Missed - Chapter Ten
Sarah is officially a missing person, after her family and several friends alerted the authorities to her disappearance. The police are certainly suspicious after her previous
status as a missing person, when Ana and her were confined together.
It's just another reason to add to Ana's fears as I see her terror increase daily. I watch her with the children when we are away from the house and she's on constant guard. Yesterday a guy came towards us in the park to ask for the time and she was so panicked that I had to take her home.
Olivia is so perceptive especially where her mother is concerned that she too is starting to fear going outside. I try to help her to feel more secure outside but with Ana constantly overreacting it's becoming an impossible task.
Today we're all going back on the boat and I can't wait, it seems to be the only place other than the house that Ana feels safe and I want her to relax. I think we all need to unwind and hopefully a day on the water will help.
I wake the children early and with Ana's help we're in the car, packed and ready before 9.00am. I smile to myself as I hear Olivia singing in the backseat as Teddy chats happily with Ana, for a fleeting moment I feel like we're a normal family again.
But as soon as we leave the car I sense Ana's uncertainly as we walk towards the boat and realise we still have a long way to go before normality returns.
We push us off from the dock and I steer us towards the horizon as Teddy shows Olivia around the Grace. She follows him everywhere only slightly weighed down by her life jacket, holding onto his hand as he takes her down to the cabin.
I watch Ana follow the children below deck and soon their laughter echoes beneath me and I yearn to follow it. Sadly I have to stay above deck and steer the boat on course.
After a short while they all reappear and Teddy runs over wanting to help me steer. I pass over the controls knowing he knows just what to do but I stick close to supervise.
"Daddy help," says Olivia as she runs up to me. I stoop down and pick her up then kiss her because I can't help but show my enthusiasm every time she calls me daddy.
I set her down and Teddy shows her the controls and even allows her to press a few buttons. After a while she seems to loose interest so Ana takes her to sit on the deck chairs and watch from a more comfortable position.
Eventually when Teddy's boredom threshold also weakens I suggest we drop the anchor and have some much deserved lunch.
"Can we fish later," asks Teddy as he tucks into his chicken sandwich.
"Sure," I reply, daydreaming whilst the boat gently bobs in the ocean.
After we eat Ana takes Olivia back down to the cabin for a nap and I start to prepare the fishing lines. Teddy watches me and offers to help so I pass over his little rod and allow him to bait his hook.
When Ana reappears both us men are immersed in fishing so she takes a book and rests on the deck chairs. I watch her relax and smile to myself at how content she seems today.
A lull soon settles on the Grace as the afternoon sun slowly sinks behind the clouds and peace reigns. I see Ana is falling asleep and even Teddy who loves to fish seems a little heavy-eyed. Then suddenly Ted's line jerks and he starts to holler excitedly as he tries to reel in it.
"Daddy I've got one, I've got one," he shouts and together we pull on the line.
All the excitement wakes Ana and she startles and jumps to her feet, the smile on my face quickly vanishes when I see her sudden fright.
Forgetting the fish I dash towards her and reassure her that everything is alright.
"Teddy's caught a fish," I explain softly.
"No I haven't," shouts my son indignantly and I realise too late that without my help the fish has swam away.
I walk back to him and see his little face hurt by my departure. "I'm sorry your fish got away, but there's still time and maybe we can catch another."
"I don't want another, I want that one."
"I'm sorry," I repeat but can see my son is not to be consoled.
"Why is mommy such a scaredy-cat," he exclaims loudly and immediately I feel myself getting angry.
"Mommy is very brave, braver than you will ever know," I shout and he jumps at my sudden change of tone.
"I don't like it when you shout," he says solemnly, getting up and walking towards the cabin.
"Don't wake your sister, stay up here," I tell him but he ignores me and walks down the stairs. I'm so angry now that I jump to my feet and dash towards him but before I can get to him I feel something holding me back.
"Let me go to him Christian, I think I need to explain why I'm always so jumpy and you need to calm down before you talk to him."
"No, he needs to do as I tell him. I won't have him wake Olivia with his bad mood."
"Christian I need to go to him please and besides it's time Olivia got up it's getting late."
Without another word I watch Ana descend then reappear a little later with a tired little girl with flushed cheeks.
"There you stay up here with Daddy I need to talk to Teddy for a bit." Ana explains as she deposits Olivia in my waiting arms.
