Vaan and Penelo's Excellent Adventure.
Penelo and the girls were relaxing at a hot spring they had found. It had been quite a day. All of the Viera women had insisted that the white-haired man was a male Viera and had been picking at him. Lente had suggested the man wear bunny ears, which the man just vapourized.
"Penelo, can I wash your back? I'll let you pet my ears." Shara asked. She did look really cute with her hair down and everything, but Penelo was not interested in the Viera at all. And the fact that the Viera got to see Penelo without her clothes on did nothing to help the matter. Lente had already swatted Shara once for being indecent.
"No. And I'm not interested in touching your ears or any other part of you either." Penelo said, edging away from the Viera woman.
"Shara, I'm warning you…" Lente began.
"Lente, save it. You sound just like my mother. She kicked me out of the village when she found out I had been sleeping with this other Viera girl, who left me when she found out I had been banished!" Shara yelled.
"It's not that you're lesbian, it's how you act around Penelo. Personally, I could care less. Most Viera are bisexual anyhow."
Shara was about to speak, when suddenly she noticed Foobar happily floating on his back next to her.
"Hi Bongo! We're gonna play a kupo little game I like to call 'Rock, paper, dynamite'! KUPO!" The Moogle said.
"I really don't want to play with you." Shara said.
"THEN DIE BONGO!" Foobar screamed, hitting Shara repeatedly with his Fubar before latching onto her face.
Lente's ears shot straight up and she got out of the water. Penelo averted her eyes. Having to look at one naked Viera was enough. Lente was gorgeous, but Penelo was not like Shara, who pried the Moogle off just in time to see Lente leave and began drooling over the other Viera. Foobar knocks her out with the Fubar and then decides to float face down, still yelling "DIE BONGO!"
"Cokie, can you get Shara out of the spring before she drowns? I don't like her, but I don't want her dead." Penelo asked. The Bangaa grabbed the Viera and took her out of the spring.
"That Shara has always been like that. Ritz actually accepted that behaviour though. She and Shara were lovers." A young Viera white mage named Marilyn said.
"Why are your ears and hair black? Do you dye your hair?" Penelo asked.
"I take it you've never seen a Viera like me before. The regular Viera call us 'Dire Vieras', but in truth we're no different from them besides being born with black hair. It's really rare, and we're usually shunned by the white haired Viera."
"Why did Lente get out?" A Viera assassin named Sarah asked. As if on cue, the men ran by, screaming, a very angry Lente hot on their tails.
"I SMELLED YOU ALL! YOU WERE PEEKING! ESPECIALLY YOU, MISTER VAAN!"
"JONAS WAS FORCING ME!" Vaan cried. Lente grabbed a vine and lassoed him. "Wow, Fran. I know why Balthier likes you now."
"Are you still insisting I'm this 'Fran', whoever she is?"
"Lente doesn't seem to realize that she isn't wearing anything." Marilyn remarked.
"No. Lente sees it as her natural body and nothing else. Vaan is the only one who sees it as nothing but a really hot naked Viera." Penelo said.
"If I were Shara, I'd be attracted to her." Sarah added.
"Oooookay Sarah. You didn't need to share that."