The Difference Between Boys And Girls by fang_shinobi
Disclaimer: Naruto and other related characters, settings and such are strictly under the ownership of Masashi Kishimoto-sama. I take no claim of ownership except for the words I have contributed.
Summary: Sasuke and Sakura have been chosen by their camp counselors to head the debate on which gender was better. But things get personal when they start a girl-against-boy war that could ruin the whole summer. Watch out for cockroaches, bloodsucking leeches and such. Sasusaku and other pairings…
CHAPTER 9 – Tricks
DAY 3
Cabin B5 0530
"Hey, wake up, sleepyhead!"
Naruto half-consciously felt someone poke his head a few times.
"Give it up." Sounded like Sasuke. "Let's go. We don't even have time to grab some breakfast before the assembly."
"Oi, Naruto, wake up." It was Suigetsu again, poking his head… again.
Naruto's eyes peeled open slowly. He blinked a few times. What time is it anyway? The blinking digital clock hanging above his head read 5:32 am. Wait, wasn't the meeting with Tsunade at 6-
"Whoa!" he yelled as he scrambled to his feet, falling to the floor. "Why didn't you guys wake me up?!" he demanded, wincing from the newly acquired bump on his head.
"We wanted to see you panic," Sasuke said coolly from his own bunk across from Naruto's. "Tick tock," he added, giving Naruto the perfect view of the time on his wristwatch.
"Oh, damn!" muttered their blond friend as he dashed into the bathroom and started the shower.
"Close the door, will ya!" laughed Suigetsu.
"You know, Naruto-kun," started Sasuke, leaning beside the open bathroom door, "the girls in the cabin across from ours have a perfect view through our bathroom door." He dodged a spray of water from the mobile showerhead.
Suigetsu laughed even louder. Their front door was closed.
…
Picnic Tables 0550
"Knew you guys would be late."
"Can it, Shikamaru," Sasuke replied icily as he and his cabinmates approached, "someone took half an hour in the bath."
"I needed my bath time!" argued Suigetsu.
Naruto plopped down on the bench as he continued tying his shoelaces. "And you guys had no plan to wake me up, did you?" His blond hair was still wet, dripping on his face and down the back of his head, soaking the blue hood on his back.
Chouji, Shikamaru's big friend, started dishing out buns, rolls and other pastries wrapped in plastic wrap.
"We figured you'd need these," Shikamaru said. He nodded towards the long line running down the length of the counters. "No way you'd make it in time for the assembly if you had to buy breakfast, would ya?"
"Better eat up," Chouji said, digging through a bag of chips.
"What'll we do without you?" Naruto asked thankfully as he munched on a pork bun. His cabinmates took some of the goodies and started eating too.
"Yeah, you can pay for those," Shikamaru said, getting up from the bench. "We better go. Tsunade will fry us if we don't get there in time."
"Hey, have guys noticed how awful this place looks?" Suigetsu asked as they were leaving. The ground was still littered with the remnants of last night's food fight, and they were starting to stink.
"Don't remind us," Sasuke said, walking on ahead of them.
"Awesome food fight though," remarked the aqua-haired boy, giving the eating area a last glance before following after his friends.
…
The Field 0600
Tsunade laid the ground rules and their corresponding consequences rather heavily. She was harsh and was extremely cautious in making sure that she nailed every single one of those hooligans with her deadly glares.
Sure, they had all experienced such similar tirades before. But that did not mean that they were immune from flinching with every inflection of her voice. It was doubtful though, that her words did register in the students' heads, but one thing was for certain: they were doubly scared of her now.
She took about an hour, but by the time she was through, a collective exhale emanated from her audience, as if they hadn't taken a single breath since they saw her. She marched off the stage and was gone.
The crowd was noisy now, since the terror principal had gone out of earshot. Some of the teachers started shouting out instructions on where to go for their "formal" classes, but no one seemed to notice.
"Let's go," suggested Shikamaru. "I'd rather not stick around for the stampede or whatever it'll be this time."
The others followed after him, weaving through the crowd and very much aware of the impending riot just waiting around the corner.
Suddenly, Naruto bumped into someone. He recognized him as an upperclassman, a blond-haired senior with sharp blue green eyes. "Uh, gomen, Sempai," stammered Naruto. "Uh, a bit crowded isn't it?" He was suddenly aware of the other seniors around him.
The blond senior smiled impishly, holding up a finger over his mouth. "Let's keep this a secret, ne?" he said.
The other guys snickered behind him.
