I walked in to the kitchen, my mom was preparing some veg for dinner.
"hey Bailey! Where have you been all day?" She asked happily.
"just... At the mall, hanging out with some girls from uni" I lied.
"sounds nice... grammi and gramps are in the garden, you should go and say hi" she smiled.
"mom... After dinner when they have gone could we chat about the adopted crap?" I asked softly, trying to not cry.
My mom put her veg knife down and looked at me with despairing eyes.
"of course we can honey... Are you okay?" She asked.
"not really, just feel things are getting on top of me mom" I said and started crying.
"oh Bailey cmon... I wish I could fix everything... I love you honey." She said giving me a squeeze.
"how come grammi and gramps are here anyway, its not Christmas" I smiled wiping away stray tears
"dad has some big news" she replied.
I groaned. "I hate big news"
"its good news Bailey" she insisted then picked her knife up again and began chopping up carrots.
I walked out to the garden and greeted my grandparents. They were ancient.
"Bailey-Grace look at you" my grammi said smiling away.
"hey grammi" I replied giving her a gentle hug.
"I have something for you" she said beaming away then rummaged in her pocket. She pulled out a dollar and handed it to me.
I smiled at her, she always did this every time I saw her, she had done for as long as I remembered.
I said hi to my dad and my gramps. We chatted for a while. I sat in a chair in the garden, mostly day dreaming about Los. I checked twitter out with a big smile, reading all the tweets from my fellow rushers... If only they knew what my weekend had been like. Carlos had tweeted "life throws some amazing things my way" it read.
I favourited it.
once dinner got underway I was feeling very uneasy.
"well tom what's this news then" my gramps said finally as no one else seemed to be mentioning it.
My dad smiled and looked at my mom. "well... I did want to say a few weeks ago but I wanted to wait until it was all confirmed.. I've been offered a fantastic opportunity to work in Japan... Its only for 3 months but the pay is more than I would earn in a year" he said.
"well that's amazing tom!" My grammi said.
"your leaving for 3 months?" Was all I said.
"it will go really quickly Bailey" my mom said smiling.
"but you can't just leave dad... We need you here... I need you" I said getting emotional.
"think of how our lives will change with the money Bailey-Grace" my dad said.
"think about how my life is changing right now dad!" I said slamming my fist on the table.
"Bailey calm down, its only a few months" my mom said.
"oh she is okay" my grammi said to my mom "she is just like you dear when dad went away to sea" she finished.
"what?!" Just like her?... What do you mean just like her? she isn't even my fucking mother!" I yelled.
"BAILEY-GRACE GET TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW!" my mother screamed at me.
I burst in to tears and ran upstairs. I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed.
I reached my hand over to the good luck card that lay by my bed and dialled the number that Carlos had left for me.
"s'up" came the friendly voice at the end of the phone.
"Carlos..." I cried out.
"Bailey? Baby girl what's wrong?" He said softly.
"my dad is going away... Its the worst time for him to go... Why are they doing this to me" I wailed.
"oh baby... Where is he going, are you're parents splitting up?" He asked.
"no he is going to work in Japan for three months. Carlos I can't cope with all these changes. Why is everything going wrong now?" I sobbed.
"Bailey listen its not going wrong its just times change, that is all. How long is he going for? Are you really close?" He asked.
"yeah, I'm really close with both my parents, I've never been away from them ever. He is going for 3 whole months Los. I'm going to miss him so much" I cried.
"I know it sounds bad now... Bailey when I first left Florida to come to LA I was so scared, but you do get used to new things. it will be okay I promise... I don't want you on your own like this... Call your friend Dale" Carlos said down the phone.
"no I don't want to talk to him. I just don't want things to change. I was so happy a few weeks ago, now I have no clue about my own life." I replied just as my bedroom door knocked and my mom walked in.
"I'm going to have to go, I will call you later okay" I said to Carlos.
"okay Bailey. I'm worrying about you" he said.
"I'm sorry... Speak soon" I replied.
"bye Bailey" Carlos said.
"bye" I replied.
"was that Dale?" My mom asked.
"no... Just a friend" I lied.
"Bailey I know things are extremely hard for you right now but I won't allow you to speak like that. Especially in front of your grandparents... I can't believe you did that" she said gently, reliving the moment in her head.
"I'm sorry... I just get so angry. Why is dad going? We are doing okay with his job that he has and your job is good... He doesn't need to leave us" I said getting emotional.
"Bailey-Grace we need the money. Financially we are struggling but dad doing this is going to get us back on an even keel... What did you want to know about the adoption honey" she then asked.
"I can pay rent!... I'm earning now" I said ignoring the adoption chit chat for just a moment.
"it wouldn't make any difference Bailey... Look I don't want to worry you with our money problems... What did you want to know about your real mom?" She asked.
I looked at my mom for a second, she was kind looking, and all these years I had it drummed in to me that I had her eyes, everyone said it, but all those people were either dumb or lying. We weren't even related.
"your my mom... I don't want to know anything about the other woman" I explained to which my mom looked confused. "I want to know about my sister... Is it true I have a twin?" I asked bluntly.
