Chapterrr Ten. Woop :)
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The November wind roared through the grounds, sharp as a knife edge.
And yet, James, Sirius and Remus sat on the grass, leaning against a large boulder and smoking gillyweed cigarettes.
"This tastes like shit," Remus groaned.
"Yeah but we look so fit when we smoke," James said and Sirius laughed.
"No wonder the girls can't stay away from us!" he agreed.
All of a sudden, three girls arrived, frowning at the boys.
"Are you smoking?!" exclaimed Lily, "You're not allowed to smoke!"
"That's why we're outside," smirked Sirius.
"It's dangerous! You could get ill!" she scolded, looking worried.
"What the hell?! Are you insane?" asked James, incredulously.
"In the muggle world, cigarettes are bad for your health," Izzie explained.
"Then why the hell do they do it?!?!" demanded James.
"Same reason we do," laughed Sirius, "To look freaking sexy!"
"You are such idiots," Izzie sighed, sitting down and grabbing a cigarette from James.
"You know you just wanna sex us up!" Sirius winked.
"Sure..." Kathy rolled her eyes, and took a puff from Remus'.
"Wanna try?" James asked, offering her the fag.
"What's it like?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.
"Disgusting," said Remus, and James hit him.
"Try it," he insisted and Lily took it gingerly.
She put it to her mouth and inhaled deeply, the smoke filling her lungs.
"Tastes like shit," she coughed, handing it back to James.
"Exactly what I said," Remus laughed.
"And yet you still smoke it?" asked Kathy.
"Yep," he grinned, "Apparently, we look hot,"
"You girls don't though," James smirked, taking Izzie's cigarette.
"Oi! Give it back!"
"Nah, you look ugly when you're smoking,"
"Shut up, no I don't," she snapped, lighting another one.
"Whatever, just take off your top, then you'll be sexy," Sirius grinned.
"Shut it Black," Izzie scowled.
"Does he ever stop?" asked Kathy and the others shook their heads.
"He's a perverted idiot," added Lily.
"Hey! I'm not perverted!"
"Yes you are," they all said in unison, laughing at his forlorn expression.
"I hate you guys,"
"I hate you more," Izzie said, poking out her tongue.
"Put away your tongue, you little bitch!" Sirius yelled dramatically, leaping towards her.
She danced away from him, her tongue sticking out of her mouth rebelliously.
"Can't catch me!" she sang, "Haha, silly old Sirius Black, can't even catch a – woah!"
He tackled her and pinned her to a tree, as she squealed.
"Oh god, he's found another victim," Remus sighed, "I hope they don't decide to hook up..."
James and Lily scoffed.
"Izzie will never go out with Sirius!" she said, shuddering at the thought.
"And as for Sirius," added James, "He'd rather drown himself than date my cousin! Or anyone for too long, actually..."
Remus and Kathy nodded in agreement, as Izzie was attempting to push Sirius' bulky body away from her slender self.
"Sirius, geroff," she groaned, "You are cutting off my blood circulation,"
"Nope," he grinned, her arms held above her head.
"Sirius, don't make me attack you," she warned and he laughed.
"I severely doubt that you'll be able to attack me!"
She glared at him and shook her head.
"Don't say I didn't tell you..." she sighed, bringing her knee upwards into his groin.
"HOLY MOTHER OF – GOD DAMNIT!" he yelled, collapsing onto the ground as the others roared with laughter.
Izzie smirked and sat on top of the rock, crossing her legs.
"I really hate you Taylor," moaned Sirius hoarsely, huddled up on the ground.
"Ditto," she said, refraining from grinning at him.
James chuckled, looking at Remus and Kathy, who were still clutching their sides, silently.
"I won't be able to have children," whimpered Sirius, his hands grasping his... assets.
"Good. The female population of the world are secretly overjoyed," Lily laughed.
"Shut up Evans," he frowned.
Izzie laughed, high-fiving Lily, who was grinning widely.
"I wonder if it still works," mused Kathy, tilting her head to the side as she looked at Sirius.
"There's a thought. Sirius not being able to... function..." Remus said, snickering at the look of horror on Sirius' face.
"But – but –" he stuttered.
"Jeez, he's kidding," James sighed, and Sirius' face relaxed.
"Don't joke about such things..."
"Should we go back to the school?" asked Lily, shivering slightly.
"Yeah," James nodded, stamping on his cigarette and shoving his cold hands into his pockets.
"I hate you Taylor," Sirius scowled and Izzie laughed.
"Still sore?"
"No! As if you could hurt me," he said, puffing up his chest.
"Don't challenge her, dear," James smirked, and Sirius frowned.
"Ok..." he said dejectedly as Izzie and Kathy exchanged grins, "I really do hate girls..."
"Is this a confession?!" asked Remus, wide-eyed.
"NO! Shut up, you wanker," Sirius snapped.
"Sirius is gay, Sirius is gay," sand Remus, as Sirius gave him the finger.
"I hate everyone," Sirius moaned.
"And everyone hates you," winked Izzie.
"Hey! No-one hates me!"
Izzie opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off as Remus collapsed to the ground in a major coughing fit.
"Remus!" gasped Lily, as the others watched him in horror, "What's the matter?!"
"Ch-choking!" he stuttered, clasping his hand to his chest, "Dodgy c-cigarettes!"
"Sirius!" James said urgently, holding up the packet of cigarettes, "Where the hell did you buy these?!"
"I - The newsagents was closed! There was a guy on the corner..." Sirius said, eyes wide in shock.
"You idiot!" exclaimed Izzie, as Remus lay on the ground in agony.
"Ok, calm down," said Lily as Kathy and Izzie were running around in hyterics.
"What're you doing?!" demanded James, watching Lily take Remus' pulse and perform several complicated spells on him.
"Shut up," she said distractedly, as Remus closed his eyes and stopped breathing so heavily.
"What did you do?" asked Sirius timidly, his face white.
"I - I think he's okay now..." she said nervously, poking Remus with her wand.
He opened his eyes and looked up at them all, surrounding him.
"Am I dead?" he asked and they all rolled their eyes, relieved.
"No, you're fine, you just smoked a dodgy cigarette," James grinned, looking at Sirius with his hands on his hips.
"Sorry mate," Sirius smiled sheepishly and Remus laughed.
"S'alright," he said weakly, standing up.
"I told you cigarettes were dangerous," Lily scolded.
"Shut up Lils," they all chorused.
"Hey! I saved the day!" she protested, and James and Sirius exchanged grins.
They lifted Lily onto their shoulders, chanting her name, over and over again, as they walked up to the castle.
Okay, that was kinda random. It just came to me.
The idea of smoking gillyweed is a bit odd, but you know...
And bless Remus. And Lily, saving the day!
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Ash x