Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns everything.

"I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept my flaws and all
And that's why I love you."

--Flaws and All by Beyonce

Chapter 10: No More Secrets

I woke up Saturday morning to the muffled sounds of two familiar voices coming from downstairs. Just as I began to wonder why Jacob was at my house so early, my alarm clock revealed to me that I had slept in until noon for the second day in a row. I was really going to have to find some way to get some sleep. Last night I was haunted by the same dreams of Edward's disapproval of my new relationship. If that wasn't bad enough, I couldn't stop reliving every single detail of my previous night with Jacob.

I tried to listen in closer to what the voices were saying. I couldn't make out any words, but at least they didn't sound angry. Although Charlie was usually a mellow guy, after what happened last night, I wouldn't be surprised if he really ripped into Jacob.

I sat up and sighed, realizing that I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer. I climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweat pants that I must have threw off last night in the midst of my insomnia. I walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth while trying to smooth down a few disorderly hairs. It was no use, I looked horrible. If Jacob was going to want me he would have to accept me for what I was. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to go downstairs and face the two most important men in my life. Why was I so nervous? How brutal could it be? Yeah, I knew I didn't want to know the answer to that.

As soon as I entered the kitchen, Jacob instinctively stood up from his seat at the table. In two large strides, he was standing directly in front of me. Charlie, who was unconvincingly pretending to read the newspaper, glanced up at me briefly and nodded before turning his attention back down.

"Morning," Jacob said not sounding quite like himself. I felt my heart beat a little faster as my anxiety began to rise.

"Good afternoon," I corrected, trying to smile at him.

"Why yes, I guess it is after noon," he said grinning wryly. "My little sleepy head."

He patted me playfully on the head before pulling me into his arms for a quick hug as Charlie glanced up at us. I was relieved that Jacob was smiling and teasing me like he normally did.

"Well…" Charlie said, noisily putting down the newspaper, as he stood up and emptied his coffee into the sink. "You two kids have fun; I am going to head out to town. We're almost out of steaks, Bells."

"Oh no, dad, we definitely can't have that," I replied sarcastically. I was curious but also pleasantly surprised that he was going to leave Jacob and me alone again. I couldn't help but wonder exactly what the two of them talked about this morning.

I gave Jacob a questioning look but he just grinned at me smugly and shrugged. Charlie didn't seem to notice our little exchange. He moseyed on over to the front door preparing to put on his shoes. "I shouldn't be long," he said anxiously looking around for his rain boots. "Jacob, you're more than welcome to stay for dinner if you'd like."

"Thanks Chief Swan, but I think Billy and I are goin' over to Sue's house tonight."

"Oh well that's nice kid. Sue needs the company right now," Charlie said, giving me a pleading and helpless look. I walked over and opened up the broom closet to reveal a pair of mud covered mucking boots. Charlie smiled at me and quickly put them on his feet.

"Thanks, Bells, at least one of us can find things around here."

"Anytime dad," I replied smiling and shaking my head at him.

A minute later, Charlie said his goodbyes and headed out the door leaving Jacob and I behind to sort through some of our issues.

We stood in silence for a minute until we both started to speak at the same time. I laughed nervously but Jacob just wrapped his arms around me again and pulled me intimately to his chest.

"I missed you," he said huskily.

I shivered against him as his warm breath reached my ear. His hands were soothingly rubbing up and down my back making it difficult for me to remember what I had intended to say. What did we need to talk about again? I was beginning to find it impossible to concentrate anytime he was around.

I frowned when he pulled away from me sooner than I liked. He must have noticed my dismay because he laughed and took my hand, pulling me into the living room. He sat down on the couch and easily pulled me down by his side. He wasted no time throwing his arm around my shoulders and pulling me as close to him as possible. I rested my hand on his chest and nestled my head into the crook of his neck.

"So…" I eventually said deciding to make the first move into the inevitable. "Charlie didn't seem to mind leaving us here alone."

