Chapter 10

Ink

They had walked and walked in the early morning light. The city jutted up from the ground directly in front of them, tall buildings of shattered glass and steel reaching skywards. The industrial parks had dropped away, and cracked roads and torn down signs seemed to user them deeper inside the concrete jungle. Their trip had gone unmolested so far, without a sight or sound of human or infected save for a few distant gunshots. They pushed into a hiding spot in the shadow of a building, and Marcus pulled out the map. He traced his finger along it, and looked around for any still standing signs to clue them in on their location.

"4th Avenue and South Jackson…Well we're in Seattle now, that's for sure."

Ellie leaned in to look.

"Okay, so we're in. Do you know where he is, or do we have to comb though this entire fucking place?"

"This place is known for the Space Needle, right? Well I know Erikson, and he has a flair for the dramatic and grandiose. He'll be there."

She shook her head.

"That seems cliché."

He gave a shrug.

"He's a man who likes a view. Hell, it's the best view in this city if the stories are true. If he isn't there, he'll be in the next tallest building."

She rolled her shoulders, situating her backpack, trying to get it sit comfortable on her back.

"Alright, so how do we get there?"

Their attention turned back to the map, and a route jumped out at them. She saw Marcus quickly cover a grey square with his thumb, and a glint appeared in his eyes.

"This'll do nicely. And we've got to make a slight detour. You'll like it, trust me."

He stood up, folding the map back into his pocket before peaking around the corner. A deserted street greeted him, though the gunshots were becoming more frequent. They began walking, hugging the sides of the buildings, presenting as small a set of targets as possible. Complacency killed. The buildings grew taller and taller, shadowing the streets with their presence.

Ruined husks of cars lined and crowded the streets, many with the decayed bodies of their owners still at the wheel. A ping sounded on the hood of one nearby, then another and another. The rain had begun again. Great, Ellie thought. As if she wasn't cold enough already.

At each intersection Marcus would dart across first, pushing himself against the wall of the next building and turning to cover Ellie. No one shot at them yet, though it was becoming disconcertingly obvious that they were not alone. She just hoped they weren't being watched. Gunfire echoed nearby, and Marcus pulled her down to the concrete as they heard a runner's shriek cut off. They could hear voices echo off the buildings.

"For Christ's sake, how many times do we have to say no headshots before you actually listen?"

"Hey man, that shit was trying to get chompy on me. I'm not dying for your fucking science project."

Marcus crawled towards a car, Ellie close behind, and the voices got even closer. The rain picked up, muffling the sounds of Marcus gently opening a rusted car door to hide inside. Ellie shut it behind her, and they peered through the cracked glass for the owners of the voices. The car smelled of rot and death. Neither of them was willing to look at what was in the front seat. Several men rounded the corner ahead. Two were in the dress of hunters, a wild matching and pairing of equipment clinging to their bodies. The third was different, and clearly in charge.

Worn boots and ragged fatigues framed the man, and a military vest complete with bullet proof plates clung snuggly to his body. He held a rifle in one hand, and a walkie-talkie in the other. Marcus seemed to prickle at the sight of him.

"Command, two-five here. Sweep of fourth and Columbia complete. One infected put down hard…yes, I realize we told them not to…no…yes command, put down permanently. Continuing sweep, heading to third. Out."

They began to walk, getting closer to the car as they crossed the intersection. Ellie cautiously watched them, studying the men intently. A tiny detail stood out to her on one of the hunters, and she bit her lip, a sudden anger welling up in her. The man had a Firefly insignia tattooed on the side of his neck. Marlene's face burned in her mind, and Ellie only felt a quiet shame at what the Fireflies had become. They used to stand for something. That trip across the country must have changed them. Hell, it had changed her.

The patrol moved on, Marcus and Elli remaining in the car for several minutes. He looked back at her.

"You see that tatt-'"

She cut him off, "Yeah."

He pushed open the door, and got out, turning around to lend her a hand. He spoke as he hauled her out into the rain.

"Well it looks like we both have some bad parts of our past here, doesn't it?"

