This is inspired by Rob's gray boxer briefs and other articles of his clothing!
A lot of you are pissed at Edward and you should be. He can't get it right. He's a troubled teenager, remember? And what's a fanfic without some drama and angst. Don't give up on him, there's a lot more story to go.
HOT BATHS AND BACKRUBS to my beta, Lindz26. She deserves TLC!
Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.
CHAPTER 10: PLAID SHIRT AND WHITE TEE
Bella POV
I was changed. I could feel it.
I had never really thought long and hard about it but in the back of my mind I kind of wondered how I would lose my virginity. I was such a loner that boys didn't look at me the way they might look at Jessica, for instance. There were some boys that kissed me, like pimple-faced Stewart at summer camp, and when Alice's cousin came to visit us one holiday and his son and I were just kind of groping around and experimenting. Anyway, I guess this was what might go through every adolescent's mind at some point in their teenage years. I imagined that, at seventeen, I was probably on the latter half of the bell curve. I felt like getting down on my knees and thanking god that Edward was the one, except that I was in the middle of the school hall surrounded by a sea of kids who already thought that I was on the fringe. Nope, not right now.
The next three days were pretty much the same... zeroing in on Edward, making electric eye contact, and then shadowing him like a fucking stalker. I had a sense of calm, though, a purpose, a reason to be here. And the way Edward looked at me was not even flirtatiously like he did before, but like he was seriously keeping track of me, possessively holding me with his gaze.
I warned him that he was giving himself away but he ignored me.
Wednesday night finally arrived. The big night that Edward would break it off with Rosalie. He didn't want to see me after school. He said it felt weird. Whatever. I was nervous with excitement and also dread for Edward. Breaking up was hard to do... I guessed.
As promised, Edward arranged to have Emmett keep me company. I was past arguing, trusting him and his plan. At home I had to give Charlie and Alice the wild excuse that the Cullens had invited me over for dinner and that Emmett was going to pick me up. I dropped Jasper's name like, "Emmett was Jasper's friend and he sort of likes me and did I mention that he was Jasper's friend and they wanted to hear about Jasper and..." I figured I could get a little latitude if somehow Jasper fit into the picture. It seemed to work as they let me go without any objection. I'm sure they thought that I was interested in Emmett but that it couldn't last because eventually he would be going back to school. Charlie seemed leery which I found out later was justified, but he didn't say anything.
I didn't lie altogether. I really was going to have dinner with Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. They seemed to think everything was hunky dory. Come on over, the more the merrier. Emmett has a friend, great! Nothing unusual. I liked them already.
"Welcome to our home, Bella," Dr. Cullen greeted me as soon as we walked in the door. He was tall and handsome but looked nothing like Edward, of course. Why would he? But he had that Cullen stare like he was assessing my soul, looking for the ailment so that he could prescribe me a cure. It was mesmerizing and I think I was developing an infatuation. Stupid me.
"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. It's nice to meet you." Okay, I didn't sound too star struck.
"Please call me Carlisle. This is Esme." His female counterpart floated from another room wiping her hands on a dishtowel. Why are these people so gorgeous?
"Bella, welcome. Please make yourself at home." She gave me a little hug.
"Thank you so much. And you have a lovely home. Here, I brought these cookies for you. My mom baked them." I handed her a box lovingly wrapped by Alice.
"Oh, thank you. Yummy. Please look around. Emmett can give you a tour. I'm just finishing up with dinner." She gave a look to Emmett.
Their house was beautiful. A large two-story colonial style mansion. Inside there was a beautiful foyer and then a great room that led to the back yard and garden. I noticed the graceful and deliberate decorating style. The rooms looked like they could have come out of a catalog. No, not a catalog because that would be cookie-cutter. More like Architectural Digest. There was a certain edge that made it unique and comforting at the same time. For instance, the traditional furnishings would be mixed with modern art on the walls, a bold splash of color on a chair, or a sculpture that looked like it could have been exhibited at the Guggenheim. Somehow it all made sense. I assumed it was Esme's handiwork and I liked her style. The lake house and now this. She was cool.
Good ole Charlie held on to his old Pacific Northwest brand of style and furniture and, even though Alice tried to make as many changes as she could, there was no turning around that boat very soon. His easy chair with the tattered arms would be the last holdout if ever she got her way. Oh well.
Emmett was nothing but fucking nice. Pointing out pictures of Edward on the mantel, showing off his gaming center, challenging me to a future duel. He was such a gentleman that it caught me off guard and I wondered why I had the wrong impression of him all along. The boisterous, smack-talking, ass grabbing man on campus was nowhere to be found tonight. Because of the way he was treating me, I suspected that it had something to do with Edward. It reminded me of a comment he made the other night.
"Emmett, tell me about Edward. Like how you owe him your life? I think those were your exact words." We were outside on the large porch waiting for the dinner bell.
"Oh, that. Shit, I should have thought to clear it with Edward, first. Well, I don't think he would mind if you knew. But only you." He looked at me pointedly. Another fucking secret. Ugh.
