This chapter took me ages to write, seriously…Thanks for the reviews and for being patient with me.

And also, thanks for helping me out with my plot-issue. :D

Chapter ten: It's all in the past

Have you ever found yourself standing and looking out on the outside world and wishing it could slow down? Because your own life has its own pace and it's just so much slower than everyone else's.

You see people rushing by, living their lives, hurrying to avoid the oncoming rain, and yet you just stand there. After a while you can see the drops beginning to fall, watch as they slowly drench everything in reach, never caring if it's a person or a tree, and wishing it was you.

Wanting to feel the cold drips cover your skin. Rinsing away every trace of all the things that bother you. Feeling the tiny drops tracing your eyelids making you blink ferociously to keep them away but at the same time wanting them there.

And while you stand there, looking out on the world, something unexpected happens. Lightening comes. It startles you with its sudden flash and seconds later follow up with its echoing sound.

That was where I was at that moment. Standing in front of the window, longingly looking at all the people running to avoid the rain as it pours down. I wanted to go outside badly. I needed to feel the soothing sensation of the water on my skin. Why? It was just something that I always did when I had a lot on my mind. There was something about rain and lightening that calmed me down.

I jumped slightly as a second lightening flashed on the darkening sky. The sudden sound snapped me out of my current state and quickly sent me back to reality. I turned around and focused my eyes on the sleeping figure lying in the bed next to me.

She looked so peaceful, like she had no worries in the world, but once you looked closer her pale skin and the dark circles under her eyes gave her away. Suddenly it became apparent that she wasn't just sleeping.

I walked up to the bed and carefully took a seat next to Isobel. I placed my hand on top of hers and gave it a small squeeze hoping that it would wake her up. I knew the doctors had told me she would wake up on her own when she felt like it, but I couldn't stop myself form doing some mild persuasion. I just wanted to talk to her again, hear her voice and her laugh, the stupid small things I had gotten so used to over the last couple of months.

---

I looked up from Isobel when I heard a knock on the door, and noticed a doctor standing there. I quickly got of the bed and took his hand when he offered it to me.

'You must be Mr Judd' he said with a warm smile. 'I'm Doctor Brown; I'll be taking care of your wife from now on'

'Call me Harry; it's nice to meet you'

'Ok Harry, I'm going to do a quick check-up on Isobel and then I'll talk you through what's going on with her'

'Ok, I'll be out in the waiting-room when you're ready' I nodded and exited the room.

I walked down the white corridor until I reached the waiting-room and took a seat next to the window. I had gotten used to this place by now, even though I spent most of the time in Isobel's room, the nurses would sometimes send me out here.

I looked at the walls painted in a light yellow, it was probably supposed to be soothing, but I didn't feel it, to me it didn't work at all. It just made me more on edge and more nervous. After spending almost 20 minutes in there alone, I had just about gone through every possible sickness my head could think of. The not knowing was frustrating and although I wasn't sure I wanted to know what was wrong with Isobel, maybe actually hearing it would make it easier.

I looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching and seconds later a nurse came around the corner. 'Mr Judd?'

'Yeah, that's me' I said while standing up'

'Dr Brown would like to talk to you now, if you could just come with me here'

'Ok' I nodded and followed her back to Isobel's room. She stopped right outside it and left me alone with Doctor Brown.

'I've just finished the check-up and everything seems fine at the moment' he started. 'Her blood pressure is a bit low, but it shouldn't be a big problem'

'That sounds good, but what is wrong with her? Why did she faint like that?'

'I take it you don't know then'

'Know what?' I asked, louder this time as I didn't like what he was hinting at.

'I'm sorry, I just assumed, with you two being married and all, that you knew about her condition'

'Well, I don't, so will you please tell me what is wrong with my wife'

'Of course, let's take a seat over here and I'll tell you everything'

---

'When Isobel was 7 years old she was first diagnosed with leukemia'

'Leukemia, as in cancer? I asked shocked at what he just told me.

'That's right' he nodded before continuing. 'She was treated for it and after months of chemotherapy and radiation therapy she finally beat the disease. However, when it comes to dealing with cancer, there is always a chance of it coming back…'

'And that is what's happened now?' I interrupted him.