"Of course he didn't, why would he mind, Bella?" he asked me. Although I couldn't see his face, I could feel that his mouth was turned upward in a wide grin. He was obviously playing dumb just to see what my reaction would be. Well, two could play at that game.

"Well, because he knows how I am, Jake. You're not the first boy I've been left here alone with, and let's just say one time Charlie may have come home earlier than expected…" I trailed off allowing him to add his own creative ending to the sentence.

"Oh," was all that he said with his voice barely above a whisper. It was obvious that was definitely not the answer he was expecting. I couldn't stop myself from laughing at his disappointment as I backed away from him and looked up at his face. He looked like he might be sick.

"Oh, Jacob, I was only kidding," I said still not helping myself from giggling. "You're not the only one capable of playing hard ball."

"That wasn't funny," he said, although I could tell he was trying not to smile. I couldn't be sure if he was just happy that I had been kidding or if he was amused at my attempt in tormenting him.

"Speaking of you and past boyfriends…" he said trailing off for a moment, his tone becoming serious again. "Exactly how many of them were there?"

"Only one," I said unable to stop my thoughts from leading to Edward. My mind had already pictured his breathtakingly beautiful face before I had any chance of defending myself. It no longer hurt as much to think of him as it had in the past, but it still wasn't completely free of consequence.

Jacob just nodded at my response. I think he knew me well enough to know he shouldn't say anything more about Edward.

"What about you?" I asked unable to hide my curiosity.

"Oh I dunno, maybe four?" he replied. "None that meant even a fraction as much as you do, though. I have never felt this way about anyone else before you, Bells."

I smiled at him warmly. It was comforting to know how much he cared about me because I was starting to realize that I loved him more than I thought. It still made me feel guilty, though, that I could not reciprocate his statement. Unlike him, I have been in love before. In fact, I was still in love with someone other than him.

"Are you ready to talk about it yet?" he asked me after a brief moment of silence.

Talk about it? What exactly was the it he was referring to? Did he mean last night or did he mean my relationship with Edward? He must have read the confusion in my eyes because he spoke before giving me a chance to respond.

"Last night," he clarified.

My thoughts drifted back to the events of last night that had lead up to the incredibly embarrassing confrontation with Charlie and Billy. I had spent most of the night preparing myself for what I would say to Jacob in this moment, but now that it had finally arrived I was drawing a complete blank. Again, Jacob took my hesitation as his cue to speak up.

"Listen, I don't know exactly what you had in mind," he said slowly seemingly trying to choose his words wisely, "I mean, I don't want you to think that I didn't want to…you know…go further with you…but, I was just taken completely off guard. I really wasn't expecting you to react that way and I knew if I didn't stop us at that exact moment, I may not have been able to stop at all."

I couldn't stop my face from turning its usual shade of red. I didn't know what to say because I was finding it hard to explain my actions even to myself. I decided that being completely honest with him would be best.

"I honestly don't know what happened last night," I started to say, my voice slightly shaky at first. "I really can't explain my actions. However, I do know that although I was glad that you er—interrupted—when you did, I couldn't help but feel a little bit rejected."

"Rejected? Oh, Bella Bella Bella, must you always be so oblivious?" he asked chucking, while shaking his head back and forth in disbelief. "Let me just say that it was really difficult for me to ask you to stop."

I looked down at the couch to try to hide my embarrassment as I felt a chill run down my spine. His words were exactly what I wanted to hear, but they didn't make it any less awkward. I felt his hand underneath my chin forcing my head back up to face him. His thumb was gently brushing against my flushed cheek.

"I managed to embarrass you yet again," he said grinning. I playfully batted his hand away from my cheek.

"I'm not embarrassed!" I lied, though I knew it was not even remotely believable.

"Yeah okay," he said laughing as he stood up from the couch and stretched his strong arms in front of him. I guessed he thought our conversation was over but I still had more that I needed him to know.