"You know that Edward was at boarding school for years, right? Well, I was here acting like a stupid playboy, hanging around with a bunch of so-called studs. We had some fun... stupid, frat-boy stuff. One night after a party at Eric's some of our group took a couple of the girls home. I went the other direction to rendezvous with this girl named Victoria. She was the daughter of the District Attorney, who was under age and who Carlisle had banned me from seeing. Turns out that these fuck-ups did a number on one of the girls, and she cried rape.
The shit hit the fan. I was there when we all left; I was seen with the entire group. I needed an alibi but I couldn't go to Victoria. Edward bailed me out. He said I drove down to see him at school and stayed the night. Carlisle and Esme wouldn't have known because they were at a medical convention in Los Angeles for the weekend. Actually, Vicky and I we were in my bedroom.
It made news. Your Dad knows all about it." Hmm, that explains Charlie's expression as I left the house tonight.
"I remember when that happened. Poor girl. I know she moved out of the state to be with her Mom. I don't recall hearing your name, though," I said.
"Because Edward insulated me, no questions asked. He could have gotten into a lot of trouble if they found out he lied. Of course, he won't talk about it now."
"What happened to the guys?"
"Two got off, the other served some time. Edward saved me... and Victoria. And I wouldn't want to see the look on Carlisle's face."
"Wow, Edward said the same thing about Carlisle. What is it with him? Is he so strict or so perfect that you can't disappoint him?" I think I already knew the answer.
"Carlisle is the most compassionate, trusting person. He will always give you the benefit of the doubt. Did you know that I'm adopted, too?"
"Uh, no. Edward never mentioned that."
"Yeah, he wouldn't. I was adopted several years before Edward. We were both well above the cute age, being shuffled between foster homes, causing trouble, not giving a shit. I was sent to Carlisle's doctors office because I was sick. And as he was examining me, I kind of opened up. I don't know why but I talked to him about shit that I never had before, to anyone, much less to any adult. He ended up adopting me. The same thing happened with Edward years later. I think Carlisle wanted me to have a brother. He's really an incredible person. So is Esme. They treat us like we're their natural born... nothing more, nothing less."
"Huh, being natural born doesn't guarantee anything." I was thinking of Renee. "You're both very lucky."
"Tell me about it. That's why we don't want to let him down. But sometimes our past comes back to haunt us, you know? We don't always make the right choices. That's what Edward's going through. He knows he made the wrong choice with Rosalie. If Edward can get out of this, I think he'll turn the corner. Hang in there, Bella, 'kay? He really likes you."
I swallowed. Emmett was saying what Edward could not. "I feel the same way. I've had a crush on Edward for months, you know," I admitted. "But it's up to him."
Just then, Esme stuck her head out of the door to call us in for dinner. As we got up and followed her in, Emmett came up next to me and gave me a squeeze on my shoulder. I think I just fell in love with Emmett, too.
My phone rang. I was going to ignore it because Charlie always reminded me that it was rude to talk on the phone at the dinner table, especially when I was a guest at someone's house.
But Esme encouraged me as she got up to clear some dishes. "Go ahead and answer it, Bella. I'm just going to get some desert. I have some lovely vanilla ice cream that we can have with Alice's cookies."
So I pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket and flipped it open. It was Edward! I hit "talk." There on the screen was Edward in all his glory, fully naked, one hand over his face, the other arm outstretched to his side. He was lying on a white carpet, his soft penis laying to the side. He was rubbing his eyes slowly. The video lasted for five seconds. I turned the power off.
My heart stopped and I couldn't move. Then I felt the blood drain from my face. I could hear Carlisle talking to Emmett but it sounded like gibberish to me, spoken through a long and narrow tube. Finally, Emmett broke through.
"Bella? Bella? What is it? Is something wrong?" He sounded nervous.
"Emmett, would you please take me home? Now? I don't feel well. Carlisle, thank you for a lovely dinner. Please thank Esme for me." But there was no need as Esme was coming from the kitchen with a worried look on her face. She must have heard Emmett.
"Dear, is it the dinner? Carlisle can give you something."
"No, no. I'm really sorry to interrupt this evening. You all have been perfect hosts. I just really need to go home." As they all shuffled around trying to make sure I was okay and Emmett dug his keys from his pocket, grabbing my jacket, I was caught in a mental fog. And that fog was slowly lifting to reveal a deep pit of fucking despair and rejection.
All my feelings of insecurity, of not belonging, of feeling like I was unwanted by my mother came busting through, crashing down, blocking out any light. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around my waist. My breathing was so fast I thought I was going to hyperventilate. I really needed to lay down in my own bed and pull the covers over my head.
In the Jeep, I could hear Emmett trying to break through again as he drove me home. Asking me what happened, how could he help? I couldn't speak, not even Edward's name. If I opened my mouth, I would have thrown up. Instead I clenched my teeth together and kept my eyes closed. He pulled up to the curb and walked me to the front door.
"I'll be here, Bella. Just outside. I won't go anywhere until I hear from Edward. That's what he wanted."
That's when I looked at Emmett and said, "I wonder what Edward wants." He jerked his head back with his eyes wide open, startled at my tone. He was speechless.