'We don't know yet, but it is a possibility that you have to prepare for'

'But…what about Isobel, does she know about this?'

'We gave her some medicine to help her sleep the other day, and she should be waking up shortly, but to answer your question, no, she doesn't know'

'Do I have to tell her?' I asked him not really wanting to hear the answer.

'No, I can do that for you if you wish, but in cases like this, many patients know the signs and may already be aware of something being wrong'

Doctor Brown spent another couple of minutes explaining everything to me before he left me to go back to Isobel. My mind was racing at this moment, trying to comprehend all of the new information, and I took a seat on the chair next to her doing nothing but staring into the air. I shifted my gaze from nothing and let my eyes rest on Isobel's sleeping form instead. It was hard to believe that something could be wrong with her, she looked normal to me, maybe a bit more tired than usual, but she didn't look sick.

After another couple of minutes I noticed her eyelids flutter slightly and she gently squeezed my hand. Isobel stirred slowly and seconds later she opened her eyes carefully, blinking away the bright lights that were trying to blind her.

'Hi' I said quietly while giving her a small smile.

'Hi' she replied with a hoarse voice.

'Do you want something to drink?' I asked her while standing up. When she nodded I poured her a glass from the jug standing on the bedside table and gave it to her. She took it with shaky hands and let out a small sigh of relief when the cold liquid calmed her dry throat.

'Thanks' she whispered and put down the glass again, motioning for me to sit down again.

'How are you feeling?'

'Pretty beaten up' she said with a small laugh. 'What happened?'

'You fainted and hit your head on the kitchen table, I think. I wasn't in the room when it happened but the doctors said it was probably the cause'

'Ok that explains the headache, any explanation for the fainting?' she asked me, looking at me expectantly.

'You don't have to do that' I admitted. 'I already know'

'I see' she nodded while looking out the window. 'How long was I out for?'

'About three days. It's been very boring here without you' I replied with a light chuckle.

'Three days? And you where here all the time?' she said with a surprised look on her face.

'Yeah'

'You didn't have to do that'

'Oh it was ok' I said honestly. 'The guys have been here every now and then, bringing me food and magazines, stuff like that'

'They really are your best friends, aren't they?'

'The best ones I could ever ask for' I started. 'Wow that sounded really cheesy'

To this Isobel only laughed. 'Well, cheesy or not, at least you were honest, and that's always good'

'I suppose that's right' I said and looked at my watch. 'I should go and get a nurse, to let them know you're awake'

'You do that, I'll be right here, doing nothing' Isobel replied with a smile.

I stood up and walked towards the door when the sound of her voice suddenly stopped me.

'I'm sick again, aren't I?'

I turned to face her before answering. 'They don't know yet, they still have some more tests to run before they know'

I heard her sigh before adding a quiet 'Ok'

---

'I just don't get it' I asked Isobel a couple of hours later. 'How can you be so calm about this?

'I don't know, I've lived with it for so long, and…I usually don't show other people how I feel' she admitted quietly.

'If you ever need anything, I'm here for you'

'Thanks Harry that means a lot to me' she answered with a smile. 'Come and sit here with me, I'm lonely and I know for a fact that those hospital chairs aren't that comfortable'

'Fine' I said with a fake sigh. 'If I must'

'You must, and that is an order' Isobel chuckled.

'If I do as you say' I continued while climbing into bed with her. 'Can I have some of your fries?'

'Hm, you might aswell. After all you were the one who smuggled them in here'

'Actually' I said as a light hint of red spread across my cheeks. 'It was mostly Dougie; he can sweet-talk anything on two legs, and I think he has a bit of a thing for the redheaded nurse at the front desk'

'Really?!' she said with a look of surprise. 'She is kind of cute I suppose'

'I haven't really thought about it' I said honestly which earned me a knowing look from Isobel. 'What?!'

'Come on Harry, she's a girl, of course you've thought about how she looks'

'I really haven't' I continued while putting my hands infront of me, trying to defend my self. 'I have my eye on someone else'

'Hm' she replied with a smug smile. 'Hm…'