She let him carefully drag her out, and she turned to force the door closed. The silhouette of two bodies occupied the front seats. The passenger clutched at something in its hands, wrapped in a bundle of blankets. The smell seemed to get worse, even through the closed-door. She stood in the freezing rain, staring at the blankets. Marcus studied their surrounding, turning back to see her still in the middle of the street, fixated on the bundle. He walked up behind her, putting his hands on the sides of her arms to steer her away. Her voice stopped him.

"What did they do to deserve whatever happened to them?"

She turned around and pointed at the car.

"Whoever these people were. What did they do to deserve dying in their car as they ran from the end of the world? What did that baby do to only deserve living a few months of life?"

He took her gently by the arms, not moving her, simply squeezing them gently.

"Ellie you're asking questions no one has the answer to. Life is nothing but why's anymore. Why'd they die? Why'd we ever get born? Why do we deserve to live? Why, why, why. Why anything? You've got to make your own answers. You know, maybe the guy beat his wife. Maybe she was cheating on him. The kid…shit, maybe it was sick and dying anyway. Or maybe the world is just a scarier place then they ever thought, and it took the world falling down around us to remind us we're not really in control."

She looked down at the ground, then up at him, her eyes dark and thoughtful.

"Why do we deserve to live? What the fuck makes us so special that we get to stand here and wonder these things?"

The rain continued to pour down around them. Marcus shivered, Ellie didn't. She simply stared at him, her eyes searching for an answer.

"We…we were born into an angry world Ell. We've both done some shitty things in the name of survival. But, you know, that doesn't have to define us. I realized that. So maybe we're alive now to make sure everybody else stays that way too. Jackson – Joel, Tommy, Maria…holy shit I never thought a place like that could exist. After everything I'd like to think we were born so we can get one step further away from survival and one closer to living. We only have the purpose we give ourselves, or choose to accept."

She remained silent, and he spoke again.

"You're scared, aren't you?"

She finally shivered in the downpour, shooting a glance back at the car.

"I'm alive. That doesn't bother me. But what the hell do I do with it? I'm alive but I don't know what to live for."

"You live for yourself, for the people who matter to you, the dreams you've got. Shit Ellie…you survive today and live for tomorrow. What else can you do?"

She chewed her lip, running a hand though her soaked hair. Strands stuck to her face, winding down like small cracks on a weathered statue.

"The Fireflies lived for tomorrow, for a dream. Now look at them. No better than anyone else. Maybe even worse."

"Yeah but it's about how you go about it. I could say the same damn thing about where I came from. They only wanted peace. They just chose war as their way to get it. Look, dreams are what you make of them. And how you go about them matters. Shit Ellie, that's like me saying I love you, so I'm just going to kill you so I never have to worry about losing your love. See how fucked that is? They saw that dream, and decided 'hey, let's save people. But we got to save them our way, and anyone who doesn't like that way is obviously the enemy. Live and let live? Fuck that, they live our way.'"

He gently laid a hand on her cheek, moving some of the strands of hair out of her eyes as he gently pulled her with his other hand.

"C'mon Ell. We've still got that detour to see before things get heavy."

He gave her a weak smile, leading her away from the car. They moved from intersection to intersection, Ellie letting him lead her by the hand as they darted across the open, lifeless areas. He stopped her, pushing her into the shadows, wearing a smile.

"We're almost here. Fuck I hope it's in one piece still."

She raised her eyebrows.

"What? What in the world do you have to show me?"

"It's not what it is, it's what's inside. And it's a surprise. Once we get there close your eyes. I'll carry you in."

She shrugged, tossing her hands up in bemusement. He got like that sometimes. She motioned for him to lead on, and he scanned the area before dragging her out of cover. The building was impressive. Glass and steel wove together at inspiring angles, far removed from the barren rectangles of skyscrapers that walled them in. Panes of glass were broken here and there, though the building forcefully clung to its modernist dignity. She had never seen something like it before. He turned to her, his smiled widening as she stared up at the structure.

