course not," Severus said quickly. He turned to look at Helena who had been rather quiet on the matter. "It's just not done here," he said gently, thinking that perhaps his opinion would offend her.

"Why are you looking at me, Severus?" Helena questioned. "I never said I wanted that many kids."

"Oh, well I just assumed. . ." Severus trailed off.

"Well, you assumed wrong," she said defensively. "To my parents, to my tribe, fertility is a gift. Contraception is looked down upon, yes, but it's not prohibited."

"Oh," Severus said.

An awkward silence passed for a beat. "Well," Narcissa chirped. "Now that that is out of the way. . . Are you sure I can't convince you to come with me, Helena?"

"I'm sorry, but I really must be with my family."

Narcissa looked to be in thought for a moment. "Well what if she has the baby before New Year's? We have to be back here the fourth anyway, so what's leaving a few days early?"

"Th- There will be a lot to do with the new born, Cissa," Helena stuttered. "They don't just take care of themselves."

"Obviously," Narcissa said, rolling her eyes.

"Quit talking and start eating, Cissa. Lunch is almost over," Severus said, pointing towards the now mostly empty seats around them.

"Fine," Narcissa huffed.

December 1st, 1977; Headmasters Office, Hogwarts; 7:30 PM.

"Tea, dear?" Albus Dumbledore asked Helena, gesturing to the pot of freshly brewed tea set upon his desk.

"Yes, thank you, Uncle," Helena replied.

"So tell me, how was your week?" he prodded, pouring a cup for her and levitating it towards her.

"It's been well, Uncle," she said unconvincingly, stirring in a teaspoon of honey.

"Oh?"

She brought the cup to her lips and sipped. Placing the cup back on it's saucer, she let out a sigh. "Well, maybe not," she began. "Narcissa wants me to join her at Malfoy Manor for the New Year."

"Is that so? Well, I'm happy you are making such good friends," he said, the twinkle in his eye dulling softly, alluding to his disdain.

"I've told her that I cannot go, Uncle; you need not worry. But I guess I am a bit unsettled."

Uncle Albus let out a breath of relief. "Why is that, dear one?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she questioned. "It's because of him. He'll be there if I go."

"Ah, you speak of Tom Riddle."

"Yes, Uncle. I – I do not want to face him. I fear I cannot, yet also that perhaps I might have to at some point."

"Hm. . ." he said thoughtfully. "What makes you believe so?"

"Severus," she answered quickly.

"Ah, Severus. Yes, I would imagine that if you continue you – er, association with him, you might have to run into Tom a few times."

"How can you say that so casually?" she asked, distressed.

"I do not fear him, Helena, and neither should you," he said, peering over his half-moon spectacles.

"But I do," she said softly.

"That is understandable. However, it might be rather difficult to continue down the path you are now and be able to avoid Tom."

"But don't you understand why I'm scared to see him? What if he looks into my mind? What if he sees something I do not wish for him to see?"

Uncle Albus speculated for a moment. "I believe, if you are willing to trust me on this, that perhaps you do not need to be afraid of that. It is my belief that, given your special circumstances, no one will be able to see that which you do not wish them to."

"You believe I will be able to occlude, sir?"

"In a way, dear."

"What makes you draw that conclusion?"

"I cannot see what I want to see," he said.

Helena reared back. "You mean you have tried to look into my mind?"

"You cannot blame in old man for his curiosity, Helena."

"That's an invasion of privacy!" she exclaimed.

"I will not deny that, but it's really no matter. I only tried to see the outcome. I only tried to see what you already know."

"You should know I cannot tell you that."

"Yes, I suppose I should; however, even I can make mistakes."

"I'm well aware of that, Professor," she spat out harshly.

Albus Dumbledore looked taken aback before regaining his posture quickly. "I'm sorry, my dear, if I have hurt you in any way. I can assure you, it couldn't have been my intention."

"I would have to disagree, uncle. You have hurt many people with full intention to do so – for the greater good."

"Then the situation must have been grave, indeed."

Helena softened. "Yes, it was."

"Hmph. . . I know a dead end when I see one, dear. Perhaps we should get back to our original topic?"

"Of course," she said respectfully. "Regardless of his capability to see my mind, I do not know if I want to see him. I do not know if I can bear it."

"I believe you are a lot stronger than you think, dear one."

"Perhaps," she said thoughtfully. "Though I believe my original statement still stands. I will not spend New Year's with Narcissa."

"I believe your decision to be wise, Helena. I know Gabriel and Chemli will appreciate you staying for your full break."

"Yes, I do believe you are right," she agreed.

December 9th, 1977; Transfiguration Classroom, Hogwarts; 1 PM.

Helena slammed her textbook and stuffed her notes harshly into her book bag. Usually, she would recoil if she saw someone treating knowledge in such a way, but really she couldn't help it. How could this be happening? Why did she have to have him?

"Hey, Dumbledore," Sirius said smugly, peering of her shoulder.

"What do you want, Black?"

"Ah, so I'm Black now, am I?" he questioned.

"I'm only returning your pleasantries," she said sarcastically.

"Come on, Helena, I'm not that bad. Surely."

"You think too highly of yourself."

"You know, everyone seems to like you, and I just can't seem to understand why," he sneered. "You're a right bitch."

Helena's blood ran through her veins as if it was on fire. She turned around quickly, glaring fiercely at Sirius. "Is that how you speak to a lady?"

"Can you even be considered a lady when you're with a guy like Snape?" he bit back.

"What is up with you and Severus? The way you talk about him constantly makes it seem like you have some sort of crush on him," she said, breaking the mounting tension in the room.

Sirius scoffed. "I do not have a crush on him." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "You should know I only go for the ladies."

Helena rolled her eyes. "If you're referring to Marlene, I don't think you can really call her a lady."

"Ouch," Sirius said, grabbing at his chest sardonically. "Why so harsh, Helena?"

"Oh?" she questioned. "So I'm Helena know, am I?"

"Oh come on. Lighten up, would you?"

"For you? No," she said, turning back to grab her book bag. "I think not." She took a step closer to him. "Need I remind you that last time I had a full conversation with you, you left me crying, in the cold, for hours before anyone would come to find me?"

His facial muscles relaxed. "If it counts for anything, I am sorry if I hurt you."

"It's not IF you hurt me; you did hurt me. You practically insinuated I was a death eater!"

"Well I wouldn't have if you didn't keep company with the junior death eaters themselves!" he said defensively.

"Oh so I am guilty by association? By that logic, so are you!"

"I was disinherited for my beliefs! I don't associate with them anymore."

Helena deflated. "Look, it's obvious we're not going to agree on this. So let's do this instead. Let's just decide that the following day after we return for next term, we will meet at the Library after dinner, and discuss a meeting schedule for our project, yes?"

"A meeting schedule?" he questioned.

"Yes, a meeting schedule. I won't do all the work." He chuckled in response. "Stop that! I'm serious!"

"No, I am," he said jokingly.

Helena crossed her arms disapprovingly. "Does that usually work for you?" she said, pursing her lips.

"Usually," he admitted.

"Well not for me. If you want your name on the project, you have to do the work with me. End of discussion."

"Fine," he said, admitting defeat. "But it can't interfere with my quidditch schedule."

Helena rolled her eyes. "Fine. It won't."

"Good," he said. He turned to leave the room, sauntering over to the classroom door. "Have a nice break, Dumbledork."

"Ha," she said sarcastically. "Very original," she muttered.