"Jake wait—" I said as he started to walk towards the kitchen. At the sound of his name, he stopped in his tracks and turned back around to face me.

"Yeah?" he asked me, his eyes full of curiosity now.

"I still have something else I need to tell you," I said trying to sound confident.

"What is it?" he asked as he came and knelt down in front of me, resting his warm hands on my knees. He was staring intently into my eyes most likely trying to figure out what I was about to say.

"Please don't get mad."

"I can't get mad at you, it's impossible," he breathed.

I took a deep breath preparing myself to speak. How could I tell him about my nightmares? How could I ever explain to him my irrational behaviors just to hear voices in my head? How could I ever make him understand the frustration that caused me to run to the woods the night I met up with Embry?

"It's about…" I paused trying to force myself to say the melodic name out loud. "Edward."

He nodded but did not speak. I could have sworn I felt him tighten his grip on my knees at the sound of his name. I swallowed hard. It was still hard for me to talk about him.

"I have nightmares," I finally blurted.

"Okay," Jacob replied patiently after I didn't continue right away.

"I used to have nightmares about Edward leaving me," I continued. "But now they're always about Edward's disapproval of my moving on. He isn't happy about you and me."

Jacob opened his mouth to say something but I lifted up my hand to stop him. I wasn't finished yet.

"I mean, I realize that in reality he could care less about what I do, but it is very frustrating having to see him every night in my sleep. Every time I close my eyes his face is looking back at me." I said as I glanced down to the floor and sighed. Jacob remained silent, listening closely to what I was saying. I wondered what he was thinking. At this point, I wouldn't fault him for wanting to convict me into a psychiatric institute. Sometimes I thought that's where I belonged.

"The night I ran into Embry in the woods…" I continued after a moment. "I was so angry. I was so mad at Edward. I just wanted to get some sleep but he wouldn't even give me that much. No, he had to take absolutely everything from me. I wanted nothing more than to be able to see him one last time just to tell him how much I hated him—hated him for what he did to me!" I noticed that I was practically shouting but I couldn't stop myself from feeling as angry as I had the night of the incident. I felt my fists clench up into tight fists at my sides.

"Hey, shh Bella, it's okay," Jacob said quietly taking me into his arms. "You don't have to tell me about this if it's upsetting you."

"No," I said wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer. "I need you to know. I want you to know how—crazy I am."

"Listen to me. You need to realize that what he did to you was not okay. It is never okay to hurt someone the way he hurt you," he said as he pulled back from me and placed his hands on each side of my face fixing his eyes on mine. His expression was filled with such a fiery intensity that I almost felt fearful. "You are not crazy, Bella. He is the only crazy one—crazy for ever leaving you."

I couldn't move or speak. My throat felt so dry that I highly doubted my voice would work if I attempted a response.

"I will never hurt you like that, I promise," he said bringing his lips to my forehead. "You will never have to go through that again."

"I just want to forget about him and move on," I whispered.

"I want the exact same thing," he replied, pulling me in his arms again.

He held me close to him for a while in silence. It was amazing that he somehow knew that was exactly what I needed. This time, when he pulled away from me, I felt like a huge burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt an incredible sense of relief.

"Can you promise me something now?" he asked breaking our silence.

"Anything," I said, realizing there was nothing I wouldn't do for him at this point.

"Promise me that the next time you are upset, you will call me instead of retreating to the forest?"

"I promise."

He smiled and leaned in gently pressing his lips to mine.

"I love you, Bella. Nightmares and all," he said grinning. It was the smile I loved.

"I love you, too," I said feeling the truth behind my words. I really did love him--more and more each day.

He stood to his feet and engulfed my hands in his, pulling me up to join him.

"Now…is it time for food?" he asked rubbing his stomach.

"There will be no food until you tell me what you said to Charlie this morning," I said smiling. It felt good to win for once.

A/N: Updated June 1, 2009. The rest of the chapters have yet to be improved.