"Eyes. Close 'em. "

She obliged, and she felt herself be hefted up, one hand on her back, the other behind her knees. She reflexively wrapped and arm around his neck, and felt him move forwards. They bumped into something, and she felt him twist and grab at something. A door opened, and the feeling of rain dropped away as they walked inside. She could hear the drum of the weather on the glass roof, though miraculously it had remained intact throughout the years. He set her down on the floor, telling her to keep her eyes shut, he'd be right back. She heard his steps echo as he walked away, followed by a thud and grunt, and the sound of something being dragged. She was hefted up again, and found herself being dropped into a chair, the fabric soaking itself in the water that clung to her frame. He walked behind her, and covered her eyes with his hands.

"You ready Ellie?"

She couldn't help but giggle at his build up.

"Yeah, yeah Romeo, let me see already."

She felt him kiss the back of her head, whispering "this one's for you baby."

The hands moved, and her eyes widened and her mouth opened. She saw the shelves a few floors above. Books. Hundreds and hundreds of books. She looked around the grey lit interior, taking in the feel of the building, and her spirits seemed to soar. Books! Marcus walked in front of her, causally throwing his arms out, grandstanding.

"I had a hunch that the last thing people would care about when the world ended was books." He looked at her, seeing her eyes take in everything. He smiled wide at her, laughing, "I've never been happier to be right."

She pushed herself up, and walked towards the stairs. He followed, and they climbed till they reached a floor with shelves upon shelves of dusty, lonely books, hallowed in the grey, antiseptic light. She began to walk down an aisle, her head spinning. She turned to him, her cheeks flushed, and he laughed as she simply shook her head.

"How…why?"

He walked towards her, taking her hands in his. A thoughtful look entered his eyes.

"Because I love you Ell. You were crazy enough to want to follow me in on this thing. Why wouldn't I try to make you happy along the way. And it worked – someone left their doom and gloom at the door."

All she could do was shake her head in disbelief, and he laughed again.

"Holy cow…this is…I don't even know. Did you know about this place earlier?"

He shook his head, leaning against the edge of a shelf.

"Nah. That's what maps are for. Good thing I noticed it. Look around, find some that you like. The way I see it, better we take them and read them then let some hunter walk through that's low on toilet paper. That'd just be sad."

Ellie turned in a small circle, still taking it all in. She had never seen so many books before. She felt like a complete child. She looked back at Marcus, and saw him moving his hands, shooing her away, mouthing "go on." He turned and walked down the stairs, concealing himself in the cold stairwell to guard the entrance. She had the books to herself.

"Now where to start?" She breathed, taking a few steps down the aisle, her eyes darting from dusty spine to spine.

Her mind was still reeling. She had scrounged and stolen books her whole life, never having more than a few at any time. She had felt like the luckiest girl in Jackson to have a meager stack of a half-dozen books, not counting her comics. And now…now there were more books then she would ever be able to read. Or carry back, for that matter. Her brow furrowed. How many could she cram into her backpack? She began to jog up and down the aisles, names flashing past.

Asimov, Alighieri, Bradbury, Dostoevsky, Heller, Huxley, Sagan…

Names upon names raced past her. She ran quicker and quicker, up and down each aisle, a wondrous smile splayed across her lips. She reached the end, and collapsed in a chair, breathless from the excitement. Books were another world to her. Marcus had just given her the universe.

She let out a silent laugh, standing back up and beginning to walk back down the aisles, pulling out book after book that caught her eye. The pile would grow higher and higher in her arm, and each time it became too hard to add more to the stack she would return to the chair, placing the stacks around it. She would pile up anything that looked interesting, and process of elimination would decide what she actually took. History, sci-fi, spy novels, every genre was at her fingertips. She continued to cruise up and down the shelves, her legs on autopilot as her hands shot out, seemingly at their own command, to snatch a book off the shelves. She returned yet another pile to the chair, walking back to where she had left off. Her hand shot out to grab another book, and she thumbed it open to a random page, quickly turning it over to glance at the title before reading from it. Her mouth moved to silently form the words.

"Fifty shades of….Whoa Nelly. Hello there." She reflexively giggled, her eyes darting across the words, blushing as she read. Now that was some intense stuff. She looked left, then right, self-consciously checking to make sure she was alone. The book was tossed into the pile cradled in her other arm. Worst case is she could read it and giggle till her stomach hurt. Best case…she giggled more. Can't teach an old dog new tricks. Good thing she wasn't old.

