TARA'S POV

The serenity of the empty house should have been enough to let me drift off to sleep but instead every time I close my eyes the events of my abduction and rescue play on repeat in slow motion. I can't shake it away. Giving up on sleep, I decide to head to the clubhouse and see if Donna's there waiting on Opie to get finished working.

The clubhouse is quieter than I expected, the past few times I've drove by it they had a party going on.

"Hey girl." I sit down next to Donna who's reading a book over in the corner of the room away from the few people who are wandering around.

"Hey. I figured you'd be at home catching up with Jax." She waggled her eyebrows, "bom chicka wowwow." She chuckled.

"Shut up, there hasn't been any bom chicka wow wow yet. Actually he dropped me off and said he had some stuff to take care of here."

"Are you sure he said here because I've been here all night and haven't seen him?" She laid her book down in her lap, yawning and stretching her arms out in front of her.

"I don't know, I thought that's what he said." I shrug. "Where's Opie? Usually you two are all over each other about this time."

"Yeah, I know, Jax is cutting into my time," she giggled and rolled her eyes playfully, "he's with Half-Sac doing something that Jax asked."

"Is that the prospect?" I freeze, I'm still a little unsteady with names but things are starting to become a little clearer.

"Yep."

"Is it something medical?" I ask, really hoping that Jax wasn't lying to me.

"No, he said it's club stuff…why?" The shift in my expression but have alarmed her because I had her full attention now.

"SONOFABITCH!" I growl and dial Jax's number.

"Tara, what is it? What's wrong?" Donna placed her hand on my arm, starting to worry about whatever had me this upset.

"He's a lying asshole just like everyone else I've ever known. That's what's wrong. Can you do me a favor and call Opie and see where they are. Jax isn't answering."

"Okay, but first tell me what's going on?" She had her phone in her hands but she still stared at me waiting for an answer.

"Just make the damn phone call, I'll explain in the car," I groan in frustration, "please." I add.

"Fine." She did as she was asked. "Voicemail too, now explain."

"When he found me, he was going to hurt Jace or worse, but I told him if he did that then I wouldn't have anything else to do with him. He told me he let him go. I watched him leave, but then he whispered something to his prospect and then the prospect left behind Jace…" I paused letting her draw her own conclusion.

"Damn," she shook her head, "if they have Jace somewhere, I know where they might be. Come on."

She pulled into a lot with an abandoned barn, sure enough several of the bikes including Jax's are there.

"Someone's here bro." A gruff voice calls out; I recognize it as the guy who wouldn't let me go earlier.

Jax steps outside, saying he looked stunned would be the understatement of the year. "Babe? What are you doing here?" He looked from me to Donna who climbed out of the car arms crossed matching mine.

"Where is he?" I scowl at him, I'm not in the mood for games and I'm hoping that he gets that message loud and clear.

He stepped forward toward me, "Babe, you need to understand something…"

"NO!" I shout, a few of the other guys including Opie stood watching the showdown between Jax and me. "You lied to me. That's all I need to understand. You're just like every other male in my life. A liar. Now .HE?" I grit my teeth.

"You're right. I lied. I'm sorry for that. I couldn't let him walk away after the things he did to you." He stepped toward me again, but I backed away.

"Is he dead?" I choke out, reality slapping me in the face.

"No, he's fine. See for yourself." He motioned toward the doors. "I had planned to kill him, but you stopped me." He held up a finger to silence me when I started to speak, "not by showing up here. You stopped me in the car when you thanked me for putting your peace of mind above my need for justice. I came here to let him go and tell him how easy it was to bring him here in the first place, a reminder that if he ever comes near you or does anything to hurt you or your job, he will die."

I walk around him and see that he was telling the truth, Jace is fine, he looks extremely uncomfortable and afraid being surrounded by so many bikers but he's not bleeding and he doesn't look like he's in pain.

"We had two different upbringings babe. You didn't grow up in this world of violence. Defending those I love, by whatever means necessary, is all I know."

Did he just say he loves me in a roundabout way? I'll figure that out later. "You don't know shit about my upbringing. I have seen violence and I've seen an innocent person murdered due to the need to retaliate over something stupid. My mother was murdered the night of my ninth birthday, and I watched it happen, so I know all about violence." I angrily wipe the tears from my eyes.

All eyes on the lot were on me, waiting for me to explain. "Let him go."

Jax nodded to his guys and Jace was released. "This is the only warning you'll get. Stay away from her, don't even talk about her, believe me…I'll know if you do."

Jace nodded as he rushed from the barn and Jax's attention was back on me.

"I think we have a lot to discuss. It's clear I don't know anything about your past." Jax stepped toward me, his hands up, walking slowly like he was approaching a wild animal.

This time I didn't back away, "You still lied to me."

"I'm sorry babe. This is all new to me. You make me want to be different than the man I've been; the man I've been raised to be. I want to be someone you're proud to be with but this lifestyle it's who I am. I make mistakes, I fuck up a lot, but I need to know you can accept me for who I am not just who you want me to be. I can promise you this, from this moment on, I'll be nothing but straight up with you. I shouldn't have lied, but I needed to make sure he didn't hurt you again, but I didn't go through with it as much as I wanted to. We have a lot of shit to work through, but I'm willing to try babe, if you are."

I could see the truth in his words. He was being sincere and he was right, he was raised to protect others no matter the cost to someone else. Violence is in his blood. If we go through with this relationship, it will definitely take effort, his need for violence and my aversion to it will probably be the biggest battle we will ever face.

"Okay," I nod, "never lie to me again. As you can see, I'll figure it out if you do." I smirk, using some of the words he used with Jace.

"You should have been a detective instead of a Doctor." He winks and pulls me into his arms. I let him hug me to his chest, I feel him place a kiss to the top of my head.

The rest of the guys left, I figured most of them were waiting around to see if I would give any details of my past but when it was obvious that wasn't going to happen, they took off too.

"So are you going to tell me about your ninth birthday?" He whispered.

I sigh and bite my lip, "Later, but I do have one question," I smirk. "Did you say you loved me earlier?"

He tilts his head to the side and grins at me, "what are you talking about?"

I imitate his voice the best I could-not even close-"defending those I love, by whatever means necessary, is all I know."

"I guess you'll have to wait and see." He winks, giving nothing else away.

I climb on the back of Jax's bike and wrap my arms around him, resting my head on his back. I know he and Donna are wanting the details of my past, they have a right to know, but it doesn't make it any easier to talk about.

If he's ever going to understand my side of things, the reason I hate violence, then I don't have a choice but to tell him. I make up my mind, when we get back home, I'll tell him…everything.

Authors note: dundundun… I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next will explain her past.

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