Chapter 10 – So long, Mr. Spence!

When evening came, Michael had to go as visiting hours were also over. He had tried to persuade Nadia to bend the rules for him (typical!) but she would not. I was quite glad, as I didn't want him to spend literally all of his time in this dreary hospital, he deserved to sleep in his comfortable bed at his hotel, while sick people here had to make do with the hard, cot-like beds. At least it was an incentive for those who could to get better quickly, just to sleep in a soft bed and get out of the hospital ones.

I stayed awake for a while after he kissed me goodbye and reluctantly left me. I thought about a lot of things – Sonaya, Michael and people at Holby. My thoughts drifted to Penny, who had died some time ago now...I missed her from time to time. She had been such a good friend, we had also not got off to the best start, but soon enough we became fast friends. She was killed tragically and we didn't even notice she had gone...I let out a single sob as I recalled how she had died in the rail accident but Michael and I hadn't even realised she wasn't with us, then Michael got a phone call and we found out she had died.

"I'm sorry, Penny." I said in a hushed voice, to myself rather than her. She couldn't hear me anymore and my apology wasn't worth anything.

With sorrow clouding my mind and fond memories of moments shared with Penny pervading my thoughts, I drifted off to sleep. I didn't know what was happening as I fell asleep though, or I would have got up and left the hospital to try and stop the debacle...

Michael had started out for his hotel, thinking also about memories and feelings and the new feeling of joy at confessing his love for me, but soon another darker idea entered his mind and took root there. He thought about how I was soon going to die, what he would do when I left and all the other people who had once been in his life, but had waltzed out of it, leaving him.

His first thought was for Annaliese, his ex-wife, whom I knew he still loved and would for the rest of his life. She was in New Zealand now, having left him again, but this time he was meant to see his children over this holiday but she had changed her mind and taken them with her. Michael adored his children, I had seen back at Holby just how much he had been looking forward to spending some time with them and how crushed he had been when Annaliese had last called. He also thought about Penny, the doctor who loved her work so much it took her life, Donna, the nurse who realised he wasn't good enough for her and had gone off with her new family and Connie, who was 'the one who got away', as they could have at any time started something but sparring was just more fun but Michael truly regretted not doing anything about that, but everyone eventually moved on from him.

The one thing that had mattered unequivocally to all of these people was their family. Annaliese had taken their four children because she couldn't stand to be without her family, Penny had gone into medicine along with Oliver, her brother and they were family, Donna had left to give Mia a better life with Kieran and Connie had left to care for her father and to spend more time with her darling daughter, Grace, for family. Michael knew as he walked through the main square of Kiev that he had made a gross error of judgment, but he now had to do everything he could to rectify his mistake, for there was one person who was going to leave, and leave her family behind.

Michael halted and turned to look back where he came, then returned his gaze to his hotel, just considering whether he was about to do the right thing, but he knew he had to do what he thought I should have done days ago. He turned and raced down the small streets of Kiev, heading for my mama's house.

"Derzhka! Mrs Petrenko!" Michael shouted as he rapped on my mother's front door. "Open the door! I have to tell you something urgent!"

It took another moment for Sonaya to open the door with a perplexed and surprised expression and allow Michael entry. When Michael rushed through to the living room, he saw my mama sitting next to Niklaus and Nadia with an array of wedding RSVP's scattered around the room.

"Nadia?" Michael exclaimed. "Have you told them?" he asked looking at her with accusing and incredulous eyes.

Nadia at once rose to look at Michael directly in the face, "No! Of course not, Frieda said she didn't want anyone to know." She examined him intently, "So what are you doing here?"

Everyone else in the room watched the pair's exchange utterly blank, but they kept their silence until an opportunity to enquire what was going on presented itself.

Michael violently shook his head, "Nadia, it's wrong, it's all wrong. Frieda was totally wrong to think she ought to keep it a secret from her family, because family is all that matters!" Michael paused to take a breath, "I have to tell them. She may not think she wants me to now, but in the end," Michael sighed heavily at his choice of phrase, "in the end, she'll be glad of it."

Nadia watched the impassioned man as he declared that actually their sentiments were the same. She also had been apprehensive to withhold Frieda's condition from the family, especially as her family was soon to be Frieda's family, but she had kept her own counsel. All she did in response to Michael's violent outburst was give a small nod.

Niklaus turned to his sister and asked, "Nadia, what is going on?"

Nadia only sat back down next to her brother and placed her hand on his, silencing him.

Michael noticed this intimate gesture, so he looked over at Sonaya and seeing her lack of reaction, in disbelief said, "If another woman was being like that with my fiancé, I'd have something to say about it."