Immediately my temper softens as my baby girl snuggles against me as she tries to wake herself up. Sitting in Ana's vacated chair and can't help but listen to the conversation below.
"Baby I know I've been a scaredy-cat lately but that's only because I'm still upset about what happened to me," I hear Ana explain.
I wait for Teddy to respond but I can't hear him, I'm thinking about going down to help when he finally speaks up.
"What happened," he asks softly.
"When I was taken away from you and daddy, I'm scared because I don't want them to take me away again."
"They can't daddy won't let them," says my son and I smile at him certainty.
"I know daddy will try to keep me safe just like he keeps you and Olivia safe but I can't help but be scared."
"Stop!" says Ted, so assuredly that I see just how alike we both are.
"I'm trying but it's hard sometimes."
"Then why did daddy say you were brave."
"I'm not sure, because I certainly don't feel brave but I think it's because I keep trying to overcome what happened."
"What's overcome?" asks Ted thoughtfully.
"It means that I try to beat it and move forward."
"Will you try harder," asks Teddy and suddenly I'm a little mad again at his choice of words.
"I will especially now because I don't want what happened to me to affect you or Olivia in a bad way."
I wait to hear Teddy say something and then he amazes me by his compassionate response.
"I'm sorry that a bad thing happened to you mommy."
I think I hear Ana's broken sob, then she manages a reply. "I'm sorry you lost your fish."
Then all I can hear is the ocean waves and Olivia sucking her thumb as I rock her on my knee. When they finally come back on deck they both seem a lot happier, Teddy is smiling and Ana looks strangely at peace.
When we get a spare minute alone she tells me what's changed.
"I think I'm ready now," she explains.
"Ready for what?"
"Ready to see someone, ready to get help and to finally put all this to rest."
Yesterday we celebrated Olivia's third birthday, I can't believe that my little girl is three and I've only really known her for these last six months.
Six months and in that time my whole world has changed for the better and so has Ana's and my son and daughter's. It's certainly been a tough few months and we've all had to make adjustments along the way but I wouldn't change a second of it.
I wake with a permanent smile on my face, I just can't get over how lucky I am to have my wife and daughter back with me.
Since the boat trip Ana has been seeing a therapist every week and it's amazing how much progress she's made. At first I suggested she see Flynn but Ana felt she couldn't be totally honest with someone who had such strong ties with myself. I can understand her reasons even though I rarely see Flynn much these days, not since Ana returned. I asked around and my mom suggested a therapist that works at the hospital, a woman who specialises in trauma counselling. I had Taylor look into her credentials and he found she had an exemplarily record and an excellent rapport with her patients.
Ana started seeing her almost immediately and after only a few short months she has really improved. Her fear has greatly diminished and a lot of the nightmares that plagued her have almost disappeared.
At Olivia's birthday party I found myself transfixed by my wife and daughter as I watched them happily play with Teddy and little Ava.
Ana looks so much better then the day I found her at that hospital. She's filled out a lot and although she's not quiet the weight she once was she has made a vast improvement since Canada. Her complexion has also developed and although Ana will always be a pale beauty she has lost that sickly, ghostly pallor.
My little girl has also blossomed and I'm so happy to see her face flushed with excitement and her cheeks rosy from the constant fresh air I expose her to daily.
They look the picture of health my two girls, no one would ever guess of their joint imprisonment and in Ana's case starvation that they endured.
Of course it being Olivia's first ever real birthday celebration I went all out, we had everything a little girl could wish for and a few they would never even dream of.
The whole family was present to celebrate and even Mia and Ethan got home in time for the party. Olivia received so many presents it got too much for her so half way through the party she had to have a nap. When she woke she was raring to go again and soon her and her cousin were happily running around while Teddy chased them.
When the party ended I carried a very sleepy girl to bed and I was amazed by the little smile that stayed etched on her face even in sleep. Ana was equally exhausted but she made sure to read to our son like any other night, desperate to make sure he knew he was just as special as our birthday girl.
That night I couldn't sleep I was so excited by the day, I kept running it over and over in my mind. Olivia's face when she unwrapped the dolly my mom and dad brought her. Teddy helping me set up for the day and his effort to make sure his sister had the best ever birthday, because he knew she had never had one before. Ana laughing when I kissed her lips and my mom capturing the moment with her camera. Every part was perfect and I can't wait to do it all again in six months time when Teddy turns six.