He swiped at them excitedly, trying to make them shut up. "You gotta see this, Naruto-kun," he said. With the other hand, he showed Naruto a big dark Hercules beetle.
"Whoa, cool," the younger blond said, amazed by the big bug. "What's it for?"
The upperclassman winked and gently placed it on the shoulder of an unsuspecting girl. The girl was a sophomore with shoulder-length brown hair with pink streaks running through it. She was chatting with a few other girls. "Watch," the blond sempai said as he and his friends started pulling Naruto a few steps back.
Naruto could only stare blankly at the huge insect. Huge bug plus giddy girls equals drama… BIG DRAMA.
"Hey, Chi-chan?" one of the girls, a pretty brunette with big round glasses, asked the unsuspecting victim as she gaped at the big black spot on her friend's shoulder. "What's that?"
"Eh?" the girl asked, clueless.
A girl with brown bobbed hair merely shrugged and said, "It's a bug."
Chi looked at the bug for a second before realization sunk in. "Get it off me!!!" she shouted in between shrieks.
It was instant chaos. She and her friends started shrieking and jumping and doing particularly nothing to get the bug off. A domino effect was observed: girls around them started freaking out as well, having no idea of what was happening, while boys entertained themselves by laughing up a storm and doing unflattering imitations of the girls.
The culprits behind Naruto laughed, tickled pink. They were having a ball. He, on the other hand, merely gaped at the scene. It was Shikamaru who found him and dragged him away.
…
Old Port 0730
"And you just stared at them?" Chouji asked between chomps.
"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Naruto whined.
"Oh, man!" griped Suigetsu. "I should've seen that! The drama!"
"I have no idea why you're so interested in those things," Shikamaru remarked. "Other than Naruto, in fact, I haven't met anyone whose happiness is as shallow."
"That's me," replied the aquamarine-haired boy, kicking at the water like a little kid, "Shallow Suigetsu."
The group of boys had gathered at the port, waiting for their 8 o'clock classes, which they would be taking together. Shikamaru lay on his back, staring at the sparse clouds littering the sky. Suigetsu had his shoes off, dipping his feet in the warm lake water. As expected, Chouji was happily munching on a hotdog sandwich. Sai was scribbling something on a small notebook. Sasuke was skipping rocks and throwing a few at them at the back of Naruto's head every time he started whining. And Naruto was sitting on the edge of the port, just ranting and worrying about the moral fragility of the relationships between his friends, both girls and boys, and blah blah blah… The usual.
"What'll happen if there'll be a full blown war?!" Naruto whined all of a sudden.
"I'll be watching the fireworks then!" remarked Suigetsu.
"If that's the case," Shikamaru said, sitting up, "I'll be heading for cover."
Suddenly they were generally surprised to hear some loud yells coming from nearby.
"Speaking of fireworks," Suigetsu said, kicking water off his feet before shoving on his shoes and running for the source of the ruckus. The others reluctantly followed after him, some more reluctant than others.
Further up the path, they found Kiba and Kankurou shouting and cussing about something.
"Oi! What's up?!" Suigetsu asked as he approached.
"They dumped this sticky goop on us," Kiba complained, trying to scratch off the said sticky substance on his shirt.
"Who did what?" Naruto asked as he came running up to them.
"A couple of your batchmates," Kankurou said, glaring at the goo on his sleeve as if that would help remove it.
"Tayuya and Kin," Kiba stated.
"Smells sweet," Naruto said, sniffing the goop he'd wiped off them with his hand.
"Them?" Shikamaru asked, snickering. "Whaddya do? Called them pretty?"
"Uh…" Kiba offered.
"Tastes waxy," Naruto said, letting his tongue out.
Sasuke gave him a good whack on the head and said, "You don't what that is, and you just stick it in your mouth?"
"Sowy, mommy," replied the blond, putting the finger in his mouth again. "Tastes familiar."
"No, we didn't call them pretty," Kankurou finally said. "Whaddya think we are?"
"We were passing by," insisted Kiba.
"And?" Chouji asked, quite aware of something else.
Kiba shrugged, attempting innocence. "Actually, uh… it was Kankurou's fault!" He pointed an accusatory finger at his friend.
"What?!" yelled the other.
"We were on our way to the next class! And they were here, and Kankurou here said move, and they started arguing-"
"And you told them to buzz off-"
"And I told them to buzz off- and hey! Stop putting words in my mouth! Anyway! It was all his fault!"
"What?! As if you weren't there, mouthing them off!"