At this, the entire room peered at him both curiously and confusedly, but my mama piped up, "Why would a sister holding her brother's hand be a problem?"

Michael shot looks from Nadia to Niklaus to Sonaya and his mouth opened in shock. "Sorry! Gosh, I've made a mistake. Frieda didn't tell me you were related." He said to Niklaus and Nadia.

Sonaya smiled, "No, she wanted to see how much you could work out." Her smile turned into a frown, "Where is Frieda? She was supposed to be helping with this wedding, but suddenly she's become interested in spas and her own, selfish desires." Michael could see my sister's disgust at the story of my spending time at a spa instead of being a good sister and helping with the wedding preparations, but Sonaya's reaction was enough now to convince him that he needed to come clean.

"Sonaya, she's not being selfish…or at least, she isn't on purpose." He squirmed as he was about to reveal his deception, "I'm afraid, and I am sorry, that Frieda, Nadia and I have not been entirely honest with you about where she is."

Everyone looked between Michael and Nadia, not knowing what to make of his words. They were all thinking: why would Frieda have included Nadia in her alibi?

My mama never did like riddles or enigmas, so she said in a huffed voice, "Mr. Spence, I like plain-speaking, so I would be grateful if you'd just tell us the truth and explain where Frieda is and what she's been doing…I promise not to judge."

Michael could see that she had entirely mistaken his meaning, but he wasn't going to address that on its own, "Sorry, but it is hard for me to tell you what I must." Michael sat down opposite my mama and leaned forward, "Frieda is in hospital and….she's dying."

You could have heard a pin drop in the room, so while Michael had the chance, he continued the story, "She collapsed when we were out a few days ago, so I took her to the hospital with Nadia. Frieda found out she has an untreatable type of lung cancer and she does not have long left." Michael had to stop to stop himself becoming hysterical, "She didn't tell me, I found out today, but she said before that she didn't want you guys to know she was in hospital because she didn't want to interrupt the wedding or the arrangements. She knows she's going to die and she told me her last wish was to see Sonaya get married and not to disrupt her wedding. But, you ought to see her, she needs people right now. For what it's worth, I'm sorry I played my part in the lying…I wouldn't have, had I known she was so ill."

The silence continued to weigh down on the room for a few minutes, until Sonaya went to sit beside Nikalus and taking his hands in hers, began to cry. This seemed to wake everyone else up out of their stupor. My mama approached Michael and her blank, unreadable expression gave away nothing. Once she reached him, she did something I've never seen nor heard her do. In the second his eyes arrested on her face, she struck him across the face in a hard, cold slap. If my sister's weeping had not roused everyone, this certainly would have and then sent everyone flying with the shock of it.

Michael winced at the pain, his cheek turning a bright shade of pink where my mama had battered it. In a malicious and injured tone, she spat at Michael, "We trusted you, Mr. Spence! We invited you here to our home and such an important family occasion, and this is how you repay us!" She gestured at Niklaus, "you humiliate us in front of our daughter's fiancé and his family, when even they paid for your expensive hotel!" Tears and sobs began to invade her voice, "And then, you come here, to tell me that for days, my daughter has been dying in hospital and she will not be alive for long – maybe not even long enough to see her sister married!"

Sonaya rose, wiping her eyes, to put her hands round mama and pull her away from my beloved, whom she had slapped. Michael had not reacted to her attack or her harsh words. He just sat before her dejectedly and tried to stop his own tears from showing. He knew it was better that my mama vent her anger on him rather than save it for me…

Once she had removed mama from the room, she returned to face Michael and pulled him to stand her and she then had her turn to let off steam at Michael, "How could you? It's typical Frieda, not wanting to let anyone know what pain she's in, but how could you go along with it? I suppose I should be grateful that you eventually told us the truth, but I can't be, because you should never have kept her secret. My wedding won't go ahead now, not if Frieda isn't well enough for it, so that's that decided. But, I don't think you should stay here anymore." She sighed heavily, "You should just go home, Michael. Let us go to Frieda, let my mama spend some time with my sister. We'll be with her until she dies, not you! If you like – or even love her – then, let her spend her last time with her family with no fighting around her, for mama won't forgive you for lying to us and she'll be difficult. I think you should just go back to Holby."

Michael heard Sonaya's words and advice and judged that he did love me with all his heart and after betraying my secret, he didn't know if he could face me, so maybe it would be better for him to return to Holby and let me die in peace surrounded by a calm group of family. It would be his punishment to live with himself afterwards…

"I'll go now."

And so, Michael checked out of his hotel, took a taxi to the airport and booked himself on an immediate flight to London passing through Prague. With a heavy heart, he left Kiev and the dying woman he loved behind in it…