Chapter 10: Denial

Glares were cast across the room as Sam and Dean watched two men hit on Kara and Lyra. They sat at a table on the opposite end of the bar, away from the pool table the girls were currently hanging around. The lights in the bar were too dim to really see the men's faces and the music was too loud to listen in on the conversation, but both boys' blood boiled as they watched. Between the two of them, they had downed a 6-pack of beer and a couple glasses of whisky trying to keep their minds off the girls as they openly flirted with men who weren't them. Neither wanted to admit that seeing other men hit on them hurt worse than a vampire bite, but they were trying to get drunk to forget about it. But it honestly only made them hate the random men, and the girls, even more.

Dean shook his head, downing another glass of whisky as he glared daggers at the man hitting on Kara. "Those jerks. They obviously don't care about them as people."

Sam ran a hand through his hair, swishing the remainder of his beer around in the bottle. His cheek twitching as the man hitting on Lyra touched her arm. "Do they even know what personal space is?"

Dean scoffed as a guy leaned in and whispered something to Kara. "All they want is sex." He ordered another whisky, and turned to Sam. "We should tell them to fuck off."

Sam hummed a growl deep in his throat; Lyra practically hanging off the man she's been talking to all night. "But why do we even care?" He spoke, trying to will himself into oblivion.

Dean leaned in to his brother, speaking quietly. "Because it should be us!" He shook his head, eyebrows scrunched as he watched Kara laughing and having fun. "We're the ones who are always spending time with them, listening when they complain and quite literally saving their asses."

Sam shook his head, finishing his beer and slamming it on the table. "What are we supposed to do Dean? Start telling them who they can and can't hang out with because we're a little jealous?"

Dean growled. "Why not?!" He paused to down his new glass of whisky, his speech slurring slightly. "It's not a sin to show us a little respect when we let them tag along our hunts for free."

Sam sighed. "That's jerkish, even for you." He ordered a whisky, waiting to take a sip before continuing. "They do their fair share. They owe us nothing."

Dean peeled his gaze away from Kara to look Sam in the eye. "What if we… like them? Like, LIKE them, you know?"

Sam scoffed, taking another sip of his drink. "Sure, like we could ever admit to that…" He paused, taking a glance over to Lyra. "If it were even true." The pain in his heart grew as he lied to himself.

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "Why not? Let's say this is hypothetical… we're an excellent team… I mean it would be a little awkward since Kara's your best friend and you're my brother, vice versa. But why wouldn't it work?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "You know our relationships have a life span of hours to days, if that. Do you really want to screw up what we have, Dean?"

Dean glanced over to the girls, his green eyes landing on Kara and weighing the pros and cons. "What if they're our only shot at happiness, Sam?"

Sam glanced apologetically at Dean. "You know what dad would say…"

Dean glared at his little brother. "Since when do you care what dad has to say?" He downed the rest of his drink and put a hand on Sam's shoulder, gripping it tightly. "It might be the whisky talking but I'm willing to go find out." He looked over to Kara once more, his heart yearning for her lips and her sweet embrace.

Sam's voice brought him back from dreamland. "You know what? You're right. I really do like Lyra. Probably even more than I liked Jessica but… I don't want to lose her by trying to take it to the next level."

Dean threw his head back as he groaned. "And I really like Kara!" He looked Sam in the eyes. "I'm afraid of that outcome too but why can't we just be men and tell them? We will never know if we don't try, and I'm sure as hell not about to let some punk jerk steal her away from me!"

Sam stood quickly, tipping a little from the sudden change. Fire pulsed through both of their veins as the jealousy took control. "Fine. If you do it, I will too."

Dean stood, using the table as his main support system. "Sounds like a plan."

The brothers turned, their drunken states helping them attain the nerve to face the girls with their feelings, only to see the girl's leaving the bar with their arms linked with the two men they had been interacting with previously. Dean's heart dropped, and Sam felt a lump form in his throat. "Let's just go..." Sam muttered, leaving money on the table for the drinks.

When the boys got back to the motel, they were both relieved and pissed to see that the girls didn't bring their playthings here, instead went to their lodgings. Dean went straight for Kara's things, opening the drawer of her clothes and throwing them out onto the floor. Sam wasn't planning on ruining Lyra's stuff, but when he avoided Dean and went to use his laptop, Lyra's notebook and laptop were sitting right across the table from his, and his mind went blank.

Both brothers blinded by rage threw and flung the girls' stuff around the room. Sam jumbled up Lyra's notes and ripped pages out of her notebook, while Dean dumped out Kara's duffel and purse only to throw everything around once they were empty. They went on for a good ten minutes, completely trashing the room and their belongings until they both stumbled across things that softened their hearts and made them regret their actions, even in their drunken state.

Dean's heart dropped to his stomach as he came across a picture that had been in Kara's purse. It was a picture of the two of them. A random picture; the two of them up front in the Impala during one of their long drives. Kara had her tongue stuck out and Dean was scrunching his nose at her as she had taken the picture. He couldn't even remember when she took it, but it must have meant a lot to her if she kept it in the most easily accessible place she had. Turning it over he read the little note written there in her handwriting. "First time riding up front with Dean!" Followed by little scribbly hearts. A corner of Dean's lip turned up in a smile as he chuckled, the memory coming back to him. Lyra was so reluctant to ride in the back with Sam that Kara had bribed her way to the front, offering to buy him a legendary Chuck Norris Burger at his favorite restaurant. It turned out she liked her fair share of classic rock songs and they got to know each other better while Sam and Lyra slept to avoid any awkward discussions.

Dean decided to look around for any more pictures, but instead was faced with the destruction he had caused. He had been in such a blind rage that he didn't realize how much of her stuff he had thrown about. He had even broken a lamp in the room while tossing her phone. He sighed, his stomach tensing with guilt, and tiredness making his eyes hard to keep open, but he started picking up her stuff. Looking over to his brother, he saw he was in a trance looking through what was left of Lyra's notebook.

Sam stared at the pages in his hands, all ripped out of her notebook. His blood had run cold when he saw some secret sketches of him that Lyra had drawn. He knew she liked to draw, but he believed her when she said she couldn't draw people. He remembered the conversation well, because Dean had joked that he wanted to be drawn like 'one of those french girls' only to be turned down. Now Sam found himself flipping through the pages, finding little notes about him and little sketches. Dean had been right… he really did like Lyra, and they probably should have said something sooner. He gathered the pages and started sorting through them, putting them back into the notebook the best he could. He looked at her laptop laying on the floor, his stomach turning in fear, praying he hadn't broken it. When he was finished putting her notebook back together, he kept one page for himself; the full-page sketch of him that he had found that stopped him from ruining the rest of her book. Stuffing it in his pocket, he felt his head ready to explode from a headache and stood from the chair, finishing packing the rest of her stuff so that he could go to bed.

Dean turned to Sam as he finished. "What should we tell them?"

Sam rubbed his temples, shrugging. "I don't know."

Dean sat down on the bed, rubbing his eyes. His heart felt like it was tightened by a vice grip. "Let's just forget it for now. If they ask about their stuff, say we had a fight and some things got thrown. Other than that, let's just keep our feelings under lock and key. Nothing's going to change, alright?"

Sam sighed, throwing himself onto the other bed. He clenched his jaw. "Fine."

"Fine." Dean nodded, laying down. The lights were still on but neither of them cared. Neither of them really slept, either. Their minds wandering, wondering if they were really doing the right thing by denying their feelings, and waiting for the girls to get back. One thing they could agree on, was that wherever they were, it didn't feel like home without those girls.

And right now, they had to convince themselves that's all that mattered.