"Aha!" exclaimed Naruto. "I recognize that taste!"
"Naruto, stop eating that gunk!" reprimanded Shikamaru.
"It's honey!"
"Honey? Yeah, right!" Kiba said, pulling off something from his shirt. It was white, waxy and had hexagonal shapes on it. "Right…"
"Unprocessed honey?" Sasuke asked. "You mean, they got you with honey straight from the hive?"
"And the bees?" Sai asked.
"Now that you think about it…" Kankurou started. "Didn't the girls smell like smoke?"
"So they just smoked the hive and grabbed the honey? That's rich," remarked Kiba.
"Yeow!" exclaimed Suigetsu, swatting something on his neck. "What the-?!" On the palm of his hand was the remains of a squished bee. "Oh, I think they're waking up."
"What're you talking-" Kiba was cut off by a buzzing sound in front of his face. He gaped at the fuzzy yellow-and-black insect floating in front of his nose. He swiped madly at it, imagining dozens more surrounding him. "Oh, damn it, let's get outta here!"
He bolted down the path, the rest of the guys following after him, the buzzing sound haunting their ears. Maybe they were there. Maybe they weren't. Whatever the case, Kankurou was not too far behind his behoneyed cabinmate, convinced that the bees were after them.
By the time they ran up to their cabin, B4, the rest of their friends had slowed down to a jog, staring in amazement as their panic-ridden friends pushed and scrambled over each other to get inside.
"Don't you two think we've outrun them by now?" Shikamaru asked.
"Yeah," Naruto added, "there isn't a single bee around."
"Who the hell cares?!" Kankurou yelled back, wrestling over the doorknob with Kiba. "I'm not taking any chan- Oof!" They finally managed to open to the door and fall on top of each other.
"Hey, what's up?" They turned to see Kin and Tayuya standing on the other side of the path. The former had an amused smirk on her face while the latter looked at them disapprovingly, as if she thought of them as failures at being men. "Did the bees ask for their honey back?" asked the ebony-haired girl.
"Shut up, Kin!" Kiba shouted at her.
"Oh, did I make the baby mad?" she asked, making baby faces at them.
"I can't believe you guys started running like that," Tayuya remarked. "Wait, that was believable enough, since you two are a couple of girly girls!"
"Shut it, dogface!" Kankurou shouted back, scrambling to his feet and nearly kicking Kiba in the face.
"Make me, mountain boar!"
"I will, potato sack!"
Kin rolled her eyes. Now that she was out of the picture, it got boring. "Why don't you guys run in and lock the doors before the bees come?!"
"You're in way over your head, porker!" continued Tayuya, ignoring her companion.
"Who are you calling porker, fatty?!" railed Kankurou.
"Would you guys shut up?!" Kiba suddenly shouted.
"Why don't you shut up?!" yelled the arguing duo.
Kiba slammed the door in front of Kankurou's face, ending the fight.
"What a waste of time!" Kin complained.
"Later, losers," said Tayuya as she stomped off huffily, Kin following after her.
Naruto stuck his tongue out their backs but didn't dare say a word. They were scary girls.
"I'm so glad they're finally gone," he said.
"Don't get too excited," Sai said.
"We have classes with them next," added Sasuke.
"Eh?! Whaddya mean-?!"
"Hey, we're late," Shikamaru cut in. "Let's go!"
"Classes are at 8!" Suigetsu shouted at B4 as he followed after the group. "Don't forget to change clothes too!"
END OF CHAPTER
…
Author's note: 'Kay, for some reason, I wrote this chapter real fast (just didn't type it). Yehey me! BTW I have this new fic, Small Fish, Big Pond, and its Chapter 1 is going along slowly, so the update will be late. Thankies.
Side notes: (1) Intimidation works better than rules in Tsunade's case. Just works that way.
(2) We had this white mouse pet back in elementary school, and there were girls who'd freak out when we bring it to them. I just loved their reactions! Though I am a girl, I have no problem handling mice (except I used to be afraid I might break the micey's tail) or beetles. In fact, I adore beetles! I hate it though when mice or beetles pee or poo on me. It's annoying! And yeah, I have friends who hate beetles. Why oh why?! They're so cute! Except the spiky ones; their spikes hurt!
(3) The bee scene seems extremely unlikely. It's fictional and really weird. I made it up. Period.
Next time:
"Where were you anyway?" Kin asked Karin in an exaggerated manner. "You should've seen it!"
"Oh, I was up to something," Karin said, smirking.