Ellie tried to pick out books both her and Marcus could enjoy, save for a few here and there that he wouldn't want anything to do with. His loss, she thought. She wandered back to the chair, now resembling a miniature fortress of books. She sat down, picking each one up and sorting them into piles of things she wanted to read, and things she really wanted to read. She got up, and walked towards the librarian's desk. She needed something to put them in, or they'd just get soaked ten minutes after she stepped outside. She searched the drawers. A large plastic bag stood out at her. Jackpot.

She began pushing book after book into the bag, filing it as much as she could before tying it closed and forcing it into her backpack. It fit, but only just. That was fine by her. She collapsed in the chair, closing her eyes and letting the library soak into her. She breathed deep, the scent of ink and pages standing out to her. Her mind continued to uncoil, and she felt centered. Her body followed suit, her muscles relaxing at some unknown command, and she sunk into the chair, drifting off into a peaceful nap.

The dream drifted past her like a soft cloud painted amongst the sky. She heard Joel's voice, the rhythmic drawl comforting.

Ellie. The rhythm still resembled a grandfather clock ticking.

Ellie. Again, she began to feel so very tired. She was pillowed among a bed in a field, the sheets white and soft against her. A cool breeze flowed over her.

Ellie. She drifted off, the world comfortably falling away from her.

"Ellie." Her eyes opened, and Marcus was hunched next to her, gently shaking her by the shoulder. She stretched and yawned, and he smiled at her.

"Hey there sleepyhead. Enjoy the nap?"

She looked around her, the world still bathed in grey light. She stretched again as he stood up, and she pushed herself up in the chair.

"Shit, how long have I been out?"

A grin tugged at one side of his mouth, and he extended a hand to her, hauling her to her feet.

"Only an hour. Don't sweat it. You needed the nap from the looks of thing. Feel better?"

She nodded, gently grabbing him by the collar of his jacket and pulling herself towards him. She pressed her lips against his, holding the kiss long enough for his arms to wrap around her. She broke it, and pressed her head against his chest.

"Thank you. For this, all this. Thank you."

He gave a laugh, seemingly unsure of what to say. She felt him shift his weight from one foot to the other, and he pushed her far enough away so their eyes could meet. He smiled down at her, before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Anytime Ell."

He nodded towards the stairwell.

"Think you can watch the entrance for a minute. There's a book I want to grab while I'm here. I'll only be a few."

She nodded, picking up her backpack heavy with books, and moved down the steps, checking the action on her rifle as she sat down on the cold stairs, watching the door. She heard Marcus thumping around up above, and smiled to herself. Love was a crazy thing.

He returned a minute later, and she looked up at him.

"Find it?"

He smiled triumphantly, patting his zipped up backpack.

"Found it."

She grinned, her fingers tapping a lazy rhythm against the butt of her rifle. He walked past her, down into the lobby. He approached the door and opened it, the ever-present sounds of rain trickling in. She stood up and jogged down to him, and he opened the door wider, ushering her out.

"Ladies first."

She snickered, giving his arm a playful smack before taking a deep breath and preparing herself for the cold of the outside. She stepped over the threshold, and gunfire sounded in the distance. The safety of the library dropped away, and she slid her mental walls up, sheltering the glow of happiness the multitude of books had brought. This place wouldn't take that from her. Marcus brushed past her, taking the lead, turning his head to catch her eye before nodding in the direction they had to go. She rolled her shoulders, feeling the spines of the book press against her back, her fingers clutching the worn wood of her rifle. She followed him as he began to jog down the waterlogged street.

A/N:

So I've been struck by a case of the writer's block for the last chapter. Not so much a case of what I want to say as opposed to how I want to say it. I still have a few days worth of chapters to post, and hopefully inspiration will strike me soon and I can crank it out in one sitting, but I really want it to be as good as it can be. Keep those reviews, comments and favs/follows rolling in, they've given me quite a bit of motivation! As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!