"Goodnight, Emmett."
Edward POV
FUCK!
Fucking bitch from hell. She knew all along. She was playing me, testing me and I fucking failed.
FAILED!
So much for my fucking half-assed "plan." I forgot who I was dealing with.
I hit redial but only got Bella's voice mail. "Bella, please call me. Please?"
What the fuck was I going to say? I had to get out of here so I could call Emmett. I looked at Rosalie. She was sitting on the chair with my white shirt on, a lit cigarette between her fingers, a smug expression on her face, challenging me.
"What are you going to do now, lover boy?" She took a drag.
Without saying a word to her I put on my clothes, then my shoes. I made sure I had my phone securely in my pocket. Then I walked up to Rosalie. I wanted to hit her so badly, knock that fucking grin off her fucking face. At least I had the presence of mind not to do that and get into more trouble. Guaranteed she would use it against me.
I grabbed her by the front of my shirt lifting her to her feet. She stood toe to toe with me, her chin jutting forward ready for a fight. I turned her around and roughly tore my shirt off her body, then turned her around again to look in her eyes.
"You mean nothing to me," I said calmly.
Her face fell. Rosalie, expert at getting a reaction, of whipping up emotions and sexual tension, of pulling strings like a puppeteer, was at a loss. Probably her whole life was spent thinking about how she could manipulate the world around her. The way she talked, dressed, got a rise out of all the boys in school, not to mention the male staff. Even the female population had an opinion about her. It didn't matter if they loved or hated her; she wanted it, fed off of it. The worst thing for her would be indifference.
I turned and left the room with my shirt, softly closing the door behind me.
Once in the car and pulling away from her curb, I frantically called Emmett.
"Em, where is she?"
"Shit, Edward. Thank god you called. Bella all of a sudden had to leave dinner and go home. She got a phone call. I don't know what happened but it doesn't look good. Is this about you?"
"Where are you?"
"Outside her house. I told her I'd wait here. Her bedroom light is on."
"I'm on my way. Don't leave." I snapped the phone shut.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Bella couldn't even say anything. I'd rather have anger. I wished she blew up, I'm used to people being mad at me.
I pulled up sharply behind Emmett's Jeep. He jumped into the passenger seat.
"What the hell is going on?" Emmett demanded.
I told him everything, no editing. He deserved that. "I'm fucked, Em. I thought I knew what I was doing. Really, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Now, probably the best thing, no, not probably. THE best thing that happened to me is gone. Why am I such a dick?"
"Maybe she'll forgive you, if you can talk to her. She's seems like a really reasonable person."
"I hope she doesn't. It would teach me a lesson. I need to get my act together, Em. Carlisle and Esme gave me a gift, and they keep giving. I worked so hard this summer to get straight. Then I blow it the first week of school. I knew it was wrong, I didn't think it would get like this but I let my dick fucking guide me instead of my brain."
We sat there in silence for a few minutes. There was nothing Emmett could say that would make me hate myself less than I did right now.
I breathed in deeply, filling my lungs, then let it out loudly through my mouth. Finally, I opened the door and got out. I walked across the lawn and stood below Bella's bedroom window. Another deep breath. I picked up a couple of pieces of gravel and tossed one at her window. No response. Shit. I tossed another one at her window. She appeared. Shit. I was nervous. I didn't want to see her face. What would I see? Anger? Hurt? Disappointment? I ran my hands through my hair pulling it tight. The pain felt good.
Bella opened the window and looked down at me. There was absolutely no expression on her face. Then she looked towards the curb and saw Emmett leaning against the car. A slight smile pulled at her lips. My heart thudded in my chest. God. She was so beautiful, the bedroom lamp shining on the right side of her face. If I hadn't fucked this up, I could be kissing that face right now. I could just detect the sadness behind her eyes, I could not see anger.
"Bella, can I talk to you? Please? I... I'm so sorry and I want to explain." She didn't move but continued to look at me with those sad brown eyes. I tried again.
"Bella, please come down so that we can talk." Still she didn't move.
"Bella, I'll be at the bleachers every day after school. I'll wait for you there. Every day. I'll wait until you're ready."
She moved then. She walked away from the window, but a moment later I could see from the shadows cast on the walls and ceiling that she was coming back to the window. My heart skipped a beat. Maybe she would agree to come down and talk to me. If I could only hold her in my arms again. Feel her soothe my nerves, calm me down. I really didn't deserve it but I needed it. Oh please, please.
She came back to the window and leaned out. Then she brought up her arm and threw something out. It floated down softly. I ran the couple of steps to catch it. They were my long sleeve plaid shirt and my white tee-shirt. Oh, shit. I clutched them to my chest and looked up.
She was gone.
You know, this writing is a funny thing. You play the story so much in your head and in such detail that you wonder what it sounds like to those who are not in your head with you. Especially when you're new at this and have no frame of reference. Is it going well, badly, or eh? That's why your reviews are invaluable... and fun. I love when you guess what's going on. That's fun, too. Your participation in the process is truly gratifying. Thank you so much.
Next, Bella's response... sort of!