Ch. 10 Born to die, die to live
Mattie woke up to see a worried Gilbert leaning over him. Gil's mouth was moving, but Mattie heard no words.
"Matthew!" Mattie finally heard his name, jerking him from the daze he was in.
"What the hell did you do?" Gil asked angrily.
"Look at your wrists!" Gil grabbed Mattie's bloodied wrists and held them up. "You destroyed them!" Mattie stared at the albino yelling at him.
"You think that this made sense! Why would you do this! Don't you dare say 'Alfred' or so help me God, I will beat your ass to a pulp!" Gil started cutting gauze and bandages he took from the medicine cabinet and started fitting them to Matthew's ripped arms.
"Well? Are you going to answer me?" Gil looked up from his work and met Mattie's eyes. Mattie was shocked at Gilbert's eyes. They were angry. They weren't the usual energetic, playful red they usually were, but an angry crimson. They burned into Matthew's violet eyes. Mattie broke their gaze and looked down at his pained wrists.
"What were you thinking?" Gil asked softly. Mattie felt salty tears gather in the corners of his eyes. He tried to blink them away so Gilbert wouldn't see, but his attempts failed.
"Don't start crying, Mattie," Gil comforted "I know it's hard with Alfred in the hospital and all that, but you don't have to cause yourself harm." Mattie stared at the albino. None it made any sense. Alfred shouldn't be dying. If anyone should be in the hospital, it should be Mattie.
"Mattie," Gil handed the Canadian a tissue. Mattie took the tissue and dabbed at his moist eyes. "Don't do this to yourself." Gilbert taped the end of the last bandage over Matthew's left wrist. Mattie withdrew his arm and gently cradled it in his opposite.
"Promise you won't do anything so stupid again," Gil said to the blonde. Mattie nodded silently and hugged the German. Gilbert jumped slightly in surprise, but held Mattie and rubbed his back. Mattie sobbed and cried into Gil's shoulder.
"It's going to be okay," Gil comforted. "Sh, Mattie. Er ist Ordnung. Du bist Ordnung. Alfred wird in Ordnung sein."[1] Matthew gripped the black T-shirt his friend was wearing and cried harder. Gilbert continued to hug him and whisper comforting words to him, even if they were in German. Mattie was getting tired from crying into Gil's shirt. The albino didn't seem to care too much about his soaked shirt though. Mattie released himself from Gilbert and wiped his eyes with the back if his hand.
"Why don't you take a nap? I'll do some stuff around here, if you want," Gil offered. It's not often Gilbo volunteers to do work. If Ludwig was there, he might have slapped his brother.
Mattie nodded sitting on the old couch and blowing his nose into a clean tissue.
"Alright. Awesome! You take a rest wherever and I'll clean up. It will be like I'm doing the stuff I never do for Ludwig!" Gil said with a wink. Yup. If the blonde German was here, he might have broken Gil's arm.
"Ja but don't tell Luddy I said that. Otherwise, he'd probably kill me," Gilbert continued. Mattie shuddered at the thought of losing Gil. He started shaking violently at being reminded of his dying twin at the hospital.
"Matt? Matt! MATTHEW!" Gil ran over to the shivering Canadian and sat next to him.
"Hang on! I'll be right back," Gil ran up the stairs searching for something. Mattie heard random shuffles and bumps come from the second floor. Then a loud crash followed by an even louder "DAMN IT!" Mattie smiled slightly at his strange friend. Gil was one of a kind. Then he came pounding down the stairs with a red blanket, and put it over the other's shoulders.
"Heh, by the way," Gil rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly "I think someone broke your lamp upstairs in your hallway." Mattie laughed a bit at Gil's clumsiness.
"I'll clean it up though, because I'm that awesome!" Gilbert continued to talk, probably about his 'awesomeness', but Mattie only heard hazy mumbles. Mattie held his polar bear, Kuma-katchi, close to him as he laid down across the couch. Finally he drifted off to sleep.
"Mattie! Let's go!" Alfred called to his brother. The nineteen year old looked up from the book he was reading to stare at his twin.
"I'm reading, Al," Mattie said holding up his book.
"Aw but I wanna go in the haunted house!" Alfred pointed at the haunted house attraction set up for Halloween.
"You'll be scared anyway," Matthew commented going back to his book.
"I won't! I'm a hero! Heroes are never scared!" Alfred stood in his "heroic" pose in front of Mattie.
"Okay. Then go by yourself."
"But it's not as fun. Can't you read your boring book later?"
"It's not boring," Mattie defended, looking up "It's absolutely wonderful. It's 'The Tale of Two Cities' by Charles Dickens."
"Snore," Alfred replied "Please go on with me, Mattie. Please!"
"I said no," Mattie refuted, looking back at his book.
"Aw but-"
"No."
"But-"
"NO ALFRED!" Mattie said angrily. Alfred could be so obnoxious at times. Al yanked the classic book from Mattie's hands and held it high in the air.
"Al, give that back!" Mattie jumped childishly, trying to reach the book.
"Not until you go in the haunted house with me," Al protested.
"No I'm not going in. Now give it back!"
"Whoops," Alfred purposely ripped part of a page in the book.