My mom looked shocked that I had found this out.
"did you find her?" She asked.
"no Dale went snooping and found her" I revealed. "it is true then? I'm a twin?" I asked.
my mom took my hand. "yes, it is true. Bailey let me tell you what happened... You ready?" She asked.
I hitched my knees up and nodded
"your dad and I used to live in Georgia, when we got married we tried for years to start a family but tests eventually told me that I couldn't have any children. We looked in to adoption, we visited countless children and babies but it was only when we were told about you in Atlanta that I felt you were the one." She said getting emotional.
Watching her get upset made even more tears stream down my face.
"you okay?" She asked me.
I nodded "carry on" I said.
"your dad and I knew it was twins before we met you both. I knew from the first moment that I wanted you Bailey... I wanted both of you. Splitting up twins its a terrible thing. I was happy to take both of you, I went home so excited, but 2 weeks later when your dad and I travelled back to pick you both up, it was only you left!" She said then began really crying.
"why" I asked shocked.
"there had been a mix up with paper work so I was told. Your sister had been adopted just after I had visited you both for the first time, they refused to contest it saying it was in the best interest of the baby to leave her where she was settled. I cried so much Bailey, I was heart broken... I wanted you both, I had decorated the nursery for twins, had clothes for twins, I had even picked out both your names" she said, her voice shaking.
"what would you of called her?" I said, my face completely soaked with tears.
My mom looked up and gave me a smile "one of you would of been Bailey, and the other would have been Grace" she said then gave me a hug.
I really cried on my moms shoulder, all this time she had been fighting all this heart ache. Every time she called me my name she was reminded that it shouldn't be like this.
"is she still in Atlanta?" I asked pulling away from her caring hug.
"I don't know Bailey... I swore to myself that I wouldn't go looking for her, its so strange... I feel that you are 100% my baby girl, I'm not sure how I would feel if I met her... She isn't my baby girl Bailey, even if she is your twin" my mom said.
I tried to get my head around how she felt about this. It must be so complicated.
"why did my birth mother just give up on us?" I eventually asked, curiosity had got the better of me.
"I never met your real mom, but I was told that she was just 18, she had been having an affair with a married man. He was a captain in the air force, refused to leave his wife and left your mom to deal with the pregnancy. I think twins was just too much for her Bailey-Grace" my mom finished.
I sat in silence.
"I don't know what to do mom" I eventually said.
"that's something only you can decide Bailey" my mom said wiping her face.
"will you tell grammi that I'm sorry" I said and layed back down on my bed with my head on my pillow.
"course I will... Call me if you need me okay" she said giving my leg a pat then leaving the room.
I called Carlos again but he wasn't answering. I wondered what he was up to, I had a terrible feeling that my romance with him was going to be a short lived one as Scarlett wanted him back.
I felt like a lost soul as I lay on my bed. I didn't want to phone Dale, I wondered what he knew, I wondered if he had spoken to her, if he had a name for her, I wondered if she looked just liked me... I bit the bullet and called him.
"Bailey... You alright?" He asked.
"did you want to come round and chat?" I replied.
"sure I will be round soon" he said.
It was still fairly early evening when Dale arrived, he knocked on the front door, I wasn't allowed boys in my room so we sat out in the garden, my grandparents had gone home and my mom and dad were watching TV in the living room.
I told Dale all about my dad going away, and about what my mom had told me about my sister. He was really caring. He always had time for me.
"how did you find her?" I asked him.
"on a website for reuniting families... She knows about you Bailey, she has been trying to find you and your birth mom for a while... " He explained.
"she wants to find me? This is insane Dale. Does she look like me?" I asked.
"yeah she does, she looks just like you, she lives in Delaware"
"Did you contact her?" I asked nervously.
"no Bailey... that's your choice, I just wanted to find your mom, to see what her story was, this was a huge surprise... did you want to contact her?" He asked just as the sun went down.
"I'm not sure... Is she okay? Is her family nice?" I asked.
"I don't know Bailey, it only had limited info on the site" he explained as he played with a blade of grass in his fingers.
"Dale what's her name?" I asked him. My tears started up again.
"are you sure you want to know, cause this is when the facebook stalking and weird shit starts for you" he said warily.
"I'm sure I want to know... Just a first name... Then I can't get hung up on the stalking part" I smiled.
"her name is Gabrielle" he then said.
"Gabrielle... How strange... I have a sister called Gabrielle" I said more to myself.
"it is odd... But kind of cool" Dale said smiling.
It was kind of cool, I was pleased that she was trying to find me. I wondered if she was good at music too. I wondered what she was like. I checked up to the house to make sure my mom wasn't in the garden and grabbed a cigarette from my purse.
"fuck I've needed this all day" I said as I lit up.
"Bailey who was that guy that spoke on the phone earlier when you said you were in LA?" Dale then asked and looked at the ground as we sat on the grass at the bottom of my garden.
I looked up at Dale. I knew I was about to hurt him. I knew how he wanted me for himself.