"ALFRED! THAT'S A LIBRARY BOOK!" Mattie screamed at his younger brother.
"Who cares? Go in the haunted house with me!" Mattie grew very angry at his brother. How dare he? He is such an immature child.
"Ugh NO ALFRED!" Alfred threw the book as far as he could. The novel landed with a soft plop in a small swamp of mud, grass, and rainwater from the night before.
"I HATE YOU, ALFRED!" Mattie screeched at Alfred, as he ran to get the book from the puddle. Alfred stood there, completely dumbfounded. Hate. Matthew never used 'hate' before. He watched his older brother pick the library book out of the mud, and wipe it with his sleeve. Alfred felt tears sting his eyes. Mattie hated him. He HATED Alfred. He watched Mattie sulk off, probably back to their house. Alfred followed slowly, back to their home. When Mattie arrived home he began to furiously wipe mud off the book. He decided he probably would need a hair dryer to dry the pages as best he could. He heard sniffles behind him and Mattie spun around to find the source. Alfred sat on a kitchen chair with his back to Mattie. Mattie saw his crying brother and went to comfort him.
"I'm sorry, Al. I was mad you threw my book. That's all," Mattie explained.
"You said you hated me," Alfred whispered. Mattie looked horrified at what he just heard. He said he hated Alfred? That couldn't be right.
"Alfred, I'm so sorry! I don't hate you. I never could. Even if I wanted to. You're my brother and I'm sorry, Al," Mattie apologized, hugging his little brother.
"Sorry I threw your book, bro," Alfred replied, drying his eyes.
"It's okay. All I need to do it borrow a hair dryer from Feli or Lovi or someone.
"Okay. That's good. Can we go to the haunted house now?" Alfred looked at his twin hopefully. Mattie leaned in and ruffled Alfred's hair thoroughly messing it up.
"Of course, Alfie," Mattie agreed "As many times as you want."
Mattie awoke to find his glasses sitting on the coffee table. He looked around and saw Gil eating a plate of pancakes soaked in maple syrup.
"Guten Morgen, Sonnenschein," Gil said brightly.
"Morning," Mattie mumbled.
"Feeling better?"
"A bit," Mattie answered.
"Your glasses are on the table there," Gilbo pointed to the table. Matthew reached his bandaged arm out to get his glasses. He slowly fixed them on his face, causing his vision to become clearer. He looked around and saw that Gilbert actually did some work. He was able to clean the random papers and odds and ends strewn around the living room. And, from where Mattie could see, the kitchen looked spotless.
'I guess Gil can clean when he wants to,' Mattie thought.
"You hungry?" Gil asked suddenly. Mattie shook his head. If he ate something he might get sick.
"If you want something there's pancakes in the oven," Gil informed walking over to the sink to clean his sticky plate. An obnoxiously loud German metal song sounded from the coffee table in front of Matthew. The blonde looked over to see Gil's phone lit up.
"I got it!" Gil ran over to his phone and picked it up.
"Hallo? Oh hey Luddy!" Ludwig.
'He's probably wondering where Gil is,' Mattie thought.
"Ja. Nein. Hold on," Gil walked out of the room and out onto the front porch. Mattie snuck over quietly and opened the window to hear what his friend was saying.
"...At Matthew's. No he hasn't eaten anything since I've been here. Ja ja I'm worried too." Gil started pacing on the porch nervously "Nein. Ja, he basically demolished both his wrists. Nein. Nein he hasn't said a word. Nothing. Nein. Ja I hope not. Alright. Ja. Ja, Luddy. Wiedersehen." Gil closed his phone and began to walk towards the door. Mattie bolted back to the couch where he sat previously.
"I know you heard that, Mattie," Gil sighed. "I'm not stupid." Mattie's eyes widened. Gil knew he had heard.
"We're just worried about you, Mattie. You haven't been eating and you haven't said a word to me since I found you, half dead on the floor." Gil took a shaky breath and continued to talk "Do you know how hard it is, Matt? One of my best friends is in a coma in a hospital half an hour away. How do you think it feels to go check on your other best friend and find him bleeding to death on the floor?" Tears glistened in the German's scarlet eyes. "Mattie, it's bad enough we have one friend in the hospital. We don't need another." Gil wiped his eyes with the back of his hand quickly. Mattie honestly didn't think anybody would care if he left. Everyone was too focused on his twin.
"Mattie?" Gil prodded. Mattie didn't answer. He stood there, staring straight ahead.
"Matt?" Gil waved his hand in front of the Canadian. No response.
"Matthew!" Mattie turned his head to the albino.
"Answer me, damn it," Gil commanded. Mattie shook his head and tears flew from his dull violet eyes.
"No?" Gil cocked his head. "Hospital. Now." Gil threw shoes and a jacket at his friend, who caught them easily. Mattie slowly pulled his shoes on and then poked his arms through the jacket. Gil was outside turning on his motorcycle. Mattie walked out, not even bothering to check if the door was locked.
"Helmet. Wear one or die," Gil said. Mattie couldn't tell if he was serious or joking. Mattie put the white and red helmet on. The second Matt put his arms around Gilbert's waist, they were off.
[1] Sh, Mattie. It's alright. You're alright. Alfred will be alright.