"I need to tell you some things Dale but you have to promise to not tell anyone" I said quietly.
Dale sighed. "I promise Bailey-Grace... You have a boyfriend huh?" He said depressingly.
I nodded. "Dale... I'm fucking Carlos from big time rush" I said trying to hold my smile in.
"haha very funny!" Dale mocked.
"honestly... Its true, I've been chatting online to him, we met and we fucked... He asked me to be his girlfriend today" I said showing him my phone with the DMs from twitter proving I was talking to Carlos.
Dale looked up from the phone to me, his eyes serious "are you fucking insane Bailey?" He snapped.
"what? He is a really nice guy Dale, we get along really well... Don't be jealous" I said angrily.
"I'm not jealous Bailey! I'm worried... This guy is what... 30? He said looking at Carlos' picture.
I laughed.
"he is 23 Dale!" I said.
"do your mom and dad know your dating this guy?" He asked.
I shook my head as I put my cigarette out. "no, and they don't need to know just yet either" I stated raising an eyebrow then reaching in my bag for some chewing gum.
"your dad is going to go fucking insane if he finds out your sleeping with him" Dale said handing my phone back to me.
"I know... Listen there is something else... Carlos thinks I'm 19" I said quietly.
"oh Bailey... Your a fucking retard, you know that right!" He snapped.
"yeh I know Dale... I'm in a mess huh. You won't say anything will you" I said sounding scared.
"its not as if I'm going to meet the guy!" Dale said.
"well I was hoping you would. Carlos bought me 9 hours in a recording studio, I was hoping I could use some of the songs you had written, I would love it if you came with me" I asked.
"he got you recording time? That's pretty cool" Dale said now cheering up.
I nodded. "Carlos said it probably won't be enough to make a big dent in the industry but its a start huh, if I don't get signed with those as demos, then we could always get them viral on the internet" I smiled.
Dale smiled "yeah I'll come with you, I won't tell anyone about this Bailey. Your mom will end up shipping you away to boarding school or something" Dale laughed.
I rolled my eyes, she probably would. I went to an all girls school til I was 16 then got in to uni a year later. Boys were a new distraction that my parents thought I could do without, they were less than pleased when I told them the news of my hooters job.
"well I should be going, its almost your curfew" Dale said as he noticed my dad standing at the back door.
My parents liked Dale, he was a familiar face around the house, he was trusted to look after me, but because he had a penis, my parents kept a close eye on him.
I smiled and stood up, "see you in class tomorrow then" I replied.
"yeah see you tomorrow Bailey-Grace" Dale smile. "good night Mr Preston" Dale called over to my dad with a wave.
"night Dale" my dad replied then walked back in to the house.
I went straight up to bed, I tried calling Carlos again but still no reply.
I felt completely drained,
my head hurt from an information overload, I had a shower then got ready for bed, it was just gone 11pm now.
I gave Carlos one more try but he still was going through to voice mail. I wondered if he had changed his mind. My life was pretty complicated. I couldn't blame him if he wanted to steer clear.
I lay down in bed, trying to think clearly, when I thought about what my mom had told me about her wanting both me and my sister I started crying. It was so sad to think what could of been... It was tragic.
As I let all my emotion out in to my pillow I heard a tiny tap on my window. First thought that sprang to my mind was Dale. He often did that but not this late, as I turned around I saw the most handsome face... Carlos!
I opened the window up.
"what are you doing here?" I whispered to him as he crawled in through the gap.
"I drove down to be with you... I'm sorry.. Its crazy, but... I needed to see you again Bailey" he said then kissed me.
Our kiss got sexy very quickly, we didn't talk, we just enjoyed eachother. I ended up on my bed as Carlos lay on top of me, he smelt so good.
His tongue swept in mine like it belonged there. My heart ached away.
He pulled away and looked lovingly in to my eyes, his beautiful big brown kind eyes looked so honest. I felt myself falling so hard for him so quickly.
"why did you come here?" I whispered as I scattered kisses all over his face as he still lay on me.
"I couldn't keep away Bailey. I don't want to be apart from you" he hushed.
"are you staying over?" I asked, my eyes full of hope.
he nodded, "I've got to get up at four to get to LA for work though" he said with a smile.
"4? Your going to be exhausted Los" I said rubbing my hand across his perfect face.
"its worth it Bailey-Grace" was all he said then began kissing me again.
after that night, it became the done thing that Carlos would drive from LA to San Diego each evening after filming and sneak up to my room, he always left at 4am to be back in time for work.
We were inseparable! we adored each other! we made love every night, We talked about everything about each other. I felt so completely in love with him. I pushed all thoughts of my sister to the back of my mind, it haunted me at night, but Carlos helped to take my mind off of everything.
3 weeks went by like that, my dad left for Japan. Carlos and I shared a beautiful secret romance that my mom knew nothing about. on Sundays I would drive up to LA with him. It was perfect! The only draw back was Carlos still thought I was 19.
The time eventually came for Dale to meet Carlos with my hours I was about to spend singing for my life in a real life studio...